Errr…. yeah you do that and after you’re finished go see a doctor because cutting your own balls off wont make you a whiny little old woman,so stop whining like one and do it already. You don’t deserve balls if you talk about them like that, they have feelings too! Jeez….
I did go see Eat, Pray, Love because of the tiny chance that at the end of the movie, Javier Bardem would go into his character from No Country for Old Men and shoot Julia Roberts in the head with that cattle bolt gun thingy. Sadly, no. I almost cut off my testicles but then realized I’ve been missing them since 1997 when my high school girlfriend dragged me to go see Titanic. Twice.
Good call – instead, just go get a hooker and get her to put on a Catwoman outfit. More expensive, but worth it to avoid watching 2 hours of Julia Roberts eating pasta and then not getting shot in the head with a bolt gun.
I was born with four testicles. After puberty, my voice was so deep it could only be heard by a Richter scale designed by Barry White. The ladies were not impressed by my sexy language of plate tectonics, so I chopped off two of my balls. I tended to leak semen and blood on a regular basis anyway, so the recovery and healing wasn’t much different than what I’d always known.
I just wish alordslums hadn’t stolen my extras. THEY WON’T MAKE YOU A REAL BOY!
The day I found Soup’s discarded balls was one I’ll never forget. It made all the long, hard (pardon the pun) years of stalking him so worth it. They are now hanging on my wall and they pulsate with a faint, green, wondrously otherworldly glow. It’s glorious
Dammit I need to learn to read… You say Alord got your balls? But that means I’ve got fake soup testicles… Well, my life is now ruined. I’m going to go sit in the corner and listen to some Paramore while writing haunting poetry about cutting myself now.
soup, if you’d told me that ten years ago it could’ve spared me years of pain. i used to hate going in the showers after phys. ed. at school. all my classmates used to call me mickey mouse because my voice was so high, and my down-below looked like mickey’s face.
Im pretty sure when girls get upset they dont chop off their boobs, I mean but how would I know. Just because im a girl myself myself doesnt mean anything. Mhmmm, yeah totally, yep totally NO CLUE. That would be just a bit weird…