Friday, July 31, 2009

I Sense Sarcasm

Thank You 1

Thank You 2

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80 Comments

  1. LOL “vain of my existence”

    Man I don’t even know who is the biggest douche. The girl is a slut for cheating, the ex is an idiot for pretending he’s not jealous, acting superior when he’s really a moron and calling her fat. The new bf is a dickhead for threatening to slit his throat and burn his house down and actually describing in detail how he will do it.

    They’re all a bunch of douches.

  2. Why are people praising kyle? They’re both incredibly lame.
    Word of advice, if you’re going to sound high and mighty going on about your superior linguistic abilities, you better proofread to avoid looking like a total moron….. those typos can sure be the vain of your existence.
    Not to mention the fact that this guy probably spent an hour writing this long letter to describe how “totally fine” he is. He’s only making himself look pathetic by laying on so many insults about his own ex – a YEAR later. Especially calling her a liar for saying she was raped. Gee, what a supportive boyfriend he must have been; can’t imagine why she’d want to cheat on him. I can’t stand guys who don’t understand how rape works.

  3. Wow, Jordan sure told Kyle off. <– also sarcasm

  4. Jordan, by even replying, comes off as just as pathetic as Kyle; by responding like a ‘suburban-hip-hop-gansta-“I’mma f*ck you up, yo”‘ makes him the less respectable of the two in this exchange, not to mention put yourself in an awkward legal position (were I to receive a threat like that over the internet, I would say “try it”, or something equally laconic, to call the bluff). He mentions that he is in College although I’m guessing it is on some kind of scholarship that they give to high school seniors who have let their steroids go to their heads before the Jack Daniel’s (wait until the football dream doesn’t work out and you’ll be having a good cry while shooting pigeons on the roof)

    Finally Moving on: Kyle, with the exception of the Bane/Vain errors, you seem like you could have a future in writing. I can see how this has really hurt you and your expression of it was clever and sarcastic enough, I thoroughly enjoyed it and with the exception of the Bane/Vain errors, you seem like you could have a future in writing. Nevertheless, writing this will not help you get over her, the best thing to do would be to let it go, because you come off as pathetic to your testosterone-filled peer, the so-called “whore” he stole from you, and all of us on lamebook. If it’s really bothering you that bad, it’s time you discovered alcohol and cigarettes, and saved those cleverly cutting remarks for release in small doses when you get the chance to talk to this muscle headed fellow in person. You simply come off as way more confident that way.

  5. Who the heck doesn’t want to watch Dark Knight? That’s crazy.

  6. Jordan could’ve won that argument by replying with nothing but “TLDR.” Instead, he went for a more wordy reply, and now he looks like a retard. There’s a lesson in that.

  7. Some of the things Kyle said were fairly lame, but Jordan is incredibly stupid for threatening Kyle in an email (clearly a bright one) and i love the whole ‘beached whales’ thing so Kyle wins. Also, i would just like to add that people who put so much thought into these comments are awesome. Keep up the good work folks.

  8. btw, well done pleasant jones. You are totally right. How does a person not get that it works the other way aswell?

  9. Although Kyle was a bit lame, Jordan is just a prick. Threats? And hello, The Dark Knight was totally cool.

  10. I’ve concluded that this girl must truly be a hideous whale if her top 2 choices are these 2 losers. Hopefully she enjoyed the “sucking my dick and to think you probably kissed those same lips the same day” comment as much as I did.

  11. Kyle wins. It took me like 10 minutes to read all of this, and the only clear thing is Kyle’s inate desire to win. And he totally 100% wants her back. The whale thing almost made me pee myself it was so funny.

  12. At first I was like, holy shit I’m not reading this. But then I did.

    And now I’m confused as to the whole situation. Is Kyle’s girlfriend bisexual and was stolen by jordan who is a female?

  13. Connor just won this battle (no sarcasm). I was confused as well but then I realized Jordan is a guy .. I think …

  14. Kyle and Jordan were obviously friends first. Why else would anybody write a 12 page letter to someone regarding their ex-girlfriend from over a year ago!?! Ashlee sounds like a slut, Jordan sounds like a stupid jock, and Kyle sounds like a girly boy!Lame post!

  15. This started out as: amazing.

    It ended: slightly disturbing.

    (Yes, lets all tell people we hate how we’re going to kill them slowly and painfully – including detailed methods.)

  16. Yeesh, I hope these two are taking a few pre-law courses. Then hopefully they can at least learn the definition of sexual assault and utter threats.

  17. Do you have to believe you are batman to watch the dark knight? This Jordan guy’s an idiot….

  18. has any one been charged for the facebook equivalent of uttering threats yet?

  19. I thought Kyle was being a complete arsewipe claiming intellectual superiority after I read his initial message. After I’d read Jordan’s reply, I realised he wasn’t deluded afterall.

  20. good grief. too many words! after experiencng this over and over again i resort to an old chinese pearl of wisdom: if a man steals your wife the worst punishment you can give him is to let him have her!

  21. Why on earth are people looking for a winner between these two? They’re clearly both pathetic, immature losers.

  22. The shallow end of the gene pool.

  23. LOL does kyle have a life??
    seriously why take the time to write all that to your ex gfs new bf?

  24. how does he claim to be well read ? farther from the truth ? hello. it’s further..not farther. he could possibly hv meant vain of his existence tho..possibly…somehow…

  25. Both of these guys are lame, however if your looking for a winner its definitely Kyle… because Jordon thinks The Dark Knight is for 5 year olds… O.o who doesnt love batman?

  26. miidnightrain4590

    Dark Knight was awesome Jordan McFatface can quit hatin’

    but really “vain” of your existence ? you shoulda proofread bro

  27. I’m actually kind of mad that Kyle took the time to write that long ass note. Granted it was obviously dripping with sarcasm, but it does make him seem like he wants her back… just saying

  28. Up until the middle of the second paragraph I really thought Kyle was gay and writing to an ex boyfriend. The whole part about stealing his girlfriend shocked me. Jordan shouldn’t have slept with Kyle girlfriend but if Kyle can still be this angry and hateful after a year I think he needs to step away from the computer and take a good long look in the mirror. Work on improving yourself before you call someone else a loser. This last sentence applies just as much, if not more so to Jordan. Trying to read his response made my head hurt.

  29. Kyle needs to get into protective custody ASAP – Jordan’s state college connections… I’m sure that’s like some “Donny Brasco” shit right there. Kyle better watch his back. Those thugs that work in the Student Union don’t play – just ask Jimmy Hoffa.

  30. i was possibly gonna consider giving jordan the benefit of the doubt but then he dissed on batman…

    …wanker

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