Thursday, March 25, 2010

Just a Few Quick Wins

previous post: Self Portraits



  1. fird

  2. Ben.

    Hurrhurr.. I’m so witty and clever. Inside jokes are the best kind of jokes.

  3. Dizzy_Ballerina

    Lots of ppl are going to be in Laura’s universe now that LB just gave out her full name!

    Nice blur LB real nice !

  4. Shut the fuck about your relationship, nobody gives a fuck I fucking hate you fuck off.

  5. Thx.

  6. Dizzy_Ballerina

    um Hobo did you go off your meds? You seem to be talking to someone who is not there … albeit they are totally wrong and deserve to die.

  7. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    i just read that article Jessica is quoting from.

    thought I’d share…

  8. Grah.

  9. Reed and Sam FTW.

    Ilya is probably one of those women who carries on about going out with rich guys for their money, but has no assets of value to even catch a rich guys attention.

    And Charlie… well… Charlie strikes me as one of those lads whose hobbies involve masturbating with the aid of petroleum jelly, wrestling and vehicular manslaughter.

  10. I think Reed wins.

  11. Charlie I like it.
    You’ve killed an animal, and had respect enough not to waste it.
    This squirrel did not die in vain, as many do.

  12. Wallets

  13. Men look at attractive women the same way women look at pretty butterflies?


  14. You have to admit that wallets is a nice change from kitchens.

  15. The suggestion that men look at attractive women the same way that women look at pretty butterflies is either one of the most stupid or the most naive things I’ve ever read. Or both.

    If whoever made that up is trying to suggest that men look at attractive women in some kind of spell bound awe…well then they’re seriously over estimating the effect of butterflies on women.

    If on the other hand they are suggesting that men look at attractive women and it elicits some kind of excited glee akin to that of a 13 year old saying “OMG look how pretty!! Ohhh, I love butterflies, they’re so lovely!!” then they really need to get out in the world.

  16. Sure I look at pretty women like a chick looks at a butterfly: I think to myself, “That thing would look damn slick dead and nailed to a display board in my office.”

    Women are morons.

  17. @bostono: It means women want to f*ck butterflies, I think.

  18. Merf, your embittered attitude towards women and seeming penchant for sadism makes me wonder what’s in your basement. I’m guessing corpses…probably dressed up as cats. And every day you go down there and yell at them for not drinking their milk or eating their Meow mix before huffing away to go and watch Mad Men without appreciating any of the satire.

  19. Ouch. I’m so hurt. That little dig hurt me right to my core. Just… ouch.

    As for Mad Men: Never saw it, nor have I had the desire to.

  20. Oh I’m not trying to hurt you, just have some fun. Work be boring mon.

  21. I think we should all have a moment of silence for mr. squirrel (a.k.a Fido’s dinner)…… Okay. Now that that’s done, who’s up for a round of golf, no, no one…. okay how ’bout pin a dick on the prostitute?

  22. I see some men like butterflies.
    Attractive creatures that flit into your life for a short time, you have that enjoyable moment or two with them, and they flit away again, as they should.
    Then I think they die soon after.
    Nature’s way.

  23. Fucking A! I can’t believe Charlie fed that squirrel to his dog!! SICK

  24. slippy, it’s all ok. Survival of the fittest, and a nice harmony and balance. Can’t you see the poetry in it?

    Either that or I’m fucking hallucinating due to dehydration.

  25. @BananaRepublic
    Ilya is a male name.

  26. Great way to give your dog parasites with the squirrel

  27. @25

    Fair enough, then he must be one of those men who carries on about going out with rich guys for their money, but has no assets of value to even catch a rich guys attention… Or something.

    I apologise, I don’t know much about Russians (I assume Ilya is Russian?) and their names. All I know about Russia is that its very big, very far away, and Sarah Palin can see it from her house.

  28. Alex, opened up and just got owned straight away. poor guy trying to say sorry for being a dickhead and his mate doesnt give a fuck. lol lol

  29. @word
    they usually don’t die shortly after…unless your gud gud has teeth

  30. lol

  31. Any chance that “Laura New” is the girl’s full name and it’s not being blurred out?

    If anyone else said this before me, I apologize, but I don’t feel like reading a lot this morning, haha.

  32. Dizzy_Ballerina

    @ mcowles

    you don’t listen to me anymore… what has happened to our relationship lol see #3… I feel so ignored .. buy me something :P

  33. @Dizzy

    I actually did a “find” on this page for “New”. I guess I should’ve searched for “full name” instead. My bad.

    What would you like for me to buy you? Three fingers of vodka?

  34. @mcowles

    I’d so enjoy a “slow comfortable screw” from you.

  35. @Dizzy

    If I gave you a slow comfortable screw, you’d end up with a fuzzy navel by the end. Make sure you wash that out with peroxide… sorry.

  36. @mcowles

    Truly I would not mind…. if you don’t mind enjoying my slippery nipples…..

  37. mcowles, did you ever find Lulz? She was wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’…..

  38. No, he didn’t. And I am still sitting here, refreshing my Facebook page every 10 seconds hoping I’ll see a friends request. Crying.

  39. Well, Lulz, I know his investigative skills are well above par, but one can only expect him to be stymied when all he has to fuel his search is a lamebook username. Dunno how to help ya, milady, but I wish I did. Oh to be privy to (what i would assume to be) the wit that is mcowles’ wall posts.

  40. I know, right? And like I said, I’d post my e-mail, but I’m afraid… mainly because I got some girls status submitted here back in October or something, and if she finds out who I am she may slaughter me.

    He could always look on the Lamebook’s FACEBOOK tho. JUS SAYIN. Jesus Christ mcowles step up here.

  41. Hahahahaha

  42. Lamebook’s FACEBOOK? I’m very confused… like the fan site? haha

    I’ve given out my “e-mail address” here before.

    mcowles (dot) junkmail (at) gmail (dot) com

    Hit me up!

    I searched for people with the last name Lulz, but there were just three Mexican men, triplets, and I didn’t think any of them were you.

  43. let’s get dangerous!

  44. whoa dawnstar, no e-mails from you allowed… unless they’re risqué. I don’t mean naked photos, I mean they should involve sexist/racist jokes involving hookers and the holocaust.

  45. mcowles you’re lying to me.

  46. crap, mcowles. I only know sexist/racist jokes involving farm animals. Although I suppose that sheep could be called a hooker…..

  47. @Lulz

    Isn’t it possible that your friend might see your real name listed on the “other” lamebook page? Your endeavor, while admirable, seems to have a glaring flaw.

  48. Lulz, after all of that, you don’t even wanna TRY?

  49. Yeah she’ll see me, but I won’t say I’m Lulz, durrrrr

  50. Lulz, I’m so confused. How the hell would anyone find you that way? Pardon the dumb.

  51. Then how was I supposed to look on the other lamebook page and connect your name with Lulz? Have you posted some things that I (in my devotion to you) would make it obvious that you are Lulz?

    Maybe I shouldn’t add you to my facebook… it’s the mystery of this place that has kept the fires so strong, haha.

  52. sexluther,

    I’m pretty sure I’ve knocked a few guys off, as I’m THAT talented. No teeth down there, just a wondrous place for you boys to visit.
    I’m pretty sure butterflies don’t live very long, and women do tend to outlive men, so that was my comparison.

    Anyway, I’m heading away now for the weekend. Have a good one people.

  53. You are correct. Such a confounding conundrum would stump even Sherlock Holmes. Forgive my ignorance.

  54. Oh jeeze, forget it. Hahaha

  55. dawnstar, where’s my e-mail?

    Have a good weekend word. I’m not on much over the weekends anyway… even those that’s when the best conversations seem to happen.

  56. Well that was anticlimactic.

    How sad for you Lulz! If you want, I’ll totally be your friend. Realistically, only some mild stalking would be needed to find me.

  57. I posted a comment on the Lamebook fan page a couple days ago saying “Does anyone post on the real Lamebook page often?” and some girl said “I’m starting to… now I’m wondering who everyone is.” And I said “I wanna know who mcowles is…”

    There. That is how I did it. No where did I say Lulz. I’m not that stupid, I swear!

  58. And yes, dawnstar, be my friend.

  59. mcowles, only if you ask nicely, since you previously stated I wasn’t allowed.

  60. Lulz… if that girl sees THIS post. She’ll easily find you. You better go delete that thing!

    Dawnstar, please e-mail me something.

    BTW, my facebook wall is covered in facebook app updates. You’re all about to be sorely disappointed, haha. If anyone needs a medium jar in Cafe World, let me know!

  61. omg, those were the magic words! expect an e-mail today, mcowles.

  62. dawnstar I have noooo idea how the hell I am supposed to find you. I’m not that great with FB stalking unless I have a name or e-mail address.

  63. Lulz, it would take some routing through other ‘social netwoking’ sites….hmmm….I don’t particularly want to post my email either. I looked for your entry on the facebook lamebook page, but didn’t find anything remotely like what you were talking about. daaaang

  64. I posted it yesterday. at the bottom of the page. For Christ’s sake my name is Ashleigh Morris haha I may as well just tell you since ANYONE could find it now.

  65. whoa… I feel much less special about this now.

    But yeah, I found her name pretty easily. It was a wall post (not a comment on something) in which she said something about “I wonder if anyone posts here”.

  66. Ha ha!

  67. mcowles, you should still feel special. I just figured since I was going to say “My post is on this website at the bottom of the page from yesterday and I said ‘this’ and it was after the guy’s post about ICP” I may as well just say my name.

  68. Cute Lulz, I’d do you.

    I’m packing my suitcase in between this curious little exchange.

  69. She is cute, huh? Awww. And POPULAR! Lol. BTW, there are two fan sites for lamebook, I guess I was looking at the wrong one.

  70. Ahhhahhahaha thanks, wordpervert. We can be FB friends, too, you know.

  71. @Word
    Where are you traveling to?

    You live about 3 hours away. Should I come for a visit?

  72. Lulz, if you add ONE MORE lamebook friend to your facebook (after wordpervert and dawnstar), I’m gonna be pissed.

    It’s like that time I was stalked by a girl in high school and right before I gave in and asked her to prom, she took off her shirt in homeroom and asked if anyone wanted to play with her new boobies.

    Yes, exactly like that situation.

  73. And you said yes, right?? Good god man, tell me you said yes.

  74. Soup- Yes. I hope that means you live in Chicago.

  75. I’m always a little surprised by the number of “friends” people have on their list, but no doubt Lulz is a popular girl.
    Maybe I’m just too picky about who I add as “friends”, as very few on my list are people I don’t know in real life.

    The few that I’ve added randomly have more often than not been tools that flood my page with constant updates of bullshit that no one ever takes any note of, and I’m sure they’re the types who troll fb adding anybody.

    Having said that, I might look you up Lulz.

  76. I’m really not that popular. I don’t talk to hardly anyone on my friends list.

    And seriously, add me!

  77. Soup, a 3 hour road trip from here for a huge art exhibition that has come out from Paris. Yes, I’m an art lover, go figure.
    It’s a girl’s weekend, four of us, not only art appreciation involved, there will be drinking and dancing as well.
    It’s me after all right?

  78. No one else is going to add me? :( saaaaad

    Fine! I didn’t like you guys anyway!

  79. Patience Lulz, patience.

  80. @Lulz
    I’m in the Chicago suburbs.

    Sounds like a good time. You and three other broads tearing it up? I imagine that would be an exhibit unto itself.

  81. Word, that sounds awesome! I hope you and your ladies live it up!

  82. Soup, I used to live in La Grange! I gotta move back up there eventually. I’m wasting away here in Buttfuck, IL.

  83. Elizabeth Bathory

    I didn’t follow your conversations here, so uh – Ben!

  84. No doubt, unless women want to hump butterflies, that’s a dumb quote.

    Yesterday, my dog mutilated a lizard, but didn’t kill it. I put it out of its misery by throwing it to my chickens, one of whom promptly beat it to death, then swallowed it whole. Circle of life, baby. I just hope that guy worms his dog on a regular basis.

  85. Thanks dawn, and that offer of coming dancing with me has no expiry date ok.

    Yes Soup, I’m a walking, talking piece of classic art, I encourage you to get up close and see my brush strokes sometime.

    So a bientoe!

  86. Have fun on your vacation word. If you do anything that I would I know you will be having fun.

    @ lulz: I used to live there. I moved a couple of hours south of there. I couldn’t take that place no more. Plus there was a lot of bad memories. Just be careful about your information. I did pretty much the same thing you did but I got lucky. There are some real creeps out there. I am going to have to agree with word on #68 and #75.

  87. I spent so long reading the converstions in the comments that by the time someone mentioned fucking butterflys again I was like wtf are you on about?

  88. lmao….It can get pretty extensive in here nice. If you don’t mind I call you that.

  89. Dammit, lamebook, I’m supposed to be studying…
    But – did no-one else wonder if Charlie is Charlie Sheen…?
    Also, Reed ftw!! lmao.

    That is all.

  90. Reed FTW…how was i just thinkin that??

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