#2 Shay should realize that in God’s eyes, masturbation is every bit the sin as cheating on your spouse or sleeping with a prostitute (or member of the same sex).
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.”
Instead of of sinning and spilling his seed, Shay should pray for the strength to overcome his sexual urges. Specifically, he should look at Romans 6:11-14:
“…Do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master for you are not under law but under grace….”
Something tells me that Shay is the victim of the liberal Hollywood media filling his mind with thoughts of lewd and prurient acts and glorifying sexual impurity. That or maybe he goes to one of the schools with President Obama’s new sex ed classes where they teach 1st graders how to use condoms and how homosexuals have anal intercourse.
The herpes one vaguely reminds me of the Seinfeld episode about “the tractor story,” wherein a girl, as dumb as the subject of William’s status update, believes she got gonorrhea from riding a tractor in her swimsuit. Because her boyfriend told her so.
Have you played some of the wii games they have out now? A few of them involve the jerking motion already. I think one is like Wario’s gold grab? Or something.. you have to shake your wii stick to get the gold out of the bag.
Actually, in some myths of creation Gods did masturbate to create life. Can’t be entirely 100% sure but I believe it was an African myth (I read this about 8 or 9 years ago in an anthology that I borrowed from my Catholic school library).