Monday, March 15, 2010

It’s All Relative

previous post: Have a FANtastic Weekend

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42 Comments

  1. I can’t wait to impregnate my lil woman with our lil nigg.

  2. Ger wins.

  3. Meggy is going to grow up to be a classy young lady. And mom for the win.

  4. One of those Hooters girls looks about 75. Tough times.

  5. @TheTruth

    At least she has on some thick, colored pantyhose. Makes her look damn sexy. I think she’s missing some teeth, also.

  6. Wait, why aren’t the hooters girls’ faces blurred out? I mean, I now they’re women, and thus, not really people. But still.

  7. know* (damn)

  8. What’s the over/under on Michelle being on welfare to support her lil’ nigg?

  9. This is going to make me sound old, but what exactly is a vag badge?

  10. cynicaloptimist

    You ALMOST had it mcowles, better luck next time

    Am I the only one that thinks of Invader Zim with the first one?

  11. Had it been 1942 Germany that “lil nigg” would really be cooking

  12. cynicaloptimist

    @not.ben- means he got laid for the first time. Upgrade from the v-card

  13. fromthelaststall

    uh way to not blur meggy’s last name.

  14. It’s nice to see supportive parents these days! David should be proud.

  15. @not.ben……u not the only one who doesn’t know…..otherwise I don’t think his MOM would be congratulating him on the badge!

    Must say he’s probably prouder of this one than any he got at boy scouts!

  16. vag badge. wow. I actually never heard that one before.

  17. @randomuser and not.ben, I would be willing to bet that Mom knew exactly what he was talking about. She may have had to google it, but she knew.

    These were kind of a meh way to start the day, but I did chuckle at the second.

  18. lol

  19. so it’s not like FB is private

  20. What are they giving her a free table dancing lesson for her birthday? Lucky. All I ever got were pony rides and clowns at my parties. Well I did get He-Man, She-Ra, and Skeletor at my 8th B-day party which was a definite highlight, but still… :(

  21. @Pedantrix, yeah Mememe beat me to it, that poor dear. Also, what the hell is she holding? It looks like lattice-topped pie crusts…

  22. mcowles you were SOOOOOO close!

    1. I don’t see anything wrong with having a b’day party at Hooters. They aren’t naked, and they do have good wings.

    2. and LOLOLOLOL at the Vag Badge one. That mom is tittes.

  23. Mom FTW!!!! How embarasing is that?

  24. I’ve got a birthday this week, and standing on a tabletop surrounded by some almost wearing orange shorts girls, is looking like a good way to celebrate it.
    I’m calling my mother to arrange it.

  25. Just be careful, word. Last time I was at Hooters I tried to take a picture of the waitress, but then she freaked out and called the cops, accusing me of assault with a deadly weapon. And sure, my pants were down at the time, but my penis isn’t deadly, it just looks like it is.

  26. Please come to my party Soup.

  27. and preferably with your pants down.

  28. I’ve never been to Hooter’s before. The orange shorts look horribly tacky. Old, faded wife beaters aren’t exactly sexy, either. And dark tan pantyhose to cover varicose veins and cellulite doesn’t sound too hot either.

    If you’re gonna make your waitresses wear almost nothing in order to attract customers, why not take an extra few days with some focus groups and pick a decent uniform?

    I’d still bend three of the four over, using hot wing sauce for lube, but it’s not due to their outfits. I just want them to burn from the inside out…

  29. @Soup, deadly weapon like nuclear armaments? Or more like anthrax (too small to see, but that doesn’t make it any less dangerous)?

  30. Soup’s genitals are covered in a fine powder, similar to anthrax. The taste is MUCH different, though.

  31. mc, that is sublime, thank you.

  32. @mc, is it Gold Bond?

  33. Sometimes I like to be fancy, so the excess from my powdered merkin will get all over my junk. And the deadly aspect is purely from the hair trigger.

  34. Do you use a piece of elastic around your balls to keep that on, or is it more like a gum adhesive?

  35. I just give all the blisters a good scrubbing. The herpes juice is usually more than enough to keep it in place.

  36. Oh, ew. Guess the merkin helps you keep it under wraps until you’re ready to score. By the time she sees your cleverly-disguised pustules, it’s too late.

  37. So they’ve deleted my comment, but not the unblurred name?
    Tisk Lamebook.

  38. *Sniff* It’s like someone is finally seeing the real me.

  39. I can’t make out what that little girl in the Hooters bar is holding…anyone else?

  40. @justbeingmiley

    They’re electronic bongos. She’s just playing them wrong because, well, she’s a girl.

    They’re serving trays.

  41. David B… my first thought was “i wonder if that’s my next door neighbour” (closet bi-sexual), then i realised the mother’s first name is not Cynthia. phew! hehe…

  42. southernbrunette

    McCowles – speaking as someone who’s worked at Hoots for the past 3 years, I invite you to check out the newest version of the uniform:

    http://hphotos-snc3.fbcdn.net/hs337.snc3/29484_123771647649343_100000495248947_267929_725156_n.jpg

    That’s the black version for Fridays, but there’s still the orange and white. Only now the shorts are styled like boyshorts and are very sexy and the shirts are cropped and have a sexier sleeve/neckline than the old tank tops..though some girls still opt to wear the tank tops, they’re being phased out..

    And justbeingmiley – The Hooter’s Birthday tradition is to sing the Hooter’s birthday song while getting the person having the birthday to stand on a stool, with two of the traditional Hooter’s wooden plates as their “wings” to flap and two of the employee cone cups in their mouth so it looks like they have a beak. We encourage them to flap their wings like Hootie the Owl during the entire birthday song, in an effort to embarrass them. We typically go easy on women and children, but if it’s a guy – normally we further embarrass them and make the song start over if they stop “flapping”.

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