Monday, December 21, 2009

Hooked!

hook-up-list1

hookup2

previous post: Another Case of the Momdays

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248 Comments

  1. What a FUCKING SLUT BITCH.

  2. The most beautiful thing ever… I don’t even care if it’s fake. its glorious.

  3. hahahaha that’s hilarious in a kind sluty bitchy way !

  4. ngl that was so lol

  5. Priceless revenge!

  6. Holy shit Chris ur my hero

  7. I just saw the names tagged. I want to see Brian’s comment!!!

  8. @PoisonedV -I totally agree… Epic win for Chris, Epic loss for Katie:)

    @Kiwi -You spelled slutty wrong

  9. Yes Katie, it’s clearly Chris’s fault that everyone knows you’re a slut now. Giving out BJs like candy from a parade float had nothing to do with it.

    Of course, if Katie really had done the things she claims to have done on this list, everyone would already know she was a slut anyway, so posting the list would be redundant.

  10. STFU Kiwi

  11. SO funny SO evil… i like it!
    katie could have at least pretended it was fake.. oh the shame she brought upon herself!

  12. Now that’s what i like to call “retaliation”

  13. @ Kiwi as you are a mouth-breather this should prove fatal

  14. Eric just won at life. I hope he locks his bedroom door.

  15. Adamn go suck a dick. I won’t even make an effort to insult you. Feel free to make an ass out of yourself.

  16. wow – what the hell is she doing with a list like this anyway?!

    Btw – maybe it’s because I’m not in the states, but was is ‘v-card’?

  17. Amazing! Provided this is real, Katie brought it on herself.

    Maybe next time she’ll think twice before throwing her brother under the bus… Whatever happened to sibling loyalty?

  18. sorry, *what is

  19. Eric, you win. Pwned, little sister!

  20. V-card = virginity.

    I like how Katie is giving it to more than one guy… Like it grows back after you lose it.

  21. It looks like one of those people whose name was crossed out was… No.8 Ryan Pecker, who apparantly used her like a horse uses a feed bag, and did it well too!

    Lets all have a round of applause for Ryan Pecker Cunt Muncher Champion ’09!

  22. People – we’ve got us a troll. Ignore them and they go away.

    What is a V-card? Why don’t I know what it means???

  23. “V ” stands fro virgin ,holding the V card means you’re still a virgin.

  24. QueenBee i hope this helps:

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=V%20card

  25. @Super-Mario: Thanks. Good info. Now I know why I didn’t know that.

  26. V-cards virginity. Judging by it being used multiple times I assume she meant taking other peoples virginities, or she changed her mind about who she was gonna have take hers

  27. Supermario –

    She says ‘maybe V card’, so I guess it’s whoever she gets to first!

    I want to know how the parents react. Apparently, asian parents are strict.

  28. runningwithscissors

    what am i missing…who’s Eric?

  29. Katie only did the ones that are crossed out. The rest are things she hopes to accomplish this year.

    GO KATIE GO!!

  30. Cheers Gripper :)

  31. @ kiwi, You just prefaced your comment about not bothering to insult me….with an insult. How something so stupid is able to maintain itself for so long baffles me.

    Seriously just tell the nice person typing for you thanks for making me sound half coherent and kindly end your pain.

  32. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    This is incredible. I used to know girls that had a list of things they’d done with guys, but not things they hoped to do with guys.

    Katie, sorry love, this is wonderful.

  33. This. Is. Awesome. Chris – will you marry me?

  34. Does anyone have Katie’s number?

  35. @swankys, it’s ironic that you would claim that Mnic is “as cool as a internet-arguing-LOTR-geek-grammar-nazi can get” when you followed him like a fucking golden retriever whilst meticulously copying and pasting his every statement.

    Congratulations, you can copy and paste and have the time and energy provided by a lack of a social life to accomplish a fully documented retort on lamebook complete with bibliography.

    You’re also a hypocrite and a complete dumbass.

  36. Chris is the beacon of hope we all need in such dark times.

    Thank you for showing us the way Chris.

  37. Chris FTW

  38. This is EPIC.

  39. OMG this is so mean it is priceless. Nobdy can stab you in the back as cruelly and effectively as a sister.

  40. RubyPuppateaux, but I wanna marry Chris. Guess we’re in trouble now.

  41. oh my god i only saw it now – katie even has a deadline for this! amazing.

  42. that’s ok europe, as soon as brian cuts his hair I’ll marry him instead… and maybe give him a blow job.

  43. Do you think Jacob rejected her advances and that’s why she put never mind? Also, what happened with number 8? I’m very curious.

  44. The deadline is really what makes this golden.

  45. absolutely brilliant.

  46. $10 says she’s pregnant by…hmm…10th grade??

  47. hahahaha, I like the part where she says, I want him to make me go “O”… Let’s see your “O” faces people! Oh Oh Oh

    btw, anybody else hate the term “eating” someone out? It just sounds effing disgusting.

  48. I LOVE THIS!
    Fin brilliant!

  49. RubyPuppateaux, ok that’s fine with me. after all, i just decided to cheat on chris with brett so i can be everything he wants. then chris can find consolation with you. deal?

  50. saw this on another site WITH Brians comment included. his reply was “HOLY SHIT” (yes, in all caps). i wonder if there were more that we can’t see?
    judging by her “retarted” looking hearts, katie is far too young to be a whore. if the children are our future, kill me now. please and thank you.

  51. FUCK YES! THIS IS THE BEST THING ON LAMEBOOOK!!!!

  52. deal. we can both titty bang ryan pecker for good measure. poor fucker got bumped off the list.

  53. Website over. Chris wins everything.

  54. I bet Brian cut his hair after this.

  55. @jellybeans

    What site was it on?

  56. The BEST BEST BEST Lamebook post I have ever seen in my life! Lamebook can now say “Mission accomplished.” Well done, Chris. Well done, Lamebook.

  57. My list will now have Chris on it
    Fuck yes

  58. I love the art.

    “My Little Pony meets Paris Hilton”

  59. This shit is great. I wonder what happens if she doesn’t meet her deadline.

  60. http://i.imgur.com/58kXI.jpg

    W/ Brians comment

  61. My initials are Coc

    This is why I read Lamebook it the mornings.
    Sometimes it makes my whole day.

  62. I must write my wish list

  63. HAHAHA damn! So messed up, but so good. Closeted sluts need to be called out especially if they are this stupid to have written down every hook up.

  64. Epic, ’nuff said.

  65. She’s got another 4 months to get things done.

  66. wow, this is honestly one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my entire 22 years of life!!!! Absolutely worth it bro! Thanks!

  67. Chris, you are evil. Pure evil. Oh, and you’d better search Katie’s room again.. for weapons this time. :-(

  68. Omg! This is sooooo embarressing…damn.

  69. Am I the only one whos upset that i didn’t make the list? this is some bullsh*t.

  70. Oh my hell…
    This is the most viciously, wonderfully, evil thing I have ever seen on the internets. I am humbled in the presence of such a master of the art of war as Chris.

    Sibling rivalry will always result in the most spectacular damages you could possibly imagine.

  71. This post trumps ALL Lamebook post, past, present and future!

    Chris, you are my hero!

    FTW!!

  72. Wow… what a skank. She soo deserved it to be put online! And someone needs to let her know she can only give away her virginity once. So don’t put it twice. Dumb ass!

  73. do i see this right – she even wrote down the dates when she hooked up with 2)Pionne (??) 5)Jack – and 9)Russell?
    this is getting better and better.

  74. @europe_rocks

    I thought it said the same thing. I think it says Ronnie.

  75. This is awesome. Even if it’s fake, it’s awesome. Because how many of us have wanted to get revenge like that on a sibling?

  76. The last comment was “4 minutes ago”. I’m sure there’s more and hopefully comments from some of the guys on the list- I want to see.

  77. Something is curious about this post. Why does one of Chris’ comments offer the option to delete, but none of his other posts do? Also, the link to the image that bigbooda provided (http://i.imgur.com/58kXI.jpg) has the option to delete every comment and shows Brian’s comments made 26 minutes after the post. So, in theory, his comment should also be in this post as well.

    I’m really not trying to be the OMG-THIS-IS-FAKE-LAMEBOOK-SUCKS guy. I hate that guy. I just want answers.

  78. My theory on the version in the other link is that if he is the one that created the post, like loaded the picture and tagged everyone, he can delete all the comments… i am assuming that is the original and when it got sent to lamebook for some reason it was altered…

  79. Also meaning he created the post and submitted it to the other site…

  80. Lol, so righteous. But, I wouldn’t want to have a brother like that :S Well, it was insanely stupid of her to make a goal-list. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

  81. Katie has inspired me to make my own list. And store it in a safety deposit box far, far away from my younger brother. Then again, I’d be providing him with the 12 pack so I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t have this problem to begin with.

    Here’s my question: How can Katie be so loose, but have such a stick up her ass about a 12 pack?

  82. Chris is officially my hero. If she’s so horrified about that list being up, she shouldn’t have written it. Or, of course, kept her legs shut and refrained from being a complete skank whore in the first place.

  83. Maybe more than one person sent this post? Chris may have sent his screenshot to the link and someone else must have sent it here. Brian’s comment may have been deleted before this poster sent it in.

  84. Err maybe this is fake er something. I just noticed on the link it says the album title is “karma is a bitch”, while here it’s just “karma with no end quote. Strange.

  85. This is the best freaking thing I have ever seen. Nice work Chris. She deserved it.

  86. @Name
    On Facebook if there is an album that someone is tagged in, it doesn’t have the start and end quotes, it’s simply down as the album title, so maybe the quotation mark at the start was a mistake? But it doesn’t explain the quotation marks in the link. Weird. I hope this isn’t fake because it’s awesome.

  87. I think Chris did his sister a favour.

    Geez, a list for getting fingered? Titty bang? That’s a goal?

  88. Revenge is a dish best served cold! Congratulations Chris for Fucking up your sisters reputation in the best possible way! She deserved it!!!

    Best post ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  89. It’s nice to see teen girls prioritize and make goals for themselves. Maybe she should think about index cards though. I can picture her with a cart full of organizational supplies at OfficeMax or something.

  90. This post made my day. It made me so proud to be an only child. I think the greatest part was the end: I heart facebook like you heart cock….hi-lari-ous! I bet she’ll think twice before snitching…

  91. 1. Chris rocks.
    2. WTF?? how lame is Katie for actually keeping a list like this? What is the purpose of keeping accurate documentation of these kinds of things? Is this just in preparation for when she has to back track and contact everone she’s passed her VD too?
    3. And V-card…ok, I’m thinking even Katie doesn’t fully get what this means…Silly whore, you can’t give it away more than once.

  92. LOL!
    I love a true out loud lol… this is priceless… chris’ sweet revenge is spectacular… hehehehehe

  93. Oh, this is so very, very lovely.

  94. That was one hell of a “to-do” list.

    Ba doom tiss.

  95. @ Le

    On Facebook, when you are the creator of an album, you have the ability to delete every photo comment on every photo. (I went back and checked a photo of mine with multiple comments, and they were all deletable, no matter who left them) Logic follows that Chris must’ve been the one to submit it…that’s lame, but it’s still the most amazing payback ever. My theory is that Lamebook altered the post for whatever reason, and turned it into the abomination shown here. The link provided goes to a much better post, simply because it is real and unaltered.

    J

  96. This is my favorite thing on the internet.
    For god’s sake people, calm the fuck down.

  97. Wow…

    As intrigued as I am by this, I don’t think this was an appropriate thing for Chris to do.

  98. Oh Katie, dear Katie. An appropriate response would’ve been something along the lines of: “you could’ve atleast tried to fake my writing!!”

    But Katie, you blew it.
    Along with several gentlemen, it would appear.

    *sigh*

  99. Simply amazing. Epic win.

    While yes, it may have been awful for Chris to do this, Katie sounds like she definitely deserved it. Because it was provoked, I say win, if it wasn’t it would have been pathetic.

  100. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMFG. I HOPE this is fake because it’s just too mean. But, stranger things have happened. Poor, dumb Katie. Like totalpixie said, she could’ve denied it.. and dealt with him in private.

  101. Wow. Chris is a real asshole.

  102. @ J. Gotcha. Thanks. I figured Lamebook had to edit in some way. I just couldn’t understand why. The editing didn’t really seem to have a purpose. Whatever though. Maybe someone just wanted to Photoshop something. Life goes on.

  103. @ Le

    You’re welcome. I think you’re right…someone at Lamebook was a bit too Photoshop-happy today and ruined the post by throwing a shadow of doubt over it.

    J

  104. It amuses me that people think Chris is the asshole when,
    a) all he wanted was some beer,
    b) his sister ratted him out,
    c) she makes lists of people with whom she wants to do naughty, naughty things,
    d) then prioritizes them whilst also giving herself a deadline/completion dates and
    e) Katie clearly doesn’t care much for anyone’s feelings – emotional anyway. She seems very keen on what they feel physically.

    Silly people. This is the internet. Everyone’s an asshole. The key to survival and reputation is who is the smartest, most tactical asshole.

  105. ^ I TOTALLY agree!

  106. @104

    1. Chris is obviously not of the legal drinking age, if this took place in America. So “just him wanting some beer” isn’t a good excuse.

    2. She ratted him out because what he was doing was illegal. But that doesn’t matter much, since she didn’t post his sexual exploits to all her friends.

    3. So?

    4. Sooooo

    5. Soooooooooooooooo

    @ 17

    Bull shit. She never publicized anything on her facebook. People nowadays have hundreds of friends, and now hundreds of his friends are going to call her a “slut” just because she enjoys herself.

    Why do people defend Chris? Why do they cheer him on? He’s AN ASSHOLE. And a loser.

    It’s like people defending fucking Melodrax.

  107. 1) In his own house. I guess I’m just too open-minded. I also can’t seem to find any reference to his age. Like he said, asian parents are strict. If this took place anywhere in Europe (however unlikely that may be), it’d be legal. Just throwing that out there as an option.
    2) I highly doubt she was doing it because it’s illegal. It’s probably because they don’t get along. And I don’t know about where they live but over here, you can drink before you’re legally allowed to have sex. So… yeah.
    3) It’s a moronic thing to do. I’d sooner defend an asshole than a moron.
    4) She’s treating the guys like they’re just toys… which to her, they probably are. That is assholey. So she’s a moron and an asshole.
    5) Again, asshole. From the evidence we’re given, Katie is three times the asshole.

    Like I said, everyone’s an asshole. Including Chris. However, Katie was the one who started the whole thing, it seems. I don’t care who she has sex with but the way she’s going about it is, well, idiotic.

  108. @106. You side with her just because underage drinking is illegal? LOL go go model citizen. Nobody cares if you drink underage, everybody does it. They just can’t go in bars because you can’t have old people hitting on the underage people.

    Seriously, it’s only humiliation. He’s grounded for 3 months for a bullshit reason because of her. She also brought it on so it’s her own fault.

  109. @shampoo: “It’s only humiliation”?
    She will remember this for the rest of her life.

    I don’t know how people can laugh at this. This is ABUSE. Put yourself in her shoes.

  110. Ehhh, could be worse.

  111. @Recidivist: slow your roll kid. It’s impossible for me to put myself in her shoes because I’m not a huge skank bitch.

    It just sounds like something like this has happened to you and you’re still bitter about it. Hopefully you learned your lesson!

  112. “i <3 facebook like you <3 cock" lmao

    i mean guys… katie DID tattle on him… and its not like he took this little list to his parents (unless they are his FB friends)

  113. I for one don’t find this lame, firstly if I was you even if my sister ratted me out for having beer in my room, which I won’t in the first place, because i would have it all drank, or have it in a better place. Secondly I won’t put this up on facebook. Instead I would beat the living shit out of the guys that are already crossed off the list and warn the other fuckers on the list to stay away from my sister, then I would teach my sisters about the values of life. lol

  114. My initials are Coc

    Maybe all the people on Katies side are taking her side because.. This could happen to them one day!
    And they are just distracting us while they burn/shred/eat/rip up their own ‘Hook Up List”‘s??
    Just my musings on the matter. Carry on.

  115. Meh. Could have been worse. Katie’s lucky Chris didn’t find her A-Card list . . .

  116. Everyone does realise she only had one sexual encounter on that list right?

  117. @ Recidivist (#109)

    I’d never put myself in her shoes, thank you very much. Rotting away from venereal diseases by the age of 17 is not a thought that particularly turns me on.

    Heidi (#81) asks the most appropriate question of all. Yup, I’d love to buy a 12-pack and share it with Chris and Heidi. Cheers!

  118. @Lim: Study the list a little more closely. She has had 3 sexual encounters checked off on her list. Dated and commented.

    Anyone who defends Katie is either a bigger asshole than Katie and Chris combined, or a troll! I mean if Chris was doing drugs, then this followed I would be on Katies side. But it is beer, and she started it! She hasn’t been grounded for 3 months, only humiliated on the world wide web forever and ever. She started it and got the retaliation she deserves! Now let’s all sit back and laugh at Katie. I know I will. BWAHAHAHAHAHA

  119. I’m going to assume that Chris and Katie are American…mainly because I know “v-card” and “twelve pack” are Americanisms…which is pretty terrible logic I know.

    Also, it doesn’t say whether Katie is older or younger than Chris anywhere in that post…so say she’s younger. The legal age to have sex in America is 18, right? and for drinking its 21? If Katie *is* a younger sibling, chances are she’s under 18 and also planning to do something illegal in the losing of her “v-card”. I reckon that ratting her brother out was more about the malicious pleasure she’d receive from it rather than any concern for his health and safety…and so, in my opinion, she got what she deserved.

  120. katie broke the bond first and gave up chris to the parents. this said, im not saying her sluttiness should be here. to me, its kinda the equivalant of going nuclear in response for a suicide bomer killing only themself when detected outside the target.

    chris went to far with this, and he now has an enemy for life. i hope he knows how to sleep with one eye open.

    if this sounds like im defending katie, im not. she was stupid to turn chris in and not expect some reprisal!

  121. This has (as people before me said) been up on an other site. A lot of people noticed that things on this one have been edited.

    Just saw that Brians comment actually was up on there. His reply was “Holy Shit”. Do you guys think it’s the same Brian who needs to get a haircut?

  122. @Sunny: Who fucking cares? If you want to see the original, then away you go. And I do hope you enjoy it. Otherwise let’s be productive here and keep slandering the post! That’s what majority of the people are here for.

  123. EPIC WIN.

    Now I just want to know how old that Katie is?! Judging by the handwriting – not that old.

  124. @ Insane… good on you boy!!

    I agree… an eye for an eye (and yes, that makes the whole world blind) but atleast then no-one will be able to judge one another on their appearances…

    Did anyone notice that she only plans to do stuff with the boys who are goodlooking? Shame on her, she should go fuck herself as opposed to ratting out her brother. That would’ve saved her a lot of trouble.

  125. I have read every single post ever on Lamebook, and this is without comparison the most epic. You can just shut down now. Nothing’s gonna top this. Ever.

  126. Fucking incredible.

  127. @totalpixie: Actually, the age of consent is 18 (or 17 or 14 or etc., depending on the state). All that means is that if you’re going to have sex with someone who’s younger than you are, he/she has to be either above the age of consent or within the range that the laws specify. For example, in Texas, age of consent is 17, but you’re ok if you’re within 2 years. So, an 18-year-old can get down with a 16-year-old, even though the 16-year-old is under that age of consent and the 18-year-old is over it.

    If both parties are under the age of consent, in most places, there is no law dictating whether they can have sex. There are a few places who’ve begun interpreting the age-of-consent law as “this is the youngest age at which it’s ok for a person to have sex”, but most of the laws weren’t actually written that way.

    Sorry about the long-windedness.

  128. Having talked about age of consent and all that jazz, I am never having children.

    Katie can’t be more than about 13, judging from her handwriting and artwork. If her parents are strict enough to ground her brother for 3 months for hiding beer, they should be helicopter-y enough to know that their daughter is getting involved in v-cardness very early on.

  129. Hahaha, that is fuckin’ brilliant!

  130. I’m new to Lamebook so I haven’t fully delved into the whole site. My friend urged me to log on this morning. Immediately after doing so, I came across this gem! My mouth is still open wide. Katie has been exposed for the little whore in training that she is.

    I am female and I applaud you Chris. Bravo mon ami! Bravo

  131. @ guinevere thanks for the explanation =] what a weird law…its not like that here. (UK)

  132. Coincidently, California citizens have an age of consent law of 18 but also “supposedly” has a law where anyone under the age of 18 can’t have sex. you>18=illegal sex =D

  133. Slanderous Princess

    This post is epic. Chris is a hero! Katie, don’t mess with the bull if you don’t want the horns, lol. I think that Katie has learned some serious life lessons all in one fell swoop!
    1. Mind your own business.
    2. Don’t be a rat.
    3. There are consequences to your actions.
    4. Being a skank does not pay.
    Chis in dealing out proper punishment may have just saved his little sister from a life of being a bitchy, rat, skank! Now he has given her a chance to change her ways and maybe, just maybe be cool, like her brother Chris!

  134. This is great, what an awful family :L
    Wish my brother had things like this that I could put on FB to get him back :’)

  135. I’m a guy and I’m not entirely sure Chris should be applauded… I mean, he got grounded for three months because he was stupid enough to keep beer in his room — so what? What teenager hasn’t been grounded? On the other hand, his sister will forever be known as a slut and unfairly judged by people she doesn’t know.

    Maybe she likes pleasing guys, but they’re obviously all people she knows personally and likes; it’s not like she’s opening her legs to every drunk random she meets and writing down her one-night stands. And she’s not sexually depraved either, she knows what she likes and wants from sex as well as what guys like.

    Sorry for the long post but I don’t think it’s right to permanently fuck up someone’s reputation and life like that, just for some petty revenge. Fuck you, Chris.

  136. Maybe its even worse, f*ck your friends just for fun or fuck a stranger…

    Between friends there are real feelings while a one night stand is something just for fun.

    If it’s real, she deserved this.

  137. I’m pretty sure if Katie was a dude, you wouldn’t be calling her a whore.

    Making a list is pretty stupid given the fact that she has a spiteful brother, and turning him in was immature, but what he did was way worse. And again, the whore comments are ridiculous. A teenage boy with 3 sexual encounters in 2 months would probably be commended.

  138. @mtc. She is too young to be giving out blowjobs and having sex with 3 different men (boys actually); setting a goal to have sexual relations with a total of 10 guys! She hasn’t even graduated from high school yet! Her reputation is already ruined. Even if Chris didn’t post this, we would all have found out about her reputation sooner or later. He just sped up the inevitable.

  139. @tamedshrew

    How do you know how old she is? Also, would you be saying the same thing if the person in question was male? I agree that a young person shouldn’t be having promiscuous sex or sexual activity with lots of people, but it just isn’t necessary to call such a person a “whore” or a “slut.”

  140. http ://www.lol fbmoments. com/?p=844

  141. hahahahahahahahah soooooo good!

  142. @ tamedshrew

    Who are you to judge that she is too young to be having sex, especially since her age isn’t specified? You can’t call slut on a girl who is obviously smart enough not to give away her virginity cheaply — indeed, she enjoys the pleasures of sex without the risks of penetration. These are not the actions of some dumb floozy, this is surprisingly mature decision-making given her likely age. In contrast is Chris’ lowly, childish action of publishing a private document online, to a potential audience of hundreds, all in the name of payback. Don’t be so quick to judge people’s actions, particularly those whom you’ve never met.

  143. @mtc:
    Private documents… *giggles*

  144. I love how everyone here is up in arms because OMG THIS GIRL IS SEXUALLY ACTIVE.

    Get over it, girls like to fuck too.

  145. Which is not to say that this list isn’t hilarious.

  146. this is terrible on chris’s part.

    he totally reversed his own logic by giving katie a punishment completely disproportionate to her mistakes.

    like he says, 12 pack may not equal 3 months.

    but ratting out a bro for having a 12 pack does not equal a fucking life sentence.

    i really hope this is fake.

  147. @mtc:

    The idea of “giving away you virginity cheaply” is probably exactly why Chris isn’t the complete villain, considering it is pretty clear she is not in a relationship with any of these guys. If she were to continue with her plans, she would most likely regret it because as people are pointing out, A) word’s going to get around anyway, and B) She most likely get taken advantage of. Acting from a point of “I thought stupid & quit before it went too far’ as opposed to ‘I did stupid’ usually saves you from a much worse pain than can be inflicted by being the subject of gossip.

    As for those crying ‘double standard’ for girls as opposed to a guy’s sexuality, well the fact is girls are biologically wired to be more relationship oriented and need something ‘more’ (the definition of which, to guys, is so complex that they give up in futility trying to understand it). Guys, on the other hand, can isolate the sex from the person they are having sex with. Women complain about men’s promiscuous behavior as much as men complain about women’s, it just affects women more emotionally to be treated with indifference (as ‘objects’).

    In conclusion, however, Chris pretty much declared war on his sister with this one so no one wins when everyone’s angry. But if it were me, I wouldn’t take what she did lying down either and wow, what sweet revenge this is indeed. With several moral lessons for his sister to boot. Well done!

  148. I guess I mean, if she isn’t mature enough to understand sex, she shouldn’t be having it, and what her brother did not only turned off several guys on that list from hooking up with her, but also probably made her think twice about doing what was on it.

  149. fluxtopiamars:

    Oh dear, where are you getting your science from? Self help books? ABC News? Pop psychology? There’s many scientific experiments contradicting what you claim to be fact. Furthermore, there are very few scientific facts out there, especially in psych.

    The dozens of girls I know must be not women, then, since we all have no issue separating sex from love. And I feel no need to call whoever behaves similarly a slut or a whore.

    In other news, this girl’s behaviour is fairly normal.

  150. So what you’re telling me is that a mature adult woman wrote that list? A mature woman wrote out her sexual goals, in detail, might I add, and drew hearts all around it? With a deadline. You can’t be serious. Ok fine, let’s just say, for argument’s sake, that she’s of a mature age, but I will call her as she portrays herself: SLUT-TY! slut, slut, slut, slut, slut! That’s my perception of her. Based on that wonderfully written hook up list. no judgement. I’m just agreeing with her.

    PS she’s a little girl that has a lot of growing up to
    do.

  151. You know normally I would be hunting thru fakebook to find this bitch, but I haven’t shagged a white girl in months and I’m getting bored of banging Asians….

  152. This is easily the most hilarious entry on this site that I have seen so far. I really can’t see this being topped, to be honest.

    Chris is god.

    And I kinda wanna hook up with Katie. I don’t know why.

  153. Yep sorry Sweden nailed it earlier. My bad.

    sweden
    December 22nd, 2009 at 7:45 am
    I have read every single post ever on Lamebook, and this is without comparison the most epic. You can just shut down now. Nothing’s gonna top this. Ever.

    ——–

    Lock it. Ship it to the Hall. That’s simply as good as this site is ever going to get.

  154. EPIC WIN.

    Defense of the girl seems misplaced in my eyes. Sure it’s harsh to call her a slut. Sure she’ll be embarrassed over it for a while. But she is the one who started it by being a little NARC telling mommy and daddy about Chris’s beer.

    Who gives a fuck that he’s underage and it illegal? Is that seriously why she did it? Probably did it to see her brother get in trouble by the parents. (Who have no clue what’s going on in there children’s lives apparently.)

    In the end this will all be old news. People will laugh, she will cry, and brother will be forever enthroned in the pantheon of great burns. But she will get over it and so will the people around her. Trust me these things don’t last forever, like the fags and little cunts trying to cry over it in the girl’s defense are trying to portray.

  155. @totalpixie: Yeah, America is weird in a lot of ways. Oh, and when I threw in 14 as an age of consent, I wasn’t exaggerating. I believe it’s West Virginia whose AoC is 14. First time i heard that was definitely a “YIKES” moment for me.

    @kingpuff: is it wrong that I am completely amazed at the fact that California has that law on the books and (as far as I know) Texas totally doesn’t?

  156. @kingpuff and @guinevere: The age of consent in Texas is 16. All states have laws on the books.

  157. this is hilarious…

  158. @oskomena

    I think you’re missing the forest for the trees if you think people are jumping on Katie for the mere fact that “OMG THIS GIRL IS SEXUALLY ACTIVE.”

  159. @chris

    You could have got so much more out of this if you’d just held on to the note and let Katie know you had it (sent her a scanned copy or something). For starters, you could have made her go to your parents and ‘confess’ she planted the twelve-pack. There is no end to the things she would have done not to have this list revealed.

  160. AbsoluteBeginners

    Fake or not!

    This feature is now in the Danish press, with a delay of 3 days (they are a little slow anyway)
    http://ekstrabladet.dk/nyheder/samfund/article1274243.ece

    Chris, maybe you saved your sister from becoming a total slut, if she actually would go out and do these things. And maybe your sister rescued you from doing stupid things while being drunk.

    Anyways lamebook this was a good Christmas gift – Thanks!

  161. I hate how some people are glorifying Chris’ action as “saving” his sister from some horrible future as a drug-addicted prostitute, as if being sexually active in your teenage years can only lead to certain doom. If you didn’t get laid when you were in high school, tough break, but don’t judge this girl because she does what all normal teenagers do.

    This is a young woman who is very much in control, who has sex on her own terms with whom she chooses. Frankly, that’s far less slutty than getting drunk and opening her legs to random strangers every weekend.

  162. AbsoluteBeginners

    It is so Lame when people takes side, when it is clear that what both Chris and his sister did, was wrong.

  163. @mtc, Now I KNOW you’re kidding. You can’t seriously believe the shit you’re spewing out to us.

    “young woman very much in control” LMAO. That was a good one. Your sarcasm knows no bounds.

  164. All promiscuous men and women are man whores and sluts, resp. But who care about what people do? Live and let live unless the above happens. lol

    Chris shouldn’t have been drinking and Katie shouldn’t be cock-sucking. Karma FTW! LMAO! EPIC! Double thumbs-up.

  165. By the fuck, fluxtopiamars, where do you get all your scientific information from? Gender differences is actually a very complicated territory, and most scientists nowadays agree that you can’t simply come to conclusions using, as someone said here, ‘pop psychology’ and college surveys. The differences between sexual desires and behaviour of women and men have much to do with evolutionary biology, behavioural psychology, cultural trends, politics and media. Don’t make yourself sound so stupid by trying to speak ‘scientifically’.

  166. AbsoluteBeginners

    @MashaB If you hide alcohols in your parents house, you probably should not drink at all. And why did you leave out katie telling her parents about her brother?

    @mtc list or not, if you are with a lot of people (in this case “Deadline” 4/2010), it will make you a slut. But Katie has not yet actually had all the boys.

    @mtc why do you write: horrible future as a drug-addicted prostitute? Who talked about this?

    It would be fun to see how the comments would have been if it was the other way around. If it was Chris who had made the list and told his parents about his sister, and Katie who had submitted the list on fb. How many would then have defended Chris?

  167. This is the most beautiful thing ever.

  168. Hahaha, I read about this in a danish newspaper, so hilarious! :D

  169. The fact that a newspaper published this makes it one of the funniest things ever to have happened on Facebook (even if it was Ekstra-Bladet.. still funny as hell though).

    And she had it coming, she ratted him out. So what if it’s illegal for him to have a beer, she made the list in the first place, that’s a dumbass thing to do. I still think Chris is a funny bastard for doing this.

  170. This. Is. Wonderful.

  171. …makes you wonder if Katie now has a hit list, also. Watch out, world! Especially you, Chris. I’m going to offer a Snickers to every asian slut I come across- for all I know, it may be Katie.

  172. @AbsoluteBeginners: Most men (I would hope none) would not write a ‘hit list’ with due dates etc., because such a list would exist in mind only – harder to get caught that way ;) .

  173. Best ever! There is so much hilarious stuff in here, it is almost impossible to top this.

  174. I really hope it´s fake

    Katie if you are out there reading this, just remember that it is one thing to make a list. You have not yet been with all these boys, therefore don´t give a fu.. about what others are saying about you.

  175. Best. One. EVER.

  176. Keanu Reeves In Speed

    Who submitted this? This would be the greatest to have followup on. Did the parents find out? Did the sister kill herself? Does she spit or swallow? What happened?

  177. Let me play the Devil’s Advocate…He thinks she’s the one that got the karma. Watch shit turn on him and hit the fan when he’s getting the heat. This is just wrong. Not cool. Knowing how girls can get I bet she did or will hurt him and I don’t blame her. As long as she doesn’t feel bad about it, she doesn’t have to. She’s reign hell on his sour ass.

  178. Wonder why Chris, Katie or some of the boys listed in the “to do” list haven’t commented this here, or at any other article or debate about this.. it seems a little weird, as if they do not exist? or?

  179. Looks like she’s going to need an extension on that deadline.

  180. beautifuldisasterxo

    hahaha that is awesome, sweet revenge

  181. Christ on a cracker

    Revenge = all-night-long sex
    Revenge = multiple orgasm
    Revenge = fine chocolate
    Revenge = Jameson whiskey
    Revenge = you EX getting an STD
    Revenge = your enemy getting an STD from your EX

  182. Katie, what exactly do you mean by anything and can I bring a friend?

    Thanks, Brett.

  183. wow… lol..
    note to katie.. dont keep that kinda list!!
    note to chris.. this is too funny!! ps if you were my brother.. you wouldnt be walking!!
    :D

  184. Why? Would you give him a hand job too?

  185. sorry, this is long. i compiled comments to peoples comments as i read it. here goes:

    @Recidivist: hows it abuse dumbass? he posted her (most likely underage and therefor also possibly illegal. (we dont know where they r)*hat tip to 106 bitch*).

    @emmaS: uh, yeah, defend ur sister, but she wanted it from them, it was premeditated.

    Also, guys, the whole v-card thing, it could mean she “played the v-card”, in other words, claimed she was a virgin. my friend recently fell for that shit. i knew the girl that did it to him, she’s how i know him, but i laughed when he told me he beleived her xD.

    also, to all of you who keep saying that she will now be “unfairly” judged as a slut, its not unfair. clearly she is one, so its completely fair!

    @poopmcgee: yeah yeah, double standard. but see the ratio of guys approving to girls disssaproving, it would be reversed for a sister posting her bro’s sexcapades, so stfu and live w/ the double stadards, cause they really arent ones anyway. same goes for you musil.

    @guinevere: here in tx, its actually sometimes allowed to b a 3 year diff. dont fuck w/ my rel. cause its not jest sex. if ur 18^ u cant date some1 more than 3 year younger than u, in a little more than a year, there will b 3 months where im 18 and my girl will b just barley 3 years younger than me, but its still legal. there are laws on the books, however, but they arent as stringent as uppity-ass cali xD.

    also, yes, the matter really isnt that her having sex is illegal. look, he even states he has the steriotypical strict asian parents. not, i hang with alot of asains, and most of them have parents like that. u think its just 3 month grounding, but theres more. loss of priviliges, possible extension, just over all unfair punishment. my friend tien’s parents wont even let him hang w/ friends or do anything cause they literally say everything leads to babies. its hell for him. he got grounded from everything just cause he dated a girl that wasnt asian and 2 years younger than him(their odd rules) so the revenge isnt that harsh in perspective.

    wait. holy crap! this made danish news!? wtf!? hahaha!

    @mtc, plz, jsut stfu already. all ur posts are invalid. i’ve dated girls like this b4, and left them for this very reason. hell, 1 was fucking 18yrold guys she knew when she was no more than 13! now go away and let us enjoy the lulz!

  186. “I love facebook like you love cock” – brilliant.

  187. @lilmamashorty

    Well then if you were my sister, you’d be a whore.

  188. Stupid censorship. It sucks. Probably not as much as katie….

  189. hahahahaa this is too funny! poor katie.

  190. Oh what a fucking LEGEND!!

  191. HAHAHAHAHA. That sucks. Keep that to-do list in the head, sweetie.

  192. She has SO much self respect…I don’t know that she deserved this to be posted, but she had to think eventually it would get out there some how….SHE is the one who wrote the list. Wow. Never put incriminating information on paper….its called evidence, if she must, put it in some code that only she would understand. How old is this girl?

  193. Chris: Marry me!

  194. WikidJuggaloPanda

    EPIC WIN FTW!!!!

  195. where the fuck were these kinds of girls when i was in high school… i have been cheated and i would like a do-over

  196. Here´s a link to the newspaper in Denmark that published an article about this. It´s obviously in danish but nothing new about this incident came up in the article.
    Poor girl in one way I feel sorry for her but on the other hand is she a fucking slut that deserves it! HAHAHA!

    http://ekstrabladet.dk/nyheder/samfund/article1274243.ece

  197. Girl has ambitions haha.

  198. titty bang FTW!

  199. i suprised she is still a virgin…

  200. Princess Bananahammock

    @ Linca if her brother didnt post this for the world to see she would have lost her “v-card”.
    It’s just sad to see a young girl having to make a list like this. I mean get some real goals and ambition…Katie hunny you have many more years of being used and tossed aside ahead of you. No need to jump start it. It’s ok to like sex but do it because you want to and not because you want to be liked.

  201. Wow, me and my older brother used to fight like this all the time. Glad I never did anything that idiotic.

  202. Personally, I just find this funny. Who would actually write down what they’ve done with a guy? If it was me I knew I certainly wouldn’t be the stupid bitch who wrote the stuff down, and I wouldn’t be the bitch who showed it to thee ‘rents either.

  203. @okema & MashaB

    Evolution of Desire

    Call me old-fashioned, but I still think the first person you have sex with should be someone you are in love with & is dedicated to you, not some guy on a list for a one-night stand you need to finish within the next four months. It’s not shocking that she wants to have sex, it’s sad that she thinks its a race or an after-school project.

  204. I think this is hilarious. Sure it was maybe a little immature on his part, but siblings are asking for it when they rat each other out. Its impressive how slutty this girl is. Looking at the list she comes across as a 12yr old. I really wish it had her real age!

  205. HAHAH! this is great…I made a list like this when was about 12 but not about sexual favors omg…mine just consisted of boys id date, might date, or never date lol….no “hj’s” and such lol

  206. she is 18-19 and he is 21

  207. freakin’ awesome.

  208. Wow that is crazy smh, o well its her fault for writing all that down, who keeps notes on ppl they mess wit I mean couldnt she just have taken a mental note or somthing lol

  209. hahahaha Chris FTWx100!!! lol this is my fav on lamebook >.< katie….wth were u thinking lol….u could have shared the beer :P lol

  210. HAHAHA!! its so messed up but i would do the same thing!!!

  211. It sounds as if you have short hair and possibly a penis, you are definitely getting some action from Katie. Nicely done, Katie!

  212. Katie isn’t doing anything wrong because she’s young and sexually active. There is no age at which it suddenly becomes acceptable to have sex. A person is ready to have sex when s/he feels ready and understands the dangers and preventative measures against STDs and pregnancy. Just because you want sex to be about love and feelings and roses doesn’t mean anyone else does. It’s not up to you to dictate when someone can have sex or to shake your head disapprovingly because someone chose to have sex at a younger age than you. If a person can separate sex from love, and many of us can, then it’s no business of yours if a person has feelings for his or her sexual partner.

    That being said, what Katie is doing might be a bit messed up if she’s manipulating these guys. If they all understand that it’s just about sex, that’s cool but if they have feelings for her and she’s just using them, then she kinda deserves this.

    Also, there’s no reason to assume she’s thirteen based on her handwriting and sketches. I know plenty of people who have handwriting like that and who would draw things like that who are much older than thirteen. My own handwriting is actually very childlike.

    All I know is I sure wish I knew an Asian girl who liked to casually fool around with her friends when I was in High School.

  213. ROFLMAO HER SISTER WAS PWNED!

  214. I love it!!! If I ever found something of this nature in my brother’s room after he had snitched on me… I’d soooo do the same exact thing… Unfortunatly, my brother is lame and will never get laid.. So I’ll never be able to post anything that is that amazing.

  215. mtc @ 142 has the quote of this discussion with the rather lovely: “indeed, she enjoys the pleasures of sex without the risks of penetration.”

    I think it’s the use of “indeed” that makes it so marvelous.

  216. Okay I think all the people here on Katies side need to re-evaluate. There is really an unspoken bond between siblings. Most children today participate in under-age drinking and EVERY child does something that is against the views of their parents. Now looking at this Katie, depending upon her age, must have done something similar or will end up doing something similar at least looking at this list. If either of these options are the case then snitching upon Chris breaks the bond and thus of course now she must hide her wrong-doings from parents AND her brother. I know this because I have a sister a year younger than me, she sometimes goes to parties with drink. Now i say nothing because i have done things that she knows of and has never mentionned to my parents, if she did then i would turn around and snitch on her too. Chris here has simply had the sibling trust broken and is retaliating in a manner that is acceptable. Yes it is acceptable; Katie should have known the likely resonse her brother would give to this, she should have feared a sibling war to erupt. As such she obviously didn’t or that list would have been destroyed and so she gave him the opportunity to do this. She broke a mutual silence agreement of the goings of either of them by telling their parents. Also I think I am safe when i say that this is the first large instance of sibling rivalry here because Katie at no point states ‘I told on you because…’ or something along similar lines and so it seems that she snitched simply for malicious intent.
    But other than that fucking hilarious!!!!! Thumbs up to you Chris!

  217. the deadline is here..I jsut want to know if she’s succeeded at this point…

  218. This… Is beautiful.

  219. How the hell did I miss this one? My new hero = Chris.

  220. Okay so this didn’t only make my whole day, rather my whole LIFETIME.
    But still, I’m not sure I’d like Chris as my friend.. The girl is poisonous for Christ sake!

  221. Oh, the girl can be as sexually active as she wants…yaddayaddayadda…STFU already!

    SHE’S FUCKING WILLING TO LOSE HER VIRGINITY to one of 10 GUYS she plans to “get on” with within 4 MONTHS.
    It’s not a (completely) sexually active girl just doing her thing (no matter how promiscuous)as she pleases.

    If active, then she’s planning on DECEIVING at least 2 of the guys.

    All of them are just based on their LOOKS alone.

    So go ahead and tell me about her maturity and exercise of personal freedom.

    If there’s nothing wrong with her behaviour, THEN THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM POSTING IT. She ratted him out! He ratted her out (with interest added).

    If there’s nothing wrong with what she did why is SHE posting in all caps at the top of her tits for Chris to take it down?

    BEST EVER BURN!!!!! (like someone already said, it goes in the pantheon of all-time greats, this one)

  222. there are 5 out of the 10 crossed out:

    Ryan Pecker – looks liked she just changed her mind

    (that leaves 4), one is only a kiss, and none of which involve sex(she is a virgin!). hardly a whore at all, and technically impossible.

    Think about it. She gave head to 2 guys and got eaten out by another..

    it’s really quite tame, and more like the wishful thinking of a young teenager.

  223. I don’t see the “Maybe V-Card” as a sign she still has hers, I see it as a sign she is unsure if he has his. Katie = Slut, even in today’s standards.

    I wish Chris was able to post updates, I’m curious if she reached her goal :/

    We should all try to accomplish our goals. Sluts included.

  224. note to self….dnt trust or double cross an asian. second note to self…..fire asian maid (bxtch prolly stealin frum me n e way!!)

  225. @iDubya – I agree. There are stars by both names so it makes me think she took their virginity.

  226. Well, its past the due date. I wonder if she accomplished all this? I wonder if her parents found out?
    I assumed the crossed off ones were completed and the date next to it was the date on which it happened? HAHAHA fingered and titty fuck…amateurs.

  227. @#227

    Guru says: Real. I’ve given this one some thought at work today.

    This is absolutely the weirdest one on Lamebook. It’s a cross between Found Magazine and Penthouse Family Letters. Sure, Chris is a total tool with no love for anyone but himself to post such crap in a juvenile way, but that’s why we look at this crap, so…

    However, The Lamester Guru knows that little Chris isn’t really mad about getting caught with beer, that’s only a ruse. He is only using that excuse for justification to invade his sister’s privacy and vilify her; apparently for one of three reasons:

    1)He is really irate that he wasn’t included on his sister’s list, for he might have had an incest fantasy going and she burst his “teach her how to blow a bubble” bubble.

    2)He is jealous that she has gotten more action in the previous nine weeks than he has in his entire life.

    3)He is, in fact, a closet case and is trying to soften the blow, no pun intended. (NPI) Perhaps Chris really loves cock like Katie really hates facebook. I’ll let the Rainbow Jury decide on that one…

    - These are just my theories, of course.

    However, I believe Katie is only a typical student. She’s done no more than any young girl who is looking for love in all the wrong places does everyday in countless backseats across America and elsewhere. It’s just that she got caught and she can’t lie about it like all her other girlfriends do. Sure, every girl I’ve only known casually has always said crap like “I’ve only been with 3 guys” or “I’ve never done this before” when obviously it isn’t the case, not when they have four kids from four different daddies or have “Born To Ride” as a tramp stamp. Poor Katie just wants to experiment, and she blew it (NPI) right-out the door with Mr. Nevermind (NVM) — Jacob must have whipped-out a funny-looking one or something. She should have stuck with Adrian as her #1 and left it at that; or promised him a V-card over a possible HJ. If Adrian would have been promoted in such a way, he would have defended her by writing “first” in his comment line, or would have assumed gay Ben’s identity and gone verbal to kick Chris’ dad-lovin’ behind a little for posting crap about his GF in such a way… The only person who showed any sensibility at all was Britney, only because she also has a brother and a BJ/V-CARD list of her own.

    I almost concluded it was fake because of the weird deadline — (Why not Valentine’s Day?) But maybe she was following a planner or waiting until a birthday so the guy wouldn’t go to jail or something… Truly, a very weird post. -LGP4
    I wonder if any of the guys on that list had girlfriends at the time 9/13, 10/4, 10/29 or what the aftermath at school was the next day…

    Either way, it boils down to a classic example of The Lamester Guru’s mantra:
    “If you don’t want anyone to know, never tell anyone.
    If you don’t want everyone to know, never write it down.”

    Peace be with you, Lamesters…

  228. Cherriye-angella

    ROFLMAO Don’t you just love karma?

  229. John Players Standard

    Awesome would do this to my sisters hands down no problem any chance i had.

  230. I’m going to marry this man. :)

  231. I am confused as to why those like #227 feel Chris is some horrible person for doing this. I would most certainly say he was not as forgiving as it was possible to be, but Katie definitely deserves this. She almost deserves it even if it isn’t real. Why would she tell their parents about the beer? Chris certainly sounds intelligent enough to handle it. Katie was entirely in the wrong to tell on him.
    Chris, on the other hand, did NOT tell on her except as a just punishment for her telling on him.

  232. I wonder if she managed to complete this list.

  233. lmao deadline

  234. the kid is genius, plain and simple.

  235. now thats a smart move.

  236. rofl, this guy is great.

  237. This is great! I wish I had thought of doing something like this to my sister. She used to rat me out all the time.

  238. Point Chris. It’s a little harsh, but she’s evil for ratting him out.

  239. hey katie can you please accept my friend request?

  240. Holy shit I LOL’ed when I read this! Harsh, but FREAKING AWESOME!!!! ;)

  241. I paid $32.67 for a XBOX 360 and my mom got a 17 inch Toshiba laptop for $94.83 being delivered to our house tomorrow by FedEX. I will never again pay expensive retail prices at stores. I even sold a 46 inch HDTV to my boss for $650 and it only cost me $52.78 to get. Here is the website we using to get all this stuff, bidstag. c 0m

  242. Holy cow.wata whore!!!

  243. HOLY SHIT hahaha. This, plus all of the comments, just made my day.

  244. ….nice….

  245. Dirty little tramp. This is what young girls are like. Fuck them all over if you get the chance, they want it really.

  246. Kind of a Cruel Intentions moment. This shits hilarious but I deduct a little humor because the revenge is a little unbalanced. Yeah she’s a whore but so are the guys shes bangin’. Only justice can be served if she spreads her hpv to her brother now. Also, I thought Asians were smart. You don’t begin a sentence with “12″. You start it with “Twelve”. Pathetic parents should’ve stuck with only having one child.

  247. Also, Noobsauce you are a moron and an ass for assuming. Good luck with ever finding that perfect girl. You’ll be stuck in clubs dating whores such as these and will never see the light.

  248. I love the smell of slut-shaming in the morning.
    No really, nothing makes my day quite like an irresponsible ass-hole making his sister feel ashamed for having sex. Women? Having sex? The horror!I mean, how dare she do what she wants with her body! It’s as if it’s her body and not her parents’ or her brother’s

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