Thursday, October 15, 2009

Hung Up on the Past


previous post: I See London, I See France



  1. Heather seems a little psycho…

  2. no wonder james aint marrying her


  3. Can’t believe he hung himself AND passed away

  4. @Jane:

    I loved that. Made me giggle. Good work, keep it up.

  5. Ugh. I can’t even deploy snark @ Heather. What a deeply unpleasant person. Calling someone whom she presumably once loved, who then committed suicide, an “a-hole.” She has neither heart, nor manners. I haz sadz.

  6. @admin: Sorry to be hyper-sensitive, but I humbly submit that re-broadcasting such an unsavory exchange diminishes us all. I can’t quite put my finger on why this offends me so much. I figure some things ought to be off-limits even on Lamebook, am I right? It’s like that SCOTUS judge’s explanation of pornography: “I don’t know what it is, but I can tell when I see it.”

  7. Run James, RUN!

  8. I feel sorry for James.

    He’s smart enough not to marry the loon, anyway.

  9. My goodness, that took a sharp left turn.

  10. James better get his act together or he’ll wake up with no balls and his bunny in the cooking pot.

  11. wow.. nightmare girlfriend
    and who says “dorkbutt”?

  12. haha i was just reading a nice little story about a girl wishin her boyfriend would propose… when suddenly i am blindsided with a slut, a suicide, and an incredibly violent soulless bitch.

  13. @sarcasticmeow: The difference between pornography and art is the desaturate effect on Photoshop.

  14. Well this went from “zero” to “holy-fuck-what-the-hell?” in about 2 seconds flat. I can just see them at the dinner table:

    (Mozart plays softly in the background)

    Heather: “I say, James, can you please pass the salt?”

    James: “Of course, in just a moment, dear.”

    Heather: “Oh my god James hand me the fucking salt NOW dorkbutt or I’ll fucking BRAIN you!!!”

  15. JAMES


  16. You know what I never see. I never see:

    “My boyfriend left me for another girl. She seems nice enough.”

  17. MannequinSkywalker

    Jane FTW.

  18. James, hire a girl athlete, pretend she’s the girl you are cheating on heather with, let her find you two. The girl can run when Heather tries to beat the crap out of her. And you do the same.

    Two cents.

  19. Gosh, who wouldn’t be in a rush to marry her.

  20. @sarcasticmeow #6

    I think this wouldn’t be so awful if her ex hadn’t committed suicide. It’s talking ill of the dead that’s the worst part in this whole scenario. Not gewd.

  21. Hmm, while someone’s death doesn’t mean you have to upgrade your opinion of them if you had reason for your dislike, but it does kind of indicate that now’s the time to stop talking about it.

    In other news, what a group of fucking desperados. It’s women like this lot that make the entire female species look like hags just waiting to pin a man down :S Either accept that he’ll propose (or not) in his own sweet time, or move on!

  22. Married at 18
    To a cheater who is now
    Hung like a convict

  23. do women like to get married or sumfin?

  24. The shock here is not that her ex committed suicide, it’s that he didn’t do it when he was obliged put up with her. Just reading her comment inspired me to take seventeen Tylenol.

    In other news, could someone call 911?

  25. This is just absolutely appalling.

    It’s “hanged”, not “hung”.

  26. @Dorkbutt

    That would have been funny if you hadn’t failed grammatically…

  27. Haha! You were right…

    That was funny

  28. you are a boob

  29. I can’t agree with #15 enough… run James run! She’s obviously not mature enough to get married.

  30. @ Dorkbutt

    Thank you; beat me to it.

  31. @Dorkbutt & @Dave: Aye. Surprised it took until comment 25 until someone mentioned it though!

    Lamebook commenters are slacking! No grammar/spelling complaints at all until comment 25?! Come on people! Wake up!!

  32. Oh god, James, run for the hills.

  33. hung himself and passed away lol

  34. heather should have hung herself,not james

  35. You didn’t learn anything from the first time, heather?

  36. Aside from the weirdness of Heather’s last post, what is up with Ashley? “he won’t do it until he’s ready…men are clueless”

    So you’re clueless if you don’t get married before you are ready? Nice logic you got going there, girl.

  37. Just another case of a grown woman acting like she is 14. What happened to women in their 20′s that they feel like they have to regress back to be being a teen? Used to be that women matured faster than men, now it’s like they are trying to completely destroy that sterotype. Explains why there has been the rash of female teachers sleeping with students the past coupel of years. It’s like they can only connect mentally with teens. Men the same age are too mature for them.

  38. Heaven forbid someone wait until they’re READY to get married. How clueless do you have to be to do something logical like that? What a fucking dorkbutt.

  39. Uneducated people get married younger. Educated women tend to wait. This should tell you something.

    James, run. Run fast and keep running.

  40. @Jane LOL

  41. I hope James saw this and broke that shit off. I love her girlfriend saying she’d badger him if she knew him as well – uh, it’s her second marriage, no one cares.

  42. @Boz

    My ex left me for another guy. He seems nice enough. Her, on the other hand, is a total and complete bitch.

    Is that what you meant?

  43. Ohhh you know why she wants to get married so much don’t you? So she can say she got married on the tenth of the tenth of the tenth – *shudder* doesn’t seem to be for any romantic “I’m in love with my soulmate” reasons!!! Let’s hope she doesn’t procreate (she’d probably eat her young anyway).

  44. @odonata

    unfortunately she has 2 kids w/ this James. . . I wish lamebook would have posted the rest of the convo, she went on to say the girl that cheated got pregnant and was preggers when he died and now Heather has “a 7 or 8 year old step son who she’s never met” umm how does your (dead) ex husbands girlfriend’s kid become your step kid?? For the record this is one of those “friends” who I went to HS w/ but was never friends with and only keep her on my friends list because of her classic status messages. When she has another crazy post I’ll send it in!

  45. “…he’s such a dorkbutt…” [but i want to marry him anyway]

  46. aahahaha, I want her on my friends list!

    It doesn’t make him her step kid, you’re right. What does it make him? Just the dead exes kid?

  47. Menace to Society

    “He was happy with me” But Heather , he left after 2 1/2 months!

  48. This one kind of messed me up. Really… I was ready to make fun of her for begging to get married. Now… now I want to do something better with my life.

  49. Run James! Run!!!!!

  50. I showed this to my boyfriend. Just to let him know he could do much, much worse.

  51. classy

  52. wut.

  53. THATS a dealbreaker.

  54. i will never marry her. she is fucking insane.

  55. It wonders why it isn’t married

  56. That bitch is insane.

  57. These women hear circus music. All the time.


  59. lamebook gold

  60. There’s a treasure trove to say about what’s wrong with this

  61. Heather does not know the meaning of ‘TMI.’

  62. @37 it goes both ways… society is deteriorating.

  63. @12
    I totally agree! holy shit your post made me laugh out loud!
    That chick is nuts

  64. You had me at dorkbutt..

  65. @Ola I now have to clean dr. pepper off my screen and keyboard…

  66. Uh, if he says he doesn’t want to marry her and will only marry her is if she signs a prenup, he obviously doesn’t take their relationship too seriously. The fact that she STILL wants to marry him, and thinks that badgering him into it is the way to go, completely dumbfounds me.

    My god woman!!! “If he wants me to sign a pre-nup, means he doesn’t love…”

    If you don’t want to sign the pre-nup…that only means you in the relationship for the money!!!Fucking gold-diggers!!!

  68. Doesn’t make her a gold-digger. Just means she loves him enough that she honestly thinks it will never end and doesn’t even want to consider the idea of divorce.

    Of course, depending on what kind of relationship they have, this is probably rather naive. But you never know – could be “true love.”

  69. deffinatly doesn’t mean she’s a gold digger, It would really get under my skin if I was asked to sign one.
    If you love your parter enough you wouldnt want her to sign one.

    Plus, there is nothing wrong with her, people who commit suicide are selfish, kill themselfs to run away from problems, when they can be fixed. There are certain reasons for it to be not so selfish, – rape and ect but, killing yourself over a female, fuck that shit.
    now thats LAME

  70. She’s at least 23 and calling someone a ‘dorkbutt’. Also she’s been with her new guy almost 6 years and ‘loves’ him enough to marry him, yet she’s still very bitter about a guy who did her wrong at least 5 years previously and is now dead. Not only that, but she’s bragging about beating someone up over it?

    Oh my life. She is a fucking psycho.

  71. Dear Heather, when he said he didn’t want to get married he did not leave off “…for another 5 years at least” . He ment he didn’t want to get married to YOU.

  72. “He won’t do it til he is ready, men are clueless.”

    And it’s idiots with this mentality which is why divorce rates are so high.

  73. WikidJuggaloPanda

    @3 Jane: EPIC fucking win

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