we are all purchased fully from the blood of jesus and the stripes on his back, for he is a wonderful god? that doesn’t even fucking make sense. she was talking about jesus, then said because he is a wonderful god? if i was ian, i would’ve told her she is fucking nuts, instead of just saying ooohhhh lolzzzzz
I don’t think it’s her beliefs that’s being made fun of, more her calling Jesus’ wounds “stripes”. The phrasing makes him sound like a racecar. But that’s not nearly as funny as other posting on lamebook. Plus maybe she likes to think of her Jesus as a racecar! He’s fast and furious and gonna win your soul with his high octane blood spilled for you!
And seriously, it took me a minute to figure out what this “stripes on his back” thing meant, too. The first image I got in my head was of a skunk or a tabby cat or maybe a chipmunk…but I like Hamboner’s racecar imagery better.
Hey, Hamboner! Let’s write a sitcom called My Saviour the Car! It’ll be just like My Mother the Car, only Jesusier!!!!!
My favourite God-bothering status updates are the ones that start off being normal and then weave God into it, like ‘Mary is happy that it’s the weekend and is happy that Jesus Christ died for all our sins’.
There’s a girl on my facebook friends who does exactly this. I am fine with people being religious/faithful – but I absolutely cannot stand the people who post 50 status updates a day (like the girl on my facebook friends), each and every one of them having something to do with Jesus this, or Jesus that. It gets increasingly worse with them attempting to convert people within these status updates. But the catch is, they’re often times the worlds biggest hypocrites and hardly as ‘Godly’ as they make out.
Pisses me right off.
Mind you, the absolute worst are people who just quote scripture as their status update, with no qualifying comments. What’s that all about? Do they honestly think that they’re going to convert somebody? No quicker way to get your updates put on my blocked list… (and I’m a regular church-goer – but there’s no need for facebook – or any other – evangelising!)
It’s their own status update, so why can’t they put whatever they want in it if that is how they feel and what they are thinking about. I’d rather hear that than “dilated 6 cm, almost here” or “I took a poop today”. Block them if you don’t like it, just like I block the people that annoy me.
And the stripes reference is directly from scripture. Actually from prophecy that was written and recorded over 400 years before Christ’s death, which did involve him being whipped prior to his crucifixion, thus, stripes.
I respect people being religious, but if anyone on my friend list preached or displayed gross religious utterings such as that one, I would have to use the Hide-function and if that didn’t help, the Remove friend-function. Keep your religion to yourself if you have friends who aren’t as… I need to choose the right word here… as convinced as yourself, or, like me, don’t believe at all. Good thing is that people in my country hardly are religious at all anymore.
Again, people have every right to post their own religious views as their status updates. Quit freaking out, you are not going to catch Christianity through your computer. Block them if it disturbs you so much that other people feel certain ways. Last time I checked, the status updates where for your own personal status, not “gee, I wonder what my facebook “friends” would like to hear me say today”.
40… yes, he built mine too, since he did one for Ministry he’s been overloaded with work, good really, cos he had sod all else to do.
I’m so glad to be British, cos I’ve not got one friend who quotes scripture, and as such has no opinion on your argument people! I say fuck it, if you don’t like what people put as status updates then you really need to evaluate why they’re your “friend” as surely thats a part of them? Or is that a bit too simple?
@19….its worse when they warp it into these random whacked out quasi-philosophical statements that when read with a more literal mind, they sound like drivel. A kin to a little kid thinking its the coolest thing when he learns to cuss…or in this case when a supposed “intelligent” person things they’re “intelligent” by spouting off big words all in the name of “inspiration”
Jesus is my drinking buddy…you never drink alone with a friend like Jesus, plus when you get too hammered, he supposedly picks you up and carries you the rest of the way. The only issue I have is his drinking stories tend to always be very didactic and have some stupid “moral” attached. PLUS he only has so many and I get tired of hearing about the time he saved mankind….
PS. Please look for the movie Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.
I totally agree with comment number 35… when something great happens in your life, you post it. For some people, God does amazing things in their life, so they should be free to post it. If it bothers you so much, there’s something called “Hide”. And maybe you shouldn’t be friends with them in the first place if it’s so bothersome, since obviously God is a big part of their life.
For all of you who are getting offended by us making fun of people who post these stupid religious status: you needa get the hell over it and get off lamebook. Stop trying to bore lamebook with your serious concerns. IT’S LAMEBOOK PEOPLE, get over it. It’s a funny post and the comments about these types of people are dead on. If you wanna defend them go to a church or one of their bible studies, but in the meantime get your uptight ass off lamebook ’till you can find a sense of humor.
And why do you suppose they are so precious about it anyway? Why does it ‘deserve’ respect, over and above, say, belief in the Tooth Fairy to those of us who don’t believe in it?
And we’re not worried about catching christianity through facebook, thanks. But since you guys seem so desperate to remind the rest of us constantly about what you believe – is it cos you MIGHT catch atheism off the internet?
I disagree entirely. Anyone who has faith weak enough to be destroyed by mocking doesn’t really have faith. Any god who is shaken by mocking does not deserve to be worshipped. Any god that can be destroyed, should be destroyed. And even Hillary Clinton knows that no argument of religious sensitivity should be used curtail freedom of speech.
Besides, most religions claim that all other gods are false, which is blasphemous in the context of those other religions. The mere act of identifying with one religion implicitly mocks the others. Calling jesus the messiah instead of just a prophet is heresy in islam and judaism. The only difference between atheists and Christians is that Christians reject 99% of all gods and atheists reject 100%. We are 99% in agreement.
I’ll mock what I choose to mock. Telling me I can’t do that denies my right to freedom of speech. My mocking your religion denies you nothing. You be religious and I’ll be blasphemous. Then we should all be happy.
Any of my friends posted such lame arsed crap on their wall then i would have to deny them, 3 times as the cock crows and then have them flogged and crucified. PS 62 D, good look with the creationist baiting, practically anything by Richard Dawkins will do, why don’t you become fb friends with them too. You could post little extracts of it on their wall every day just to be a complete twat.
“The belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree . . .
Yeah, makes perfect sense.”
Jessi, I would just like to point out that I’m not an atheist. I believe in God. Just not the orthodox Judaeo-Christian God. My God has horns and likes it when you get drunk and dance naked round the fire widdershins and eat virgins.
Wow, atheism must be like the new black: the new cool, hip, and happening thing to do. I feel so horribly out of date with my belief in God, whatever am I going to do?
I find a lot of atheists stand on a lot of shaky ground for their beliefs. Can’t tolerate the idea of something that disagrees with them. I guess they just need to have a little faith and stop trying to impose their beliefs on other people, hm?
By the way, you obviously don’t comprehend atheism. We don’t stand on “shaky ground” at all. We are a-theists, not anti-theists. We take the rational approach that claims of god need evidence, otherwise the claims are as worthless as the exceptionally thin paper they are written on. We represent the null hypothesis, not a different alternative hypothesis. Different alternative hypotheses are presented by other religions.
And I can quite happily tolerate the idea of something (i assume you mean someone) that disagrees with me. In fact, I quite enjoy the debates. Interesting that you say atheists are trying to impose their “beliefs” on other people, IMMEDIATELY after you say “they just need to have a little faith”. Hypocritical much? I don’t need a little faith, I’m doing perfectly well without it, thanks very much.
Trying to impose beliefs is pointless anyway. If your mind was open to rational thought, you would reach rational conclusions all by your little old self. Keep your faith, I don’t mind at all. But if you venture into the secular world trying to impose faith-based ideas upon me, I will try my hardest to slap you down. Yay for martyrdom!
#69 – I was being tongue-in-cheek with the faith idea. To believe wholly in rationalism, you need to believe that there is nothing else in the world save for rationalism. Agnosticism is more what you’re thinking of, there’s no concrete evidence for, but then, there’s nothing definitively against, either. Simply the will to believe, or not believe.
Oh, I agree that imposing beliefs is wrong – I think if people are to believe in God, they have to come to it on their own time, on their own terms, walking their own path of belief. I also believe in the abilities of reason – if there’s a tenement of my faith, a value I’m supposed to hold, that doesn’t stand up to reason, I don’t hold it. =P God being the one thing beyond rational proof, it’s simply a matter of “yes” or “no”. You have free will, you’re perfectly allowed to make that choice.
And trust me, if someone tried to use God to justify a false or crappy law, I’d be right there knocking it down, too.
PS: They’re not bad, but that’s just proof you’re a heathen. =P I listen more to progressive music, along with death/black metal, myself.
The debate seems like it may be on the verge of getting definitional, and those debates bore me to tears, so I’m ejecting, though I will reiterate my rejection of your assertion that I just need to have a little faith. Anyway, you seem like a sensible and witty kind of guy Aaron, have a good life.
If either of you truly knew anything about theism and atheism, you’d know that when it comes to philosophy and theology, Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens are hacks.
Dawkins is a biologist, and “The God Delusion” avoided almost all of the central (and strongest) arguments for theism. His central argument in his book was laughably inconclusive, and did not in any way, prove that God does not exist. He’s an expert in biology, no doubt, but in the realm of philosophy he has no chance.
Hitchens, on the other hand is a JOURNALIST. His book, “God is not Great” centrally appeals to what is known as “the problem of evil,” a subject that is more or less not debated anymore as it no longer has any worth for the atheist to press against the theist. God and evil can coexist.
Hitchens actually debated William Lane Craig, a noted Christian philosopher a number of months ago, and Hitchens’ performance was absolutely embarrassing, appealing mostly to satire and anger to attempt to convince audience members of his point.
Sorry, but neither of these guys have a clue.
Quentin Smith, a noted atheist, has himself even expressed his dissatisfaction with Dawkins attempt to enter into the world of philosophy. Basically called him a fool.
So many atheists claim that Christians are clueless. Beware, that shoe fits just as well on your feet too.
#75. Yeh, name one. Between them, those two authors have demolished Augustine “proofs” and all that ridiculous ID stuff.
As an atheist, I do not claim Christians are clueless, cluelessness knows no borders. As I said before, the theist Aaron seems interesting and well informed, the theist Vincent seems like a clueless twat. And there are plenty of idiot atheists around too.
Incidentally, what do you think was the “central argument” of the God Delusion? Atheists don’t need to prove that god does not exist, they just need to debunk the arguments that he does. Similarly, creationists don’t need to prove that evolution is wrong, scientists need to prove that it is right. The null hypothesis stands until the alternative is proven.
OK so I had a rough day today so I smoked a nice spliff after work and found this hilarious website. Then i checked out the comments on some posts and came to this one which started out typically and then the atheist debate was interesting and the religious folk were present making there case (lol) and then i was sober and wondering what the FUCK I HAD BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST 2 HOURS???!?!!!? what are we all doing here? life is bizare folks that’s all i can say