Monday, November 15, 2010

Hands Up!

previous post: Wins to Start the Week

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48 Comments

  1. Dammit Mom, You know Claire doesn’t like to suck dick.

  2. i would donate £100 to lamebook if they banned all the unfunny commenters who think they rule the site and are hilarious when theyre not. cue a load of unfunny insults directed at me by noobs such as britishobo and other fags, unless theyve finally got a life. i bet they dont even donate to lamebook, fags

  3. Lamebook: Serious Business.

  4. joh titor u are so funny hahahahaha!!!!11 omg! that catchphrase is classic luls!!!!1 hahaah soo funny john titor you slay me

  5. anonisgayisgay is frodo.

  6. By the looks of Vicki, Claire must be well in her 40′s. I guess it isn’t just the sons that are the basement dwelling, WoW geeks.

  7. Burn…..you just got burned anonisgayisgay…. burned! waaaa

  8. Interesting that Vicki seems to think that “doing things with your hands or oral” somehow has nothing to do with “the urges of your body.” It ain’t sex unless there’s full penetration, right Vicki? Whatever.

  9. yes… I stole Anonisgayisgay’s name because he is an idiot, but don’t worry i wont steal anyone else’s name. :)

  10. Christ. “Ask your father” …. about his and your mother’s wedding night? That’d make for an awkward conversation.

  11. who are you, he who has the power to steal usernames?

  12. loupy – not necessarily. It doesn’t indicate anywhere on the page that she lives at home or is a nerd or geek or anything of the sort. Just that she is engaged and her mom is her friend on facebook and posts inappropriate things.

  13. MEG strikes again!

  14. Hi Kyle. How are you doing? New?

  15. I am uber-username-man… Fear me :)

  16. and parents wonder why their kids won’t friend them on Facebook.
    On the other hand, if you’re posting about your sex life, you deserve whatever you get.

  17. everyone should just stay away from facebook…. they evil I tells ya…

  18. anon really is gay though.

  19. Claire, you must resist the urges of your mother to tell you how to think and behave, even though you’re old enough to get married. Otherwise your wedding night will be that much more awkward, clueless and unsatisfying. Just ask your father when he’s had a few drinks

  20. Ha, this is nuts not knowing who is who. Someone do me!

  21. I just did you ;)

    Only this once though :)

  22. Claire: “Hey Dad? Will my wedding night be that much better if I wait to get sexed up by my wonderful fiance?”

    Mr. Vicki: “Listen honey, don’t listen to your twat of a mother. She had me in a blue-ball headlock for three years before we got married. For the love of all things holy, screw your husband-to-be, or he will have dreams of leaving your prudish ass.”

  23. Oh I feel privileged. Thank you whoever you are. :-)

  24. I’m really sad that a massive troll argument hasn’t started yet. This post is such a great target for one, it could practically be called “Bull’s Eye”…

  25. @curly – welcome. :)
    I’m from Cali. We have pretty much figured out that it is the best choice to sleep with as many people as possible before you plan on tying the knot. Absolutely essential to maintaining good mental health, really.

  26. vaginalroundhouse

    I bet that coochie feels like sand paper

  27. slicingupeyeballs

    I’m pretty sure that asking your kids to imagine their parents ‘doing stuff with their hands or oral’ will temper the urges of their horny young bodies.

    Well played Mum, well played…

  28. I dont see the problem with this advice… Akward that it is over Facebook, but at least the mother tells her daughter to give blowjobs!

    Thats not that bad of a deal for the fiance.

  29. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    anonisgayisgay is Frodo, wrapped in a Ben-Wallace sandwich, quivering in a pool of his own failure.

  30. Aw, no, you used a Capital C for curlybap, but it woulnd’t be so easy, the others seem identical…

    @ curlybap : It must be monday and I must be tired, but that “someone do me” looked really bad until whoever impersonated you cleared it up ;)

  31. polsvoice, it won’t happen because it’s been done so many times before that it’s old news (Sorry, it really is, anonisgay/Justin/Curly/fleur). On the other hand, the commenters who have multiple accounts and screw up by posting a comment under the wrong name are a little more noteworthy. It happened on the weekend. It was funny.

    slicingupeyeballs, I like your name.

  32. You’re not fooling god by doing oral.

  33. Polsvoice, your name is amazing.

  34. @nexus – I’m quite aware that the whole trolling thing is old news. I was just feeling very left out and wanted to be impersonated. I feel validated now ;-)

  35. I kinda heart anonisgayisgay, because he is right.Does that make me gay?
    I imagine us growing old together raising a trio of cats and taking up chess.

  36. It’s identical now! ;)

  37. @nexus Yeah, I saw that. But it happened so quickly and was explained away before anything could get interesting, it hardly replaces the entertainment of a full-on flame war.

    @junebarcarole Thanks :)

  38. Vicki, what’s the rule for anal?

  39. @fapper girl – ‘Ask her Father’

  40. that mom is awesome – i love parents – reminded me of the coolest mom ever http://seriouslysorry.com/apology/865 !

  41. @sarah2p
    If you weren’t too busy plugging your website you might notice that what Vicki said was incredibly creepy and more then a little sick. Seriously sorry that your website has no visitors but stop plugging adds please.

  42. yes, wait until your daughter is engaged to have “the talk” with her and tell her to give HJs and BJs.

    i’ll give vicki the benefit of the doubt and just assume claire didn’t grow up with her so vicki’s just making up for lost time in claire’s adolescence.

  43. Having real, intimate sex is an evil and dastardly thing! go mouth fuck and give your fiance squeezers instead! This will leave you pure in the name of the lord. Amen!

  44. Maybe I’m daft, but seriously … why is oral any less sexual than intercourse really?
    It’s kind of like saying you smoke but don’t inhale.
    Semantics.

  45. @44
    Yepp, you’re clearly daft.

  46. Oral is not at all like intercourse. Oral doesn’t make babies. Oral is also slightly less bloody. The only way it’s similar to intercourse is that she doesn’t have to be alive.

    It is funny to have a mom publicly suggest oral as an alternative to sex. The wedding night wouldn’t be better, though. The chances would only increase that it’d be like opening your presents on Christmas morning and being disappointed that you only got a hand job from your grammy, and you can’t take it back.

  47. I would always advocate sex before ‘using your hands’ – simply because once I’ve fisted the shit out of that cooch, sticking Mr.Johnson in there is like stirring a can of paint with a straw

  48. I too often look to my parents for sex tips.

    It’s always good to have them cheering me on and offering up advice whilst i ream away at some girls innards.

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