What’s the big deal? Back in the Mobile Home Community (MHC) we walked around topless all the time. The women wanted equal rights–something you city folk clearly haven’t heard of–plus who doesn’t love checking out a nice set of milk jugs? Children need to be fed and titties need to be sucked, it’s a simple fact of life. The finer folk of the MHC realized this and soon the Mobile Home Community for Womens Equal Rights and Breastfeeding Task Force (MHCWRBTF) was formed. The task force, however, was met with a whole slew of issues.
First was Teddy J, who was known for his adventures in stealing breast milk and replacing it with the bovine variety, while he stockpiled the bottles and bathed in it.
The task force caught Teddy J in the act and gave him 50 lashes along with three years in the JailerTrailer.
Semen Scotty was the second offender–the semen blended in with the breast milk wonderfully, so he would quickly rub one out into a woman’s stockpile so he could one day tell the child–on their 18th birthday–that they are gay for swallowing his semen.
Many residents cried foul at the fact that the task force would not assist inbred children. Equal rights are equal rights, and just because Judy K banged her cousin Wilbert, it should not jeopardize the welfare of the child. It could be argued, however, that Judy and Wilbert were on their 13th child and the force simply could not afford supporting another, and therefore had to create an amendment to protect their own.
Oh my God if my husband ever wrote something like this for the world to see… Why the hell do couples think other people want to know all the intimate parts of their relationship??? Some things are supposed to be left between the two. God! So gross!
I got shot down. One particularly interesting specimen didn’t know what it meant. Then I had to admit that I didn’t know what it meant either. Then I told her I saw it on lamebook.com. Then she said she didn’t know what that was.
Oh! Oh my gosh! Oh!
Make it stop!!!!
It starts out all mushy and romantic… then gets kinda creepy as he talks about his woman getting her tits out…
and then MILK CLOTS!!!???
My night will be plagued with images of Isaiah attempting to help his girlfriend massage out her milk clots.
@CT I made that argument a couple months ago and got flamed for it. I just gave up after that. People don’t want to have to check two blogs, plus I think the editors of Lamebook want to put STFU, Parents out of business, I mean they have almost every good STFU, Parents post double-listed on Lamebook already. Pretty soon there will just be one blog: LookAtThatFuckingAwkwardHipsterParentsPhotosInWalmartPostedOnLamebook.com