Friday, December 18, 2009

Just Don’t Reply

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115 Comments

  1. Fuck me naked this guy is lame!

  2. Prince Mishkin, we’ve been through this…

  3. Well played Aaron.

  4. Nobody has ever friend rquested me that way. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

  5. Aaron has got to be without any shadow of doubt one of the worst cock gobbling wank merchants I have ever seen or heard of.

    This being said he does have the unenviable task of juggling two demanding jobs. Hitman and Lady Licker are both very stressful roles and this may be why he’s burnt out a little. Take a Holiday Aaron!

  6. Aaron has 1 mutual friend hmm… I’d freak out if one of my friends accepted his friend request!

  7. Well Liam you giant douche. I have a feeling that you were Rong.

  8. Added Aron to the “retarded friend of friends” list.

  9. The passion was in the air. The Caribbean air was humid and the waves were crashing gently on the beach. There she was, standing there…”So hey, I just want to start by introducing myself I am happy to say my name is Aaron” — these were her first words to me. I nearly buckled. “I am very happy to hear your name is Aaron, Aaron.” She mentioned how she was 24 years old single. I didn’t know what she meant by that, but I assume it meant she was only 24 years old. Not a double (48) or a half (12).

    “I also wanted to tell you I think you are smoking” she said…”No, I don’t smoke. Sorry” Then she said something about getting hurt but I was still wondering why she thought I smoked. I knew she was a badass because of the gang signs she threw out. But I knew she also had a heart of gold because of the emo-hearts I saw on her bottom right corner.

    Then, not long after, another woman named Liam came and interrupted our passionate conversation. It was like a dream on the beach–two young romantic ladies, both trying to seduce me with their smooth-talk and charm. Liam was a little slow, it seemed. His conversations were pretty incoherent. But once she gave me a Dont Deny Yourself — act now! I was sold. It reminded me of my past loves (before the operation)–Billy Mays, and my former fiancee, Vince Offer. I did love his nuts. I did.

    Liam, you had me at ‘kinda broke my leg’ — so eloquent. So mysterious.

  10. Good thing people call him a nice guy…what if they called him a bad one?…shudder

  11. Well, he’s happy to say his name is Aaron. That’s good.
    He’s what people call a ‘nice guy’…sounds great to me.
    Uhh, then he says he’s “the meanest, the baddest you’ll ever know in this planet”…AND he’s a hitman apparently (probably shouldn’t be advertising that around)…also kicks ‘real’ ass (as opposed to the fake ass out there). Aaron is also a ‘fucker’, and occasionally enjoys tossing up random hand signs as his display pic to bait women and show them his ‘baddest’ side..yes Aaron, I think we’ve had enough of the introduction.

    Do women fall for this kind of garbage?

  12. yes, they are women.

  13. oh and I am stoked that anonisgay is back.

  14. @kal-no,they don’t.
    Back in my day menfolk used the pony express to hit on us badly.
    This newfangled internet stuff-*shakes head*.

  15. Liam if you are wrong, and by the way you are, you’ve just left yourself open to the most exquisite blackmail opportunities from Sara. You broken-legged, hobbling, spazz.

    Aaron, when you get locked up for pretending to be a hitman, you will meet a big, hairy, sweaty, tattooed man with a hormone imbalance in prison who will make you his bitch and take full advantage of your licking and fcuking skills.

    I hope these are real and not frapes.

  16. Thanks to both Aaron and Liam , guys like you make it easier for the rest of us.

    keep up the good work !

  17. And why is Aaron pulling a ‘two-in-the-pink, one-in-the-stink’ hand sign? Not the most sophisticated seduction gambit.

  18. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    What girl wouldn’t be bowled over by a guy who was a part time hitman, part time lady licker?

    I’m his.

  19. LOL @ Mercure
    He’s what us people call a ‘nice guy’ remember? Even though he’s a hitman (the next Richard Kuklinski) and lady licker. Does that include morbidly obese/ugly/old women too? I would think so.

  20. @Mercure: Even for a ‘part time’ lady licker he is demonstrating poor technique…I myself would suggest the ‘Star Trek’ as the pre-eminent method when choosing to emply hand gestures that represent your lady licking calibre. Also, the Silent Duck technique ertainly warrants a mention here, though I believe that would be neglecting the ‘stink’.

  21. AnonisGay FTW!! You should write a book, I would buy fo’ sho’

  22. Hope Liam’s significant other gets a chance to see that message. Sara’s too, for that matter.

  23. WOW

    what would we do without you americans? there would be only half the fun in the world! I love how you 300 million psycho’s just keep on producing these douchebags, idiots, sluts, extremists, capitalists etc. The USA is indeed the largest group of totally ignorant selfish bastards, and yes you are all bastards, ever known to man.

    thank you americans for being so entertaining.

    now go fuck yourselfes

  24. I couldn’t agree with you more Father Sha.

    @Mercure

    Did you notice he’s doing it wrong too? I don’t think he’s used one finger let alone a full shocker… Unless you count the astroglide and his back door

  25. @ Koobamel

    WOW. You are trying to insult the Americans. Try insulting yourselfes. Douchebag.

    Oh, and by the way, English isn’t my mother tongue either.

  26. It doesn’t matter how sincere you are you still look crazy and like a douche. Liam really meant what he said…..to have that feeling and those BALLS! Bah ha ha ha Douche.

  27. On second thought he prolly told her he broke his leg so she would know he is on pills and will say anything!

  28. @Svetlana

    He’s just angry that he can no longer maintain an erection… Happens to the worst of us

  29. These are pathetic.

    @koobamel

    416 is the area code for Toronto, albeit I consider them miniature Americans just giving the rest of Canada a bad name. Nevertheless, you fail.

  30. @ Svetlana

    haha… you’re name is svetlana

  31. @pnkntndr

    LOL – seriously? Yeah, that does kind of have erectile disfunction written all over it, hey? mmm :|

  32. @ Koobamel
    I like your assumption he’s from the US when there’s a long list of other countries he could be from. Nice reasoning to bash the US, you self righteous, narrow-minded, douchebag.

  33. Aaron looks like the typical middle class wannabe gangster coming from a all white former mormon community in Utah

    If you have to repeat that you are mean , bad and pose as a weird al yankovich version of a rapper …

    Then bring it on beatch :-)

  34. @ Koobamel – Haha! It’s cause I am from Russia, douchebag.

  35. @ Koobamel: YEEE HAW! It’s talk like that that will get you invaded! Where do you live, any oil there?

  36. “dont worry I wont force u just slip u a roofie lol!

    He’d make me squirm, alright. EWOOOO!

  37. @ BYOS

    you’re american right?

  38. @Koobamel – Where is the comment of BYOS??

    WOW. Now everybody is wondering… :|

  39. liam, you dirty dog.

  40. I read that as “hitman and lady Kicker”. Guess the violence got to me.

  41. @Svetlana
    Koobamel is just being his typical lazy, fat, ignorant self. Instead of typing out the person’s full name, he used the first initials. I think he was talking to BringYourOwnSun.

  42. Oi, @kal – appears you are correct. He’s probably never heard of copy/paste…

  43. @Svetlana

    …or education.

  44. ROFLMAO – Touché kal. Touché.

  45. That is it everybody! I am going home… It’s been hard day for me, hopefully all will go well this weekend with my last 2 shows for the year! :) xx

  46. Svetlana i think i love you !

  47. @CBT Santa – that was random? But thanks… we’ll see in the near future just how much you think you love me… ;)

  48. I don’t want to piss off the moderators (who I assume are up in Austin?), but if you lived here in George Bush country you’d be more sympathetic to Koobamel

  49. Prince Mishkin, that doesn’t make any sense. Why would one be more sympathetic towards him if he’s insulting your country… He insulted my name, should I feel sorry for him? Once a douche, always a douche. I don’t feel sorry at all.

  50. @ Svetlana

    Your last 2 shows for the year? Does the stripclub close next week?

  51. @ Bart – I will only say this ONE LAST TIME. I AM NOT ANOREXIC enough to be swinging around poles! I am an artist across all levels. I sing, sketch, paint and write.

    So sorry, it must’ve been some other “Svetlana” you saw in the stripclub. Sad, cause there is only one me. And I am something else.

  52. So you’re too fat to be a stripper. You’re the cleaning lady than?

  53. So I guess you’re Aaron’s and/or Liam’s little brother, Bart, right?

  54. @Svet – I live in the most right-wing redneck republican racist place on the planet! But the moderators are in Austin, a tiny Athenian oasis in this vast Roman wilderness.

  55. I long to meet a nice hitman who’s really pleased about his name.

  56. Svetlana sucks lemons across from me,
    and I am progressing abominably.
    And I do not know my own way to the sea
    but the saltiest sea knows its own way to me.

    The city that turns, turns protracted and slow
    and I find myself toeing th’embarcadero
    and I find myself knowing the things that I knew
    which is all that you can know on this side of the blue

    And Jaime has eyes black and shiny as boots
    and they march at you, two-by-two (re – loo – re – loo);
    when she looks at you, you know she’s nowhere near through:
    it’s the hardest heart beating this side of the blue.

  57. @europe_rocks

    someone who starts flaming because of another person criticising Americans must be prepared to accept some insults hereself don’t you agree?

  58. @Mystery Goose: I did a bit of research to find out what ‘the silent duck’ is, and thanks for introducing me to a new hand gesture. Boy, is my missus in for a surprise tonight!

  59. bart – no i don’t *yawn*

  60. @Mercure – Give her a good ducking mate…

    I know, I know…terrible.

  61. Man, Aaron had me at that sweet sweet pickup line. Also, I hope the picture of the girl he’s friend requesting is actually her smoking a cigarette, and Aaron is just pointing out the obvious.

  62. whatevermajorloser

    If I got that message from liam, I would go ahead and break his other leg.
    Both those guys are major yuck!

  63. Just read the archives from last April, all my dooshy neighbors! There’s a reason Lamebook first caught fire here – b/c there’s no place lamer than Texas! We’re No. 1, period, no arguments!

  64. The Scarlet Pimple

    Geez. Did Liam ever attend school? And as for Aaron…just what the fuck.
    Also, Koobamel? Why don’t you go fuck yourself too. You know as well as I do that idiocy knows no borders. There have been plenty of British and Australian douchebags featured on lamebook before. Get off your America-hating soapbox, dickweed.

  65. Hell yeah, lame ass idiots everywhere, shoot. But the highest concentration is rycheer!

  66. This is a curious world we live in. A world where kickass sex machines like Aaron have to rely on random (or semi-random) facebook friend requests to try and get some action.

    We never see average or nerdy blokes having to go to these desperate lengths. As I said, curious.

  67. The Scarlet Pimple

    It’s true, @Prince Mishkin, that we have a good deal of stupidity, hypocrisy and meanness in this country of ours, but as an anthropologist I feel safe in saying that the same could be said of any group in any location.

    Also…I can make fun of my family all I want, but the second someone else starts in, I get the peculiar urge to punch him in the face. So, like I said before, GO FUCK YOURSELF, KOOBAMEL.

    Scarlet Pimple out.

  68. I was kinda hoping to pick a fight, maybe provoke one of my neighbors into posting “Hey, I’m Texas Proud!” (that’s an actual state-sponsored marketing campaign!). Then the Brits on here could ask, What part of speech is the word “proud” in that sentence? Remember how Dubya actually bragged about his cluelessness at cabinet meetings? Stupidity may be universal, but “No Place Else But Texas” are people PROUD of their dumbassedness! So, we’re Number 1, and I’ll punch in the face anyone who claims to live someplace MORE lame!

  69. The Scarlet Pimple

    I will let you have that one, Prince Mishkin.
    But remember, North Carolina has produced Charlie Daniels and NASCAR.

  70. Mystery Goose #35

    @ Koobamel: YEEE HAW! It’s talk like that that will get you invaded! Where do you live, any oil there?

    AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahaha yes!!! Thank you for having a sense of humor! This one made me laugh more than anyother, accept for the fact that I have actually recieved messages like this one….. eww

  71. Wow, I always think nothing will ever top Dubya. But I forgot about NASCAR . . . .

  72. Stop trash talking Texas. Just stop, it’s not funny or lame. Besides, Oklahoma is way worse than TX.

  73. …and don;t even get me started on Canada.

  74. I like how he opened with saying people would call him a nice guy, then tries to make himself out to be Mr. Big Shot.

    What people call a part-time hitman ass-kicker that refers to himself as the “meanest and baddest” guy who finds it appropriate to inform a woman he’s “one hell of a fucker” when he first introduces himself a “nice guy?”

  75. ginsbergcoverband

    I’m Sarah, note with an H. Just thought I’d point out the winky face after “i’m not guna force u”. I thought that was the most charming touch.

  76. Wouldn’t it be awesome if the girl you’re hitting on had just been previously hit-on by Liam and Aaron. It’d be like shooting fish in a barrel for even the nerdiest guy.
    The poor girl would be so desperate to reaffirm some kind of dignity and attraction to the opposite sex that she would fling herself into the arms of the nearest non-douche.

  77. The Scarlet Pimple

    Thank you, SeeBea. Whatever our differences, we can all agree to be Thankful that we’re not Canadian!

  78. What’s sad is that this stuff actually works. Nice come last (or sometimes not at all).

  79. Nice guys*

  80. Ha. Liam is awesome. He could put any chick in a state of ecstasy. Woo. I am so squirming right now…
    LOL

  81. @SeaBea & The Scarlet Pimple:
    Hey, hey, hey. Just ’cause you guys got trashed talked on Texas, doesn’t mean that you have to put Canadians on the same pillar as Oklahoma. Canada totally owns Oklahoma. We’ve got Whistler. And Bacon. And REAL maplesyrup. So like…ha XD

  82. I don’t know. I like my hit-men to work full-time.

    Maralie – and Montreal where the people are ridiculously good-looking.

  83. @Maralie:
    I wasn’t putting Canada on the same pillar with Oklahoma…I just said don’t get me started. So settle down find a hockey game to watch and have a beer, ay.

    Oh, why do Canadians always have sex doggy style ay?
    So they can both watch hockey ay.

  84. The lameness of the first post cannot be described in words. The second is way fucking worse! 7 generations of inbreeding and basically use a computer. He’s a genius!!! …NOT!!!

  85. @SeeBea:
    You’re mistaken. It’s eh.
    As I watch my hockey game you’ll be at the rodeo, hm? Nvm, I’m just glad that you didn’t put us in the same basket as Oklahoma.
    Come on, can you only dish out the hockey jokes? A Canadian team hasn’t won in the past ten years. I think. I don’t watch hockey so I wouldn’t know. Lol.

  86. SeaBea if the Leafs game wasn’t on I would put down my beer and kick your ass eh.

  87. @Noobie:
    Don’t get me lol’n off my chesterfield dude.

  88. Who is seriously happy to state their name? How embarrassing. It was just downhill from there.

  89. Part time ladylicker? I’ll stick to someone who’s pulling overtime and split shifts. What a slacker.

  90. “i kinda broke my leg but i didnt REALLY break my leg so its okay”

    and i dont even know where to start with aaron.

  91. You know that when a guy tells you not to be afraid of him, points out that he won’t force you, then winks to show how sincere he is being… well, he is being totally 100% honest, in a non-stalker, non-creepy way, and is definitely good marriage material.

  92. Sadly, this is better than some ‘intros’ I’ve received in the past.

  93. @83 Seabea, As I’ve told you in a previous thread, you’re going to have to LEARN to use eh PROPERLY.

    That just plain sucked.

  94. I would add the fuck out of Aaron for future lamebook posts.

  95. Don’t Deny Your Self. That pisses me off. Fuck the capitalization, yourself is one word, douche.

  96. Dee @ 95:

    In this case, yes, but too many people don’t know that if the focus is on the self (i.e. “Your chi is your self”) it is two words. I’m not sure which is worse: using the one word when you mean two or the two when you mean one.

  97. @Noobie: He shoots he scores LOLOLOLOLOL that was a good one.

    @Anitalaff: Sorry but I actually don’t give a damn. Down here it sounds like every other fucking thing you guys say is eh this or ay that. Or it’s in French.

    Canada did give us William Shatner though. So they have that going for them.

  98. @SeeBea:Now you’re just talking about the Maritimers dude. Yeah, if you do go to Quebec out in the country, they stare at you if you start to speak in English, but don’t get me wrong they’re much easier to understand than Alaskans–who you’re starting to confuse a whole bunch of Canadians with. Basically, I think THEY say eh, haven’t you heard Sarah Palin talk in a while? Idk about you, but where I am, I’ve never heard eh being used casually in a sentence. Maybe in the Maritimes and up in the arctic, but not anywhere else.
    ++”Down here,” Lol, you’re really funny though.

  99. @Maralie:
    Funny? you shouldn’t make fun of the way people look.

  100. @SeeBea:
    Lol. Alright, alright

  101. What’s idk?

  102. OK, late to the party but I just wanna say that creepy, random pickup attempts make me angry. Like, flames on the sides of my face. I’ve been putting up with this kind of crap since I was 13 years old, and I’m average looking! I’m surprised the really good looking girls don’t snap and go around shooting guys in the crotch. Perhaps this is where the idea that all hot girls are bitches came from, because they must have to spend a good portion of their day every day dealing with idiots like Aaron. I wish someone would provide just ONE instance of this type of lame attempt to get laid EVER working so I could understand why men keep doing this shit.

  103. This is great. I’m a lesbian but I’d totally go for it. I’d meet him, greet him, beat him, leave him. :D Whips and chains, baby. Oh yeah!

  104. @SeeBea:
    “Idk” it means I don’t know. Sorry, I was too lazy to type in my blurb. Or perhaps, was my foreigness too much to comprehend? Lol, there’s tons of other abbreviations, but I’m way too ooc to tell you k? :D

  105. Um What!?

  106. I just can’t get over how Don’t Deny Yourself is all in caps. Magical.

  107. @Wednesday
    I’m a guy and I can’t beieve a guy thinks that this works either.
    But the one that gets me the most is how a guy (or girl) could think that hitting someone out of jealousy is going to endear them. “I love you baby (PUNCH) don’t leave me baby (PUNCH).” What is that?

  108. I’m the one that got the friend request from Aaron, he sent me an even lamer one a few days later. haha

  109. @EmmaS:
    Lol. I was in a similar situation. Too bad lamebook wasn’t around last year.

  110. Agree I ended up blocking him haha

  111. That Aaron sure knows exactly what a girl wants! A part-time hitman, part-time lady-licker. SWOON!

  112. @lpycb42:
    Fathers better lock their daughters up!

  113. I’d really like to have a mutual mental -Not physical one- ‘relation’ ‘ship’ with Aaron. Seems so charming. Such a Rhett Butler. Just purely mental love.

  114. I LOVE that I’ve been reading this website since it existed and now I know someone here. Sarah (mind you, Liam spelled her name wrong, minus the H) is my best friend. Awesomest awesomest awesome. Both these guys SERIOUSLY need to get laid. If they can. Or at least try in person. Not over facebook. Or at least invest in some porn. Come on now boys!

    PS- I hear Liam is actually pretty good in bed…any takers? (HAHAHA!!!!)

  115. Aaron looks like he listens to dubstep and Lil Wayne. There’s no way he has the chops to perform contract killings.

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