Saturday, July 24, 2010

Good Lord…

previous post: Wins for the Weekend

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60 Comments

  1. Jesus makes my head spin

  2. Last one was pure lame, first was genius

  3. not the funniest of lamebook but at least gives me some hope that there are people in the world who know that jokes apply to any subject and all the ‘holy’ crap isn’t an exception.

  4. Where’s everyone

  5. Meh at best

  6. That fake Jusus is a wanker. Bloody hell. Come up with something funny instead of going on and on with total crap.

  7. @Walter agreed.

  8. dietpillpyramidscheme

    I’m going to disagree with previous posters…
    Funniest we’ve had in a while. Not to say it was genius, but I can get behind some smug Atheism.

  9. there’s been so little win on here recently this could be a derby county fans’ forum.

  10. dietpillpyramidscheme

    It could be a metaphor for the Italian football team: melodramatic, self-absorbed, but not a lot of win.

  11. Well I just hope that “Jesus” realises that Gods investment in you (His son!) was SO great, he could never abandon you!

  12. *waits patiently for Dan_Fagass*

  13. @alord

    Derby County? I feel the epicness of the fail on here lately rivals Liverpool at the very least.

  14. gloriousgoodwood

    Woah woah, mwnci…Hodgson’s gonna turn things around, you’ll see.

  15. @glorious

    I was merely passing comment on Liverpool’s last few seasons, I’m sure things will be better from now on, what with wee Joe Cole arriving an’ all!

  16. dietpillpyramidscheme

    Well played, Walter, well played.

  17. The last one was utterly boring and pointless. I’ve posted about four to Lamebook which are a lot funnier and they never get put up. :(

  18. Lamebook has become the lamest of all….this is a new low, bad jokes about Jesus to get a cheap laugh?! It’s a sad world we live in….

  19. morninghasbroken

    The Jesus one is just sad. They obviously sent it themselves, too. Maybe Lamebook posted it out of pity.

  20. i don’t think the issue here is that the jokes are in bad taste.
    it’s that the jokes are awful.

  21. Wow. That was the first word out of my mouth as well. I think those kind of comments go better in conversation so you can see the other persons expression as well.
    Now I just have to debate on whether to work or sleep now.

  22. I say sleep nuff, work later.

  23. The debate ended in a 15 minute nap, then work, and now go find a comfy spot to sleep again. There’s a reason I don’t work on Saturdays usually… Friday nights just drain you completely. You know what I’m talking about ee.

  24. Joe Cole going to Liverpool is a great thing but Hodgson need Torres to stay!

  25. Dennis has clearly never seen my favorite Christmas porn movie, A Christmas in Carol.

  26. teo, I’m going to have to watch that! I’ll wait till the holidays though, it only seems fitting.

  27. I have to admit every time someone uses the work “wanker” I giggle. Love that word ;)

  28. The only good thing here is comment 25

  29. * WORD! damn it, I need to be moderated!

  30. For Easter, I’ll pull out Holey Thursday and Good Good Friday.

    For Christmas, it’s always Twat the Night before Christmas and Boxing Day.

  31. Holey Thursday and Good Good Friday are excellent – I also enjoy Ass Wednesday when I’m in the mood for something made a little earlier than those two.

  32. “Smug Atheism” pisses me off.

  33. For something after all of those check out And On The Third Day, He Rose Again. It’s quite uplifting.

  34. i actually have to agree with ‘iloveyoink’ (didn’t see that one coming).

    ‘smug atheism’ is the preserve of people of barely more than average intelligence who over-estimate themselves in almost every possible criterion.

    having said that religion is generally the preserve of people with less intelligence still…

    what an irredeemable world we live in.

    i also just spent a good ten minutes trying to think up a porn-pun out of maundy thursday. with little success.

  35. Hmmm alord, I’ve never made a secret of the fact that I’m Catholic, and while I don’t preach anything, or even really go to Church except for maybe Christmas and Easter, I do believe this ain’t all there is – life in this earthly body isn’t going to be my last hurrah.

    If that has shattered any illusions you may have had about me, and/or my IQ has suddenly dropped a few points, then so be it.

  36. word, do you know malaysian people are now not allowed to wear manchester united shirts? not for the obvious reason that it’s hideous to be a glory supporter, but because a muslim cleric has outlawed it, as the badge has a cartoon devil on it. you know, the devil? that guy that all abrahamic religions claim is behind every evil act in the world? you know when your batteries run out – it’s the devil. when it slips out and goes back in the wrong hole – it’s the devil. you must believe that, right? yeah, so wearing a man utd shirt is intrinsically evil and on the devil’s side (you know that guy who lives under the earth’s surface and cackles a lot, and punishes girls who had pre-marital sex for eternity?). and you don’t want to be on his side!
    anyway, the fact that people can make laws that can govern how people live their lives down to the most minute detail, based on the teachings of an omniscient being who may or may not (probably not) exist, completely flies in the face of any kind of applicable logic.

    but humans aren’t logical creatures, are they?

    as long as people don’t preach they can believe in super-space monkeys, lindsay lohan, i don’t care. my brain isn’t evolutionarily developed enough to be able to comprehend super-space monkeys, so any attempt at a definitive statement on whether they exist or not would be folly.

  37. anyway, word, my last post was supposed to be a joke of sorts. (!)

    i need to get off the communion wine and hit the hay. football at ten in the morning!

  38. Wow, well although that was quite entertaining, my dear, you kind of lost me. All I really want to say to you about this is I no more equate atheism with cretinism, any more than I equate faith with superior cognition, or the other way around. It’s ludicrous.

    And yes, I said faith, not religion – the two are different…

    I *religiously* floss everyday, but I have *faith* my football team will win the Premiership either this year or next.

    You shouldn’t drink so much communion wine, that shit’s poison.

  39. Charlie Incognito

    Destiny vs Jesus sums it up.

    Does Destiny call hubris as fb Jesus is using the OG Jesus’ name in vain? Yes she does.

    To a fatalist the name Destiny commits the same heresy.

    People could preach super space monkeys to me anytime, that shit sounds like fun.

  40. I think the bottom line is that whatever your religious beliefs, “Jesus Christ” was not only a giant douche but an unfunny one at that.

    @alordslums Moundy Thursday, Man Deep Thursday, Mount-He Thursday…

  41. At the risk of being judged to be uncool and of limited intellectual capacity: God lives, and He is going to surprise a lot of you.

  42. Wordpervert, who do you support? Liverpool?

    While researching Easter-related porn name puns, I found out that the word Easter comes from the goddess Eostre of Anglo-Saxon mythology. Interesting. And I didn’t come up with any good puns.

  43. First comment ever – after months of reading them.

    Alordslums has great faith. It takes more ‘faith’ to not believe in God. It takes more faith to believe that this world is just what you get, one run at it. That it’s purpose generally revolves around the ‘american dream’. Maybe his purpose is to have the most fun, to be happy. Sounds rather pointless?

    God isn’t a great cosmic kill-joy demanding loyalty and obedience. Anything he commanded to do or not do was out of love, to protect ourselves in the end. And we’re not saints by any means, we mess up. Gods love isn’t conditional, our enterance into heaven isn’t based upon how good we’ve been.

    I know most people say “it’s ok of you believe in God, just don’t preach to me”, but if you’ve found the greatest gift of all, something that could change your life and the one here after, wouldn’t you want to share it?

    So alordslums, I commend you on your faith. Though misplaced, it is great.

  44. Oh and I should add – Christianity is a far stretch from the Mayan paganism.

  45. ”O alordslums, I commend you on your faith. Though misplaced, it is great.”

    ==================================================

    do you know something i don’t know…?

    i’d like to hear your rebuttal of an all-loving, all-seeing, eternally wise super space monkey! you’ll see the light one day. it’s all part of the super space monkey’s plan.

    N.B. if anyone so much as TRIES to draw a super-space monkey, i’ll be on it like a bomb.

    fatwa and out.

  46. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Believe in a god or don’t, either way you still need faith.

  47. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    And where the fuck is Fargis?

  48. Dan, oh Dannieee, Dan where the hell r u?

  49. I kinda like it without our great friend, Dan_Fargis. Makes this whole ‘religious’ debat a lot more friendly.

    I am scared of the space monkey though..Alord.

    I like to think about happy pony’s and rainbows, oh and gummibears..Those are the best.

  50. http://tinyurl.com/32ko67k

  51. Heloooo! Fargis is in the second post!

    Do I have to spell it put for you guys!?

  52. It would be nice to believe you are going to live forever, which to me is those most tempting reason to believe in God. But I can’t lie to myself to make myself feel good. I wish I could.

    I think our old friend Steven- the frogs and sticks and shit philosopher – made a good point about heaven. Wouldn’t the normal versions of heaven be kind of boring? No challenges in heaven? Honestly, I think this life on Earth is heaven. It has been for me ever since I’ve known my Agnes. Yes, heaven happens to be tempory. Eventually the light will be switched off, sure as the sun will eventually engulf the Earth. I just try to be thankful for the time I’ve had, and more importantly, the time I have left.

  53. hahahaha so funny

  54. @alordsums post36, I really enjoyed reading your post. I was a little worried where you were going in your comments earlier but you explained what you meant really well at 36.

    Personally, I don’t support religion generally, mainly because of what they outline as right and wrong ie contraception other than abstaining is a sin, homosexuality being wrong, sex before marriage being punishable etc.

    However I have some really good friends and know people I respect where religion plays a very important role in their lives. I am able to respect them because they have found a way to have their faith and not encroach on others’ rights.

  55. WHERE IS DAN_FARGIS?!?! THIS THREAD NEEDS HIS WISDOM!!!

  56. Does anybody else here kinda figure that religion was introduced to settle people down…like a life-long Santa Claus? You know, to stop people from doing whatever-the-fuck they wanted for their lives? “Wait, wait…someone’s watching you! If you’re not good now, you’ll never get your everlasting presents later!” He-knows-when-you-are-sleeping, he-knows-when you’re-awake…

    Don’t get me wrong, brilliant idea. Don’t think we’d be here if it weren’t for religion. At the same time, I’d feel a lot better about our future if religion weren’t involved.

    Just be good people, damnit! But, judging by most of what I read on lamebook, people are too retarded to just do it on their own.

    To each their own, really. If religion gets people by, I’ve got no problem with it. Not my thing, but it’s fine with me if it’s yours. Anything to get people to not fuck their pets…

  57. @ jjrocko: I find it amusing that you insist other people are retarded, yet you compose the sentence:”I’d feel a lot better about our future if religion weren’t involved”? Seems like the pot calling the kettle black to me…

    On a side note, I think that I will make a FB profile for Allah or Muhammad. If Christianity isn’t off limits, why should the Muslim faith be? Whadda think?

  58. Unfleeced….

    Glad you’re amused. That’s what I’m here for. I was more directly speaking about the people and their status updates on lamebook. Don’t exactly think my sentence, while probably not completely correct, is remotely close to the people that get put on this site. Not the comments, of course…

    BUT, if you insist that my previous sentence qualifies me as retarded, I guess you must have quite the IQ yourself…and should probably be doing better things with your time than wasting it on lamebook.

    To your other question…why would I give a shit? It’s all the same thing. That was the whole point of my post…are are you retarded? :)

  59. Oops…”or” are you retarded…

    Maybe I am! :)

  60. @jjrocko: I am just playing with you, but I appreciate that you can laugh at yourself. That is what makes the difference in the world, so many people are just so uptight.

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