Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Jet Outta Here

previous post: Back to School

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52 Comments

  1. My eyes are bleeding now, yet I still desperately want to have sex with Jet. I would still want him, even if he only saw me worthy enough for a pair of cubics sir conium earrings.

  2. Um, Ben?

  3. Well I tried to be a pair of cubics sir coniums for my wife, but they said that it’s illegal to buy humans even if they’re knighted… if anyone has any black market hookups, though, let me know!

  4. I am totally confidence that his lady’s NEVER met the esteemed ‘Cubic’ Sir Conium.

  5. I hate when guys start pulling rabbits out of their hats to impress me.

  6. This shite is 4 reals.
    The only ballin’ I do is of the sports variety though.

  7. OMG- The ‘Cubic’ Sir Conium would make an amazing DJ name. I call dibs.

  8. I think he was trying to dis Twilight, which makes me pretty happy. I would totally sleep with this guy if he were intelligent enough to spell.

  9. Took me ages to work out what “Forein stance” was. Standing like a Frenchman maybe?

  10. Everyone knows that Cubic Conium has yet to be knighted. I really want to “no” this guys foreign stance. Seriously, how does one not know the correct spelling of “know?” And don’t even get be started on “alot!”

  11. Alot is a town in India.

  12. I’m describing his words in my brain right now so that I can succeed.

  13. @GrahamDunk: Sir Conium DID get knighted…..remember?? he’s the one that told the royal family that Prencess DyeAnna passed…

  14. Oh man, I’m a straight guy and even I want Jet’s babies.

    Won’t nobody be fucking with our house again.

    Jet, just desrcibe these words in your mind and get back to me, PLEASE?

  15. Sir Conium is a force to be reckoned with indeed, for he hath slain many a relationship.

  16. Alright, I will admit it. when I go to a forein country and I see someone stancing in a way that is forein to me, I get a certain stirring in my loins. There, I said it, and I’m glad I did!!

    PS: So that last part there, am I supposed to describe to myself how it all the words were misspellings and admit I have no idea what “Jet” is?

  17. My testicles are mysticle, does that count?

  18. i dun no y u ppl r makin fun of jet i tink he have god point nd i c no prolbem wit his spellin. y guis r dum. pise out.

  19. The content is not so bad. Being authentic and self-confident will get men very far, not just with women. Self-love, self-pride, self-confidence!

    Now, that diamond thing…

  20. “forein stance”! I love it!

    I want more wise words from our man Jet!

  21. Confidence ballers like Jet make my lady parts tingle.

  22. Cubic Sir Conium; is that the distant English cousin of Ice Cube?

  23. Translation:
    Dear fellow members of the masculine sex, this is a message to educate males as to what their female counterparts consider whilest choosing a spouse, in the perspective of Jet. Most fellows enquire as to how I have managed to attract so many of the fairer sex in the past and present, so today I would like to answer that question for the general public. First, be genuine, as females can often sense ingenuity. Do not try to affect an air of mystery, which can be easily seen as false. Second, provide material comfort. Using finances wisely is commendable, but females are often swayed by a generous display of monetary affection. For instance, I purchased a genuine diamond for my spouse, as opposed to the popular cubic zirconia. She was well aware of the difference. Females can tell. Lastly, display confidence, which is very important. If your female counterpart senses your fear, she may be less inclined to further your relationship. If you do not show courage when faced with aggressive behaviour towards your house, your vehicle, your spouse or any other of your belongings, then your female counterpart may show you less affection. Please take heed to my suggestions and you will find your endeavours successful.

    —JET

  24. The spelling & grammar is beyond shit, but I’m going to say it…

    I like his thinking.

    I like Jet.

  25. Junebug,

    The Whole “Sir Conium” thing made me read that with a british accent – good show!

    Wordy,

    Perhaps he can ravage you the way he did the English language ;)

  26. @Junebug: (in my harry potter voice) SIMPLY BRILLIANT!

  27. Comments, his name is Jet, so it makes me think of Jet Li. I want Jet Li to ravage me, so, yes, perhaps it’s something I’d consider letting him do to me.

    Gotta fly, guy. Have a good one.

  28. jet and gabe definitely deserve their own chapter in the forthcoming lamebook publication!

    (lamebook do i get some kind of favour/monetary reward for plugging your shit?)

    new lamebook book – all the best of lamebook, the perfect accompaniment to any bowel-voiding session, coming soon to a bookstore near you!

  29. Wordy,
    Gotta fly… a Jet pun, nice :) In case yo uswing by again by chance, you have a good one too!

  30. *you swing

    Hey, I’m in italics…

  31. Now we’re all in Jetalics. This is fucking mysticle.

  32. i hope this wasn’t my fault. if so it was unknowingly. i only just learned html ffs!

    if this is a lamebook problem then i owe walter a sincere apology.

  33. Ooh our words seem to have taken on a forein stance!

  34. I smell a fake. The text doesn’t look at all like a screencap. It looks like it was edited.
    Also, come on. It just REEKS of trying too hard to be bad.

  35. Am I the only one that has noticed

    “…if a lady see u have nice shit She will no u r a real baller” ?!?!

    I can safely say that’s something I would NEVER want to see, even if it was nice and had come from a ‘real baller’

  36. It’s as if I heard Cleveland’s voice reading that to me in my head.

  37. ‘Are you the cubics Conium?’
    ‘That’s SIR Conium to you!’

  38. Cubics Sir Conium

    Was it wrong of me to wait months to register, because I could not think of a suitable username until now?

    Thanks, Jet!

  39. hahahaha i love it cubic sir conium!!

  40. oh my lord… LMFAO at all of these comments

    Junebug – that translation was awesomely done… I too described it in my brain in a British accent lol

  41. My foreign stance is that bloody Sir Coniums are wrong. Sergio Leone is an awful place, but if we provided them with pasta, they could embrace our western ways.

  42. I actually understood everything! Jet had the phonics down, so in my opinion this is a win :)

  43. My theory is that alords forgot to also end the italics.

    If my theory was correct the italics should be done now, if I was wrong, I will look like an idiot…

    Or lamebook fails. Alot. Yes, I mean the town in India.

  44. Turns out it’s a lamebook fail because I tried to end the italics by going (without the spaces).

    This forein stance intrigues me.
    This, forein stance, intrigues me. (Read that as Jet… see what I did there?)

  45. *by going “end italics” in html talk…

  46. Hm, this flaw in the coding interests me.

  47. WTF, now I’m going to have to cross all this shit out…

  48. Aside from the issues of semi-literacy, Jet makes a good point. I’m willing to forgive matters of spelling and grammar if he actually lives up to his manifesto. slcrook.blogspot.com

  49. On the topic of the Lamebook book that nobody’s mentioned for about twenty comments, they better feature some stuff from commenters, cos they’re a lot of the time far funnier than the actual entires. Apart from that British cock.

    Also halfway through they should write a line in bold and then be unable to get the font back to normal for the rest of the book.

  50. I could literally feel myself becoming dumber as I read that. Thanks Jet. Intelligence is overrated anyway.

  51. Am I really the only one who feels the need to comment on Jet’s brilliant grouping of “lad[ies]” with “other of ur belongings”? No freak-out for content today, guys???

    This deserves, at minimum, a super-feminist raving followed by a damn-right-ladies-should-be-in-the-kitchen joke or something…

  52. Blowing away your opposition with machine guns does have an erotic overtone to it

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