I wonder what Joe calls his business. Joe’s Discount Tattoos? Tatpoo? Slightly Better Than Cracker Jack Tattoos? And what the hell is that last one supposed to be? It looks like a crescent moon barfing.
Seriously, I’d rather have a penis tattoo on my arm than one of Joe’s… man, that’s truly bad. And the Mom tattoo is how I wrote when I was in 2nd grade for sure, it’s so accurate to how I wrote that they could have literally stolen the mother’s day card I made back then and used it as a stencil. And if the Troy tattoo was supposed to have the R backwards, that’s fine, but why is the Y spaced so far down? Badbadbad.
So wait, Troy got his own name tattooed on his arm? What kind of self-absorbed douchebag does that? I also like that it took him 5 and a half hours to go from “is it really backwards” to “oh yeah, I meant to do that. Sure you did, pal.
Apparently Joe learned the art of tattooing from the local crackhead at the county jail. He needs to commit more serious crimes so he can upgrade his training at the state penitentiary where the tattoos are a hundred times better.
Sometimes you just see a tattoo and think ‘what fucking thought process led to you getting this tatto?’
#1: ‘You know what I’m tired of doing? I’m tired of telling people my fucking name. Fuck that shit. Why open your mouth when you can just lift up your forearm? And what’s with having people know your real name? I’d much rather have people thinking ‘what is that? Is that meant to say Toby?’ than know my name.’
#2: ‘You know what I don’t tell people enough? I love my mom. I think I’m gonna get it tattoed on my arm. Not her name, mind. Just ‘mom’. Cos I love her and all, but I’ll be fucked if I acknowledge her own person. Also I don’t think having ‘MOM’ tattooed on my arm is obvious enough, so make the O a fucking heart. Now NOBODY can question my love for my mother…’
I realize that the hospital morgue doesn’t work like a library… and, it’s a good thing, too. We don’t need people just checking bodies in and out. Still, I think that Joe needs to take his portfolio down to his local hospital, and just see if they’ll loan him a couple of the John and Jane Does from the morgue and just practice on the cadavers for awhile so he doesn’t do any more permanent damage. Practice makes perfect, Joe, and you’re going to need many… many bodies. Heck, they make doctors start on dead bodies, why not tattoo “artists”?
It boggles my mind that no one has tried to figure out what, exactly, #4 is…seriously, is it an optical illusion of some sorts? Like an autostereograms; if you stare at cross-eyed for long enough it turns into a 3D image or something resembling ANYTHING at all?
One more thing: it’s on that guy’s back! At least he doesn’t have to look at it everyday of the rest of his life.
Oh, and I think I’ve just given myself a neckache from looking sideways at the last photo. The closest I came to deciphering that hideous thing was in thinking that it may possibly be a tattoo of a moon. A really bad moon. And did he run out of ink at the very end and improvise with a ball-point pen?
My sister had a boyfriend in high school who started doing tattoos with a needle and a Bic pen. I thought that’s what these were done with… yet there he is holding a tattoo gun (albeit a clunky looking one). All Joe’s friends must be blind.
@47 hahaha, a moon that clawed it’s own eyes out, I’m crying laughing, lol
I think it’s a moon too, and I love how he’s sitting on a safe. It’s probably full of all his money from selling pot and tattoos. Free tat with a quarter ounce, haha! He probably has like $50 in there.
holy crap!! i think i’m starting to get it! that barf-like stuff in the middle of the moldy croissant kinda looks like a duck in water if you stare long enough.. the head&beak on the left, tail on the right and so on
I feel like I’m at some modern art show. I keep tilting my head to try and understand the last one.
The best interpretation I can get is the man in the moon, except it’s more like the man in the moon on crack. What might be the face is horrific, and it would be even if it was done by a better tattoo artist. It’s the mouth that really gets to me.
What I really like, though, is that it looks like he’s doing a teddy/gummi bear in the 3rd one. :]
Remember when there was a heap of bad tattoos and a lot of comments were insulting tattooists? Well, Joe deserves it. Great way to help out your people… Although, if you can go out and buy a tattoo needle, owning it does not make you a tattooist…