Monday, June 14, 2010

It’s Pat

previous post: Gabe’s Second Day on the Job

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74 Comments

  1. BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN! BEN!

  2. Theese profile ones are lame…
    Ramen catholic…:’)

  3. life is bigger than lafe

  4. Presumably Ramen Catholics worship the Flying Instant Noodle Monster.

  5. Ramen Catholic? Is that a new flavor?

    What kind of berries Pat?

  6. YorkshirebornNBread

    no, no, no, no.

  7. GABE

  8. i seriously think that Pat cant be that stupid.

  9. “not 21 cant vote dont care” —- I didn’t realize that Arkansas had raised the voting age…

  10. ramen catholics believe that sacramental noodles are the body of christ.

  11. Did not want to right a comment, but I pushed threw n rote a hole one.

  12. It’s a whole new twist on Communion.

  13. yourinevitabledemise

    Of ALL the terrible English going on in this profile, I am very, very proud of him for using the correct form of “then/than” twice at the end there. Then the ‘love one eachother’ really caps it all off with a good snort of laughter. At least he’s still in high school. There may be hope for him yet. The actual grammar isn’t that bad. Hopefully he just doesn’t care about such ephemeral details as correct spelling. This kid sees the big picture.

  14. This is so wrong, in so many ways!

  15. Eh. I don’t really wanna mock this. Her spelling’s appalling, but she seems like a nice person.

    Sorry for going soft on y’all xD

  16. i dont know why yall be mean n shit. dis look fine to me.

  17. It’s actually a he ?

  18. Ha ha! If he wants to be a righter he might want to consider learning how to spell!
    At least the school held him back. Still he should not have gotten that far. FAIL for the school and his parents. Each expects the other to teach kids these days.
    And then they take their kids to the doctor and tell him the school said he has ADD. It’s called, be a parent, teach your children and don’t let their happy asses sit in front of video games all day long.

  19. Pat sounds okay to me. I don’t care if he can’t spell, he seems like a nice kid.

  20. There’s so much material here I don’t know where to start. So all I’m gonna say is that those are sone really deep, meaningful words.

  21. I think I want to convert to this Ramen Catholicism. It sounds delicious.

  22. I, for one, cannot wait to read the poetry book that Pat is “righting”. I’m sure it’s full of all sorts of emotion and heartache, such as playing video games, berrying grandfathers and loving one eachother.

  23. yourinevitabledemise

    I refuse to believe people like this spell like that all the time. They must think it’s cool, or stop caring after a long day of correct grammar and spelling. I know public education is lacking, but come on… I mean, COME ON. Teachers wouldn’t let them get away with that would they??

  24. Give the kid a break. Much a grammarian as I am, his phonetics shine through his linguistic inaccuracies with the honesty of what he’s posted. Bad call LB for accepting this as a submission.

  25. Does it make me a bad person that I laughed *really hard* at the part where he/she berrys the granpa? ‘Cus I did.

    Howaboot this one: this morning the receptionist sent me an email asking me if she wants me to keep a certain person “on hold for the time bean”.

    ::shudders::

  26. @itsyounotme
    I concur. Nothing motivates a person to wri… Sorry, right beautiful poetry like sitting down to play Modern Warfare 2 with a bowl of ramen.

  27. Ugh why do I have to login every time? I checked remember me last time.. stupid LB.

    Love the ramen religion XD This kid sounds like how my sister types online actually.. she’s mentally handicapped. Actually I think she types better o.O

  28. No katypants, it doesn’t. But berrying your dead gramps sounds really kinky. Apparently it’s pretty difficult to do though.

  29. “Righting” a poetry book? C’mon, this HAS to be a joke.

  30. Why did I say she? I knew it was a he. Damn it, now my comment looks like it’s all sarcastic and mean. And I wouldn’t want people on Lamebook to think I was sarcastic and mean.

  31. Ahh, nuff, thanks for confirming I am not evil.

    However, as freakin’ kinky that I am, and for the absurd amount of love I have for berries… as soon as you bring in death or gramps, I really don’t think it’s going to turn out well. Unless you have some vicks vap-o-rub and some adult diapers handy (you never know, right?)

  32. “hope the 9th grade dont take my other granpa” WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  33. I once graped my grandma.

  34. Krazy Eyez Killa

    Remember when I ‘berried’ my grandad, he had just put on a white polo shirt and wasn’t amused.

    Anyway, he’s a harmless enough kid, I don’t think he does see the big picture though, considering he was kept back a year.

  35. Katypants I clicked your link and I must say I am now in love. I am totally gay for you.

    And any bets on he won’t finish the 9th grade this time?

  36. Perhaps he will be the next ee cummings.

  37. Who do you gotta screw on here to get your stuff posted on Lamebook?

  38. No offence Katypants, but you could do a lot better correcting “you’re” own grammar on “you’re” blog than whining about this kid’s. Would recommend a book to replace “you’re” mirror maybe.

  39. “book i am righting.” LOVE that.

  40. HAHA! just noticed “ramen catholic”

    this guy is MORON.

  41. @dcrearview
    Ramen Catholic is actually a “religion” – look up Flying Spaghetti Monster and/or Pastafarians.

    Other than that – this guy is hilarious. I wanna read his book, hopefully he’ll “right” it soon.

  42. Phonetics or not, by 9th grade (13-14 YO) you should know/no the difference between bury and berry, ruff(is that even a real word?)and rough, right and write, ramen and roman. Hell, my 7 year old does. I am pretty sure my dog is smarter than this dude.

  43. hahahahaha people really ARE this stupid, and yes, it is possible for a kid to make to the ninth grade, twice, with this kind of spelling. welcome to America boys and girls…

    but really, i’m stoked to read his poetry book & i really hope the ninth grade doesn’t kill his other grandpa either, damn ninth grade..

  44. #44,

    Pastafarians? That is glorious. Well done.

  45. If this is our future, why I do I have to go to college for four years to teach these retards?

  46. Whoa, what happened there. Was supposed to reference europe_rocks, #41. Gotta lay off the pasta I guess.

  47. intheend, why thank you kindly ;) I haven’t swung for the other team yet, but I’m willing to give it a try.

    CuriousPencil, when I blog, I am frequently under the influence of severe wine or screwdrivers so no, my grammar is not perfect in it, and I don’t claim it to be. Also, I was not knocking on this kid’s grammar, I was giggling at berries. Just sayin’.

  48. I hate to be in a stick in the mud, but it’s obvious that this kid has a learning disability and isn’t just a simpleton. Doesn’t anyone see that?

  49. @48. I agree, kinda sad.

  50. Ok, spelling mistake lamebook entries are kinda boring and dumb. This kid doesn’t seem retarded in any way, he just spells really really bad. It’s not like he’s some gangsta wannabe caps locking every other key and ending all words with the letter Z. He’s also not some stupid 14 year old chick writing slutty crap in words with all consonants in a desperate cry for attention.

    Besides, the fact that his grandpa died and he got held back a grade makes this so sad it’s just not funny.

  51. The kid *may* have a learning disability, however I’ve seen enough stupidity from people of supposed normal intelligence that I can’t really tell for sure. If he does, it’s sad times and this should be removed.

    If he doesn’t, then it makes me ashamed to be from Arkansas. Just sayin’.

    Though, from my recollection, they didn’t really hold anyone back in the special-ed classes, which leads me to doubt the “mentally-handicapped” theory.

  52. krasivaya_devushka

    Awww :(

  53. T Rex on a Segway

    I actually knew someone that spelled this way and claimed he was writing a book… I just felt really bad for whoever was supposed to edit it….

    Ramen Catholic sounds amazing…. What do you give up for Lent?

  54. You Got Doddified

    Least he isn’t preaching how much tougher than the rest of the bloody universe he is, although I personally have never seen anyone spell ‘Roman’, or ‘berry’ like he did :’)

  55. You Got Doddified

    Oh shit, fail by mah.

    I meant ‘bury’. Gawd I feel lame now ¬¬

  56. Current city: Arkansas

    Where everyone loves one eachother.

  57. anyone that puts something THEY said as their “favorite quotation” all need to be neutered and spayed. That is, of course, the worst of this dolt’s problems, but it needed to be said.

  58. Favorite Quote: “People should use spell-check before posting anything that might make them look like an idiot. I mean, c’mon, it’s standard on most computers!”-
    -me

  59. MasterProp is first in line for neutering.

  60. Actually spay, thank you very much. But yes, I probably have it coming.

  61. This post made my day.

  62. how do you get your name to link to a webpage then?

    is it only people who are members of wordpress or have a blog with wordpress that can do it? could i link to a personal and non-organisational website?

  63. well blow me down with a feather.

    be careful what you wish for!

  64. lamefame, are you from Arkansas?

    I ask, cause there’s a Lafe, AR not far from me.

  65. couldn’t even make it past ramen catholic

  66. Grandpa died of shame. I don’t blame him. A retard grandson with delusions of poetry? I don’t know, maybe he’ll be the next Wesley Willis.

    “Life is bigger than life.” Maybe kid, but Jason London is still hotter than Jeremy London.

  67. RAMEN CATHOLIC.

    OH MAN I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING.

  68. @BritishHobo -Sarcastic? Yes, yes most assuredly. Mean? No BH, never that. ;) And for perspective, a wise woman once said “Tact is for those too stupid to use sarcasm”.

    @MasterProp -”The kid *may* have a learning disability…” (Shortened to prevent pointless repetition.)

    Though, from my recollection, they didn’t really hold anyone back in the special-ed classes, which leads me to doubt the “mentally-handicapped” theory.

    -Your led to doubt this kid has a learning disability? Wow, well either he does or you do. :D And yes, they mutually exclusive. For starters, yes they do hold children in special ed. back if they are not making sufficient overall progress throughout the course of the year. They also hold children in special ed. back in many other circumstances, such as a dyslexic child who is failing math. It is obvious he has a l.d. because of the vastly gaping gorge between his mastery of grammar and spelling. The reason for this being that the rules of grammar are minutely smaller in number than the amount of words he must learn and remember to spell correctly. Therefore it will take him much longer to become proficient at spelling. None of this is neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things though as even if he never got a lick better at spelling than he was when he wrote his bio., he would still have 95% of the population beat at being truly awesome. His character shines through every misspelled word.

  69. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    @ Nonnieyrissa – I could point out all the mistakes in your (tediously long) post but it’s fine – your character still shines through.

  70. He failed ninth grade? NO WAY! He should have failed second…

  71. @69 -Please do. :) And thank you, I know it does!

  72. friend request denied.

    The south should have been allowed to secede.

  73. Spelling aside I’m bothered more by the fact he thinks you need to be 21 to vote.

  74. Well at least that will keep him out of the voting booths a few years longer.

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