Wednesday, January 27, 2010

It’s WINSday!

previous post: Oh No! Photos

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97 Comments

  1. First

  2. I don’t know if Levin really had a point in mind when posting that..

  3. lostintranslation

    Ben, you’ve gone from online hero to retarted doosh in the space of one lamebook post. Congratulations.

  4. lostintranslation

    @freezit4: I think he was being sarcastic…

  5. Dr. Azizted-Homicide

    oh marie! if what you said was true, then it would be an even bigger problem for capitalists.

  6. oh ben I love it. some people don’t understand how epic it was that you firsted this post. lol

  7. @lostintranslation: blow me you fucknut, I couldn’t care less about your opinion

  8. The only thing lame about this post is Ben. Come back spastix, all is forgiven…

  9. oh my goodness. can we not see the beautiful irony? Of course none of you could possibly think that after his rant in the last post about first posters, that Ben has suddenly converted and lost brain cells. He was making a point. But it only works if you assume that you people have half a brain. so I guess his efforts were in vain.

  10. Can we petition to have Ben spaded or neutered? Hysterectomy?

  11. Ha! Ben, I have to reiterate my previous comment directed at you – You’re a twat!

  12. lostintranslation

    @probablynot: I did, in fact, see the irony. In the spirit of Ben’s rant from the previous post, I felt the need to insult him on this one, particularly given that I’d declared my love for him in the previous post for his angry ranting.

    And Ben, thanks for the offer to blow you… but I don’t think I’m exactly your type ;)

  13. I would like to state that women would not have to fake an orgasm if men knew what the hell they were doing.

    Adam, where have you been all my life? I’ve always had this dream that someday I’d be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, making some man a turkey pot pie!

  14. Wow Ben, I literally JUST read the conversation on the last post.
    Don’t you know? Posting “first” is Socialist.

    I think Levin is brilliant.

  15. I had a theory that the reason that people flipped out on people who posted, “first” was that they were pissed someone beat them to it.

    Good job Ben.

  16. Ben, it’s people, such as you…that talk mad shit on the internet (and let’s not forget you’re one of THOSE annoying fucks that Type “First.”) Is it that important to you? We all know in reality, you’re the scrawny little kid that could get beat up by a ten year old girl.

  17. Yes, Dave…we are all so jealous Ben posted first. What is the point of writing first anyway? Who cares? It just shows how cheesy you dorks are.

  18. 18th.

  19. @ Stix: I will save Ben the trouble of a reply on this: *Clears throat* Whine about not needing validation, use racist epithet or some combination of “fuck” and another word (Possibly “fuckbiscuit”? Let’s go with that.). More random whining and swearing to make himself feel important, fill that empty void in his life (and possibly groin), and try to appear like an internet superhero when we all know there is no such thing.

  20. And your post proves what dick munch? That you project much?

  21. All of you on your high horses, chill out, I apologize for my ranting, I really need to calm down and stop been a hypocrite.

    Or maybe you all can go fuck yourselves, you have nothing better to do than over analyze every comment, scrutinizing every minute detail, I couldn’t care less for any of your opinions you douche bags. Again, go suck your Dad’s dick(s).

  22. Ben, isn’t it past your bed time?

  23. Can someone submit #21 as a screenshot to lamebook?

  24. lostintranslation

    Ben January 27th, 2010 at 10:48 am: “Again, go suck your Dad’s dick(s).”

    Finally, an explanation for all his rage…

  25. Ben, you’re grounded for the next 3 months!

  26. Adams comment was nice. Not unprecedented, but good for a chuckle.

    @HulkSmash – “Spaded”? Seriously? Try “Spayed”.

  27. @ Ben

    I’m very glad you used “I couldn’t care less” properly.

    It annoys me a lot, when someone says “I could care less what your opinion of me is.” Hmmm… so you DO care what my opinion is?

  28. Well, there was me expecting a message from the brilliant ranter Ben saying that he got cloned by spastix or someone, but no. He is in fact, a Frodo – a retarted frodo at that – without a pool…

  29. @ BensDad-I think your kids needs a spanking too please

  30. Crap, my first post of the day and I screwed it up ****KID

  31. @Bezoar You’re right, my insult is now null and void.

  32. haha, great lameness from Ben, loving the comments

  33. Ben is just epitome of FAIL. Nuff said.

  34. Ow, wow, Adam, a joke about women cooking and ironing? Not only are you a fucking comedic genius, but you’re damn original to boot.

    I like the stuff in the status though that apparently women can love better than a guy ever can, and that a girl never actually wants to break up with you…? Uh, what?

    Btw, if anyone jumps on me for being all uptight about sexist jokes, it’s not just that. It’s the fact that the whole ‘get in the kitchen’ thing is SOOOOOOO bloody old now that it pisses me off whenever I hear it. It’s like RickRolling, funny for a bit, but anyone who still does it, the exact same joke, is NOT. FUNNY.

  35. eep so hateful. makes me wanna leave and not read anymore comments on lamebook anymore.

  36. See also: ‘George Bush is stupid’ jokes. Brilliant, not heard that one before.

    Though that isn’t as great an example anymore. A couple of years ago though, everyone would be telling them.

    Michael Jackson plays with kids jokes, after his death. There’s another one.

    I’m just listing unoriginal jokes now. Not sure why.

  37. @ DaysWithDave 20: Sure, why not?

    @scottspieg 28: Nah. The thing about Frodo is that, as much as he has been made out to be gay, he still has a book and movie series written about him. I can’t think of anyone who would want to produce books or movies about a whiny kid, or see the final product thereof.

  38. @mcowles – “I could care less” is sarcastic inversion.

  39. Juliet doesn’t want a boyfriend, she wants a stalker.

  40. As Chuck Norris I respect women and they enjoy a comfortable lifestyle with me because my clothes are so scared of me they straighten themselves, I have no use for an iron except to pump it.

  41. Jesus Christ. I hate this fucking website sometimes. What is the point in requiring a fucking registered name if any fucker can use it. For you information, douchebags above, I still fucking hate it when retarded shut-ins post “first”. They are wankers. Without exception, anyone who thinks it is valid and useful to post “first” is a fucking dickhead.

    I think some of the posters above could have made a bit more effort, too. “I really need to calm down and stop been a hypocrite”? You fucking spanner.

    This happened last time I started swearing on this forum, and got really boring fast. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

  42. @Bezoar

    If HulkSmash wants Ben beat over the head repeatedly with a spade, would that count as being ‘spaded’?

  43. a retarted frodo with no pool and a stinky good good.

  44. i think this whole conversation should be sent in and title ‘lamebooks biggest douchebags’

  45. …or perhaps there are more people in this world other than you called Ben?

  46. @ Chuck Norris there is something I have always wanted to tell you but have been to afraid but I have studied the ancient art of whoopassita for many years now and feel I have the strength. If I see you in the street you should run for I will hunt you down and beat you sensless for I just could not take one more freaking episode of Walker Texas Ranger.

  47. Juliet: You for got one — When she posts a whiny, “treat me like a spoiled princess simply because I have a vagina” post on Facebook, show her the door.

    Also, BritishHobo – can I add LOL Cats to your list of shit that is getting very old?

  48. Ben, your mother and I have been talking, and we’ve decided to send you to St. Peter’s School for Boys for your high school education.

  49. Ben, my name is Chuck, your parents have asked me to have a word with you regarding your appalling behavior in numerous threads. I understand it can be frustrating growing up, hell I was a teenager once, I got in a fair bit of trouble too but I found something that saved me, I found salvation in Martial Arts.

    You see Ben, Martial Arts is not just “beating people up” and there is more to been tough than talking trash (your mother said you have a terrible potty mouth), but at the same time your ass has got to be able to cash the cheques your mouth’s writing.

    If you think you can stick it, and listen, and be patient, I will teach you, it’s not going to happen over night, it’s going to be hard, sometimes your going to feel like just giving up but eventually, eventually you will be less of a douche.

  50. Women like Juliet make me want to vomit out all my estrogen. Seriously. Get a grip.

  51. Chuck Norris: Good at Martial Arts, shit at humour

  52. @DukeGuy: that’s rich coming from a guy who writes emails that are immensely shit rip-offs of Letters from an idiot. You nailed the last part of that book title but fail miserably at the humor.

  53. Rip off? Oh yes, like much of the internet – 99% plagiarism.

    Besides, ‘Letters from a Nut’ is a rip-off from ‘Timewasters Letters’ and plagiarism is just a nats teste higher than actually pretending to be someone else.

  54. @DukeGuy – Why would you want to get into it with someone who is coming at you hiding behind the name “Chuck Norris” are you freaking kidding me!

    Chuck Norris is Frodo!

  55. I love you Username_Login – and you’re right “he’s not worth it”

  56. Well, not so much a rip off as an authorized duplication / re-creation if you will for different markets (I suppose you can draw a similarity in the US and UK Office – “different drinks for different needs”).

    DISCALIMER: Chuck Norris is not, nor affiliated in any way with Chuck Norris. Any similarities are purely coincidental. The views of Chuck Norris are in no way the views or opinions of Chuck Norris.

  57. I eat Frodo for breakfast

  58. Socialism is Frodo

  59. So essentially what you are saying there Chuck is that Chuck Norris likes cocks in his mouth?

  60. DukeGuy, ‘The Timewaster Letters’ owe a debt to ‘The Henry Root Letters’ and Joe Orton’s ‘Edna Welthorpe’ and probably countless

    Ain’t nothing new under the sun

    Except ‘Chuck Norris’ and his individual approach to funny

  61. The word ‘others’ was missed there at the end of the first line

    I need another brandy

  62. thanks cunfunuckty – I’ll look those up

  63. So Juliet wants a man who’s going to wait on her hand and foot even when’s she’s being a super bitch? That is lame.

  64. ben, you’re exactly the type of person that shouldn’t be allowed on the internet. every one of your posts is so hypocritical.

    you yell at someone for posting “first” on an entry and then the very same day you do the same thing? since you seem to think that the other person that did it has no life, masturbates in his own shit, and only makes worthless comments; i guess we can assume the same about you.

    you also say that you don’t care about anyone’s opinions yet you think other people care about yours. more so, it’s clear that these opinions do affect you since you feel the need to repeatedly deflect them with insults. not to menton your fascination with performing fellatio on your dad.

    by the way, useless posts of profanity and insults don’t make your e-penis any bigger.

  65. Leave Frodo alone! I love that guy.

  66. Ever wonder why people who have such an intense distaste for one another continue to joust verbally long after the exchange has digressed into schoolyard insults that are the equivalent of “oh yeah? Well your mom is fat!”?

    Because they enjoy it.

    And we call some of the facebook updaters lame. I bet there is already a site in the works call Lamebook Lamecomments. The categories will include Frodos, turtles, grammarnazis, first second or thirders, retarts and so forth.

  67. Great now I am resisting every urge in my body to type “well, your mom IS fat”

    Maybe I should not have had so much coffee….

  68. *cackles with glee*

    Well met.

  69. I’d much rather go on about orgasms then “Ben”!

  70. Ben is Frodo. And Frodo fakes orgasms.

  71. (((giggling like a school girl high on pot for the first time)))

    Oh eenerble I love, love, love that your comment about orgasms just happened to be the 69th comment.

    I truly am immature today =)

  72. Levin wins today.

  73. Ben could have won, if he didn’t submit his own jokes. This just leads me to believe that he makes a lot of antiblack jokes in real life, and adds people he doesn’t even know.

  74. what the hell, i meant levin not ben

    stfu ben

  75. Bahaha. After reading all of these comments, I had to go check the last post to see what everyone was referring to.

    “Or maybe you all can go fuck yourselves, you have nothing better to do than over analyze every comment, scrutinizing every minute detail, I couldn’t care less for any of your opinions you douche bags.”

    Gold. Ben is clearly frodo.

  76. I want Adam and Levin. We can get a train going.

  77. This thread seems to be full of a lot of tight asses…and since everyone seems to need everything clarified, I don’t mean the kind you can bounce a quarter off of, I mean the kind that needs the stick (branch, log?) surgically removed from it.

  78. FARGH- I hate it when people like Juliet post that shit. It’s so condescending. If I went up to my boyfriend all upset and he asked “whose arse am I kicking baby?” I’d tell him to go kick his own for being so patronising. Fuck me.

    Translation of that tripe:

    “Every woman is the same emotionally needy stereotype, so when she’s acting like a pouty little bitch, pander to her shit completely. As a self-indulgent woman who believes that her gender accounts for the majority of her emotions and actions, instead of her individuality, I feel the need to broadcast this to the world because I believe 1) that men are too stupid to operate off basic human traits such as intuition and therefore need this crap explained to them in the most condescending way possible, and 2) that women need to read this and feel a sense of solidarity with myself and others based upon the fact that we all lack a Y chromosome. This is of course ignoring the fact that the only women who buy into this bullshit are those who say crap like “girl power” and/or suffer from an over production of estrogen. Excuse me while I go tell my girlfriends about my boy troubles, over estimate my own importance in the world and generally act like a self-pitying pain in the arse.”

  79. Ahah, I COMPLETELY agree with Gaybriel. People like that need to be shot.

  80. Not enough prescriptions in the world to help Juliet. Dan FTW.

    I don’t understand this one. Conor says “screw Haiti”, Levin thinks black people shouldn’t be saved, Devon laughs, Levin points out that he’s black. Does… …not… …compute. Next.

    Poor Jerica, lol, what a lousy name. S’pose the boys blow their horns, and her walls come down?

    To Ben, Chuck Norris is always first.

  81. insert clever name here

    @scottspeig & msjessiemeghan – Nice try at trying to not look like noobies. You say a person is Frodo, not a Frodo. There is only one Frodo.

  82. insert clever name here

    @Stix #16 – *applause*

  83. Damn it insert clever name here – I do all that insulting and you ruin it – why, why, WHY???

    On a side, I didn’t realise you can’t be A Frodo. I disagree, but there we go (if there is only one Frodo, how can we tell multiple people that they are Frodo?!?)

  84. lostintranslation

    @scottspeig: you clearly don’t have a pool.

  85. Ok really am i the only one who has noticed that Conor mentions he doesn’t give a shit about Haiti, and Levin goes into some huge racial whinge.

    How the fuck does he know Conor just doesn’t give a fuck about human life in general or hes so small minded he doesn’t appreciate having his tv time filled with news about the situation over there.

    People like Levin are more racist than people like Conor, just sayin’.

  86. i feel so bad for you ben, and also for all of you who are on this website 24/7. the reason why you are constantly on here posting comments and argueing is because you most probably look something like this:

    http://dfw01.umicache.com/p/purevolume.com/big/-226-1111954595-ugly_man.jpg

    you all seriously need to get laid.

  87. @alfied09…now why’d you go and post up a pic of your mum on lamebook? now that’s lame

  88. @EVERYONE! Can we please just ignore Ben? I think his is a fairy, like Tinkerbelle. And if we say he doesn’t exist three times he will disappear.
    “I don’t believe in fairies, I don’t believe in fairies, I don’t believe in fairies!”

    @scottspeig, Frodo is like winning a championship, you are only Frodo until someone else earns the title. You have to read the original Frodo post to understand this.

    @dcrearview, you are awesome.

  89. I forgot, I hate Juliet.
    But I will feel bad for her when her ass kicking boyfriend beats her up. Let us know Juliet!

  90. fuck all you haters, juliet is right on! you just don’t want to admit it because none of you are pretty enough to be treated as beautiful

  91. I miss Ben =(

  92. Third.

  93. Oh, damn internet.

  94. @dukeguy: “i could care less” is not sarcastic. it’s just a common idiom whose overall meaning has eclipsed that of its individual words.

    say what you mean, mean what you say – learn how to communicate.

  95. @the pompous retards who think “could care less” is a nonsense phrase used by lesser folk: “I could care less but I don’t care enough to do even that.”
    Or it could just be that people say it because “I could not care less” (which is an older expression) is a clumsy construction in the spoken language. No one really knows where it came from.
    If you think the idiom lacks clarity, try to imagine a case in which someone would use “I could care less” to mean “The amount I care is greater than zero.”
    If you can, you’re a jackass. If you can’t, STFU.

  96. @ 95. bbq burrito.
    The correct form is “I could not care less.” or “I couldn’t care less.”
    Saying “I could care less” means: I care ‘x’ amount, however, I could care ‘x’ – ‘y’.
    “I couldn’t care less” means: Because I do not care at all, it is impossible for me to care any less.
    I think what’s throwing you off is emphasizing the word “less” in the “I could care less” sentence. Try saying it “I COULD care less.” Ex. “My son is hanging around a questionable group of kids. I could care less, but as a mother I feel I should continue to care as much as I do currently.”
    “I couldn’t care less.” Ex.: “Do you want pepsi or coke?” “I couldn’t care less, just give me a drink.” Saying, “I’m totally indifferent to this subject, and the outcome makes no difference to me because I do not care about it.
    But thanks for being such an aggressive idiot.

  97. Actually when saying “I could care less…” it is supposed to be said sarcastically as in “I could care less” (I couldn’t possibly care any less).

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