Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Itsy-Bitsy Issues

previous post: It’s About Type

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68 Comments

  1. fuck a duck

  2. jesus these people….the last one especially. I hope she does end up starving to death.

  3. Christ. I refuse to believe that people like that last one actually exist.

  4. I REALLY want to know the names of the children of the girl in the first post. At first I thought she was 13!

  5. Mariah Carey said that about the skinny kids. But she didn’t actually, it was an urban myth. Derivative fail.

  6. I’d love to think that the last one was just an ‘edgy’ joke…

  7. I have heard the last one before..Yep just googled it and it says “Mariah Carey?” That can’t be right can it..I knew she was vacant, but geesh…it can’t be right…

  8. Oops, I am a slow typer.. the muncher of gussets got it!

  9. “Princess” could have avoided some of her problems in life if she hadn’t had children with a dead beat. Pre-marital sex, unwanted pregnancies and single mothers…is there any doubt that the Liberal attack on the Christian foundation of America has led to this problem?

    As for Kat, words cannot express my disgust with her.

  10. krasivaya_devushka

    “When I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

    That was the quote, but as they stated above, it’s made up and proven to be false.

  11. Mariah Carey’s a douche anyway. So is Kat for trying to be funny and instead coming of like a vapid cold hearted bitch.

  12. Oh man, look at me, I can type out funny things other people have said! I’m funnier than Dane Cook!

    No, wait, it’s not sarcasm if it’s true, is it?

  13. Nope. its never sarcasm when its the pure unadulterated truth.

  14. lol @ graham dunk. lamebook, we need more gabe!!

    @ dan – why are you going back to the trolling having admitted that you were in fact just a troll? it’s a bit like nixon running for presidency.

    i wish i had the word telekinesis thing going on like ee.

    …..word?

  15. @alordslums – I’m not sure to what you are referring.

  16. Alords, I know he is, but when did he admit that?!
    I must have missed a great series of comments. :(

  17. … dan admitted to ‘knocking one out’ the other day and seemingly ‘came clean’ as to his true nature.

  18. Dan’s right, guys! Princess should have aborted. :P

  19. “Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
    –BS quote falsely attributed to Mariah Carey, 1996

    “Blah blah blah them poor starving kids blah blah blah blah blah blah I’m either a stupid unoriginal redneck or I did this just for Lamebook blah blah blah blah blah blah.”
    –Kat, 2010

    I hope you’re proud, retard.

  20. @mass – I never admitted any such thing. I’m guessing it was an impostor using a similar name (e.g. “Dan Fargis” or “Danny Fargis” etc). Quite frankly, I’m not surprised that someone would try to smear my name. Jesus himself had his name smeared.

  21. looooooooool u fink ur jesus? wel jesus got one fing on u he actuly manigd to get layed in his life

  22. Comment #154: http://www.lamebook.com/screwed#comments
    The scene in which Fargis knocks one out…..

  23. Alordslums, it’s the sexual tension between the two of them by living so far away from one another that draws one or the other out onto the comments thread that just can’t be accomplished by any man sadly enough. That’s my theory at least, but it’s still worth trying.

    ……ee?

  24. Ta for that Graham, its comment 154.

  25. Lol sorry disregard that, I was far too eager to click on the link to see you’d already given the comment number, I scrolled through the whole thing.

  26. i’m fairly sure if you register under a certain name, then it is impossible for someone else to register under the same name (with the same use of capitals or otherwise, punctuation etc).

    so fargis, the game’s been up for a while – you can’t get any sound out of a busted drum. maybe you could to reappear as a muslim extremist called ali_farzeeq or something…?

  27. I like to think the Dan in comment two is the same Dan as our resident troll.

  28. krasivaya_devushka

    alordslums is right ^^

  29. alord how u doin dude? hows ur musik?

  30. it’s going good yoink. when you coming down for a gig? you anit banned yet!

  31. LOL@ #27 totalpixie And I vote for Dan being reincarnated as ali_farzeeq as alord suggested!

  32. laugh.out.loud

    I do believe that dan must have fallen off the pulpit in disgust when yoink talked about the Lord gettin it in. lmaooo

  33. y wood i be baned alord? duno mate wen u doin a gig in hull?

  34. i’m talking about your driving. you anit banned so you have to drive down for a gig.
    we’ve got some in sheffield coming up, that isn’t too far for you to go yoink. bring gracey down too – would be a pleasure to meet you both.

  35. thanks for finding that GrahamDunk…cheers (hoists a Keith’s)

  36. i mite do alord still duno bowt my drivin tho fink im not spost to be

  37. Yoink buddy .. do you roll doobs or do bowls? Bowls here.

    I once loved a girl from Coventry, that’s as close as I’ve come to England, I love the Queen too… she was just here, not my place..no..country.

  38. thank you Alords and Graham!
    I notice he has suddenly become very very quiet.

  39. Aww, nuff!

    I have family visiting for a few weeks, my computer has been commandeered by a 16 year old. I’ll be absent for a while, but I’ll try to wedge my way on here when I can.

  40. I roll mass anit dun a bowl since i was in college

  41. alord, word and I are connected. It is telekinesis, you have no idea!

  42. dirtylittlepretty

    a naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a …..
    fucking hilarious how i almost ripped that off!
    seriously tho, i wouldnt mind a salami

  43. Dane Cook was never a funny nigga

  44. Guys, again, it is possible for somebody to use your username on Lamebook. I’m too damn lazy to find the post that proves it, but it’s true. There’s a ridiculously convoluted way to do it, and I don’t even remember what it is, but it is possible. I really don’t think it was the ‘real’ dan_fargis that posted about knocking one out.

  45. @totalpixie – that’s a cute trick, but (other than the fact that that writing style doesn’t match mine), were I to say something that foolish, why would I still be here?

    If you think I’m a troll, why would a troll give himself up and then continue to post under the same name?

    Regardless, I’m not sure how it was done (although it amuses me that someone wants to be me), but I can assure you that it wasn’t I who said that. Seeing how I’m not a troll, in fact quite the opposite, I have no reason to run nor hide.

  46. oh god.

    that means another aeon or two of fargis.

    i wish he’d hurry up and meet his maker!

  47. @alordslums – I suspect that the day I meet my maker is the same day you will meet yours

    As told in Matthew:

    “At that time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky, and all the nations of the earth will mourn. They will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of the sky, with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.

  48. Oh my god Kat..Your parents must be so proud huh. I..I don’t get it..how can people think like that.

  49. yeh, keep your fingers crossed for that second coming coming. i’ll be in the pub.

  50. krasivaya_devushka

    looooooool alord wat he fink? dat sumfink in tha sky is gonna open up an his lord shoot down to tha dyrt in front ta his face? he probbly sum syco in his mums basment

  51. right. i think i need to go to bed. :-s

  52. @throwingtofu – Hey now, don’t compare us rednecks to unfunny douches like Kat. Not cool, man. Not cool.

  53. And all you need to do is chane your first name in your profile and then click on that from the drop down menu after you press ‘submit’.

  54. …and that’s the second time I spelled ‘change’ wrong.

  55. Yoink, how is it possible to go to college and spell like that?

  56. krasivaya_devushka

    Oh wow, what the hell? Good try haha, but I don’t talk like that :D

  57. hi everyon1, the nic name teo. U cal me dat cuz im a foot fetishist who cant spel good, i got 2 kids whos names i forgot n a cat named wiskers. i love my kids n wish brittini wud fess the fuck up n idmit dat im the dad n not dat fukr jason from walmart. i love dane cook, that stand up comedian is unquestionably one the funniest human beings alive today – also, does anyone NOT love Rob Schneider?

  58. slippy i dun carpentry in college it want a lot of riting

  59. Paranoid Android

    Is it just me or does anyone now skip the lamebook ‘submissions’ and go straight to the comments?

    Far, far more entertaining.

  60. @Paranoid Android
    yes I do that, I rarely ever read the submissions these days.
    at first I just wanted to get angry at Dan_fargis’ stupid statements but more and more I have become convinced that he is putting it on, I’ve known many mental case christians in my time and none of them would frequent a site like this with such fervency.

    @Yoink please spell words and form sentences in a manner that doesn’t make you look like a giant syphilitic dick.

  61. i dint put comet 58 y the fuck r peple copyin me

  62. That last one appeared in white chicks

  63. Good lord, what’s all this about taking other people’s usernames?

  64. You can’t sign in as a username that is taken unless you have their password. One account per username. It’s common sensical, people. And yes I just made up that expression.. Maybe. It’s too early here.

  65. PS – BritishHobo, I think I remember you saying in one post you’re a girl or something, but I still want to have your babies.

  66. the first one is obc fake, no one admits liking dane cook

  67. @drwho

    are you admitting to having seen white chicks?

  68. PPS – BritishHobo, if you don’t want to have babies with me, I can just still my strap on in your ass and then you can lick it clean

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