Friday, April 29, 2011

Harry Potter and the Deathly 1911

previous post: Crushed Connections

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38 Comments

  1. tl;dr

  2. Have a life; don’t give a shit about Harry Potter.

  3. gotta admit, I thought just the same, but in the opposite way… if Voldemort wanted so bad to kill Harry Potter, he could just leave him stuck in some ‘Lord-Of-War’-esque alley and let the lead do its job.

  4. jesus, why are my posts waiting moderation? Fuck this shit.

    this has been on another similar site for a day or 2 already.

  5. tl;dr – and hate Harry Potter anyways.

    Ok? So, it’s been on another site “for a day or 2 already.” – Who cares?
    It’s probably going to be on a lot of sites.

  6. tl;dr

  7. Proof of why Americans shouldn’t be given any more bloody guns.

  8. Shouldn’t You Be In The Kitchen, Elizabeth?

  9. tl;dr

  10. Proof of why English people shouldn’t invent anymore Harry Potters.

  11. The only reason there should be 7 Harry Potter movies, is if each one ends with Harry and Ron doing Hermione in some “pig on a spit” action.

  12. @mrboddy.

    Shouldn’t You Go Back To School And Learn That Capitalising Every Letter Of Your Sentence Is Both Annoying And Unnecessary?

  13. @DukeGuy

    Did you mention *gasp* Fail Book? If you write it as one word, your comments sure as hell will be awaiting moderation.
    Anyway, that’s the page I’ve been sticiking to lately. Lamebook’s posts these days are crap.

  14. @Elizabeth

    Do. You. Prefer. Taking. Pauses. In. Your. Head?

  15. In one of the earlier books they mention they told the UK govt to put news out that Sirius Black had a gun which they explain to the other wizards is a “wand for muggles”, so the wizard world is aware of them. They also explain early on as part of the canon that most muggle technology doesn’t work in places with wizards, but having said that if the Weasleys were able to charm an Anglia to work they could do the same with a firearm, but it would have a mind of its own…

  16. It’s actually pretty bad ass for those of you who didn’t read. I don’t like Harry Potter myself, but if it were written like that then I totally would read it.

    @Elizabeth
    I don’t see what this has to do with Americans having guns. To Americans, guns embody the ideal of defending yourself, your family, and your property, as well as personal freedom. What the fuck does that have to do with the gritty reboot of “Harry Potter: Wizard Hunter”? Are you retarded?

  17. @stubbyholder
    Rule 34 man, Rule 34.

  18. And actually a protego charm would keep you safe from bullets… ooops, lost hold on my inner nerd’s leash there for a second

  19. CommentsAtLarge

    Someone’s gonna be pissed that this guy got a hold of an advanced copy of Call Of Duty: Hogwarts.

  20. ifitwerentformyhorse

    TLDR

  21. @lexluther I generally skip over long posts. Especially long posts that contain horrible grammar and “leet speak.” And I am neither a fan, nor a hater, of Harry Potter. This post seemed well written, however, and I was bored, so I gave it a shot. It was worth it. A lot of creativity went into that post.

    I’d read the books, or play the video game, if it were written like that. So… to all of you who simply read the title and decided to post a negative comment, I have one thing to say. Ha! Your loss. :)

    @CommentsAtLarge Win.

  22. Best. Lamebook. Post. Ever.

  23. I would read/play/watch this version if just for the one scene where he’s/you’re lying in the forest in the invisibility cloak and blow someone’s head away in a spray of pink mist with a Barrett .50 cal. So cool!

  24. I’m not wild about Harry, either, sexluther, but I’m with you on this one. This is a good read. It makes me want to fire one of those high-powered babies (there are a couple of people I know whose heads I’d love to see turn to pink mist). I’ve actually been looking into getting a gun licence, but in this neck of the woods, it’s a complicated process to get one even for a simple air rifle. Bloody annoying.

  25. @sphatika: Yawn… no wait a second… yes, YAWN. Hang on, I fell asleep in the middle. It’s almost like your aiming to be boring, such a gift.

  26. LMAO this post actually made me laugh out loud – first in a while!
    “scratching a lighting bolt into his rifle stock for each kill” really got me :D

  27. oh my god, i need to find this james and marry him.

  28. I like Harry Potter, but this is just too much for me.

  29. most european countries dont allow guns unless they are in the military. even the police force just carry blunt objects. if she put guns instead of wands in the books she would have been dissed and she wouldnt have gotten so many awards now in america it would be different.

  30. @Roydawgg “even the police force just carry blunt objects” …. soooo I am guessing they either attach a handle to you, or just a cock holster?

  31. cock holster LOL

  32. You can shoot Voldemort all you want, mate, but unless you’ve destroyed his horcruxes, then you won’t be killing him, you’ll only be destroying his body. He’ll just get one of his Death Eaters to help him make a new body and start all over again.

  33. This moron is way too obsessed with guns. If he wants to see something shooting at him with high velocity, then I’ll wank into his face

  34. Man I hate stereotypical Americans…

  35. Let’s not make this a UK/US angst thing. I mean, I’m from the US and I’ve been saying since book 4 that the MI6 should raid hogwarts

  36. Way too long, and pedantic, and nerdy, and generally retarded, and every twelve year old who reads Harry Potter immediately formulates the “OMG THEY SHOULD JUST GET A GUN” argument, as if that was the biggest flaw in a childrens book about fucking MAGIC.

  37. You would be dreaming about magic too if you didn’t have access to actual firearms (but Brits can still emulate Americans in video games!).

  38. Albert Pierrepoint

    What an imbecile.Firearms are useless in the wizard-world, only blades and enchantments are lethal.Magic is too old to accomodate technology–imagine Arthur drawing the magic shotgun from the stone or Prince Caspian freeing Narnia with his enchanted Smith and Wesson 40/40. Start with guns and owls would be superceded by mobile phones,the Lady of the Lake would use DHL and broomsticks banned on safety grounds.
    FYI most European countries permit or have permitted the ownership of firearms, even Britain had plenty of handguns in private hands until the late 1990s and every Swiss male keeps his army rifle at home. The English Bill of Rights that predates the American Constitution by a century and which was liberally copied by the Founding Fathers asserts the rights of Englishmen to bear arms as regulated by law. The difference is that, apart from the odd Norwegian nut-job, Europeans do not see the need to run around mowing down their neighbours because their school grades were low or their sexual organs not as large as they would have liked.

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