That faggot Gerald better shut the fuck up. I’m busy fucking his mum and sister hardcore while it sounds like he’s enjoying a suck-job from his boyfriend. My cock and balls are in this milf’s throat right now, she really knows how to give a sloppy blowjob. Meanwhile my tongue is up this teen pussy, licking her juicy snatch dry.
#3 He’s just a bit of an exhibitionist. He wants the internet to know exactly what time on this day he was jerking off. It’s better than the alternative. He could be out in public traumatizing children and old ladies.
#1 A tip for you and not because you deserve one but more because whatever poor drunken girl that makes the mistake of popping your cherry doesn’t deserve the pain. Licking that particular body part dry is in fact the opposite of what you want, in fact in some cases women don’t generate their own lubricant for medical reasons, lube is always your friend. Just saying.
I’m sorry to any die-hard fans that this may offend, but I didn’t need to read Elsior’s comment to know he’s a virgin, a very sad one at that. He is obviously an Elf aiding in destroying the one true ring and has no time for women, instead spending his time with small, hairy men.