Tuesday, December 1, 2009

It Just Gets Batter and Batter

it-just--gets-batter-and-batter

previous post: This is Your Status on Drugs

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68 Comments

  1. First!

    Also what’s a skeezer

  2. LOL
    In an odd way, I find the message to be a little sweet when he says “my mom don’t lie to me”.

    Cute.

  3. I like skeezers.

  4. 16 huh?

  5. I don’t know what’s worse…the idea of some dude sticking his “bird” (who calls it that?) in Listerine (ouch) or the fact that he is openly admitting to sleeping with a minor in a public domain…

    And Robb…you’re an idiot. No one cares if you are first…ever.

  6. I knew a girl in grad 11.

  7. @The Mapper- Actually, I care that he is first. I have been waiting all morning to get the coveted “first” comment. I went to the bathroom for 45 seconds and I get back here and he “firsts” before I do. So pissed right now. And don’t act like you don’t care, cause you wanted to “first” also buy you’re just trying to play it cool.

  8. If you care about being the first poster on a website, maybe it’s time that you just kill yourself…

  9. @ #8…so you are admitting that you have no life either? Congrats.

  10. You’re just trying to get me off my game so I will quit being first and then it will be easier for you to get the first comment. Not happening.

  11. When he said bird at first I thought he meant the girl

  12. Yeah Robb. You are an idiot. And we’ve also established that people who write ‘first’ are chronic premature ejaculators due to their selfish desire to please themselves in the quickest time possible. We know we should not mock the afflicted, but there are people you can talk to about your problem. Please seek help… and change your underwear after it has happened.

  13. Statutory rape..how nice! The guy writes like he is still in Junior High!

  14. I don’t know, the guys bitching about “first” is worse than the asshat posting “first”. See, there can only be one “first”. It’s over and done and out of the way. But the guys bitching about first… shit never ends. So here I am, continuing the cycle. Bitching about the guys bitching about “first”. When will it end?

  15. If only he lived down here in Australia, it would all be legal :)

  16. oh cumdog you are killin me this morning

  17. @AnonymousBastard-quit bitching about the guy bitching about the guy that is bitching about the first comments and let this end.

  18. hey, hakunah matatah.

    skeezer = slut, whore, floozy, loosey goose puss, promiscuous, skank, etc. (these can also be applied to males, well… maybe not the puss)

  19. oh.my.god. NOT LISTERINE. the sugars in that shit…joe…yr gonna have a sticky dick and a male yeast infection…
    at least at 16 she’s less likely to have STIs than she will be in 4 yrs.
    of course, you can have AIDS by age 16. seen KIDS?

  20. Lier, batter, brahs/bra.

    Way to go. You need to go back to high school too, Joe.

  21. lets be honest here now, I wouldn’t have been complaining about a 16 year old battering my sausage when I was 23 years old.

    I reckon Joe knew all along and is just pissed off now that he’s found out she’s shagging her ex.

    FFS – what age was this girl when she started doin the dirty?!

  22. A bit young for him i’d say but i’m not judging , 23 and 16 well i ve seen bigger age differences. Doesn’t sound like rape to me , and she sounds like an easy target – hey every guy likes a girl that gives the goods away easily from time to time.

    It’s a welcomed change from the wining (whining?) and dining you go trough with girls that are a bit more classy … some are worth the hassle , some are not … that’s the way it is

    Bird : In britain they use that often, correct me if i’m wrong

    And why is he calling his friend Bra ? Would he be a husky gentleman with manboobs ?

  23. Father Sha: I’m in Britain and we use the term ‘Bird’ as slang for a woman, never a penis though! haha.

  24. hehe lizzle , i m aware of that but thanx for clarifying it for the rest of the non island folk :-)

  25. This guys writes as if he is a 5 year old. I refuse to believe he is 23. I’m sure if there is a statutory rape issue going on here, it’s against the 16 year old chic.

  26. @Father Sha, as a British person, this leaves me feeling really confused. He washes women in listerine??

    Also, what are skeezers? Do they mean scissors? He washes the scissors out of his woman with listerine?

    I wish I could speak Americanish :-(

  27. I m as confused as you are come to think of it

    Can anybody translate this for us please , i m so out of touch with street culture apparantly

    bummer

  28. 28th!

  29. awwww dam I iz fail

  30. 29 – Position fail. The worst type of fail.

  31. facepalm.

  32. @28…I’ve personally never heard that term used before. Primarily because I hang out with people that are relatively educated and/or know accepted grammar. That being said, from the context clues in his “street jive” I would venture to say that this Joe guy would like to sterilize his manhood to ensure his lack of STDs (aka skeezers). Hope this helps.

  33. he’s clearly canadian with lingo like that. not very educated either, probably a hick. bird is cock, brah is bro, skeezers just implies like nasty dirtiness from some skank.

  34. Canadian’s know how to spell and capitalize. Unlike the douche bag who’s posted above.

  35. As a Canadian this shames me.

  36. My my my….a man being lied to and cheated on….stop the presses. Imagine the embarrassment of being taken for a ride by a 16 year old. Kind of makes me wonder just how much attention he was paying to be taken for so long by someone so young. If he was honest he’d admit that he didn’t really care how old she was. When a girl is 16 it stands out like the proverbial dogs balls. What confuses me is what the hell would a 16 year old see in a dopey turd like him.

  37. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    Confused about the ‘bird’ thing. Over here it definitely does not mean ‘cock’, it means ‘girl’.

    I’ve only heard ‘brah’ being used on Dog The Bounty Hunter. I can’t tell you how much I want JP to be Leland using an alias.

  38. if you worry about proper grammer on a message board on lamebook you’re the biggest fucking loser in the world period

  39. .

  40. I bet he lives with his mommy…and she did lie to him. You see, his mom wanted him to have a girl friend so bad that she went to high school and found the sluttiest girl she could. Payed her a couple of bucks and set him up with her.
    Sorry man, but your mom did lie…but don’t worry! she did it cause she loves you!

  41. I like turtles.

  42. I get why he’s pissed at her lying, she didn’t really need to though, she’s legal unless in America, but in the UK she most certainly is. When my boyfriend and I met, I was 16 and he was 24, now I’m 17 and he’s 25, not a huge deal.

  43. She’s legal in some US states as well.

  44. I suppose penis = cock = bird? Maybe…? I thought this was from the UK (until I saw ‘mom’), and that he meant he washes his women in Listerine. If they’re that skanky that you have to wash them in Listerine is it really worth it?

    Washing your penis in Listerine, however, is your own perogative.

  45. People who pronounce “bro” as “bra” are douchebags. People that not only spell it that way in writing, but also believe a nice Listerine bath will kill STDs, and further bring up their mothers in a conversation about sex with underage girls, bring douchebaggery to new heights (or lows, as the case may be).

  46. oh my god, i think he was being serious about puttin his bird in listerine too

  47. How, after 23 years of life, does this guy not have the mental capacity to figure out that Listerine is probably not an effective way to sterilize one’s penis? If this guy was 12 I would understand, but 23?! For fuck’s sake. I’m willing to bet his little high school tramp is more mature than he is.

  48. Ya they use bird all the time as an equivalent to cock on Trailer Park Boys (Canadian show – takes place in Nova Scotia)

  49. What is this guy’s issue with the letter E?
    It’s OK, it won’t hurt you…

  50. Even if this act of fornication is legal in another state where is his moral compass? With this guys lack of morality i would be confident enough to say the douche is still in highschool! Also i wonder if Joe was cheating on his minor with his mum? He seems to be backward enough to do so!

  51. “bra” = lame.

    Heh poor guy.. hope her parents don’t press charges or something. I mean it isn’t his fault if she lied.

  52. Thought I may as well post my two cents here. Usually browse the site and laugh not only at the dumbasses posted on here, but the comments amuse me too.
    Reason for my post is that as much as it shames me, this may be South African guys. ‘Brah’ or ‘bru’ is used by douchebags for bro (sensible madness was spot on!) Bird for penis is possibly correct : some douchebags hold their balls up against their penis and say it is a bird resting on eggs. I swear. Must be a South African thing. Another clue is the reference to ‘grad’ or grade – grades are used in South African schooling. Never heard of skeezers before, or the act of dipping a penis in Listerine?!? The fact that this 23 year old writes like a 5 year old retard scares the hell out of me. If he is South African, I promise retards like this are in the minority!!!

  53. @Niknak, he’s white then?

  54. @ mittens
    You are so very right! This guy only acted like he didn’t know. He just didn’t care to acknowledge, as long as he was getting laid.
    I think the real issue is that her ex is obviously better in the sack.

  55. Rules for dating underage chicks

    1. Pretend that you don’t have a clue, but keep it quiet… just in case.

    2. You’re dating them because you suck in bed, so don’t act like you’re God’s gift… or DO ’cause they won’t know the difference (present case excluded).

    3. Give your bird a dip after each encounter, just in case she’s been to Thailand.

    4. Skeezers are SOOOOO last year.

    5. By all means, be hurt and insulted when it turns out that she’s not THE ONE, ’cause that’s why you were dating her, right? I mean you knew it was true love, right?

  56. This guy is not only a total douchebag, but obviously a momma’s boy as well. I don’t know which one is worse.

  57. @The Mapper, 16 is legal in some countries, don’t assume everyone lives in a shit-house country like you.

  58. insert clever name here

    @Finn – Yeah, coz any country that says adults shouldn’t fuck teenagers is a shit-house country.

  59. 16 is legal in Alabama.

  60. @kookywhitegirl — Yes, it is. But my home state isn’t alone. 16 is the age of consent in the majority of the United States, as well as in Canada.

  61. I thought learning how to fuck was the whole POINT of being a teenager.

  62. @Anitalaff: I believe that sarcastic, but that comment has made the most sense so far!!! FTW (minus the adult scenario).

  63. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

  64. @49 TPB is the best fucking show ever.

  65. @Niknak, we use grades in America too. And there are guys who say “bra.” So I don’t think those things make him a South African.

  66. I’m in Newfoundland and grew up using the term bird for penis. I don’t know where or how it came about. I have heard a few of the older people call it “dicky bird” so it might have came from that. I always figured we got that from Britain as we use a lot of the same terminology and slang. We also use grades here, but I haven’t heard of anyone using “bra”…then again I have been out of the loop for some time, lol.

  67. @newfiechic, both of my parents are from Newfoundland :) we all now live in Alberta but all our relatives still live in the east. When I went to visit my cousins in Nova Scotia, I was informed that they used “bird” when saying a girls part (weird how it’s the opposite huh?).. and that was the first time I ever heard of that, I thought it was so weird. It must be a thing in the east to call genitals birds haha.

  68. He may know simple Math, but by christ he needs some help with his English.

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