Tuesday, September 29, 2009

God Bless You Please, Mrs. Robinson

Mrs Robinson

Mrs Robinson

previous post: Correction Fail

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130 Comments

  1. Donald Trump's Comb-Over

    This is fucking epic! I love it.

  2. wtf?

  3. Please tell me this didn’t end there… someone want to invite them to continue their discussion here?

    This could be a Jason’s Monster Fail quality post.

  4. Donald Trump's Comb-Over

    Agreed. Somebody needs to send Kayla, Paula and Carey the link to this entry so they can continue.

  5. UGH! I want more.

  6. Sounds like something you’d see on Springer.

  7. The type of scum you get on Jeremy Kyle

  8. I want to know more!! This is epic jeremy kyle, i can picture them all on stage, with jezza trying to keep thepeace! I want more!!

  9. m
    o
    r
    e

    p
    l
    e
    a
    s
    e

  10. I’m confused. Too many names. Who is Seth?

  11. Seth is Carey’s son. Obviously Kayla’s step or half brother that told her about her step mom and ex boyfriend.

  12. The theme song to the O.C. is playing on a loop in my head as I read this.

  13. I am picturing all very attractive people in this drama… however I doubt that is the case.

  14. I bet they are all cousins

  15. By the fuck!

    When I saw “Read the rest of this entry” I refilled my glass of wine, broke off a big piece of chocolate, and settled down to a nice juicy read – and I was so not disappointed!!!!!

    Scott sussed it out right from the start! Who is Shane? Where is Brad? This soapie cannot end just like that.

    But hey, go Carey go, when you’re in your 40s a nice young bit in his 20s is the best night cap ever!

  16. Awesome! Now this is what social networking sites are *for* – airing your extended (distended?) family’s dirty laundry for all to wonder at!

    The only thing that could make this any more epic would be if God turned up in the conversation and let everyone know *exactly* what his relationship with Carey was all about.

    (It could happen – apparently she’s friends with him)

  17. I need to see moreee.

  18. Juicy and dramatic; I love it.

  19. Kay, I’m confused here…
    Carey = a lying cougar, who dated her step daughter’s ex ?
    But doesn’t the stepmom bit mean that Carey is married to Kayla’s dad? So she’s a lying bitch, cougar & a homwrecker?
    Wow, That’s one classy lady, there isn’t it?
    BTW, she’s can’t spell either for a 40 something.

    @jax, I believe that Shane is Kayla’s current boyfriend.
    This was some juicy, dramatic stuff, for sure.

  20. @aaron

    i love you

  21. This is fucking epic! who needs cable? LOL

  22. Carey is the step-mom, who is apparently no longer together with Kayla’s dad, Brad, who (back in the day) cheated on Kayla’s bio-mom Paula with Carey when they (Brad and Paula) were still married.

    Seth is Carey’s son and either Kayla’s half-brother or step-brother.

    Eric is Kayla’s ex who likes teh cougars.

    Shane is Kayla’s current boyfriend, who is wondering why Kayla’s so upset about what her ex Eric is up to.

    I want more please.

  23. Ladies and gentlemen: The beginning of the script to the next Jerry Springer movie.

  24. MOAR

  25. @ Jasey, ah yes, of course, Shane is the current beau. It’s so easy to get your characters mixed up when you read such juicy bosom-heaving stuff!!

    I love the way we dissect and explain the who’s-who and analyse the characters in these lame entries :lol:

    I predict this entry will have at least 100 comments before we get bored.

  26. lamebook gold.

  27. After all the major fighting, it’s amazing that these people all have each other as friends on Facebook to begin with.

  28. how can carey be dating her step daughters ex.. if she’s her step mother doesn’t that mean she is with her step daughters’ father, and if they split then isn’t she no longer her step mother?

  29. Yo might be a redneck if…

  30. Jax’s use of ‘by the fuck’ actually made this reach whole new heights for me.

  31. so, carey slept with kayla’s dad, then her ex. who’s next, the brother?

  32. This story needs a twin who just returned from having a sex-change in Singapore.

    Oh. And we need to know what kind of car Seth drives. I’m picturing a kick-ass, but somewhat rusty and dinged Camaro.

  33. Hey guys, just spoke to God and he was all “what the fuck”?

    He needs more.

  34. wow.

  35. I think all of this is a plan of Carey’s. The real target of her affection is Kayla, but in Carey’s world, it’s a love that dare not speak its name.

  36. Not in the same league as Jason’s monster fail, but still gold.

    By the fuck, the phrase ‘by the fuck’ can be found in the bible.

  37. ps. eric FTW

  38. Oh man this is even better than when Otacon confessed to banging his step-mom

  39. Bwahahahah

    I really would like Brad and Eric to weigh in…hahaha

    If I befriended my mom and my stepmother, maybe one day I could have this gold in my status….note to self

  40. Why is it that white trash types can’t spell? Or use proper grammar?

  41. Oh man I love this fucking site!!!!

  42. Boy is Seth gonna be mad when he wakes from his tragic coma…

  43. WTF no one can date Kayla’s ex? “It doesn’t matter how long they’ve been apart! Don’t you get it?!” Wowzers, guess once you’ve dated Kayla, you can’t date anyone else, so mebbe you should move to another state or country even.

  44. Seth's Search Party

    I’ll bet $20 that the writers of ABC’s “Cougar Town”, which contrary to what I would like to think, is actually the title of a Network Prime-Time Sitcom…see this and use it as an episode.

  45. You stay classy, ladies. What delightful mothers.

  46. [...] Awkward facebook [...]

  47. @KatieMB You never date someone you supposedly care about’s ex. Unless of course you’ve discussed it with them.

  48. Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!…

  49. Kayla is a stupid cunt. Let the cougar hunt – what is your fucking problem Kayla? Put out the fucking candle and move on -your ex is fair fucking game. Useless, self-righteous, immature bitch. Put that in your fucking God-pipe and smoke it.

  50. Very nice for a Tuesday post :)

  51. This makes me want to read Jason’s Monster Fail again, but I can’t find it. Someone post the link please!

  52. Lolita September 29th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
    Why is it that white trash types can’t spell? Or use proper grammar?
    ———— non white-trash correction ——————–

    Why cannot white trash types spell or use proper grammar?

    ———————————————

    I do not know Lolita; why can’t you?

  53. seth. you’re clearly an idiot. There’s nothing dumber than correcting someone’s perfectly fine grammar with something retarded like: “Why cannot white trash types spell…”

    You’re probably carey.

  54. This would be even better if Kayla is fourteen.

  55. @Jax, definitely true.
    && I agree
    This entry is just too amazingly juicy to not have AT least 100 comments.
    Keep it coming people!
    && this family really does belong on Jerry.
    haha.

  56. @Chachina: Jason’s Monster Fail was removed. I managed so download it from google cache, you could try that? I wish you luck, it was priceless and holds a special place in my heart.

  57. By the fuck…this has “Jason” potential….stop the tease…there HAS to be more to this….cougars rock!!!

  58. Seth: you are wrong. On the Internet.

  59. I agree Seth is Carey… Maybe we will get her going like we got Jason rolling…..one can only hope

  60. I give this the Jeff Foxworthy redneck stamp of approval.

  61. I love Kayla’s mum.

  62. Chunder: “The only thing that could make this any more epic would be if God turned up in the conversation and let everyone know *exactly* what his relationship with Carey was all about.”

    Fucking awesome.

    There’s a commenter on Gawker named God who puts out some hilarious shit. I should get him in on this action as a stand in.

  63. cachina:
    http://thewhatwhatwhat.com/post/167653848

    J’s MF

  64. In my mind’s eye they are all Days of Our Lives types, complete with bouffant hair, lip liner and 80s costumes…
    Reality would probably be a let down.

  65. *lexah likes this

  66. All you people saying lamebook jumped the shark can now fuck off and die.

    Also, what the hell is it with girls – they regard it as some sort of breach if you date one of their exes? Any explanation for that?

  67. It could possibly be wise to sterilise all of them.

  68. those of you who don’t get why this is fucked up must be pretty trashy yourselves…

  69. best thing I’ve ever read on here.

  70. I love all the ‘by the fuck’ references…

  71. Shane’s is some sad addition to the stage.

    More!

  72. @ Boz – Girls are irrational. They can move on and date someone else, but if their ex does, they are very upset. Being a girl myself, I think this is generally an indication that the girl isn’t over the boy, and that their current boyfriend is just a rebound. My personal opinion, anyway.

    But far out, her step mother sounds like a complete slag. I love it how she is also supposedly ‘very religious’ and agree with Kayla’s mum that it is just a cover. People like that are so low!

    These people need to invest in spell check! Or a dictionary at the very least!!

  73. * Get rid of ‘but far out,’ I meant to put ‘by the fuck!’

    Love that saying. Didn’t it originate in Jason’s epic fail?

  74. This is epic stuff right here! I wish we knew what else happened…

    Maybe Brad joined in on this convo too…. Oh Oh, what if Seth chimed in with a thing or two… My mind is rolling with different scenarios!

  75. @gurgle

    Thanks for sharing.

  76. Agree with gurgle. It’s also a proximity thing, on many levels. You could probably make some kind of equation, like:

    length of original relationship in months = (X)
    length of time since breakup = (Y)
    proximity of relationship between old girfriend and new girlfriend =(Z), so that

    X divided by Y times Z = how psychotic the ex-gf is going to go when she finds out.*

    In this case, given that Kayla and the cougar are stepdaughter and stepmother, the proximity factor (e.g. on a scale of 1 to 10, your ex-colleague from 6 years ago is a 1 and your lifelong best friend is a 10), is probably through the roof. Therefore the whole equation came out to 3765888888.9 and Kayla’s head spun round 360 degrees.

    Not saying this is right/logical, just the way it is. Friends of mine kept their relationship under wraps for months because they were worried about upsetting a mutual female friend who had dated the guy for a couple of years in college. Which was ten years ago. And the mutual friend had been happily married herself for years. Go figure.

    (*p.s. Please don’t bother correcting my maths, I’m sure the equation doesn’t really work. I’m crap at maths. But you get my drift. Thank you.)

  77. Good math – except if there is a familial relationship between the Z components, that number must be cubed. E.g.

    X divided by Y times Z to the third power.

  78. Can someone please tell me they saved the jason fail??

    this is the first time i’ve come across this glorious website, and all this talk of a post greater than this has got me excited!!

  79. Seriously, I need to find this link. I’m new as well. I just tried to search for it and I came out with nothing. I really want to read this now.

  80. Hoochie mama alert!
    What a big, fat whore
    I also second all ‘by the fuck’ comments. Premium stuff

  81. Jason’s Monster Fail is back up.

  82. Seth’s a pimp. Work those age ranges. From the immature, young 20 somethings to the desperate, used-up 40 somethings. You got a good thing going buddy.

  83. Dang this sounds like one of AnonIsGay’s stories gone bad.

  84. Jason’s Monster Fail:

    http://www.lamebook.com/jasons-monster-fail

  85. @ Buttons – See @ cellardoor September 29th, 2009 at 10:34 pm. The link is there. It is gold.

  86. Jason is back up and you can provide comments as well….By the fuck!!

    This is gold too…I am sure there is more to the story….hasd to be….

  87. Aw, I want more!

    @ Spoder, that is too funny. Love it!

  88. lmfao, all most at 100, keep it coming people. xD
    I, being nosy and intrigued would really like to know the outcome of this intense fight.

  89. *almost

  90. I wish you would all be quite.

  91. JERRY SPRINGER ANYONE????

  92. Scott comment says it all

  93. I like how she’s claimed she’s only had 3 men in 13 years. She’s in her 40s so exactly how many men did she have during her teens and twenties.

    I bet it was HUNDREDS

  94. And then Carey’s evil twin sister came and seduced Kayla….we need a bit of lesbianism here, for the sake of the soap opera!

  95. If there was guy who had a face that looked like pixels, and he did something really lame on facebook, and he ended up on lamebook, what would admin do?

  96. By the fuck. Jesus went out with her for a while but he got too wrapped up in all his helping everyone and wine making thing so I thought i’d go out with her for a bit. Then i found out she was fucking around with Brad. Clearly God isn’t good enough for her. We aren’t “friends”. Carey is a horrible little bitch.

    Bless you all.

  97. dude, i love the guy who’s name is ‘Donald Trumps Comb-over’ that is EPIC.

  98. god killed it and probably made jesus cry

  99. I reckon Careys gotta be a ‘born again’ christian…..simply because of the point she made about only having 3 men in 13 years.
    Before that she probably got shagged all over the place whilst selling her fanjita for crack. Then one day, realising the dispicable mess her life had become she turned to god. However, she still cant control her filthy, guilt laden, primordial urges and thus ends up sleeping with her step daughters ex, which in her world of christian moral psuedo-purity must be hard move to make….Testemant only to how much of a horny slut she must be at heart.
    The only thing that mitigates her guilt now is the delusional comfort that god will forgive her…Born again christians are the worst kind of christians.

  100. Yay, 100 posts – will someone let Kayla and Carey know we’re here?

  101. And this, people, is why rednecks should not be allowed to reproduce without a licence.

  102. pure drama and i thought my life was fucked up!!!!!!!!!!!! thank goodness there worse people out there..

  103. amen to that rodney….mine seems normal compared to this…

  104. I fucking love soap operas.

  105. Jason Monster Fail

    The lamebook entry was taken down, but the whole discussion has been saved and posted on a facebook page –
    http://www.facebook.com/jdooshbag

  106. Girls are irrational.
    -
    Yeah, I’m sooo irrational when I don’t want my 40 year old step mom to date my ex-boyfriend.

  107. AA Chapter and verse, please.

  108. i would like the location of this trailer park so i can physically spectate this….

  109. What a fcuked up Cougar

  110. Wooo this is a classic

  111. Love it! By the way, it is not cool that the step mom dated him no matter what or how long Kayla and him had split… she has no class and its kinda weird!

  112. ooh the suspense, surely there’s a round 2!

    (sick as the stepmother is, but that we all want to know more, does that make us slightly sick too?)

  113. Scott that’s fucked up comment is ftw.

  114. OMG, Cry me a river!! Get over it!!

  115. Oh the entertainment in other people’s twisted lives.
    By far better than any soap opera I have seen!
    Agree with #21.

  116. [...] Here’s my favorite: Lamebook » God Bless You Please, Mrs. Robinson. [...]

  117. How dare you all laugh at this you dooshbags.

  118. Bree-how are they all “dOOshbags”?

  119. Well, to give the cougar credit, if a 22 y/o stud wants to mount that mare, then she must be hot!

  120. Lolita September 29th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
    Why is it that white trash types can’t spell? Or use proper grammar?
    ———— non white-trash correction ——————–

    Why cannot white trash types spell or use proper grammar?

    ———————————————

    I do not know Lolita; why can’t you?
    _________________

    Well lets see your correction isnt perfect either… As an english major I will say with plenty of confidence that grammar only applies to the rules of how one writes. That being said, the clearest way of saying this would be:
    “Why can White Trash Types not spell or use proper grammar?” but proper grammar doesnt exist so just stfu…

  121. Wow that cougar is CLUELESS!!! She was obviously hurting her daughter by not telling her, AND hiding behind God (which she clearly did….

    I am sad that the saga is over cuz there is no way it got any less lame after that!!!

  122. OMG this iS fucking GREAT!!!!!!!!! I want MORE

  123. @Tristan: I agree.

    Btw, is it still so shady and wrong, if the cougar and the stud are actually in love? It sounds like they’ve been going out (or at least at it) for months. It’s not just something that happened one night, as far as I can tell.

    Yeah, this really needs an update. Best lamebook story ever!

  124. Jerry Jerry Jerry!!

  125. OK, I have to say it… this is clearly the single most entertaining episode of the Jerry Springer show that was never filmed!

    That being said, I truly wish that there was a very special place in hell for people that leave that incredibly epic of a conversation to die on facebook like that without so much as telling all of their loyal viewers that they were going off the air on short notice!

    If they had just told us, we would’ve went to get nacho’s and beer and come back for act two… but nooooo! No consideration for the little viewers, no sir-ree bob!

  126. I judge ‘em all. Fecking sluts. Seth puts out too. LOL!

  127. Best thing ever.

  128. Jax, I also got my glass of wine, and settled comfortably in front of my computer. such entertainment!

  129. hehe i always thought this stuff only happens in soap operas XD

  130. Damn it. Thanks to Lamebook I have an irrepressible urge to listen to Simon and Garfunkel… although, I guess that’s not a bad thing.

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