Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Keyboarding 101

Keyboarding 101

Keyboarding 101

previous post: What a Boy Wants, What a Boy Needs



  1. What the fuckqx.

  2. Wut… o.o

  3. Translation for the lost:
    Raven: LOL, I seen somebody stupid sexy today! Anyways, get at me, finnuh get off Facebook.

    -iLadyy (really?) :’s saying, shower, phone/ movie, bed, school, get up and go day! Yay for Homecoming week-time to break out my world famous onesie. Lmao, by the way-everybody add my other page, Ms. Blondie Bby’Millz. Chat or Skype (need the name? ask.) later, Facebookers!

    I think that my head just exploded.

  4. wow…i wonder how many brain cells i killed by reading this

  5. Ok, so shark has jumped (no shit), FB has turned into Bebo. Inevitable, not lame in and of itself.

  6. This makes me want to cry…

  7. This is not how language should evolve. Shouldn’t there be less characters?

  8. i weep for our future.

  9. AG, thanks for the translation because I really had no idea what the hell they said.

  10. I read a story the other day that gave the author’s impression on what would happen if text speak became prevalent and our language slowly “de-evolved” to primitive grunts.

    I just never thought it would happen so fast.

  11. WTF, was she having a seizure as she typed this?

    Its a little disturbing her friend understood her enough to actually respond.

  12. when did q and g become interchanqeable?

  13. I for one am always very impressed when a Facebook user “likes” their own status update.

  14. g and q are not interchangeable here – q has replaced g completely – one wonders if these people would replace q with g were they to use words with g in them?

    What I really don’t understand about people who write like this is how they understand one another – and if they’re capable of using such a baroque orthography, why they failed to master the accepted English spelling system.

  15. wut

  16. Is she saying she is a baby mill? That can’t be good for the gene pool.

  17. I’m 12 years old and wot is this?

  18. What the hell has happened to the world?

  19. I really hope Raven didn’t write down the stoopid sexci guy’s address down.. she’ll _never_ find it next week :D

  20. Menace to Society

    I could read Dante’s post, but still didn’t understand it.

  21. I wonder what it is like to speak with these people.

  22. “I wonder what it is like to speak with these people.”

    I would imagine something like this:

  23. There is not enough profanity in me to express how I feel about these people.

    Jesus Christ.

  24. I have a suspicion that these people only use that highly elided version of English when texting or making quick posts. However, when I tried to read that, my eyes just slided right off it.

    Slid? Slided? Slode?

  25. Good lord, that second one looked like machine code! I thought I was back to reading one of those early 80s magazines that would put BASIC lists of programmes for you to labouriously type in.

  26. I hope the stupid Homecoming bitch gets strangled by her ‘world famous One-Sie’ (what the fuck? Don’t only babies wear onesies?? Oh yeah, sorry, she is B’by Mllz). Otherwise, she may live to reproduce, and the cycle will never be broken.

    Please, natural selection, start kicking in.

  27. i hate anybody who likes their own status. automatically. even if its my mom… but i don’t think she’d do that

  28. @TB – I watched that video. Lord help us.

  29. Why in the hell would anyone have MULTIPLE Facebook accounts? -iLadyyyqq,,, doesn’t even deserve one, let alone two, by the looks of things.

  30. Wow sharkbot your stupid shit. On facebook you can like your own statuses you don’t have to have two accounts. WOW

  31. Wow, HelloHannah, you’re a bitch who likes to put other people down for making mistakes. WOW

  32. @30. It’s not that she liked it with another account, she actually TOLD everybody to add her other account…

  33. Sharkbot didn’t even make a mistake?
    HelloHannah is clearly just a bitch for no reason

  34. Actually Che its okay he didnt make a mistake, HelloHannah did. iLady was telling ppl to add her other facebook page too, implying she has more than one.

  35. HelloHannah, she says “add my other page”, that’s why people are assuming she has 2 accounts. “Wow” indeed.

  36. You guys beat me to it! That’ll teach me to get distracted while reading replies.


  38. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK??????!!!
    If there was any life left in my body after reading this I would be basking in a warm glow of intellectual righteousness.
    Sadly, this retard has sapped me of all will to live.

  39. We should hire these people to write code to hide from the Russians.

    Patrick Swayze you will be avenged!!!!

  40. Wow, HelloHannah. You’re just as dumb as your website.

  41. We’re not giving these girls enough credit. Masochists often feel awkward asking loved ones to hurt them; this method allows them a free punch in the face without any of the shame. Genius.

  42. What is the world coming to?

    The world will end in the year 2012 because someone is going to create a nuclear bomb and the only way to disarm it will be to correctly spelled 20 commonly used English words.

  43. lolsx

  44. WTF??? Can anyone understand what she’s written or is it just me that can’t???

  45. It’s that little “(need the name? ask.)” that’s like a bit of sense in a world of static. It’s slightly jarring

  46. Wow, so that’s how you tongue type ? After reading that status update…suddenly blindness loses it’s sting.

    Just for fun, paste the update into Narrator on XP…dear god.

  47. @HelloHannah

    “Wow” HelloHannah, “your stupid shit”.

    It seems that you’RE in fact “stupid shit”. Which, by the way, does not make any sense.

    By the way, if you’RE going to belittle someone’s intelligence, then you at least need to be able to prove your own intelligence first. You fucking idiot.

    Go die somewhere.

  48. Lol… flamebook! :-)

    Should it be “Go and die somewhere” or is “Go die somewhere” ok? I just want to make sure it re-flame it correctly :-)

  49. Lol ..I.. *shakes head*

  50. Christ on a bike, this is lameness stripped bare.

    Dreamer, I think both are acceptable.

  51. This makes me want to take sandpaper to both my eyeballs then pour a vat of salt into each.

    One has to wonder exactly what the aptitude of the offenders would be when given to learning a genuine foreign language – you’d imagine they’d have that business nailed…

    Je suisss un poissonnsx LOLERZ.

    My particular favourite part is the interjection of ‘need the name? ask.’ – a tiny oasis of perfect spelling and punctuation in amongst a desert of things offensive to the human eye.

  52. if you’re after some english, avoid lamebook and try this: http://www.gutenberg.org/files/2600/2600-h/2600-h.htm

  53. For the last one, is that “Miss Blondie Baby Mills” she typed there? UGH. There goes a little more of my paycheck to pay someone else’s welfare.

  54. @7 Yes you’re right – there should be _fewer_ characters…

  55. I pray to God that English is not their first language.

  56. I don’t get this. Isn’t it easier to just to type it properly than to type that non sense?

  57. What in the shit is wrong with these people?

  58. That’s So Raven!

  59. I couldn’t understand why happyhannah was having a pop at someone for not being able to understand the intricacies of facebook until I looked at her website.

    Good Lord people, we’re being infiltrated by the Spazinate….

  60. Fucking KILL THESE PEOPLE. I am completely serious…

  61. personally, you all are people that don’t have fun and are VERY uppity!
    maybe you should try walking around WITHOUT your heads stuck up your asses!
    and Dr Forrester, go kill your damn self!!

    Have a qreat Day!


  62. Okay, Stoopid. You have a Qreat Day, too.

  63. Will DO!


  64. stupid kneegrows

  65. you racist bitch!
    that comment definitely was NOT needed!

  66. I am truly worried for the generation in high school. The U.S. is screwed.


    Translation please? lol

  68. what language is this???

  69. Seriously, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!

  70. Lol @ Hannah. I love the “WOW” at the end, as if everyone should know some detail like that about Facebook on this site of all sites..

  71. are those words?

  72. Dear God. Even her name.. “iLadyy” ? This is truly sad.

  73. Isn’t it easier to type normally than to [typee awll thaat bullshxt that pplx awlwaysz tyyp 'n the qood shxt lolsx]?

    Anyone remember her?

  74. On a not entirely unrelated note, @30 HelloHannah: I don’t recommend linking your website on your comments. Just.. no.


  76. Thats not even bloody English,

  77. I’m so glad AG translated this.

    These people are unbelievable.

  78. for things like this people prefer to study chinese

  79. i really like it when people type there g’s like q’s it excites me sometimes.

  80. I need a Rosetta stone with one side written in stupid… Seriously, English is my third language and even I can make more sense than that!

  81. illiterate fucks!

  82. I thought these were drunk status updates at first…
    When your cool way of typing becomes entirely illegible, and looks like it was written by some near-comatose drunk, you know something’s wrong…

  83. Reading this makes me want to slap them across the face.



  85. i took a picture of stoopidphreshh’s post and started http://www.lamelamebook.com with it

  86. I like how -iLadyy would lose a spelling bee to a bowl of alphabet soup… but can still say “(need the name? ask.)”

  87. Nice name pixeling, surly there can’t be many “-iLady’s” out there.

  88. It’s one thing to converse with friends in your own familiar jargon, but when there’s evidence those who write this way can do no better in the real world it’s truly sad. We’re recruiting at work. We’ve had submissions by email that read along the lines of “im intrestd in ur job i can wrk alot of hrs 4u lol”.

  89. its like some bizarre programming language of retardation

  90. This overwrought texting bullshit is apparently the creative styling of the subculture known as “Scene Kids.” You can Google that yourself. If you think this is bad, wait til you find out just how unbelievably retarded the rest of their schtick is. It’s the bastard offspring of Emo and Goth, only much more self-involved and with bigger hair.

  91. oh dear god

  92. Dear StoopidPhreshh,
    I’m going to need you to take it down a couple notches with your comments. you say that it’s not that serious to be commenting on, yet you continue to comment on it. Saying that these people have their ‘heads up their asses’ and they should go fuck themselves. How about you go fuck YOURself. The people who made these statuses seem to be resorting back to the primitive stage of human evolution. As are you, because you can’t spell stupid or fresh. So why don’t you go back to school, or read a book then get back to me. Okay? And as for these people ‘having fun’ where as people who speak an actual language do not. I say nay. You might be slightly retarded. I don’t know when publicly making yourself look like an idiot/neanderthal became cool. Guess i missed that memo. So yea…go fuck yourself. (:

  93. You are my hero. <3

  94. Well I actually believe that what everyone is mistking for a conversation between 2 complete fukwits is in reality cats dancing on the keyboard.

  95. To AG,
    I don’t know how you did it, but I’m impressed!

  96. I lost brain cells.

    Thanks, Raven.

  97. I read the first one as if it was Welsh – all dd’s pronounced as ‘th’ sound etc. Even more fun!

  98. I fucking know this girl!!!! I made fun of her today, and she said she was gonna get her boyfriend to beat my ass. God fucking bless detroit.

  99. wow… i think its a whole new languedge…
    thanks #3 for the translation… :)

    though i’m still a little confused :P lol- my head may explode along with yours! :)

  100. @AG, #3:

    Thank you for showing me that I’m not the only one who can understand crap like that. I was starting to think there was something wrong with me…

  101. @AG: Thanks. You saved me with that translation. It was a worthy cause. Now we all know what retards some people really are.
    Even with the translation it was still utter crap.

  102. Should people like this even be allowed to live?

  103. Jennifer (yes, really)

    We have to do something about the kids these days, guys. I realized about five years ago that I was falling off the Cool Wagon when everything on what used to be my go-to radio station started to sound like absolute shit. Since then, my favorite stores have degenerated into loud, neon nightmares. Sincerely? NEON? Now I know why there was such a backlash when all things ’70′s became re-popularized when I was in school. Why is it that the young ones feel it necessary to shit all over the written English language? Apathy of the gen-Xers has transformed into something entirely different for this batch, and I fear where it’s headed for the next one. I am thirty-one fucking years old. I’m too young to be made to feel this un-cool by a bunch of snot-nosed emo whining cutters with no appreciation for literature or the rules of syntax and grammar.

    I can haz ed-joo-mah-CAY-shunz!!Clazz2014w00t!

    Shoot me now. Please. *taps left temple* Right here.

  104. Kids these days? Why do you feel such a need to stereotype an entire generation? I’m 19 years old. I have friends between the ages of 14-22, and trust me, none of them talk (or update Facebook) like this. Instead of this being about age, I think it’s more about background and culture. Low-income areas, like the one I came from, have no money to teach and inforce grammar, syntax, spelling. They don’t have the resources to keep these kids in school indefinately, and most of them don’t want to learn and end up dropping out anyway.

    Also, emo whining cutters can actually end up being some of the most enlightened, intelligent, and well-read people in high school. Again, knock off the stereotypes. I know an emo guy who can carry on an informed and intellectual debate on the various forms of government. Yes, there are a lot of annoying, superficial, ‘I do this for the attention’ types, but generally, people who cut have problems. Whether you consider them problems or not, they are serious to that person, and that’s something that shouldn’t be dismissed.

    One last note: You’re being made to feel uncool by people who can’t make a complete, coherent sentence? Lame. Honestly, these people make me feel great, knowing that I’ll make it farther than them in life. You’re thirty-one years old. Grow up and stop worrying about how cool you are or what the hip thing is now.

  105. I’d like to agree with number 104. Just throwing that out there. (And I never comment on these things, I usually find it to be a waste of time.)

    Maybe you should go back to high school for a day to see what our generation is really like, instead of looking at sites like this, where they only put up the worst of the worst. Honestly, putting up your opinion of all of us off of this one post makes you seem like an ignorant, dumb, thirty one year old. You should consider how well you’re representing your generation before you make comments like this.

    Do you feel that I have shit all over the English language by posting this comment?

  106. @103: So what you’re saying is that you’d feel cool if you shat all over the English language in your Facebook updates? Because that’s a little on the pathetic, please-go-kill-yourself-for-Darwin side, especially for an alleged thirty one year old. I’ll admit that there are morons in my generation, but there are just as many morons in yours and you’re proving to be one of them.

  107. @100-106

    “Coolness” is something that varies and is a completely different notion for each group.

    @103You might be cool amongst your fellow 30yo.
    Why would you even want to be considered cool in the midst of 17yo. This would most likely mean you’re an idiot.

    @104 “Inforce” is not a word. Also “enforce”, is not suitable for what you want to say, man. Grammar is not enforced.

    “Syntax and grammar are enforced to rich kids.” Via vaccination??!

  108. The addition of “sx” to LOL seems to be how she seriously thinks that is how you spell it. LOL… How can you spell 3 letters wrong. This is the exact reason nerds should stay nerds and never mix with the “cool” “gangsta” people… I weep for humanity

  109. *VOMITS*

  110. @41 – Hahaha, you’re brilliant.

    And I was so sure Ladyy was just trying to type with a cat walking on her keyboard, because that is EXACTLY what that looks like.

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