Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Jiminy Cricket, I’m Confused

Jiminy Cricket

previous post: By the Way, We Don’t Give a Shit

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58 Comments

  1. Somebody tell me the cricket’s name is Mommy.

  2. LMFAO that is what i’m thinking…cricket = mommy

  3. It’s lame because she wrote that she stepped on a cricket first, and her mom dying second.

  4. Thanks for clearing that up Chad….finally a good night’s sleep for me!

  5. This is really disturbing…

  6. WTF? Poor cricket!

  7. According to the date of the post, Mommy died two weeks ago.

    What’s with the spelling of JENYI? Smack her.

  8. And Josh (a brother?) couldn’t make the funeral because he was on probation…

    Mommy died a few days shy of 6 months ago. She was only 45 so it must have been sudden. They are all still broken up about it, eh?

  9. I missed that EIEIO (mommy died a few weeks before the post). Wow. They REALLY were broken up about it.

  10. Yeah, my grandmother died a few weeks ago, and trust me, two weeks after the fact, I certainly did not care about any little thing like that.

  11. There’s just so much going on here…crickets on probation whose mother’s died?

  12. how random is this?

  13. What is Wendy even saying?

  14. Jeyni shut the fuck up with the condolences, didn’t you hear she stepped on a cricket god dammit!

    There seems to be a theme lately of people putting personal matters so nonchalantly in their status’.
    If only the police had picked up on this one…
    ‘Philip Garrido can’t believe what just happened on Entourage, oh and also I’ve kidnapped a few peeps lol.’

  15. What if the cricket was her Reincarnated mom???

  16. The “RIP Mommy” part is obviously a tag she adds to the end of every post. Hilarious in this context.

  17. Fiddler on the Roof

    ‘Obvious’ stole the words out of my mouth. I don’t think the cricket was born in 1964

  18. @Busta Hymen (nice user name btw) I’m waiting for a status along the lines of “0mfG NEW MOON 0Ut NEXT WEeEKK CANT WAIT ROBERT PATINSON SUCh A FUCKiNG HOTTieEEE!!!!!! :) :)))))dad killed my mum yesterday”

    Oh and can someone tell these people that there is a difference between “o” and “0″?

  19. RIP Mommy #3

  20. I just stepped on a roach! RIP LITTLE SISTER, THERE WUZ NO1 LYKE U.

  21. yeah where shoes always!!

  22. That poor mother.

  23. I know there’s the whole gender thing, but she says the spirit will live on through her and (presumably) her two sisters and then we find out she has a brother she didn’t mention at all.

  24. Well, Alyssa wins for scariest pixelated facebook picture.

  25. im having your baby

    I love when people post RIP and death in the family updates addressing them directly on facebook. I just picture the person in heaven using gods computer to check they’re facebook, and having god walk in and being like “WTF.. tell me you didnt go through my history”

  26. @Chad

    It’s lame because you explained why it was lame when it is obvious to all.

  27. @ #25
    Careful with that whole their/they’re/there thing – im having: we thrive on that sort of stuff around here – you can get eaten alive!
    (otherwise I’m ROFLing at the idea of looking through God’s history folder!)

  28. Buddy Christ FTW

  29. Donald Trump's Comb-Over

    RIP cricket. And mommy too, of course.

  30. next person to say ‘ ftw’ dies

  31. Shareka FTW!

  32. Priorities.

  33. Jax with a death wish

    What does ftw mean anyway?

  34. I have a 17 year old cousin who does this same thing, leaves one life altering message up for a long time and just adds to it whenever something trivial happens.

  35. @34 Obvious – that’s hilarious.

    Is it just me, or is everyone also looking at their FB friends’ updates in a different way since visiting this website?

  36. im having your baby

    #27 well played chunder. i know my they’re/their/there’s but my excuse is that it was 2am my time lol.
    spelling corrections FTW!

  37. I played Jiminy Cricket in the school play when I was six years old. I had to wear stupid tights and sing “Give a Little Whistle”.

  38. @Jax
    http://lmgtfy.com/?q=ftw

  39. cricket ≥ mommy

  40. RIP Sixkiller :(

  41. So I just discovered FTW is WTF backwards

  42. @Flip

    I never noticed that before. I must tell everyone.

    http://twitter.com/solo1y

  43. @ Buddy Christ and Cassie – haha. Well done, well done indeed. :-)

  44. Thank you Shareka for the good wishes, but I think you will go first, I mean, with all that fat going up to your brain.

  45. Billy Wilders Dead Monkey

    this is a whole load of fuckry right ‘ere

  46. I don’t mean to be pedantic, #36 (im having your baby), but there was also no need for the apostrophe in “there’s”.

  47. i think you are being just a tad pedantic there..

  48. rip dumb kid’s brain

  49. I love you hmmmm

  50. That should be
    @hmmmm
    I love you

  51. This made me laugh so hard I cried.

  52. @18 i almost pee’d.. thanks.

  53. y ur blur default pic?

  54. UrbanDictionary.com is your friend

    33-FTW means “for the win”

  55. O_O LOL
    Am I horrible person for finding this funny?

  56. Nope! I almost peed myself. Glad someone else shares sick humor.

  57. OMG who posted this?????????????????? to let you all know, the RIP MOM was a constant on my status… she passed away from a brain tumor/brain cancer… i had come home from the emergancy room and went into my kitchen with no light on and i stepped on a cricket… i then updated my status. josh was a very close family friend that my mom basically adopted into the family when he was 13, he moved to florida and had gotten caught w drugs, and my aunt wendy was saying she just caught a cricket in her house and sent it to me…

  58. Defective User With Smoothy Buns

    Wow so you felt you had to come on here a year later to explain yourself to people who aren’t even here?

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