Monday, August 23, 2010

Inebriated Updates

previous post: Daily Dilemmas

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83 Comments

  1. What is drunk or kid?

  2. rhs, a game that they ripped off of How I Met Your Mother.

    Lame.

  3. I love this post.

    Rockinghorsefly, drunk or kid is a game where one player tells a story from his past and everybody has to guess if the player was drunk when the story happened or if he was a kid. That was pretty obvious from the post.
    When I play the game with my friends we usually place bets with beer or vodka shots before guessing drunk or kid.

    Who else can’t wait for new HIMYM this fall. Barney Stinson rules.

  4. This is actually pretty cool. I never have heard of this game in my life – maybe I´ve been living under a rock.

  5. I think Laura’s is fake.

  6. Or Laura wanted everybody to know!

    I thought an explanation of drunk or kid might have made the post funnier for me. It didn’t.

  7. The game sounds a bit fun though…

  8. dukey,

    i don’t know what HIMYM is, but i wish we were friends in real life!
    i always enjoy your posts and your name makes me giggle like a schoolgirl every time i see it.

  9. Dukey, I love HIMYM and also the American schedules. This is the first time I won’t have to wait about three years to get the new season of a show…

  10. I was once detained by cops and agents for being suspected of releasing a rattlesnake in a high energy particle physics laboratory. Drunk or kid?

  11. Ha ha, that games sounds awesomely fun.
    Anyway, Laura should take notes from Matthew. He’s learning at least…. lmao

  12. aw soup, c’mon, as the king of cringe surely you can do better than that!

    how about:

    i played doctors and nurses with a six year old girl. drunk or kid?

  13. ooh a game :) mind if i join, alord?

  14. Soup, my guess is kid. I’ve always suspected you were a delinquet.
    Alord, definitely drunk. Everyone knows kids play doctor and patient, not doctor and nurse. One has a happy ending, the other, someone might just be needing a real doctor by the time your done playing.

  15. be my guest junebug!

    in fact, i’m just off to bed. but get the ball rolling. would be nice to have some funnies to wake up to!

    :)

  16. and nuff, you know me too well.
    oh, and you had me at ‘alord’!

    sweet dreams all. or maybe just me.

    x

  17. Ahhhhh, drunk kids!

    I made my own moonshine, and almost made nitroglycerin whilst in school (ironically in a biology lab, rather than physics) Drunk or Kid?

  18. sounds like drunk to me.

    i once ran out of the shower, down the road, made about a mile before somebody caught me. drunk or kid? :D

  19. Donning a black balaclava to frighten small children. Drunk or kid?

    I’ll answer it for you… neither.

    I just used to like doing that kind of stuff.

    Real talk.

    I know, I’m not playing the game right. Apologies.

  20. Nuff, you are correct. When I was 8 or 9, I liked to ride my bike to Fermilab. At least I can cross “get banned from a nuclear research facility” off my bucket list.

    Word, I used to tell the neighborhood kids that my malamute was a wolf. It was quite effective at keeping the little bastards out of my yard.

  21. Before anyone calls me a sadist (but I will accept lovable sadist), the small children involved are perfectly well-adjusted human beings. No lasting damage. We all laugh about it now.

    I used to tell them stories inspired by Clive Barker’s Books Of Blood to scare the pants off them as well. Good memories.

    Soup, I get that a kid might not be able to tell the difference between a malamute and a wolf. Good one.

    People probably think we’re sick, Soup. Oh well.

  22. I am storing up your ideas Word and soup. Not a big fan of kids. Your techniques might help keep them away, although my three Dobermanns already do a pretty good job.

  23. Sick? Us? Nah.

    So, I once had an old man bend me over and shove rubber implement up my ass. Drunk or kid?

  24. Catholic school doesn’t count Soup.

  25. Come on Soup that is obviously Kid. Everyone knows Soup doesn’t need any dutch courage to engage in sodomy with chronologically challenged individuals.

  26. Damn. I’m so transparent.

  27. Sounds like you would like my basement Soup. Just not with me in it.

  28. I need to re-evaluate my life. What kind of choices am I making.After a night of binge drinking I wake up wondering why I thought I was having a threesome with two hot girls and there is nothing but an over-weight, bald, middle-aged man saying last night was wonderful.

  29. By the way, Buns, I’ve watched quite a few episodes of HIMYM. It’s not a bad show. As far as current American comedy goes, it’s certainly one of the better ones on offer. It’s on our pay tv (cable) here – I should watch it from go to woe.

    TV sucks right now here in Aus. I’m revisiting my old faves on DVD, instead. Doing Extras at the moment. Go Ricky!

  30. Oh and by the way, I am a long time viewer and first time commenter. I’m not going to ask who Ben is but rather give MY take on who he is.

    Ben used to douche commenter who used to bag on people saying FIRST, 1st, or 1th. Then as soon as he got the chance to show what kind of hypocritically pompous ass he was, did the same. For which he was viscously bashed, raped, and pimped. But in all reality, he was not Ben, but rather Frodo looking for his precious. He now resides with his gay lover Stever and they do not own a pool. This upset Frodo so they adopted a a child by the name of anonisgayisgay. Which has come back to retaliate against alordslums for his confused sexuality.

    Have I perceived the situation correctly?

  31. It’s a great show Word. I tend to catch my tv shows online because I don’t have the patience to wait till they actually premier.

  32. @epicloser You are as close as anyone has ever gotten.

    BTW, what are you guys drinking/ injecting/ smoking/ swallowing tonight?

  33. If that isn’t a loaded question. (Pun intended)

  34. @dukey: some shrooms maybe?

  35. I’m more of “wait for DVD” kind of girl. I’m patient. I hate ads or any other distractions when watching a good series. So much more enjoyable. Some of the cable channels here have no ads during shows, but not many. Showtime is good. I can watch Dexter uninterrupted on that.

    Watching online… not for me. But I’m hanging for season 8 of Curb your Enthusiasm. I might cave.

  36. Hahn super dry, Buns. It’s always that or Stella.

  37. Lol @ epicloser.

    Junebug, shrooms are best when taken in daylight while outdoors. You get to hallucinate about being chased by caviar eating zombies while riding an invisible azure half bear, half eagle and yes another half lemur creature that sodomizes ….. you get the point

    Word nice, I couldn’t get any stella so I’m drinking Keiths.

  38. Personally I have never had a visual hallucination from mushrooms. I would have to say the coolest experience from mushrooms was listening to 5,000 people walking on gravel. I thought I was eating potato chips.

  39. 5000 people walking on gravel? … are we still playing drunk or kid?

  40. i think the drunk or kid ship might just have sailed.

  41. one time on shrooms my feet didnt work.i thought i was gonna die.the mascara on my face from me crying made it look like my face was melting off.then it turned into butterfly wings.weird night.

    oh,& one time my friends and i went around stealing lawn ornaments, not just a flamingo or two,we filled up the garage with the most random shit we could find.drunk or kid?

    ooohhh & tonight its dirty shirleys & oc’s.haha.

  42. Hallucinogens scare me. I’ve never been there. I’ve heard both good and bad stories. I like your story, Buns. That sounds… interesting.

    I prefer hyper-awareness of reality.

  43. @Epic: Very well done sir/madame. Whichever you prefer.

    Don’t get me started on shrooms.

    Just wondering if Matthew had to chew his arm off also.

    I better not do a Porno Birthday. Walter might say something I don’t understand again.

  44. ohbaby, I’d say you were drunk. I’ve done a similar thing, but I wasn’t drunk, and I wasn’t a kid.

  45. ohbaby, some of the craziest stuff I’ve EVER done has been when I was neither drunk, high, or a kid. That’s just me.

  46. no Porno Birthday? well there goes MY party spirit. *puts shrooms back into fridge*

  47. Really the only reason I didn’t is I didn’t feel like doing the work. I don’t just make it up.

    That and I felt like taking a tiny stab at Walter. I am sure he will be here at 3 in the morning telling me how I don’t have the comprehension to understand what he even meant.

  48. I promise I will make tomorrow’s extra special for you junebug.

  49. merci beacoup defectiveuser :)

  50. drunk.youre right.haha.it was the only thing i could remember that couldve been both.every crazy thing ive ever done ive been high/fuked up in something…or while attempting to be…god damn thats sad.its where i live,its terrible & the only thing to do is get shitfucked and do dumb things.its wonderful…

  51. Votre Accueil junebug :D

  52. Yesterday I did a poopoo on a piece of cardboard. With the back of a spoon I formed it into a bowl shape. Then I splooged into it. As I was painting my creation, I realized I had been inspired by defectiveuser’s Porno Birthday. The splooge represents the Porno Birthday crap and the poopoo represents it’s receptacle, the wholesome, family website that is Lamebook. I named my painting “defectiveuser” in honour of his foresight. I also spared a thought to my mentally defective uncle, who insists on pasting my horrorscope onto my facebook wall every single day.

    Drunk or kid?

  53. Sounds like you are being a overzealous hypocrite asshole between your last two post.

    It’s nice to know that you think about me during your scatological sex.

  54. Oh and I would have to say you were sober.

  55. You are on the right track DU. I was neither drunk nor kid, as my little fantasy is just that. It seems I do not have so much free time as you to devote to my filthy, crappy desires.

  56. I’m too drunk to say nothing … I mean that colloquially.

  57. My perversion comes second nature just as your bigotry. It takes my filthy mind no time to come up with my statements. It obviously takes nothing for you to say how much better you are than the rest of us. So you tell me Walter, what is the difference? Oh I know, you have to be abusive to make yourself feel better and all I have to do is crack a joke.

    I apologize that you will never know the feeling of empathy.

  58. Ya gotta smoke Salvia. That shit is fun as fuck. Now, imagine the world made out of clay.

    After getting locked out of my place, I started to wander around town for most of the night before ending up at a gas station where I ate all the food they were about to throw out at the end of the day, read the entire porn magazine rack, and hooked up with the girl working their later. Drunk or kid?

  59. RE:Nuff I smoked that stuff one time and said, well this stuff wasn’t worth fifty bucks! Whilst my friends were pointing and laughing saying it was. Apparently it was better than I remember.
    That is definitely kid!

    I’m beginning to think Walter should have my screen name instead of desecrating one of the best movies of all time.

  60. DU, the point is, as enjoyable as it is to some people, Porno Birthday doesn’t belong here. You can disagree with me but to me it’s the same as that “God’s greatest investment” crap and linking to Eco websites repeatedly.

  61. Correctomondo epicloser. Also, you have to get the 30x Salvia man, and try and hold it in your lungs as long as possible to get the best effect. The only problem is that the trip is short but lively.

  62. I’ll trade names. I think epi closer sounds awesome. My password is 1nthe4ss.

  63. Well Chippy, are you going to give me your password, or what?

  64. Just like my last ribbed anal vibrator, all promises, no fulfillment.

  65. I like Laura’s style!

    Anybody who is drunk enough to type like that is drunk enough to believe the shit that I will spout into her ear for hours on end in an attempt to convince her that letting me spray my man filth up her nose is a good idea.

    I once face fucked three of my cousins, all on the same day, but in different locations and without the others being aware.

    Drunk or Kid?

  66. That is a tough one lmamofo, But I am going to have to go with kid.

    Re:#63 The difference being is I am not lost in some hairy man cave. And what a coincidence, that was the password to your mom’s heart also. Oh and my password is 5pl1tw4lt3rsm0m.

  67. haha trick question!

    I was drunk and they were kids! (just over the legal age limit for which ever country you are reading this in)

    I bottled it at a paedophila joke. I feel i have compromised myself somewhat :(

  68. @ epic re #63

    don’t you think our walt would have much more success if he tried it out on his pussy…?

    only kidding walt ;-)

    you know we is tight. you can’t get closer to a man than when you embalm and stuff his wife.

    BFF.

  69. That’s kinda hot lmamofo.

    It’s kind of hard to when you have to fight the hairy hobos away. I can see why he would go straight for the ass.

    Walter, this is all in fun. It looks like you have enough enemies.

  70. Yeah, I have a have a few fans here, RAV. The King of Concisement there is one of my pets. I usually just skip his comments because I’m a slow reader and I don’t have that much time left in this world. But I do enjoy when he contributes with such classic comments like “shut up fatty.” He is a smart one.

    And good one with the “your mom” comment, RAV. I can see I would be wasting my time trying to out-insult you.

  71. tl;dr.

  72. The embalming joke wasn’t funny the first time you used it either :(

  73. joke….?

    :(

  74. For fucks sake, this was the one place I could visit without fear of infantile flame wars.

    Fucking retarts. You all suck (cock) {snigger}

  75. My comment is awaiting moderation apparently, here is an edited version and given half the shite spouted thus far, is tepid in comparison.

    “For fucks sake, this was the one place I could visit without fear of infantile flame wars.

    Fucking retarts.”

  76. … and you smell of piss.

  77. They started it…

  78. dirtylittlepretty

    after reading all of this…I have completely forgotten what the hell the post was about.
    damnit.
    i heart sick minds

  79. @nuff .. ‘smoke saliva’ Am I missing something or did you mean ‘sativa’ … yeah, eh.

    lol

  80. @nuff… sorry just realised I am idiot. But was is salvia?

  81. mass, I don’t know where nuff is. Last time I saw him he was laughing at/with me on some shit post.

    I’m no gardener, so I could be wrong, but I think salvia is a flower – well it is here, and it comes in different colours, like red.

    It might be something else in Canada, but only you lovely boys would know that.

  82. mass, because I’m bored, and I’m waiting for my friend to come over and cook me lunch, I googled salvia. It’s essentially what I said it was, and there are many different varieties.

    It’s aka sage, and is used mostly as an ornamental herb, but is used in cooking, too (I’ve used it). When smoked, though, it’s hallucinogenic.

    There. I’ve done my good deed for the day. But I only do good deeds for special people.

  83. Thanks word … I seem to be chasing you around today. I went to a newer thread to see you but we must have passed each other in the hallway.

    You’re sweet.

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