Monday, December 28, 2009

Lame Lovers



previous post: Stereo Typing



  1. I don’t know what’s worse, expressing your true love via a crappy Aerosmith song, or ripping off your pet names for each other from Monsters, Inc. I guess the worst thing is that I instantly got both references.

  2. “I had to listen to a five minute discussion on which one is
    actually called shmoopy.”

  3. Oh PLEASE. I don’t think “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” sucks as a song, but as a means of expressing your feelings… I’d probably dump the guy on the spot.

  4. Honestly, I hope neither of the girls involved here are hoping to start a family with either of these guys…they’re never going to reproduce without testicles.

  5. What he needs is a good beating.

    What she needs is a good raping.

  6. Wow — that was some long-winded bullshit right there.
    People like Amy and Russ should be shot in the face and left for dead in an isolated forest.

  7. Nerdy Nerdenstein

    Everyone knows that you get china on the 1.916 Anniversary. AWKWARD

  8. What is wrong with these people? WTF.

  9. Who the hell celebrates 1.916 years of being together? I barely can keep up with regular 1, 2, 3…etc years.


  10. Hey, if they can do the math, more power to them.

  11. Only one of them has demonstrated any mathematical ability. Russ just repeats the numbers Amy says.

  12. On Lamebook, I’ll take what I can get.

  13. Mere mortals won’t understand the significance of 1.75, 1.83 and 1.916 anniversaries. You have to be a Schmoopsie Poo.

  14. I am really impressed she could do the math, actually.

  15. We need a testicle transplant for Russ, stat.

  16. defiantly.

  17. Reading this made me rethink my opinion on gun control in America…

  18. Ahahahaha Nor FTW!

  19. I don’t think I had ever seen a sweating, licking smiley before. I guess that would be the best one to defiantly express your love though.

  20. Squid took the goddamn words out of my mouth.

  21. Really.

  22. Chris is so fucking lame. Dude quoting a love song (even if it is from Aerosmith) to your stalkee is just plain fucking sad!

    I had to vomit and kick a puppy after reading Russ’s posts. Grow a pair of testicles and man the fuck up you fucking female hippy!

    @djgbarry: LMAO, touche` brother, touche`!

    I’m going to call bullshit on the numbers. There is a pattern where the first decimal number increases by one unit each interval, and the second decimal number decreases by two units each interval. The last number (1.916) she has thrown in the number 6 to throw off the possibility occurring to Russ that she is implementing a pattern that holds no value to their relationship. She is trying to sound smart, and she more than likely is, but she gives Russ too much credit.

  23. People like this are only like this because they have a audience. Facebook gives them one. A unwilling one that would rather eat a gun then celebrate their love.

  24. By my calculations, Russ and Amy have just celebrated their 2.00 (3sf) year anniversary yesterday. I wonder what their wall comments would have been like.

    On a brighter note, I like how Chris’ picture is blurred.

  25. Is the world becoming dumber? Why is it that over the last two years people have lost the ability to know whether THAN or THEN should be used in their sentence?

  26. @25 If you are talking about me: I have enough issues with your and you’re. Quit busting the balls I dont have. Also I never claimed to be brilliant and as long as 90% is spelled correctly and it sorta makes sense I hit the submit button. And really is your life so without meaning that something that insignificant bothers you? Im sorry like sucks so hard for you.

  27. how fucking stupid!

  28. I think I’m gonna throw up. Stupid lovey dovey shit makes me sick!

  29. the second one is clearly a joke.

  30. I would love to take a pic of me doing Amy and post it on Russ wall and say “guess she loves my 7.5 more”

  31. Don, you really shouldn’t say things like that without specifying units. As it is, I doubt anyone will be impressed with your 7.5 mm.

  32. why do people post this lovey dovey shit? like anyone wants to see it. guarantee 3 months from now they’ll be screaming at each other thru facebook

  33. 1.75, 1.83, 1.916 hahahahaha

  34. Oh lord. They probably learned to do fractions at school the day this shit started… and then Amy forgot how to do them as Insane pointed out, because her last insert doesn’t make any logical sense.

    Just as it isn’t making sense for me to be analyzing it like this… :| Time to get coffee… this is going to be a long day…

  35. Holy crap, I never thought you could butcher a song so horribly without even singing it… I stand corrected.

  36. what the gay?

  37. What the gay indeed.


  38. mmmbbBUUUUICK!

  39. Googley bear ? Schmoopsie Poo?

    I really hope it’s a fake one.

  40. this is incredibly sexy and arousing pillow talk.

  41. The only poistive thing that I can say about Russ and Amy’s conversation is that they sometimes capitalize…


    The above posts are proof positive that love is not only blind but infinately stupid.

    Pardon me while I puke.

  43. ah crap, thought I fixed the infinitely in time.

  44. chris is hilarious omg i think i would die laughing if someone sent that to me… and im pretty sure russ and amy were just trying to gross people out… at least i hope so!

  45. Chris should defiantly EABOD.

  46. I lolled and lolled and lolled when I found out what EABOD meant!! Chinchillazilla ftw!

  47. Now do sweet emotion!

  48. @gentlefury: No! “Walk This Way”!

  49. Pardon me… **VOMIT** much better..

  50. @39 this is not fake. i’m actually FB friends with Russ and came upon this lovely little entry from a completely unrelated friend. i’m really glad someone who could see their wall to wall posted this!

  51. @24 … he proposed on the 2 year anniversary.

  52. beautifuldisasterxo

    hahaha wtf, i have trouble remember the years let alone the exact time period.. clearly these two don’t have much of a life

  53. Antartic Circle FTW. I’m laughing so damn hard.

  54. I think…I just sicked a little.

  55. gavomit

  56. The most retarded attempt at romance I’ve ever seen.

  57. girlfriendisbetter

    These are some pretty harsh remarks coming from people who don’t even know them. At least they’re happy…more than I can say for a lot of people in this world today.

  58. girlfriendisbetter

    Honestly, these comments are sick.

  59. …….anyone notice that the sickeningly sweet nicknames are frm Monsters Inc? Yeah. Monsters fuckin’ Inc.

  60. @Bunny
    Hell yeah, I noticed that, too. They are excused from being mushy dolts because it’s MONSTERS FUCKIN’ INC. They have gained Pixar nerd respect from me.

  61. apparantly the easiest way to get vaginaplasty is just to post innane comments on facebook

  62. Permission to shoot them.

  63. oh man, i just got puke on my computer!

  64. wtf. they totally stole those names from Monsters Inc. & actually decimal point anniversaries??? you’re kidding!

  65. I just puked all over my keyboard.

  66. Great. I think I’m diabetic after reading that.

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