Thursday, October 21, 2010

Lil Wins

previous post: That Will Buffett Out

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65 Comments

  1. Bazinga.

  2. more beiber jokes…
    really?

    Kim has a point, I hate those people who do that.

  3. Wins? Where?

  4. I have nothing against gays. Nonetheless, I’m with Michael. Just on stylistic grounds.

  5. Purple is all the rage right now.

  6. Kim: Has a major point. A good win.

    Michael: Not a win. Lame is definitely the word, but it definitely isn’t a win.

    Carolyn: A little funny, but not THAT funny.

    And, finally, Samantha’s Google comment was way funnier than yet another Beiber joke. I get it, he’s a girl. He has no balls. Check. (Sound of a broken record in the background….)

  7. Re: Bieber, the more jokes made about him will eventually lead to him going away. See: Vanilla Ice Theorem.

    With regards to the whole “purple for anti-gay bullying”: FUCK OFF. I was a fat redheaded kid named Peter. Yeah, kiss my ass, we all had it rough. Next time you’re bullied stop being a candyass and punch the bully in the face.

  8. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    You guys are stealing Hobo’s thunder.

  9. yes, i wish i would see things like what happened in kim’s story, but i don’t count it as a win since it reminded me of how much i hate the grocery store (at any given moment, whether that shit is happening or not) and how much i need to go to it.

  10. Wins ftw. In other news, Keke almost got hit tonight by a jackhole going approx. 30-40 MPH who didn’t want to stop at the stop sign. I was on the farthest right lane, and he decided to go OFF THE ROAD to my right, and speed up more to get ahead of me. I let him, as I didn’t know, nor want to know what it would entail if I didn’t. I promptly honked, made crazy hand gestures, and got right on his ass at the stop. He looked in his rear view mirror nervously as I crept closer. :D

  11. You know what, I’m not even going to say anything. Because that would be too obvious.

    And that, Ryan, is why I am not an unoriginal twat.

  12. Fuck!

  13. re: BEIBER OR the more jokes made about him will eventually lead to him flashing his testies in his next music video. Like what Gaga did in telephone. In his case not a attractive image. ENOUGH WITH THE BIEBER JOKES!!

  14. Gaga flashed his testes?

  15. Did you all miss the memo where I almost got hit by a car tonight? @_@ I realize it was a TL:DR But it was details of the incident.

    Bieber would flash her ovarieswut?

  16. That first one restored my faith in humanity surviving until the 2038 problem dooms us all

  17. Keona, I was bewildered by your tale, primarily because I had no idea who or what the fuck ‘Keke’ was. Once I figured that out, however, it made sense
    Were you going that slow that he had to pass you like that?
    I’m surprised he’d be scared of you pulling up behind him, if he has the balls to go off the road like that.
    I once got into a game of chicken with a hummer as our lanes were merging. I hate hummers. I won the game. My wife was not amused.

  18. I think Kim’s post is a win, although I can’t really imagine that being true. It’s something I wish could happen, but she would probably have to simply direct the lady to another lane and tell her sorry. She couldn’t pull a line like that and get away with it.

    Michael’s was not a win! His comment did not deserve a like.

  19. lol, it’s a nickname of this name. No, I was going the speed limit, he was in a rush it seems to go through a stop sign, then go off road to get ahead of me.

  20. i’m thinking Kim’s is wishful thinking but i would totally put that on my Facebook if it really happened to me. Michael’s is funny only because it’s so ignorant. the other two weren’t funny., though if one of Samantha’s friends were cleverer, it might have been. Keona ftw, if for no other reason than surviving a close encounter with idiocy.

  21. Buzzkill, just because she might get in trouble for it doesn’t mean that she wouldn’t pull the line anyway. I’d do it. She might not even get in trouble.
    Keona, we have terrible drivers around here (Buffalo) except in the snow. Except in snow they just suck at it.

  22. lol, snow does make for terrible drivers. I just got new tires today because I didn’t really have any treads left, and they were dry-rotted. In the rain, I was sliding around. When I tried to accelerate in it, even slowly, my tires would spin. Nearly caused a separate accident a week or so back

    Tomorrow it will be alignment and new wiper blades. Cars are such costly things.

  23. In Buffalo, snow has the opposite effect. These morons cannot drive to save their lives most of the time, but somehow in snowstorms they’re good.

  24. Maybe they have the retarted logic of “It’s snowing, I better be super careful, it doesn’t take much to cause an accident, or deaths in snow” vs > “It’s all good and clear, I can be crazy, because my brakes and such will work fine under these conditions. Good luck everybody else.”

    (The last line was a reference. Cookies, hugs, and anal to whoever guesses right)

  25. I think that is it, but the bad driving isn’t just about driving too fast. For example, one popular thing to do is to drive in the left hand lane going nearly 10 mph under the speed limit. Or sometimes there will be three cars sitting next to one another going exactly the same speed, preventing anyone else from passing. People also don’t understand merging.
    In short, people around here can’t drive.

  26. Sorry to hear that, though I think that bad drivers apply everywhere to some degree or another. :(

  27. I used to be a cashier at a grocery store and I HAAATED when people would bring full carts to the express lane. The sign actually said on it “express when flashing” and it was almost always flashing. I liked the people that only bought like five things even when the light was solid.

  28. My question is, why do grocers think 15 minutes is an acceptable wait time in the checkout? They’ll have three or four lanes open, each of them with several people in them, and they don’t open new lanes! I understand sometimes this might be due to how many staff members they have but really.
    That’s why I like shopping at 3 am, when the place is nearly deserted. This also reduces the probability of some idiot managing to take up the entire fucking aisle just by themselves while they decide if they would like the ‘extra fatass’ or ‘mega fatass’ version of whatever they’re looking at.
    I also have to say I am a bit perturbed by the concern over the gay suicides, because the problem is not confined to gays. What about the 15-year old hetero girl who immigrated to the US from Ireland and then committed suicide after being continually called a whore (I guess she slept with a football player, then he and his friends started calling her a whore). People act like LGBT bullying is somehow significantly more of a problem than other kinds of bullying, but I don’t see evidence of that.

  29. Except for the first one with a “lil win”, the other are barely wins at all. They’re just lame and annoying, and seriously, Justin Bieber jokes like that hardly make me laught any more.

  30. It’s 10 items and fewer. Less does not describe discrete items /lame

  31. Agreed with about all of the above. Kim’s was a funny little win but the rest were laaaaaaaaaame. And I hate Justin Beaver as much as anyone else but I’m sick of the jokes too. It got tired after the first five mins or so.

    Today I went with my mom to do some MAJOR grocery shopping. My dad was always the one to do it but he’s been in the hospital for the past month (don’t ask – one, don’t feel like thinking about it; two, we still haven’t a clue what is really going on.) so it just kept getting put off. We had two carts full of stuff (and we weren’t done yet) and I don’t envy the people who have to wait behind us. Kind of embarrassing almost in a way. *shrug* But then when that stuff got put into the car, we still had a few things left to get (bulky items) and I just went in myself while my mom waited in the car with my daughter. I had gotten a taste of our own medicine, waiting behind this old couple with a cart full of stuff (and a pocket full of coupons). That didn’t bother me. But what did was the fact that the store had, by then, had only ONE lane open besides the 10 or less aisle (I had more than 10 haha) and the cashier was SO SLOW and talkative. She would STOP to stand there and talk to the couple in front of me AND the guy behind me… not talk WHILE doing her job, but actually stand still doing nothing. Pissed me the fuck off. Even besides the talking, though, she was incredibly slow. :/

    @mad2 – LMFAO about the game of chicken. If I was your wife I’d probably be pissed too, but laugh about it later. Lucky for you with the better drivers in a snowstorm thing… I’m from Baltimore and people here drive like fucking MORONS. (Based solely on the number of accident reports from insurance companies, the Baltimore/DC area is considered to have the worst drivers in the US. :/) And, somehow, even WORSE in bad weather. Most think that the laws of physics do not apply to them and their cars… that they can drive 60-70 MPH in the rain/snow/ice and be just fine. I’m 23 and without my license because driving here scares the shit out of me. Lived in WI for a few years and, relatively, driving there was like a dream. lol.

  32. Shelley, sorry to hear about your dad – it isn’t fun, I remember what it was like when my dad was in the hospital.
    Hrm… my wife does not like my driving and I don’t think she’d laugh about the game of chicken even now, a couple years later. In fact she won’t let me drive with her in the car except if she’s exhausted. May I hasten to point out that SHE totaled MY car, and I have NEVER been in an accident resulting in any serious damage?
    Baltimore eh? I’ve only been there once, and to a not-very-nice area (we stayed with friends who lived next door to a drug dealer). Good crab though.

  33. Holy moly.

  34. May I suggest the use of a segue when going off-topic. For example, “I used the express lane at Burger King today. Then on the way home I saw the car in front of me veer off the road and attempt to hit my dog Keke, who was sitting on my driveway. etc etc”

  35. Walter, you can suggest away, but don’t hold your breath as to whether anyone will listen/care.
    BTW, I don’t see ‘I used the express lane at Burger King’ to be a ‘segue’ to the off-topic. Nor have I ever seen an express lane at a burger king.

  36. And Keona/Keke did use a proper segue, by saying ‘In other news…’

  37. Sick of people coming on this website to complain about the posts. If you don’t like it, don’t look it and don’t comment. Think Lamebook isn’t good lately? Go find something else. Nobody cares about your opinion. Fair enough posting to make a valid contribution but you’re wasting your time if you think anyone wants to hear if you think this is “lame” or “a win”.

  38. This is sorta random but I wanted to share it cause we are talking about beiber hate here.

    Radio station where I live had a promotion where people would decorate there rooms / houses with Justin bieber articles, take pictures and submit to win a prize.

    The contest was called “Show me you’re Beiber”
    Now that was the only good Justin Beiber joke I had heard since the begining of this madness.

    @Hobo Just wait my old grumpy friend Willow Smith is next and she will have MORE funding and initial fan base for being Will Smith’s daughter.

  39. I’m sick of people coming onto these comments to complain about the comments. If you don’t like them, don’t look at them and don’t comment. Think Lamebook comments aren’t good lately? Go find some others. Nobody cares about your opinion. Fair enough posting to make a valid contribution but you’re wasting your time if you think anyone wants to hear you being a hypocritical fuck.

  40. Hey don’t mess with willow! That chick is talented, and I don’t care that I’m in my mid-20s but feel compelled to “whip my hair back and forth” when her song comes on the radio.

  41. Hypocritical fuck? I actually enjoy this website and seeing people post again and again that this website is “lame” is a pain in the ass for me. I don’t want to see that. Get off your high horse Hobo and get over yourself. You do it all the time, comment just to moan about the posts. If you don’t like the posts go elsewhere or shut the fuck up.

  42. Few things…

    @anorexicpanda – lol @ bazinga. That’s great.

    @mad2 – Buffalo? I lived about an hour south for awhile growing up and the majority of my family still does.

    Posts are OK. Lame is the word, is the word, have you heard.

  43. Mah mah mah, ooh ma ma mow, ooh ma ooh ma ma mow.

  44. So why don’t you take your own advice and stop reading the comments? Just look at the posts and then leave, if you hate them so much.

  45. @mad2 I agree with you about the news making LGBT issues seeming more important. I for one don’t like it. Sure, we have it rough, but everyone does. Theoretically speaking, ANYONE could be subject to bullying for whatever. I believe that News of bullying and suicides should be covered equally.

    @underthesea I agree with Hobo. See, not only are you being a hypocrite, you don’t seem to understand how this site operates.
    First off, the comments section is for posting what we want. We bitch about the posts, because that’s what these types of sites are made for. To make fun of the stupid, illiterate, racist, ignorant, and uneducated. Secondly, usually we veer off topic to lighten a mood, or for humorous purposes, i.e. perversion, personal stories, random facts, gross nasty subjects. Literally just for shits and giggles. I haven’t been here, nor commenting as long as Hobo, mad2, Saffer, word, Soup, ee, but I’m getting a feel for what’s a common routine.

    Now, you all back me up or correct me, but this is just my current interpretation. Lest I somehow be wrong and have foot-in-mouth syndrome. :)

  46. You got something-in-mouth syndrome alright!

    haha sorry had to do it

  47. You scuzz ball. ;) My mouth’s actually empty at the mo’.

  48. Well sure, it is empty at the _moment_…

  49. >_>; That is all.

  50. @Keona I’m not an idiot, I understand how this website works. For one, I never mentioned people going off topic in the comments. I don’t care about that and I never complained about it so don’t bother bringing it up. Also you said that the site is to “make fun of the stupid, illiterate, racist, ignorant, and uneducated”. I never said it wasn’t. It’s when people complain about the quality of the posts that annoys me. Lamebook can only post what they are submitted and if people don’t like the quality of the posts, they should fuck off or shut up.

  51. I would assume the creators of the site have a choice in what to post or NOT to post. I thought they could politely decline a submission or just not even put it up.

  52. Yes, of course they have a choice. But obviously what I meant was no one should complain about the quality of the posts because Lamebook can only choose to post out of what they are submitted.

  53. What does ‘>_>;’ mean? It appears to be a Wolverine winking while wearing a large earring…
    Under, I tend to agree. Except when the person amuses me like Hobo generally does.

  54. I understand underthesea.
    mad2, it’s an emoticon to show a smug or sarcastic look. the ; is to add nervousness or frustration. For example, ^^; is a nervous happy face. -.-; would be an angry frustrated face.

    Am I really giving lessons on emoticons? >.<\ *closing your eyes whilst face palming*

  55. Who designed these emoticons? Picasso? The forehead and mouth are not oriented properly relative to one another!

  56. Noo..the . is supposed to be a nose. Damn adults these days, being noobs.

  57. Yes, so you have eyebrow-nose-eyebrow-mouth. Thus, Picasso!

  58. *smiles and laughs* Damnit.

  59. LOL Picasso.. I, too, use the >_> facial expression but mine are minus the anime semicolons for frustration effect… I might be too old and crotchety for anime emoticons :)

    Hmmm except for my dancing Kirby…

    <(._.<) (>._.)>

    Sorry, seriously the Kindergarten class today got me all hyper and riled up today… lol

  60. …See… I’m even forming Kindergarten-like sentences.. BLAH

    Excuse the extra use of the word today in that last one, please :)

  61. You’re a Kindergarten teacher? Or a TA? I bet they’re just a giant bundle of adorable-ness.

  62. But see, the dancing Kirby at least looks like dancing Kirby.
    Speaking of Kirby, if you ever want to waste 2-3 hours watching an interesting live-action Nintendo story involving Princess Toadstool fucking Mario and Luigi, Samus working as a stripper, and Mario being a drug addict, google ‘There Will be Brawl.’ The acting is sub-par for a few of the characters but for being a totally indie production it is quite good.

  63. @mad2 – I appreciate your sympathy. :)
    Your wife sounds a little bit like my dad. He’s been in two accidents (thankfully very minor but still) in the past 6 years but yet would still not allow anyone else to drive his car but him (especially since it’s the newest of the 3 we have). Yet he had no problem taking my mom’s car whenever he wished… but complained if she (or anyone else) wanted to use his. :/
    To make matters worse, though… my mom, who has NEVER been in any kind of accident until recently, did use his car for the first time a couple months ago and hit the neighbor’s car backing out of our retarded driveway. Again, nothing major, no one hurt… a bit funny and ironic all around. In the end, I think dad’s car is just cursed for some reason. Haha.
    And I love B-more but yeah, it’s a shithole sometimes, in some places. Beer ‘n’ crabs is our thing, though, but I’m not crazy about either really. I feel like I should be disowned by MD. *lol*

    I don’t care much for the Japanese emotes (and don’t know specifically what most of them are though I get the general ideas of most of them) but… Squee @ dancing Kirby!!!

  64. wait wtf..?. testing…

    :) = : )
    :D = : D

    Are they the same? If so, why? o.O

  65. Oh… nvm then. but : ) is still a little TOO cheery in appearance imo *shrug* stupid not-being-able-to-delete-own-comments … thing. I go away now.

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