Sunday, January 24, 2010

Haitin’ 3

For more info on how to help Haiti, click here.

previous post: The Twilight Saga: It Continues…



  1. ha! that was amazing.

    swear jar? i bet he is a pussy on a short leash

  2. Note to Lamebook – please only post funny or lame stuff, not this boring bullshit.

  3. Hahaha I fucking love it.

  4. @ jools I found it very funny!

  5. @jools u mad?

  6. michael ftw

  7. HAHA Michael is hilarious!

  8. eduardo is doing right and great job! other ppl have no fucking idea what’s going on outside world except America! nothing hillarious here. its about stupid ppl.

  9. eduardo is doing right and great job! other ppl have no fucking idea what’s going on outside world except America! nothing hilarious here. its about stupid ppl.

  10. fuck jools.

    she brings way too much negativity to the comments.

  11. ROFL ~! I think it’s funny. Negative, self centered people, crying about how much America sucks = hilarious.

    On another note.

    I have been collecting donations for Haiti via the Red Cross, at my job, by asking them to round up to the nearest dollar. (Total is 18.79, round up to 19.00) and I’ve actually have had people deny Haiti 4 cents.

  12. Go Rene. Haiti was ducked well before the earthquake. I guess helping rebuild a country that will just revert back to a crime riddled shit hole once the next fad cause comes along, seems logically fallible. 240,000 people died in Sumatra six years ago. Where was the “hope for Sumatra” pledge drive? Enjoy the bandwagon Eduardo.

  13. Just found out Haitis not in the Pacific, but an island in South America! It’s like they changed the map since I was a kid, for real!

  14. Get your facts right, slick.

  15. Jax is Frodo.

  16. “…if we just get out our ass…”

    Mooning for Haiti?


    Indonesian officials released a toll of 13,000 for the island of Sumatra the day after the event, raised that figure to 26,000 on Dec. 29 and said that 96,000 were dead and 132,000 were still missing a month later. The final, official toll was 220,000.

    Don’t mean to derail. So that’s all I’m replying to jax.

  18. “America can help itself if we just get out our asses and accept government aid.”

    Isn’t that America’s problem? Too many people relying on government aid? WTF happened to getting a job, supporting yourself and NOT relying on other taxpayers money?

    Eduardo is a fool.

  19. If a person has to advertise that they’re “doing something” good, it rather negates the whole purpose, doesn’t it? If you want to “do something,” do it and shut the fuck up about it, already. Self-righteousness is an ugly, ugly thing.

  20. Maybe Eduardo should stop trying to guilt trip people just because he tossed Haiti some change. His wife must be so awed.

    “Hey, honey… I couldn’t help noticing that your countryfolk appear to be dying in vast numbers, with many more living in even worse squalor than usual. You want I break out the swear jar? Hold on, I think I might have some quarters in the laundry tin.”

  21. WTF is happening here? Guy mentions Haiti, girl insults America, guy yells at girl for insulting America because his wife is Haitan (???) girl tells guy he fails, guy swears, Michael talks nonsense in the background.

    This makes no sense.

  22. Eduardo is quite the douche. I don’t see why he tells Rene to read a textbook after mentioning that his wife is Haitian. Heres something, his wife and him are also American(presumably), so do you think he ever broke out the ‘ol swear jar to donate to charities at home?

  23. I just think it is sad that it took a disaster for people to realize how much Haiti needs America.

  24. Eduardo is too desperate for praise.

    Rene is a prick.

    Michael is funny.

  25. I enjoyed Michaels background comments, that’s what made this funny

  26. Rene is a bit of a tool if he can’t see the difference between America and an already poor country that has been further devastated by an earthquake.

    In saying that, Eduardo sounds too self-righteous for (swear)words.

  27. I miss being Christian sometimes. It’s so easy to say, “I’ll pray for you!” and then walk away feeling good like I did something awesomely great.

    Now, as an atheist, in order to feel like I did something good I actually have to get off my ass (or knees) and do something good.

  28. why not help your own country AND help haiti? just an idea rene.

  29. mol

    Really? Saying that you are donating money to a charity publicly negates the money? Money only is transferred if you do it secretly?

    Self righteous? Maybe, but he’s correct. People “pray” and it doesn’t do shit and they say it out loud all the time.

  30. The sad thing is people think if they aren’t doing something as epic as saving a life they shouldn’t bother doing anything. Donating even a moment of time or a dollar to a cause HELPS.

  31. wonder why eduardo insists on denying the power of prayer?

    probably because he’s been trying his whole life to pray the gay away with no success whatsoever.

  32. Eddy isn’t necessarily self centered in this case, he’s just trying to promote awareness and getting other people to help too

  33. GrammaticalErrors

    @slickjamesjik….unfortunately I think the caring and donation to causes is affected by your relative proximity to the disaster/cause etc…

    In Australia we had a number of fund raising efforts for Indonesia after the Tsunami and Earthquakes etc…(granted not as big as the US is able to do when they get behind something, but hey we are smaller). I also believe that while many Australian’s are pledging their support for Haiti there was definitely more talk and more support given and money raised for Indonesia and surrounding areas simply due to its proximity to Australia.

  34. Eduardo thinks America can solve its problems by accepting government aid? Then he calls his friend ignorant?

    @naked animals – you are exactly right.

    Eduardo is a tool.

  35. The only redeeming person in this whole shindig is michael…

  36. I’m just saying, why publicize it? If someone has to tell everyone how wonderful they are, then they’re usually a jackass with a change jar like this Eduardo guy.

  37. I don’t know, I think Eduardo was probably sick of people posting updates like “Haiti will be in my prayers tonight” and was calling his friends on not caring enough to do something that’s actually useful. There’s certainly more than a hint of self-satisfaction when he announced that he donated his swear jar but I don’t think we get to feel superior to him just because he’s smug about his donation. It’s still great that he donated.

    That part about how Americans have problems too is just privileged bullshit. Yes, a lot of people in America are having a rough time right now but it’s nothing compared to the poor quality of life Haitians and the citizens of many, many other countries live in normally. Add a fucking earthquake on top of that and you have people who could really use some support.

  38. @alordslums

    u. r. funny.

  39. I gotta say, as a person who was hit pretty hard by the economy (my husband, a programmer, was unemployed half of 2009) I never once felt like I had it “so bad” compared to 99% of the world population. We could down grade to a studio apartment and get rid of our car/cable/sell most of our things and STILL have it better than most of the world.

    The entitlement/ignorance is shocking and disgusting.

  40. While everyone is singing the praises of Michael, can I just say he failed bigtime in his first comment, trying to take the mick saying “You said “dumbass”..another dollar for Haiti.” What about the very blatant fvck in there. I believe that beats dumbass hands down

  41. Donmega, please note michaels last comment in response to yours

  42. I just need to point out to Tim that Haiti is not in South America.

  43. Jesus FUCK.

    The comments in response to this post are so dumb as shit. Are you all from YouTube, or something?

    Yeah, Eduardo is being self-righteous, but Rene has no concept of just how impoverished Haiti is and how filthy rich the U.S. is in comparison. Michael’s a trooper for calling Eduardo out, but Jesus, he’s so fucking smug about the whole thing.

  44. @EatBooks: No I’m not from Youtube, I’m from the corner of spaz and window licker lane. You blasphemous bastard!

  45. Oh how nice it is to see Rene’s buddies on lamebook. Morons.

    Good for Eduardo and lol @ Michael for keeping count. :) Rene is just an ignorant bitch.

  46. Rene FAIL. Michael FTW!

  47. You know, the bitch in me thought that the fight was still going on when it said “For more information to help Haiti, click here”

  48. Rene sounds like a bellend.

  49. Hmmm.. so Americans can help themselves by getting off their asses and accepting government aid. WTF?? Is laziness really the biggest impediment to receiving handouts in America?

  50. @slickjamesjik, Tim, Penny Lane… +8million

    @swverausc214… FAIL. Look up the “geawegraphy” thread.

  51. you guys litterally make me sick. I get on this page for a good laugh. and yet again..more drama here. We have it pretty good here things may get hard at times but at least we are not fricken homeless and starving. we have shelters and food banks. WE DO help our own it is just a matter of people getting over there pride to except the handouts that are offered… I think what that donating the swear jar is an awsome idea… and it does not speak saying he is on a tight leash..maybe he is just a good father… because my mom did it for us groing up..then donated the money to the church. as for you people doging him to the are just greddy and only care about yourself… i sure bet you would not be saying the crap u say if you lived ther, or ur parents, or ur preciuous wife and kids…think before you speak. and IGNORENCE IS NO EXCUSE….GROW UP

  52. @alordslums – I really hope you were being ironic, but I think perhaps that it unlikely.

    If not, your argument (if one could call it such) is flawed in about 100 ways.

    Firstly, if we take from this that you believe in “the power of prayer”, there is the obvious deduction that you believe in the Judeo-Christian God. For your statement to be true, this God would have to be at least omnscient and omnibenevolent (you probably believe He is omnipotent too, but as I’m sure you can see, that in itself would contradict you). Given that this is true, this God would not ignore the repenting “sinner” that is the homosexual. Thus, you have disproved prayer as a viable option of aid.

    Secondly, this man is clearly heterosexual.

    Thirdly, if the “gay” comment is the first thing that sprang to mind, surely someone is hiding some demons and projecting them to unsuspecting philanthropists on the internet.

    To conclude, you are not funny or clever.

    All the best,


  53. @ #13 and #42: Not only is Haiti not in South America, it’s also not an island.

  54. lostintranslation

    @tuckin: I believe poster #13 was being humorous by making reference to a previous lamebook post…

  55. MsLogical, you take life WAY too seriously… and using big words to show off how smart you are, actually makes you sound like a douche.

  56. @ MsLogical … thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

    Tim’s geawegraphy which confuses some people, is funny. The map has changed yet again, however, and Haiti is now part of an island, for real!

  57. Well Haiti is on an island, but technically I guess they’re only half an island

  58. If you look at it that way, everywhere is on an island though :)

  59. @52:

    i am not a believer in any abrahamic religion, nor even in the vaguest wisp of a numina. i also do not in any way believe eduardo to be a practising homosexual.

    i think you read a bit too much into my post sweetheart. ;-)

    as alfred brendel once said: ‘you need three or five hands to play ligeti.’

    i think you’re using one finger.

  60. Well at least he is doing a good job and helping people. And I totally agree with the status about praying and joining groups.Talking to the invisible dude or pressing is not gonna help people.
    Funny post though.

  61. pressing a button *

  62. Rene is a bit of a dickturd, but mister Self congratulations had it coming.
    He seems like he has a bit of potty mouth going on, but isn’t relegating ONLY swear jar monies a bit of an insult to our CENTRAL AMERICAN brothers and sisters…? Perhaps akin to sending them toilet roll you already used. Hey buddy why not just write them a check instead of setting off a chain of reactions where you’d end up looking like a self righteous twat after broadcasting to the world that you’d only give them cash in a money laundering operation masked by some blaspheme remuneration clause…

    If your wife’s from Haiti and you wanna help so much maybe you should only put money in the jar when you feel smug and self satisfied with a token contribution while slating others. If it was a smug jar, he’d either go broke, or stumble across the prototype for a perpetual motion machine.

    But this guy needs to work on his recruitment/donation pitch…
    Like some of you need to own an atlas, or just google that shit, why do Americans think it’s rad to know the square root of fuck all about geography…? Why?

  63. OMG!!! Tim and alproshazam think that Haiti is in South and Central America….My God! Surely the fact that you are commenting on Lamebook shows that you are at a computer with an internet connection…for fuck’s sake man…Google is your friend…stop wallowing in your filth of ignorance. I hope that if you did send anything to Haiti, you sent it to the right address…..fuck!

    Again with the fucking American bashing Alproshazam…YOU need a fucking atlas or google you dumb shit.

    I shall say this once :

    Haiti shares an island with the Dominican Republic and is an INDEPENDENT nation in the CARIBBEAN.

  64. Least America is doing a better job than it did with New Orleans.

  65. This is how I talk, I’m not attempting to be a “douche”. There is nothing wrong with making use of your vocabulary.

    As I said before, if you were being ironic, the post was negated.

    I think you should have thought about the implications of your statement before posting it. I, among many others have an extreme dislike to the word “gay” being used as an insult as it demonises homosexuals. It appeared to be alordslums’s intention to insult Eduardo by using this word, and as such I am explaining why I found it offensive, and why it was irrelevant and incorrect.


  66. @Penny LAME, It really grinds my gears when “all knowing” atheists think that prayer is Only about asking God to help others. It’s also about f’q'n empathy. When you pray you empathise more, thus putting yourself in a better frame of mind to donate or help in whatever way you f’q'n can. Shitf’q.
    Know what else really grinds my gears? The sound of grinding gears.

  67. @Penny Lane…Who says you can’t do something good from your knees?

    Eduardo is a tool. 1.) He liked his own status. 2.) While it’s commendable that he donated to a worthy cause, he did it in a way that excuses what he considers a vice (he…or his wife…obviously does not condone swearing or there would be no swear jar). 3.) Rene’s first comment is valid. As Eduardo stated later, Rene is unemployed, and probably not in any kind of position to donate. Rene probably shouldn’t have said anything, but Eduardo definitely did not have a reason to go off like he did. 4.) Eduardo’s solution to America’s problems is accepting a check from the Government, without any consideration to where the Government gets the money. 5.) Yes, Haiti is in a bad situation, and the earthquake was devastating, and they need all the help they can get…but what about all the places that are just as poor, and are in the midst of civil war? Eduardo is just as ignorant as Rene.

    I applaud Eduardo for donating to Haiti…but he’s completely self-righteous about it. His wife’s from there, I believe that’s the sole reason he’s donating to it. What’s unfortunate about the whole situation is that after a year or so, people will forget about Haiti…just like with Darfur and Sumatra, etc…and there will be some new place that’s “in more dire circumstances” and the money stops coming in.

  68. lamebookpro…
    I factually looked at a globe and made my erroneous judgement based on a massive chunk of text that reads CENTRAL AMERICA that stretches onto some Caribbean islands…
    I stand corrected… and found out that the Caribbean is a part of North America apparently, unless lamebookpro says otherwise… but yeh, everyday’s a school day I guess…

  69. @Alproshazam…my apologies for flying off the handle and calling you a dumbshit. I’m not the most geographical person either and it seems that you did try to check your facts and were misled by the globe. Actually the Caribbean is not really part of North America either…and I mean that in the nicest possible way :-)

  70. @Marklar “When you pray you empathise more, thus putting yourself in a better frame of mind to donate”

    So, on the empirical scale of empathy, people who pray are higher up? I think “pray” could just be substituted with “think about”.

    @mitchell61208 “IGNORENCE IS NO EXCUSE….GROW UP”


    @MsLogical “To conclude, you are not funny or clever.”


    So ends my my snide synopsis for the day.

  71. My, my, my.

  72. @lamebookpro


  73. Something I learned today from the lamebook commentariat: people who don’t pray apparently does not empathise as much as people who do pray, and is therefore in not as good a frame of mind to donate as those saying their prayers.

    Alproshazam was right, every day is a school day. *gmpf!*

  74. Michael has a good attitude.

    I hate people who are as ignorant as Rene, seems like he/she wants the attention of being the black sheep, and therefore acts ignorant. We see way too much of this lately.

  75. Fuck haiti. It’s nothing but a publicity stunt to redeem USA’s lost image.

  76. 510 “likes”. Really? :0/ of what exactly?
    Many of you have great points .. some, not so much.

    over 200,000 dead and nearly 3million homeless.
    3 million! It takes my breath away to imagine it.
    That’s what??? The entire US state of Iowa without a home. Or the city of Birmingham, UK living on the streets.. not forgetting Brisbane & Perth in Australia without a bed tonight.

    And 200,000 dead~ same population as: Richmond, VA. Or Huntington Beach, CA. How about Malmo, Sweden .. or Porto, Portugal.. take your pick .. which one should be obliterate today?

    Publicity stunt? Bitching about which country is “representing” more than another?

    We all have crap going on in our own small piece of the universe but this is an immense natural disaster of which the average “you and I” can not begin to fathom.

    are we all full after breakfast today? enoying our hot coffee this morning? internet, cable tv, comfy sofa and perhaps a beer right now whilst contemplating what time to go to sleep tonight in a nice warm dry safe bed, with our nearest and dearest around us??

  77. I feel sorry for Haiti and don’t mean to say that they don’t deserve help but I’m with Rene. If not for the help of my friends I would be homeless right now and even then this house hold doesn’t get food. To the person that mentioned food banks, Every time I have been to the food banks around here they have no food for us because it’s been given too all the illegal immigrants that were there before hand. So all you people that are saying that USA doesn’t have it bad then lose your jobs and see how easy it is to live. Until then don’t tell people that are not willing to support Haiti cause of domestic reasons to “get their facts straight.”

    End rant

  78. Don’t take me out of context. All I said was that prayer helps you empathise. I didn’t say you can only empathise through prayer. Stop putting words in my mouth. The only thing I want in my mouth is marklar.

  79. oooh sorry there Tim….insider joke :-)

  80. I think people need to watch what they say about Haiti and why we shouldn’t bother, yatta yatta yatta…

    Haiti needs our resources, and perhaps other natural disasters didn’t get as much attention from the N.A. countries, but the reason it is hitting big is because they are our neighbour.
    The point is that we have access to resources which can help turn our life around. They don’t, so yes they were in trouble before (and there were already lots of programs, and charities that were involved in the country trying to help, for those that think we are only helping now for the first time) but now more than ever do they need our help as a neighbour, and as human beings.

    And by no means am I implying that everyone should donate, but if you can spare, then do so.

    I’m completely with #76 McG on this one. Those that think “fuck Haiti” (which I’ve seen dozens of times in the last few weeks) should remember who their neighbours are, and what kind of resources we have access to in North America and that those that can help should.

    Golden rule – Treat others how you want to be treated.

  81. And I know I’m a bit of a hypocrite in this case, but since when did Lamebook turn into people arguing?

  82. MsLogic, you’ve confused me with “alordslums”… I didn’t call anyone “gay” that was my first post in this thread.

    But if that actually IS the way you talk. Yes you are a douche.

  83. Why do people get to be self important when they spend money on themselves, but when they spend money on the poor they are supposed to be hush hush…seems backwards.

    The only purpose in this backwards social rule seems to spare those who don’t share their wealth from feeling bad by those who do so openly.

  84. Marklar, talking to the invisible man in the sky is not the only, nor the most prudent way to gain empathy. I don’t recall that part of the Bible either.

  85. @Penny Lane, only dumbarse sheeple think God is an invisible man in the sky.

  86. …well some sources tell me that the Caribbean islands are part of the North American continent, but I really couldn’t give a shit anymore… maybe I’m an American who, did that on purpose, because I think that geographical ignorance = sexiness… No I’m not I just have a shit globe

  87. Praying helps, I honestly believe that when you pray (to whomever or whatever) you focus your own intent to resolve whatever the issue is. It is a means of putting power behind thought. Prayer is not useless if it assists the pray-er, even if that assistance is perceived or felt only by the pray-er.

    I have been reallly poor for several years. Spaceheaters and water shut off poor, no car, rent way overdue poor. However, like @PennyLane, I am never so stupid as to imagine that I have worse than many many others in the world. I count myself lucky to have healthy kids, a roof over my head, food in the fridge, etc.

  88. Rene’s a fucking idiot.

  89. eduardo: “america can help itself if we just get out our ass and accept government aid” ???

    you fucking prick. helping yourself doesn’t involve sitting on your ass and accepting handouts. furthermore, there’s no such thing as government aid. it’s government-distributed aid and it comes from hard working americans’ paychecks, i.e. people who actually have helped themselves.

    stop taking 40% of my paycheck. wait, that’s not going to happen so at least use it for something worthy like education. what the fuck does “get out our ass” mean anyways?? yea right, that’s not going to happen either so i guess i’ll just continue to work 75+ hour weeks so you can afford dvr.


  90. Heaven forbid we ever help anyone less fortunate than ourselves. Oh no, my hard-earned money might be going to assist someone who’s disabled or mentally ill or just plain fallen on hard times…how shall I ever live with myself???

    The government has to force people to help out others because, left to their own devices, most people are too entitled, judgmental, and selfish to do so on their own. Sad but true. Next time you want to complain about the government giving “your hard-earned money” to people who YOU don’t feel are worthy of it (and who the hell are you to judge someone else’s worth or need, anyway?), then why don’t you get off your ass and go volunteer somewhere, like at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen or crisis hotline. Then you can actually SEE what your tax dollars are going for, and you can help people one-on-one.

    In short: Get off your entitled ass and do some good in this world. It won’t kill you.

  91. cunninglinguist:

    if you knew some stuff, you would know that homeless shelters, soup kitchens and crisis hotlines are funded by: donations! not tax dollars. but you are right because serving in one of these capacities will definitely help someone see what tax dollars do for the poor: keeps them poor and relying on the government instead of requiring them to seek personal responsibility. but hey it was a good try though!

  92. @ cunninglinguist

    you sound like someone who gets their political and current event knowledge strictly from the daily show.

    it’s funny how you mention the large problem i have helping those less fortunate; specifically the disabled, mentally ill or those “fallen on hard times”. i take care of my older sister and nephew, raised a little over $500k for my adopted cancer patient “daughter” while in school and, though i deploy for work, when at home, volunteer at a Christian retreat center for kids with autism. i think i nailed that one. thanks for giving me the forum to share; i am a great person.

    don’t know where you got the idea i didn’t want to help people anyways. i’m pretty sure my post focused on the idea of “helping yourself doesn’t involve sitting on your ass and accepting handouts”

    furthermore, asking the government to do something is by far the least efficient way to get it done. i get the pleasure of seeing this red tape in action on a daily basis. you can figure for every $1 taken in taxes for social programs to “help people” a few $.01 will make it to those in need

    in short: stfu and stop taking 40% of my paycheck, dick.

  93. Wow…I wonder if the folks at the “Christian” camp where you volunteer know you have anger and language problems…. Hope you can hide those well (for the kids’ sakes).

    Also, Mr “LaughingMyAssOffJustKiddingLaughOutLoudRollingOnTheFloorLaughing”: you have an exceedingly irritating user name. And I think Jesus would back me up on that :o P

  94. Indeed thou art correct, my child. I would indeed say that his user name of quite the irritating nature. However, in My wisdom, so I also discern that you are a douche.

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