Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Little Thoughts

previous post: Farmville Follies

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107 Comments

  1. Very good use of algebra there, Dan.

    Alyssa, what the fuck?

  2. Angela sounds as if she could not satisfy her husband properly

    Alyssa sounds like a radical socialist lefty

    Kyle seems to be implying that Chicago is full of homosexuals

    Kieran & Dan are simply boring

  3. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    That algebra doesn’t add up. Still funny though.

  4. I say no to the toast post.

  5. Ah, the age of ten years old, when calling someone gay was the most briliantest insult in the whole wide world!

  6. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    … unless Alcohol = 2 Wins Which is even better.

    most people have a pet peeve for grammar, mine is with buggy equations.

    Also Master Prop is gay????!!111 My boner just got bigger.

  7. i dunt like thees ones

  8. toast post fail.

  9. Alyssa confuses me…

  10. Also, hahaha Greg is implying that Kyle was at the gay pride parade, thus implying that Kyle is gay, which makes Greg so funny, lololol!!!!11oneone.

    Or is it spelled “looooooool”?

  11. no, people toast toast
    but so do toasters

  12. Speaking of buggy equations, “Alcohol = 2 wins” doesn’t work either

  13. Toast toast toast doesn’t even make grammatical sense, except it’d be the imperative: Toast, toast toast! But otherwise there are only two options:

    1) Toasts toast toast
    2) Toast toasts toast

    Sorry, Alyssa.

  14. Can someone tell Alyssa to change her status? It’s making my head hurt!

  15. The last one was cute. The rest of them blow chunks.

  16. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Damn, I knew that was wishful thinking. Simultaneous equations won’t work either because we have only 2. Damn it, is there a mathematician in the house?

  17. Wait, did John become Jina? Did he have a sex change?

  18. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Duh

  19. no ficko he shagd sumone else calld jina

  20. Meh.

  21. #1 is only funny if you read it “What happened to John” “You mean Jina? Because John had his penis turned inside out and sewed into a crude orifice which vaguely resembles a vagina. Thus, John is now Jina”

  22. How is a head injury due to alcohol win?

  23. wats hapend to alord tonite? hes a funi guy

  24. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    My God Dan don’t tell me you have something against sex changes too, these men are mutilating their cocks just to be able to have sex with other men and NOT go to hell and you still have a problem?

  25. Alyssa’s logic makes me feel like a Vulcan in comparison.

  26. @Dooky Smooth Buns – If John was born unto this world as a male, and it was God’s will for him to be born with a penis, then he is going against God’s will by turning his penis into a crude looking vagina. If God wanted John to have a vagina, He would have made it so himself.

  27. krasivaya_devushka

    @europe_rocks, I think she meant toast toasts toast…what you have under 2).

  28. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Ok I understand. So what do we do about people who are born with both a cock and a pussy, who do they get to fuck?

  29. dan but erliyer u wer sain that its betta to hav a circimsized dick cos it cleener and betta but thats mewtilatin wat god gav u to so goin aganst gods wil just as muche

  30. The equations work if head injury = 0.

    Otherwise Dan just fails at algebra.

  31. also dan that like sayin peple that are born wiv webd fingas an stuff like that shudnt hav em sepratd cos god gav em it

  32. looks like u anit got an ansa to that now hav ya fuckaroon? loooooooool

  33. Toasters toast BREAD!!! Dammit get it together.

  34. You know what they say, all toasters toast toast.

  35. What the fuck is happening to Lamebook?

  36. I think the more important question is… if a robot is eating a fork, what does he use to pick it up with?

  37. Hmmm.
    Not too good. We need some ‘cringe’ posts like the good old days…

  38. A robot won’t need a fork, as a fork generally is not messy to eat and can be eaten with fingers (or whatever robots have)!

  39. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Dan fargis seems to have disappeared after being faced with the might of yoink’s web-hand question.

  40. Yoink does make a good point. As hard as it is to read.

  41. Jesus GrammarPuss, Robots have fingers. This board is getting so racist!

  42. Once again, yoink, you have made an excellent point. You are on a roll today, buddy.

  43. I wasn’t sure what sort of robot it might be. Sometimes when I draw them, they might have other things instead of limbs/digits. Perhaps a saw for one arm and spatula for the other?
    Think of Edward Scissorhands! Albeit he wasn’t a robot…

  44. woodnt a robot eetin a fork be like caniblism? an yeah fink i scard him of he dint no how ta ansa it wat a shayme looooooool shos wat a cowrd he is

  45. @europe_rocks

    It does make sense, since toast is generally meant in the plural sense.

  46. If alcohol + head injury = win
    then alcohol – win = – head injury
    Someone didn’t pay attention during Math class…

  47. I can’t believe it took 46 comments before someone – Sandee – corrected that last one. C’mon people!

  48. i dont undastand the minus sumfing equals sumfing how does it make sense it onli werks wiv numbas

  49. Definitely a negative head injury.

    The Stanley Cup at GPP is one of those ideological scythes that try to carve society. You know a load of people are going to be pissed but it’s going to happen anyway so just deal with it. Rinse and repeat, until the same thing applies with homosexuality in general.

    I support gay rights. But in terms of homophobia, I think it’s the best we can hope for.

  50. the fate of intelligence

    These are just boring… but since yoink is on lamebook I really enjoy the comments! And yoink, I’m also missing alordslums. You two make such a good team!

  51. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    -1 experience point from @hypothesis.

    and yoink, it works because we are using the words as variables, instead of ignoring them and enjoying the “joke”.

  52. i stil dunt get it but dowt im gunna so no need ta explain if u do it wil stop bein funni neway yea alord is the dude

  53. Yoink, do any of your status’s end up on here?

  54. na they neva hav i dunt relly do my statas much onli relly when sumfing big hapens

  55. but if john doesn’t believe in god, then it doesn’t matter what he does with his penis..
    and yes, toasters toast bread, so alyssa should be asking, does bread toast bread? but none of that makes sense anyway, because if guns don’t kill people,people kill people then if toasters don’t toast bread people toast toast, right?
    oh jesus i lost myself…
    oh and, head injury + win = alcohol….?
    ahaha wtf

  56. YoinksTranslator

    Sorry guys I’m a bit late tonight.

    yoink June 30th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
    “i stil dunt get it but dowt im gunna so no need ta explain if u do it wil stop bein funni neway yea alord is the dude”

    Translation:
    “I still don’t get it, but doubt I am going so not need to explain if you do, it will stop being funny annyway yeah alord (?) is the dude”

    yoink June 30th, 2010 at 5:52 pm
    “na they neva hav i dunt relly do my statas much onli relly when sumfing big hapens”

    Translation:
    “No they never have, I don’t really do my status much, only really when something big happens”

  57. @hypothesis

    See comment #3, as well as a whole bunch of comments in between, including one of mine.

  58. dan_fargis_is_ugly

    @europerocks…. you’re kind of rad. I’m mildly in love.

  59. @ everyone who hoped I had run in a cowardly fashion, I had to attend the evening mass.

  60. Evening mass witch burning? We have those every other Thursday behind IHOP – the church, not the restaurant. We go there afterwards for chicken strips and lemonade.

  61. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    ok, welcome back dan_fargis welcome back. Now please answer my question and yoink’s question. If somebody is born a hermaphrodite, who are they supposed to have sex with and still get into heaven?

    yoink is asking about someone born with syndactyly, are they supposed to not fix their hands because they will go to hell?

  62. teo makes me laugh. Mass witch burnings at IHOP (the church, not the pancake house) FTW!

  63. Ooh, I have a question for dan_fargis, too!

    If somebody is born with ambiguous genitals (which happens ALL THE TIME), and the doctors make a mistake in choosing the sex for the child (which also happens a lot), is that person destined for hell unless they choose a life of celibacy?

  64. dan_fargis has something against “crude” post-ops, that much we’ve learned tonight.

  65. With a name like Fargis, I’d choose my words wisely….

  66. dan_fargis – simply by mentioning god as a real entity in the realm of the real, you come across as the stupidest of the stupid.

    agnosticism is the only way to go – who here can claim it is within the human compass to be able to comprehend or otherwise the idea of god?

    unless you’re jesus or dawkins. and you’re not. you’re just a deluded douche.

  67. Count me in on the IHOP thing, both IHOPs

    I like chicken strips. What kind of dipping sauces do they have there?

  68. @alordslums – Given that the vast majority of human beings believe in a God or creator, your “agnosticism is the only way to go” is every bit as condescending and holier-than-thou as you accuse me of being. You’re essentially calling most of your fellow humans “deluded douches” since anyone who claims to be religious is (according to your standards) deluded.

    It’s sad how the liberal agenda and takeover of higher education has poisoned the minds of so many. I do not take offense to your attacks on me. In fact, I welcome them. Perhaps when the reckoning comes and Jesus returns to Earth, you can recite to me some passages from your Richard Dawkins or Sam Harris book.

  69. @Rockso we usually mix witch blood with ranch dressing. Delicious.

  70. krasivaya_devushka

    Of all the websites out there, this really isn’t the one where you should discuss your religious beliefs.

  71. Dan’s best line so far is “Its sad how the liberal agenda and takeover of higher education have poisoned the minds of so many”. BWHAHAHAHAHA

    Yes. Education is the WORST poison out there of the masses!!

  72. the fate of intelligence

    personally, I think that dan_fargis is fake. I can’t imagine that a person as… well… religious as he is would be on such a site and seriously comment all these posts. Shouldn’t something like this lead him streat to hell? Something like “don’t judge other people beause of some stupid things they wrote on facebook while being probably drunk or on drugs.”?
    sry if all this is a bit confusing but it’s 3 am here and I should really go to sleep now. good night lamebook!

  73. “”You’re essentially calling most of your fellow humans “deluded douches””"”

    -

    correct! bonus point!

    now we’re on to the double points round! starter for ten, do we know the meaning of life…?

  74. Alyssa, you totally stole that joke from comedian Ron White. Give him credit!

  75. Seriously, if I could, I would punch Mister Dan Fargis in the face. Even if he is a troll (which I suspect he may very well be) he pisses me off.
    Hope you’re happy that you’ve succeeded in being one of the most obnoxious people I’ve ever encountered, Dan. :)

  76. at first I though yoink might be an idiot…but after comment #29 I’ve discovered he’s friggin fantastic! You are on your toes fella and I think you are missing your calling on some debate team or something….seriously, I’m not even being sarcastic. That fargis dudes brain is moldy and rotten and malfunctioning. You, however are sharp as a tack. I’m a jerk for having thought less of you.

  77. maybe some shards of glass then dan..

  78. damn posted that in the wrong spot, whatever..

  79. I want to go to IHOP.

  80. Paranoid Android

    Fucking hell, what is happening? lamebook metamorphosing into not cool debate society.

  81. @ Dukey Smoothy Buns & I am not here

    I’m well aware that some people, yourself included, pointed out it was wrong, but you didn’t correct it, which was what I was moaning about.

  82. Walter Sobchak

    Alyssa – Jina = – Dan

  83. Walter Sobchak

    Yoinks this will help you understand:

    Bread – toast = – toaster.

    Get it?

  84. woodnt it be bred + toesta + tost

  85. i meen bred + tosta = tost

  86. PeanutButtercup

    @Yoink: ever heard of algebra? It’s like maths, but with letters…

  87. I guess the fact that alcohol – win = – head injury
    doesn’t make sense is because alcohol + head injury = win
    is wrong, and hence, after rearranging the equation, it is still wrong.
    Try this; alcohol + fail = head injury (because no one can argue with this logic)
    Therefore alcohol – head injury = – fail
    If we take – fail = win (using the laws of common sense) then;
    alcohol – win = head injury
    Hence I have proved that the original equation “alcohol + head injury = win” is wrong

  88. yeah like x – y = 20 or sumfing? yeh but fort the lettas had to meen a numba an wer just like cowd

  89. Yoink, I would work on your English before you decide to try and understand Maths. One step at a time, yeah?

  90. i werk wiv numbas belend!

  91. Paranoid Android

    Lame comment + Lame topic = Epic Fail

  92. Walter Sobchak

    I agree with 87. Chisel it into the stone.

  93. Walter Sobchak

    Yoink is you have an equation like 10 + 15 = 25 and you add or subtract the same thing from both sides of the equation then the equation is still correct.

    For example 10 + 15 (+5) = 25 (+5)
    or 30 = 30

    bread + toaster = toast
    bread + toaster (-toast) (-toaster) = toast (-toast) (-toaster) becomes
    bread – toast = – toaster

    Get it?

  94. Paranoid Android

    @ Walter:- Wow man, you just blew my mind, I will never look at my toaster in the same way again.

  95. yeah i fink i get it walter an do get the tost one u put now but stil dont get the hed ingary one in the post tho fanks tho

  96. YoinksTranslator

    Seriously I´m getting too tired to do this.. does anyone want my job?

  97. No way, Translator – you asked for it!

  98. krasivaya_devushka

    Whaaat, you’re quittin’ already?

  99. alcohol + win – head injury = double shots!

  100. Um…

    alcohol – win = (-) head injury

    Technically.

    Though I’m not sure what a “negative” head injury would be. Hm…

  101. toasters toast bread not toast so that post fails in more ways than one

  102. so did father dan ever answer yoinks question about webbed fingers or Dukey’s question about who a hermaphrodite gets to fuck? You all really do make me laugh out loud!

  103. YoinksTranslator

    I’m not saying I’m quitting, we just live in different time zones.. so expect some latency!

  104. Alyssa! Toasters don’t cook toast they cook bread dah

  105. Im just wondering if Yoink=Fargis

  106. yoink=fargis=nolongertroll

  107. The more I read the word “toast,” the more it doesn’t look right.

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