Tuesday, January 19, 2010

It’s In the D-Bag

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63 Comments

  1. Oh my god, at first glance I thought middle guy was black. STEP AWAY from the fake bake! What a douche.

    And what does ‘pump fist’ mean?

  2. Wait, did Alex teach his 8 year old brother to masturbate? I always thought that was a skill you just sort of picked up on your own. Was there a class I was supposed to take? Have I been doing it wrong all this time?

  3. That bloke looks like he’s had a fence-creosoting accident. What a fucking helmet.

  4. Tribal tattoos need to die. Unless you’re IN a tribe.

  5. Is it just me, or does his head sort of angle out at the top a la Bart Simpson?

  6. I agree Salliss. Unless you are descended from Maori or if you are still in a Tribe, then I like how people stick to their roots, but they look dumb as hell on skinny white gyuys [for example, being completely stereotypical here].

  7. Is it just me, or has that guy been tanning his palms too?

  8. that guy is toast!

  9. Here’s a video on how to fist pump:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6-eBFhPsxo

    Super lame

  10. Tribal is sooo 1999!

    ———————————-
    http://shirtordress.blogspot.com

  11. TRIBAL!! HELL YEAH!!

    I only hope #1 got fist and pump backwards.

  12. He’s white??!

  13. femarq-that video is making fun of the fist pump(which is hard not to do).Here is the real fist pump website by people who actually do this shit-http://www.guidofistpump.com/.All of this fist pump crap came off of mtv’s new show,Jersey Shore.

  14. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    Um, Mick, that’s not what ripped means as far am I’m aware.

    And you’re a tosser for getting tribal.

  15. If I’d been instructed how to “pump fist” I might not have gone blind. :-(

  16. I am fairly certain the man in post 2 is DJ Ronnie D from Jersey Shore. And it just makes it all the better for me. LOL.

  17. Dj Pauly D,not Ronnie.

  18. ThinkingInPictures

    I thought the DJ in Jersey Shore was the Pauly D kid with the insanely weird hair… Granted, I’ve seen the show all of one time, so I could definitely be wrong.

    Regardless, I think the tanning bed has cooked the gent’s brain :( Also, I’m really amused by people, like Mick, who are blissfully unaware of their own asshattery.

  19. I look at number 2 and see two things

    1) Skin cancer staring me in the face

    2) He seems to have scrawled a stylised toilet onto the back of his phone? Why????

  20. ThinkingInPictures

    Maybe it’s his best friend? He probably wakes up in its cold porcelain embrace often enough… ;)

  21. Pauly D looks less like Bart Simpson than this guy.

    @anonymouse, i also noticed the phone and am fascinated to know his douchebaggery knows no bounds.

  22. hitmewithyourrhythmvic, he means it’ll give him a bigger tattoo canvas. And yes, what a jerk.

  23. Wowee, shit-tats ahoy!

  24. Damn… I wish I had dudes tan with other dudes tribal tats… I’d be so pimp… panties drop just seeing my sweet leather tribals

  25. It’s a black Fonz! “Ayyyyyyy – sap.”

  26. It’s the guido in his natural habitat… quiet, now. You might scare it off.

  27. That black-caucasian is a maniac. Where would the tanning salon businesses be without idiots like him.

  28. Now there’s a juicy tan guido for Snooki.
    Sign him up for Snookin’ For Lova asap.

  29. *Love

  30. What is fist pumping? I’ve never heard of it in England.

  31. I bet that dude who loves the tanning booth will get skin cancer!! I can’t imagine what I would look like next to him.

  32. insert clever name here

    Mr Melanoma 2010! Way to rock the baseball glove tan!

  33. Guys, you’re doing it all wrong! By now one of us was MEANT to say;
    “What are you talking about sexy, you’re totally not pale, you look so hot and tanned baby!!”

  34. Ugh, hate Jersey Shore.

    Because of that lame ass show, all my friends (who are in their mid to late 20s) like to fist pump and GTL (whatever the f*ck that means)

    Worst. Show. Ever.

  35. He is darker than me! and i am black!

  36. tired of waiting for approval so i’m splitting my post up

    attention new jersey:
    maybe you just never received the facts, so here they are:
    –jersey shore is not a video instruction manual on how to act in public
    –fist pumping. terrible. however, it allows normal human beings to easily identify douchelings from a safe distance

  37. @beckyboo, GTL means gym, tanning, laundry. the ritual performed by guidos before going out that night. i lurve that show! it is awesomely bad!

    has anyone else noticed that because of this post, the SnapLinks have been bathing suit, douchebags, and community college??

  38. –all of your women are skanks.
    –your hair fucking sucks.
    –achieving an ultra dark, far beyond natural tan is not appealing to anyone, anywhere.
    –your beaches are absolutely filthy. google sand if you need a reference point
    –your bars suck, because the patrons suck. the combination of alcohol, hair gel, and tanning lotion turns the average spikey haired douchehat into the ultimate fighting machine.

  39. -the word guido is just fucking gay.

    I have been patiently awaiting a natural disaster to purge you fuckers from the earth. And that day still may come, but in the mean time, if you worthless fucks would like to kill each other off individually I’d be ok with that too.

  40. insert clever name here

    What the holy hell facepunch? Was your family killed by Guidos?

  41. lol nah. i’ve always hated jersey, but now that a reality tv show is glorifying these obnoxious people to the entire american public… i had no choice but to unleash the fingers of fury.

  42. Most of the people in the show Jersey Shore are not from New Jersey. And I’ve never liked “guidos” until I started watching this show. It’s hilarious.

  43. insert clever name here

    Ah yes, I hear ya. Could you unleash some of that on the Kardashians or the Real Housewives?

  44. That guido is practically black. WTF is he talking about?

  45. LOL, I happen to know the blacker than black guido in the middle. The kid, when I knew him anyway, was pale ass white with RED HAIR. RED. HAIR. AS IN HE WAS GINGER AT ONE POINT IN HIS LIFE. Yeah, I know.

    Everyone who knows him is convinced that he isn’t tan anymore, that the color is actually one big cancer. The tan that never fades, right?

    But seriously, the kid is fucked up in the head. He’s tanned everyday for 5 years. Sometimes twice a day. He got kicked out of a tanning salon where he had a membership for tanning too much. He got fired from a job because the said “clearly his work schedule was interfering with his tanning.”

    The worst part is that he thinks he’s hot. I could make an entire failbook website dedicated to every update he makes.

    To know him is to have endless amusement.

  46. P.S. He has legions of girls throwing themselves at him. They’re all as delusional and guido/ette as he is. We need to get these shit heads off of Long Island, ASAP.

  47. @insert – i have several targets on radar at the moment… but these fine new jersey specimens made it entirely too easy.

  48. @Guidohater – as soon as you mentioned the flock of skankgulls i developed a rash..

  49. @swverausc214: I don’t think any of them are from Jersey (I would Google to confirm, but the thought of looking at any of them right now is too much to bear). But the people who value going to the Jersey Shore are often from other places–namely, outer-borough New Yorkers who can’t afford/”don’t like” the Hamptons. Being from Jersey is not a requirement to be trash on the Jersey Shore.

    Unfortunately, this ridiculous behavior did not start with the MTV show, and will not end with it, either. The cast is only a small proportion of the actual guido population.

  50. the guy in the middle is mistaken. he’s not pale.

  51. he looks more Mexican than black, IMHO.

  52. Though I highly doubt it, the idealist in me would really like to hope that the tanning post got comments saying, “What the eff are you talking about? Get off the drugs!” from his friends that see how Blacktino he looks…But I won’t keep my hopes up.

  53. LOL @ Captain Obvious (50)

  54. @ that picture:

    is that even human?

  55. i want a good night’s sleep tonight so i’m just going to clump the explanation for both of those posts under “sarcasm.” those guys are in no way being serious and if you think they are, you’re from canada. i’m done with this, good night.

  56. He looks mad stupid. I’m pretty sure he and his friends have a bet on who can look worse than Keith Richards the soonest. Losers pay for the chemo.

  57. GrammaticalErrors

    He would make a lovely pair of knee high boots and matching handbag if you ask me!

    “It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.”

    too far?

  58. Hahahahaaa at Carlo

    ‘That guy is toast!’

  59. Are we sure that isn’t Mike “The Situation” of Jersy Shore notoriety? Oh nevermind, he’s not showing his abs so it must be some other Guido.

  60. I think I can say with confidence that the “made pale” gentleman has a body dysmorphic disorder. I doubt he’s being sarcastic.

  61. Ahem, “mad pale”*

  62. Agreed with Alligator3.

  63. wait…did I accidentally log on to Douchebook?

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