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Meet your new obsession: Kayleigh, also known as “Kaely” or “Breezy”.
Keep your mouth closed unless an opportunity of a male member presents itself to you. Do not listen to rumours but judge my actions for yourself.
I am currently single; although many things trouble me, I do not have a boyfriend to worry about.
Would you like to go on a date with me? Sorry, but I’m out of your league and have a reputation to uphold.
I am amazed by the fact that many of my actions are unpredictable. I may be small, but I have won a few fights, probably because I am not worried if I get hurt.
It irritates me when other people slander my name, I can tell when people are lying and it makes me angry. If you have a problem with me, I would rather you addressed the issue to my face instead of talking behind my back.
I can guarantee that you are a woman of ill repute, and I will punch you extremely hard for no reason. I smoke marijuana but I do not take any other drugs. I have been known to experience extreme mood swings, psychopathic and stalkerish tendencies.
My words and actions may shock you, but when I am happy, you will smile too – I have that effect on people. I am an imbecile, and utter such idiocies you will never be able to wipe from your memory. I drink too much and usually end up in a pile of vomit (hopefully my own) at the end of a night out.
I frequently make fun of others, but if you do not appreciate bullying then you should stay away from my social media page.
I am a misogynist and feel threatened by others of the same sex. Women are cruel and do not uphold a good reputation. I also have trust issues, and prefer my own company for fear of getting hurt. I am emotionally stunted and cannot handle any situation that requires empathy.
I do not care what other people think of me, as long as they do think about me. I am not dependent on anybody and fear emotional intimacy. You cannot make an impression on my life. When people say mean things about me, I am not insulted, but entertained. If you try to take advantage of me, you will be making a mistake, because I am an expert in taking what I want and delivering cutting remarks.
I have cultural identity and self esteem issues. When I am in a relationship, I submit completely to a man, but before you approach me I would advise that you find out more about me, as I have been in trouble with the police many times.
Whether or not I have been good or bad to you, I will stay in your memory for these rest of your life; I am unique, crazy, and mean, and will leave you questioning your sanity.
I was born in 1994, am writing this in 2010, and reserve the right to ownership of this autobiography.