Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Josh the Pirate

previous post: That Awkward Moment…



  1. Not long till Josh’s cell mate is swabbing his poop deck, arrrrrgh treasure.

  2. Rereading Josh’s comment in a pirate voice made this post that much better.

  3. On a semi-related note, I gave my girlfriend an “angry pirate” last night

  4. ^ What does that entail?

  5. ^ New one for me, too. So I Googled it, like any self-sufficient schmuck would do, and Urban Dictionary tells me this:

    “One-eyed Angry Pirate
    The One-Eyed Angry Pirate is when you are having sex with a woman doggy-style, and you are about to come, then you pull out and spit on her back so she thinks you came. So she turns around to face you, then you ejactulate in her eye, and kick her in the shin. She will then chase you hopping around on one leg, seeing out of one eye, like a One-eyed Angry Pirate.”

    Nice variation of some other methods.

  6. ^Correction: it doesn’t have to be a woman.

  7. Probably the funniest thing I have read on here in weeks. Nice one, Cody!

  8. Yes, Josh. Fighting Cody will indeed prove that you are not as dumb as a petrified turd.

  9. Cody should have said, “cat,” instead of, “vagina.”

  10. Cody sounds like a big faggot.

  11. ^ You jelly?

  12. stock-fucking-standard.

    isn’t every second post by some aggravating numpty lacking basic literacy skills?

  13. I have have never come across a commenting community with such a false sense of superiority as this one. Even YouTube, as loathsome as the comments there can be, isn’t this self-righteous. Have you all forgotten this is a comment section for a site that posts pictures of funny facebook posts? What the fuck guys. Get your heads out of your asses.

  14. ^did you just critique your own bullshit? because you’re fucking spot on.
    you are way too self-righteous, not in the least funny and, quite literally, hated more than cancer.
    but to be fair, you should keep your head firmly wedged up your ass – it muffles your whiny bullshit.

  15. Keep telling yourself that.

  16. @13 Aww, shucks. I’m blushing.

    Hell, Nails, that was some damn fine research and a good read.
    Keep up the great work, young man. Mr. Freeman, you could use a little of that self initiative.

  17. At least you hate cancer though. I always assumed you would support it or something for some horrible hipster irony.

  18. I like any cancer that you get in a totally non-ironical way.

  19. Thanks, rightbrain. I know right where to go for unquestionably sound and reasonable information.

    Oh, and evilcow, I thought you died from cancer or something? Was that a tease of a dream? Dammit.

  20. I actually do have cancer guys, so you might want to shut the fuck up.

  21. ^Hey, honey–I’m truly sorry you’re sick. But this really isn’t the right place for you or personal disclosures. Go to reddit. They have lots of pictures of cats doing unbelievably adorable things. If you stay here you and anything about you is fair game. Go. I wish you well.

  22. You also just killed one lovely buzz.

  23. what in sam hill is wrong with you, rightbrain?? it said it has cancer and even that failed to make you happy?
    dude, you have some serious issues.

  24. You’re all going to hell.

  25. ^You are the worst commentator on this site.

  26. MsAnne, I just can’t be happy until everyone has it. I’m a dreamer. I always have been. Don’t cry for me, Melanoma.

  27. …or the best

  28. Melanoma is the best.

  29. ^ Hmm, melanoma tastes like pork crackling. And lung cancer tastes like poor decisions and bitter regret.

    Most of the other cancers are fucked and are just really shitty luck. I hope you get better, Evilcow.

  30. you don’t believe that it’s actually got cancer do you?
    the doctor said she was ‘cancerous’.
    so, not the same thing at all.

  31. Yeah, I do. Why would you say something like that otherwise? Evilcow is no itzmurda, who requires attention at every. fucking. turn.

  32. so she’s a pointless cunt because chemo?
    and now it’s not ok to tell her to shut her retarded head, because she might die sooner than she normally could have(but really she won’t because she’s lying her arse off)?

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