Thursday, March 18, 2010

Info We Didn’t Need to Know

previous post: St. Paddy’s Day Wrap Up

RELATED POSTS:


54 Comments

  1. danica… sexy

  2. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Anal seepage WINS!!

  3. An aquantence of mine broke up with her boyfriend because he did not have flowers sent to her place of work on the friday before Valentines (because Valentines was on a Sunday). She only wanted the flowers to show off to coworkers.

    Basically, I hate chicks like that.

  4. Really Bobby? I can vaguely remember seeing stars when I lost mine.

  5. *acquaintance

  6. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Adrianna sounds like a douchette, she doest want to fuck the guy but she wants him to send her flowers so she can show off to her friends at work?

  7. Bobby self-submitted, so he’s out there reading this: Don´t worry, it gets better.

  8. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    BTW msjessiemeghan I didn’t see your comment while I was writing mine, but apparently we are thinking alike.

  9. Adrianna, the secret is to be a 9 or higher and date a 2 or lower. They’ll do pretty much whatever you want them to just for the privilege of smelling your hair once in a while in a thoroughly creepy manner.

    Unfortunately for you, you’re probably about a 4, so your only hope of getting a guy to do this is to date a chimpanzee (an ugly one…the cute chimps are out of your league) and teach him to order flowers using sign language. It could take a while, so if you’re looking to get flowers delivered within the next week or so, your only hope is to give up the goods. If your boyfriend is above you (5 or higher), you might need to let him do you up the butt.

  10. I don’t know….maybe its just me but Danica’s post is the funniest thing I’ve ever read on Lamebook. It was TMI and yet, a very helpful PSA. Thank you Danica

  11. Danica is obviously using the drug that is known here as Xenical.
    Girl, there are better ways to lose weight.
    People if you want to know, the discharge is oily and bright orange in colour.
    I had a friend who was using it, she had a Xenical/white sheet situation. Not good, and that stuff stains like a motherbitch.

  12. The horrible things I learn on this site…

  13. I'm Canadian Also

    Bobby can be a girl’s name

  14. Anal will get you flowers, a gift basket, and a teddy bear sent to work. Just saying…

  15. As long as it’s not anal with Danica…

  16. Maybe Bobby is a guy and he just lost his “black cherry”?

  17. Bobby as a girls name is usually spelled Bobbie or Bobbi – not Bobby.

  18. Go jools!

  19. @Jools

    One man’s oily, greasy, burning, panty-staining discharge is another man’s free lube?

  20. Oddly, Bobby’s analogy perfectly describes every sexual experience I’ve ever had, including the fact that hedgehogs were involved.

  21. I didn’t really thing Adrianna’s through, I just thought she was asking for the most specific piece of advice in the world. However, it turns out she’s just a bitch.

  22. thanks for the info Danica… Maybe you should try to lose weight by exercising and eating healthy instead of a pill.

  23. @BritishHobo: seeing as you’re the king of the interwebs, maybe you can recommend some other time wasting interesting websites for my time-wasting pleasure. (Just in case – I already visit toxel.com daily) It’s not that I’m necessarily bored with lamebook… I just have a lot more time that needs wasting.

  24. @Sensible Madness: You crack me up (no pun intended)! :)

  25. I have a few.
    fmylife.com is okay. Just stay away from the commensts pages. Unlike the awesome ones here, the people that comment over there are total morons.
    http://www.mentallyincontinent.com is the best. You’ll kind of run out of material after a while, but it’s great till then.

    On topic… eh… not much to say for this post.

  26. @mcowles

    I hope I never meet any of the latter.

  27. Matt, you have crabs

  28. JesusOnADinosaur

    Fmylife is the best site ever. But it is true, I can’t stand reading through comments. There isn’t one FML where people don’t start to fight over the most minimal thing someone said. Including grammar.

  29. fmylife is my therapy. When I’ve had a shitty day, I go there and I feel better.

  30. JesusOnADinosaur

    As long as it’s not filled with “I fell and broke my nose FML” posts.

  31. but the,’i fell and broke my nose while letting my boyfriend do me up the ass. we slipped on my oily anal discharge, and now i’m single,’ posts are awesome!

  32. shit, forgot to add FML

  33. #19 from Mcowles just made me cringe.

  34. I think Danica’s is a repeat…

  35. oki.. i’ve used Alli before.. but i’ve never taken 3 at a time.. i did take TWO at a time.. and HOLY MOLY! i had that stuff sliding between my thighs! and she’s right.. you smell like a mexican restaurant… which isn’t completely a bad smell but u get tired of it after a while.

  36. Pouty_Lips: I’m taking it, too. I accidentally took two once (couldn’t remember if I had already taken one, a count later confirmed I had) but there weren’t any excessive ‘side effects’. I’ve found that it’s the food you take them with that produces the ‘greasy results.’ Totally hear you on the Mexican restaurant. I’ve thrown a few pairs of underwear right into the garbage after ‘incidents’ and you would swear a burrito stand had opened up in there.

    Did you lose any weight (along with your dignity)?! It’s starting to make a difference after almost four weeks but I’ll never recover my dignity after what my husband has witnessed.

  37. OMG arent there specific forums where people can go and discuss their greasy anal discharges??? Now I have to type this through the vomit on my keyboard and I’m already tired of the smell.

  38. Walter Sobchak FTMFW!!

  39. JesusOnADinosaur

    Bahahahahahahah!

  40. Just the term ‘anal discharge’ makes me shudder. I need someone to hold me.

  41. mc, I wonder how many guys reading this would be up for having a greasy, bright orange dick afterwards, even if the lube is free?
    How bout it boys, anybody?

  42. I’ll hold you ee.

  43. gross.

  44. @43, I will assume that your comment is in reference to wordpervert holding eenerbl.

  45. LOL poor Bobby. Mine wasn’t quick or bloody. It was romantic and amazing XD

    To Adrianna: It’s impossible, so just send them yourself and it’ll make other guys jealous and more attracted to you!

  46. HAHAHAHAA.. I’m on Lamebook! Hilarious. Still taking the Alli, too!

  47. I really do love this site! I have plenty of time to waste, too, so thank you BritishHobo and gawds for the new sites. I go to fmylife already and it is true that the comments there do not compare to these. Lamebook’s comments are funny and educational!

  48. @word

    I’m sure you’ve all heard the “cheese puffs and porn” joke. Now there’s a “Alli and mexican smelling anal discharge” joke.

    Let’s see if it works:
    A guy walks into a doctor’s office with an orange dick…

    After many tests, the doctor is dumbfounded. Finally the doctor says “What the hell kind of sex have you been having?”

    The guy responds “well, I’m unemployed now, so me and my wife have only been having anal sex.”

    The doctor says “because of saving on the cost of condoms?”

    The man replies “well that and the free lube. My wife uses Alli.”

    The doctor replies “Ahhh, you’ll be fine. But now I’m craving mexican food.”

  49. The joke works mc.

  50. Oh my that is sooooo hot! Who wouldn’t want somebody with grease falling out of their ass. Not to mention I LOVE Mexican food. I really want Danica’s phone number. I’m sure she is the type of person with dirt between her tits and crust on her vagina. MMMMMM
    Crusty Vagina ( Homer Simpson Gurgle)

  51. @ mc: Nice one!

  52. oh, mcowles, pleasepleaseplease start a twitter account.

  53. Wow this is all just a bag of fun! Loving these posts.

    @mcowles you are just too hilarious. I think I will make my way here more often just to read your comments. xP I thought the same thing you did (about free lube) before I got to your comment. Then I thought, nah, that’s disgusting and they’d all have my head. Then I read yours and BUSTED OUT LAUGHING. The joke is AWESOME btw, but one slight problem. :( Alli is EXPENSIVE. If he is unemployed then it’d be cheaper just to buy condoms & lube over Alli LOL. Still effing hilarious though. (And I suppose one could argue, “well she still had some pills before he became unemployed…” yadda yadda.) You are a genius!

  54. lol

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.