Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Hairy Potter and the Sorcerer’s Bone

previous post: The Problem and Solution

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36 Comments

  1. Ben!

  2. balls

  3. This post reminds me of the girl that sat in front of me in high school and wrote erotic stories about her and her online boyfriend. I actually started to look forward to that class just to see what she would come up with next, haha.

  4. Does Harry Potter have a pool?

  5. YOU SAW WHAT I WROTE!!???

    JK lol

  6. Hahaha my friends & I found some in 8th grade on livejournal and read them. They’re hilarious.

    It had Ron & Hermione & Neville (eurghhh)

  7. Chewbacca shagger

    God i’m glad i have no idea what they are on about. I have never watched Harry Potter movies.

  8. C. Proseedcake KSC

    7. Chewbacca shagger
    April 13th, 2010 at 6:42 pm

    God, I hate it! God, I’ve never seen it, that’s how much I hate it!

  9. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    ^^ issues…

  10. Adam must be a friend of Harry Potter himself. He certainly knew all the spells, and how to spell them LOL

  11. oops sorry! Meant to say fan, not friend.

  12. It scares me how well they know the spell names. They’re probably looking up Rule 34 fanfics of Harry Potter as we speak (or, erm, type, so to speak).

  13. Loving the jokes.
    But gotta admit, I am guilty of reading some yaoi Harry Potter pairings..

  14. @Digi: Honey, honey, it’s not called yaoi when it’s prose. It’s called “slash.” Congrats on outing yourself as an anime nerd.

    Anyways, wingardium leviosa and petrificus totalus are super basic, they appear in the first book/movie, so it’s not so shocking that they know this, they don’t need to be fans. (I say this as a big Harry Potter fan, obviously.)

    Sounds like someone finds AFF more interesting than Philosophy…

  15. Well you would have had to been a fan to make it through the first movie.

    Just not my cup of tea.

  16. chickens dont clap

    Hi, my name is Chickens Don’t Clap and I learned about sex from dirty Harry Potter fanfiction. *phew* feels good to get that out in the open.

  17. That is NOT how a chicken sounds–CHICKENS DON’T CLAP!

  18. There is but one Harry Potter fanfiction of this genre that every sane person needs to have read at least once. It is called…

    “PASSION NIGHT”.
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3853633/1/Passion_Night

    This passionate story (“It’s time for the passion night!”) is a glorious tribute to the act of “doing lube”. Oh yeah.

  19. I had no idea there was such a thing as non-sexual fanfic. I thought that was the entire point of it.

  20. Some of my friends had to read sexual Harry Potter fanfiction from the gay kind for an English class.. Beats Chaucer.

  21. chaucer beats you. from his grave. with his femur. the fan fiction might be more entertaining and ridiculous but chaucer beats homo potter any day of the week.

    and i am not a fan of potter so i’m gonna be the first to say….i don’t know what the hell they’re saying. i get that they’re dick jokes but other than that….no idea.

  22. I’m happy to say, I have no idea what this post was talking about – besides the words sex fiction. I barely know who Harry Potter is.

  23. lead a sheltered life had no idea this “genre” existed,
    thanks for the link, but no thanks jeronimus, that’s twenty seconds of my life totally wasted and gone forever

  24. @lexluther – This is Lamebook. Of course they’re dick jokes.
    Have we come to expect anything else from this site lately?

  25. Well apparantly not knowing Potter is the cool thing to do …

    So i ll just go ahead and admit i read all the books (the non fanfic kind) and saw the movies without being forced to do so.
    And i would so do the movie Hermione , just to hear her posh accent when she talks dirty.

    And some extra info for all of you , in my language potter is actually the slang for gaylord.

  26. @Father Sha, I’m with you!
    Read all the books far too many times and seen the movies. I’ve even met JK Rowling and got my book signed by her.
    However, I don’t like the movies very much, and I completely disagree with you’re ‘doing’ of Emma Watson. Unless you want sex with a girl who constantly flares her nostrils and raises her eyebrows, in which case, good luck! :p

  27. sexy harry potter. that was actually my halloween costume.

  28. Aren’t the Harry Potter people kids? Is this like some sort of pedo-thing going on? That’s kind of sick.

  29. Amtrak , i would do her doggystyle and that way i avoid the flaring and raising of the eyebrow

    What’s left is the delicious posh accent …

    Seebea , she is actually 20 yrs old for the moment so that makes her the ideal age in my book !

  30. I once knew a girl who was obsessed with writing and reading hardcore adult Harry Potter fanfiction, and would constantly force me to read them. Later events would cause her to hate my fucking guts, and me to shrug and go ‘at least I don’t have to read about Harry and Draco fucking any more.’

    Here’s a list of highlights:
    Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are handcuffed together. They fuck.
    Hermione is a rebellious emo who listens to an iPod, calls one of the background characters a bitch and fucks George Weasley up against a wall.
    And, prepare yourself for possibly the most disgusting I’ve ever seen…

    Fred and George Weasley throw snowballs at Hermione Granger.
    Then they fuck.

    J.K. Rowling must be proud.

  31. And I hope Lamebook’s proud for not only bringing back those horrible, horrible repressed memories, but forcing me to share them with y’all :P

  32. If you read the books (as written) but just replace the word “wand” with “wang” it changes the story completely!

  33. while some of you are proud of not knowing what they’re on about… I’m proud of understanding that 100%… and it’s hilarious. XD

  34. lol

  35. 28, They’re generally older.It’s actually quite hot on the site I use.

  36. I also learned a lot about sex by reading fanfiction… I still do it, too. It’s like reading junk food. Satisfies a craving, not really good in large quantities. There are good stories out there though… but it does creep me out when they pair adults with children. (Freakiest pairing? Snape/Harry. EWWWW!)

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