Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I Smell T-R-U-B-L-E

I Smell TRUBLE

previous post: On the Verge of Virginity

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88 Comments

  1. Lenin and McCarthy? Good God.

  2. It was actually pretty painful to read this.

  3. What? There’s nothing wrong with liking the famous double act of the Russian revolutionary and the Republican US senator. Leave her alone.

  4. I had a ‘tickel me emo’ but it just cried all the time. Tickling it didn’t help.

  5. Can someone send me her name? I want to get her started…

  6. I don’t even know where to begin with this one. :/

  7. I remember me and my nephew Jason would take the cart back to the forest, behind the Trailer Cutoff line. We would typically bring a couple of brews and some joints. I really liked blowing supers into his young, supple mouth. Sometimes I would get a quick lick of his tongue and use the ol’ “i was just pushing out the smoke” excuse. I remember one time he said “once u get me started, i have to go all the way” right after I snuck a lick in. That was one hell of a session. After smoking the joints, getting into all sorts of fun and truble, I put on some of his favourite McCarthy hits. He always said he liked McCarthy more than Lenin, and for those reasons I knew what we had would never last. He was all about the guys chicks and partying, while I was more into the friendz, familey and doing mi hair. It was difficult to get a chance to actually talk to him because he lived in a full house and wouldn’t come out much, as that fucking gay Twilight movie was all he wanted to watch. It took a quarter of the finest mary jane to lure him out. One time we had one of our sessions at 6:30, and planned the whole day out. Then, the little fucker broke my heart. Told me he had to go to his girlfriend Tiffanies house for breakfast.
    Save me your pity, I want my weed back.

  8. There is a great communism related joke in there, just waiting to be written.

    Sadly, I don’t have the skills.

  9. I love John Lenin almost as much as I love the Karl Marx Brothers

  10. I’m glad to know she’s going to rock out to AC/DC forever otherwise her future seems so unpromising.

    And she’s also one of those delightful young ladies who wants you to think she just might be a slut. And that she can’t be tamed.

  11. @ ajay

    Neither does Doug.

  12. Lenin and McCarthy? The great Communist/anti-communist singers?OMF…

    Actually that’s quite brilliant

  13. Go for it, scro.

  14. She cannot read but magically acquires the skill when Twilight’s the book in question? Something makes me heavily suspect she hasn’t even read that.

  15. Ladies and gentlemen, this is our future generation.

  16. johnston p hartnabrig

    Wow. So this is the best you guys have found? A misspelling?
    It’s obvious you guys are losing on material if the best you could possibly post was a misspelling.
    Seriously disappointing.

  17. Actually, Lenin and McCarthy could be a great name for a band, one of those ironic, intellectual, leftist bands whose members met when they studied political theory at a liberal college

  18. @Johnston, help us out. What is the one word that is misspelled?

  19. @johnston p hartnab It’s funny because she managed to misspell it into one of the fathers of communism and the most rabid anti-communist in the world. Read a book

  20. i’m pretty sure this person isn’t as moronic as it seems…my guess is the whole thing was meant as a joke. if not, she needs to be shot.

  21. Tickel me emo is suck a kickass band name.

  22. I’m sure all of your comments are really funny but…sigh…I don’t know how to red.

  23. *such

  24. Yeah, I think I have too much hope for mankind, but I really really want to believe the Lenin and McCarthy was just a really good pun.

  25. I think this person is kidding around.

  26. this seems pretty run-of-the-mill. nothing special enough for lamebook.

  27. By the fuck!

  28. She loves Lenin and McCarthy? Die.

  29. LoL @ by the fuck
    Why is AnonisGay everywhere?

  30. Doug, #9… HILARIOUS!

    I bet she has all 3 of the beetles CDs too. This bitch needs to die. Come on natural selection!

  31. Cuz I’m a big fag and like sucking dick!

  32. The reservoir for communist jokes is only so deep. I tried my best.

    Also, it’s not like there’s one typo #16.

    There are several, and if she likes all these things, you’d think she’d be able to spell them.

    She misspelled family for god’s sake.

  33. @ 29 Deb – it’s for his sanity. The more time he spends here, the less time he spends on Uncle Zeb’s lap.

  34. She can’t read Eric Carle books but she can read trash like Twilight?

  35. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lenin-McCarthy/dp/B001HAG8F8
    I’m disappointed it’s real too :/

  36. Brian – that’s sacrilege pal – it’s fokken Beatles you prick. You die…

  37. She sounds awesome. Thick as fuck, and an easy fuck. She’ll be a teenage mum soon, after she’s impregnated by another dumb fuck who can’t ‘red’ either.

  38. Lenin and Mcarthy? Holy crap, someone needs to sit this bird down and teach her about music!

  39. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Seriously if you’re just going to post every semi-lame profile, you may as well start investing in new servers now.

    The funny is stronger when you’re a tad more selective about what’s posted. I could browse fb for 30 seconds and find shit like this.

  40. Boo.
    She ruined that Alice Roosevelt Longworth quote.
    It’s actually: “If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”

  41. @Kid, HFS you must be soooooooo smart! Can I sit next to you now, bitch?

  42. @me

    Let me guess. You submitted something WAY funnier and it never got posted?

    See http://www.lamebook.com/dont-care-jordan #23.2

  43. I’m going to post a comment repeating what about 5 people above me have already said.

    Oh wait, everyone’s already done that.

  44. I am the Walrus.

  45. @Sixkiller yes, you may.

  46. There is some great material in this profile.

  47. Oh my lord, “breakfast @ Tiffanies” and “Some like it hott”. I bet she thinks “dat chik marylin manson or wuteva is soo pretyy”

  48. How she could spell “Alice Roosevelt Longworth” correctly, but not “family”?!?

  49. I know this girl personally and I’m debating whether or not I should show this to her… what do you think, should I?

  50. I am the Walrus,

  51. I would like to see her explain some of this.

  52. Alex, yes. Absolutely. While you’re at it, gently let her know that she desperately needs to invest in a remedial English class.

  53. @nick, Copy and Paste is a handy tool to make stupid people appear intelligent.

    The reason this is lame is because stupid people, particularly girls, piss me off. It’s simple: you’re either a hoe-bag or you’re not. Just come clean about it and quit beating around the bush.

  54. she’s also a whore

    “once u get me started i have to go all the way ;)

    LOOK AT THAT FUCKING SMILEY

    that girl will suck your dick for saying hello

  55. @alex

    please do! She’ll try to defend herself.

    It’ll be an epic battle of wits.

  56. $5 says she’s a sorostitute at some whack ass state college. Another $5 says the only reason half of those things are listed is because everyone else likes them. A girl like this watching Family Guy or South Park? Let alone listening to AC/DC or Led Zeplin. I think she’s only honest in her favorite movies & books, well and her ‘About Me’ obviously.

  57. I want to kill her STRICTLY for the Lenin McCarthy comment!!!!! Horrible horrible girl!

  58. Lenin & McCarthy is ACTUALLY the name of a band. They originated from the UK. They released the cd “the 25th of May” through the label BMG.

    But this girl is still dumb.

  59. Other than Twilight she can’t “red?”
    You don’t say….
    Though if you want to catch yourself an Edward you better stop going all the way

  60. Full House is her favourite TV show. That explains everything. Now back away from the fluffhead very, very slowly.

  61. My dream girl!

  62. No 25th may is the uk band and their album was Lenin and McCarthy

  63. @Lithi

    You leave Full House the hell alone!

  64. Meh, they’re not a patch on Stalin and Garfunkel.

  65. About Lenin/McCarthy:

    http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/11JimmyChen.html

  66. the movie twilight really blues

  67. wowzers i see what u did there

  68. I call bullshit. If your favorite TV show is ‘Full House’ and you say crap like “4 eva” you do NOT listen to Led Zeppelin and AC/DC.

    Oh wait, she says she likes “led zeplin” and “acdc.” Those must be different bands entirely. My mistake.

  69. Am I the only one who thinks this screams undercover officer? Start with some very intelligent word games, throw in a few misspelled pop culture references, and add sexual innuendo. Represent as an underage girl, and sit back and wait.

  70. I agree with double agent – impersonations of children by adults are both obvious and super-creepy, whatever their motivation.

  71. I know this little girl. her e-mail address is projectlolita@metro.co.uk. she really goes all the way!!

  72. It makes no sense:
    It’s either cliche or contradictory

    She’s probably a policeman masquerading as a slutty under-age tart

  73. sigh…

  74. Lenin and McCarthy? Really? *internet slap*

  75. Obviously, no one got her started on spelling and grammar lessons.

  76. Books: Twilght other then that i dont know how to red

    Yeah, you don’t really need to know how to read to be able to read Twilight.

  77. LENINIST S/DOB!

  78. Haha! Favourite music: Lennon and McCarthy! Bloody idiot.

  79. You’re out of your element, Raab.

  80. Damn communist!

  81. This is every dumb wench’s profile.

  82. “Twilight, but other than that I don’t know how to red”

    I swear to god, I just about cried.

  83. It’s really chris hansen’s undercover profile

  84. In Soviet Russia and McCarthy America, music listens to YOU!

  85. This person has just ruined Three Days Grace, Led Zep and AC/DC forever.

  86. holdmeclosertonydanza

    Doug said it best.

  87. I Spell trouble.

  88. Ok…Twilight and Breakfast at Tiffany’s should not ever be listed together. For any reason. EVER.

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