I found Ashely via ‘youropenbook.org’, and it looks like she updated her supplementary post to read:
im fucked…i have cops everywhere lookin for me. i took mike truck to get away from him and the next thing i know i hit a tree and 4 cars one of which was a cop car. not to mention i ran someone over. god im so upset and scared i have to turn myself in but worry about my kids. mikes divorcing me. plus i still have that dv charge i have to deal with in sept. they r going for grand theft auto. property damage. leaving the scene of an accident. and causing great body harm with a vehicel. can u say totally fucked?!?!
Has it occurred to you posters that you may be causing great emotional turmoil by ridiculing the male use of Ashley? It’s a common male name, at least common enough that there are about 5000 dudes out there now questioning their sexuality because of these comments.
Ashley. Yes, the Ashley who just banged your wife. And yes, she enjoyed it. Thanks for asking.
I didn’t know there was a “man threshold” for the comments page and I’m sorry I don’t qualify. This weekend I plan a hearty camping and fishing exercise, aimed at improving my percentage.
I’m not called Ashley, but I wont turn my nose up at the odd strap-on (see above-mentioned “man threshold” issue). We will get along just fine! I was just making a point. Perhaps too strongly hmmm…
yaaaaaaaah so I really didn’t mean to tangle anyones underwear here. I guess no one noticed that I’m making fun of Ashley used as a male name when….. I’m female….. and my screen name is SidneyBunny… Sidney spelled the way it is most commonly used for males (instead of the female Sydney) …… No? nobody thought that was odd? hmm… ok
I don’t believe that guy for a second….Come on 1000? Reminds me of the guy on Howard Stern that said he preferred to have sex with dolphins instead of humans….. not buying it. And if that guy really did have sex with that many cars than he is a raging whore in my book! Show some restraint buddy. )
I do enjoy this thread. It goes from batshit insane actual facebook story to man-whores, strap-ons, truckers, and banging a yeti, possibly a yeti in lingerie. I think there’s a Kool Keith song about that somewhere. Or if not, there should be.
it was after i’d moved to wisconsin from berlin, as a young german girl.
it was a stiflingly hot summer in ’78, and i was working at a gas stop. when i went outside for a cigarette i had to be a long way from the gas, so i’d go and sit by the truck lot out back. this one time i saw something moving in one of the cabs, on closer inspection, i saw someone had left their baby yeti in the cab, and it was almost suffocating in the heat and seemed to be in some distress. i turned around to hail a passer-by for help, but a big hairy arm covered my mouth and bundled me into the cab.
it’s too hard to talk about the rest. i hummed ‘deutschland deutschland über alles’ quietly to myself the whole time from the moment he peeled off my dress to try and block out the ordeal. i can’t hear that song now without breaking down. which means i can’t go to oktoberfest or watch the olympics (two of my favorite things).
i heard this guy went on using the yeti trick through the whole mid-west with plenty of other girls before he got caught. i just sometimes wonder, ‘why me?’ but i’m trying to rebuild my life. i’ve set up a bat sanctuary, moved away to oklahoma, and i make a good living harvesting and selling batshit on the side.
i don’t ask for belief, just a little understanding, walter. it’s been a hard life.
now if you’ll excuse me, i’m literally up to my knees in batshit – every hour you leave it after it’s been pooped knocks a dollar off the market price, so i have to get scooping! batshit has to be fresh, you see – the fresher the better.
Latest drama update from Ashley (yeah, they could base a tv story on this one!)
wow mike go fuck urself. u wanna pick that skank bitch over ur pregnant wife?!?! wutever then have that nasty OLD ass bitch. dont try to come crawlin back like always cause this time i wont take u. I WANT A FUCKIN DIVORCE!!!
bwhahaha, as if mike was really going to continue on with a pyscopath about to go to jail !