Monday, September 27, 2010

Getting to Know James

previous post: Airing It Out

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40 Comments

  1. Sounds like we have a winner!

  2. holy lord…

  3. How long before Allison’s body is found hacked to pieces and stuffed in the crawl space of their new home?

  4. I think we have a new definition for “a drifter”.

    I reckon Alison is his imaginary friend / imaginary to-be-wife.
    Anyone else thinks it’s ironic that he lives in virginia?

  5. mytwocentsorwhatever

    Well least he admits he’s a stalker.

  6. Perhaps the “i just want to pass my love on to anyone i can” explains why he’s engaged, yet looking for dating and a relationship.

  7. someone walking looking upset as if just married? huh?

  8. People look upset when they’re just married? But he’s engaged…
    Maybe I should think twice about my fiance ;-)

  9. James, tell us how you really feel..

  10. “Some people may call me a [s]talker” – the [s] is a fucking typo; read the rest of his hearfelt and blah-lovely juvenilia splurge where he repeats it.

    Hey Lamebook, much as I appreciate your loupe on the lameness of Facebook’s lowlives, I do wish you’d check your own submissions. Leave the boy alone to grow up, and do yourselves some good before you ourobouros yourselves into autoFail behavio[u]r patterns.

  11. Actual[lar]ly he can apostrophise, and did admit himself as a stalker. I take it back Lamebook. But leave him alone, with his “bad joints… at only 21″ he’ll surely roll into an embettered existence at some point.

    Carry on.

  12. Wow. Just simply wow.

    @riverside: it’s not ironic (it’s actually the complete opposite of irony), but I get your drift, nice point.

  13. Well, enough about me. What do you think of my thoughts about me?

  14. I honestly don’t really see much lameness in this. So there’s a person in the world who likes life and finds things beautiful and isn’t cynical. So what? I mean his spelling and punctuation obviously needs a lot of work, but that’s beside the point.

    @Miss Shegas, it’s the bio section. It’s supposed to be about yourself.

  15. glueyourfingers, You’re too kind and accepting of your fellow human! Maybe lamebook is not for you?

  16. I agree glueyourfingers, our little James is just a passionate man writing his bio in the space designated for a bio. Didn’t Shakespeare and company talk like it’s their last day on earth too? I’m sure people would think Shakespeare a freak if he lived in this day and age.

  17. all i’m readin is blah blah blah……..

  18. god, get over yourself. :/

  19. i think he was baked when he wrote his bio

  20. I agree with glueyourfingers, its refreshing 2 see someone who appreciates life instead of complaining about everything. Lamebook u fail,& so does everyone hating on the guy for enjoying life….open ur cynical eyes

  21. I forgot to Ben :P
    PS what’s with all the ‘nice’ comments? It’s lamebook uh, yep… still is. Sounds like a support group all of a sudden.

  22. Lol @ 13

    personally, I think you need to move onto some more hardcore drugs and dig into the deepest recesses of your mind so you are able to explain your most intimate desires in life more thoroughly.

  23. @21, I’m a regular visitor of Lamebook and I enjoy my Schaudenfreude as much as the next person. I just don’t find much particularly entertaining about a person *gasp* enjoying life.

  24. The age of 21 was a big year for me. I finally got rid of the diapers, stopped breastfeeding, and learned how to convey a coherent message.

    A wondrous outlook on life does not excuse retardation. Unless you’re retarded.

  25. That is a grammar Nazi’s wet dream right there.

    I’m with nellie050, most probably baked, step away from the bong mister.

  26. I had a friend like this once (emphasis on the word HAD).

    Too many Magic mushrooms on toast for breakfast makes people go a little loco.

  27. I don’t see too many wrong things with his message (besides grammar and those forever-lasting-sentences). He seems to be suffering from some joint disease, yet he has a super positive attitude and seems to be a caring and loving person. Some people may consider him to be very weird, a stalker, whatever, but he has my respect for having such a positive action.

    Not like 85% of you.

  28. *Attitude.

  29. Much like James I just want to spread my love around…

    He likes to do it through the medium of stalking, i prefer to do it through the medium of collecting my LOVE in small plastic cups and throwing the contents at women passer-bys’ on the street.

  30. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    @ glueyourfingers, saffer and iced coffee – there’s nothing wrong with being positive about life – you don’t have to be a pretentious, stalker-lite dick. I’m a happy, positive person but I don’t go on about ‘winter wonderlands’ and ‘thriving forests’ and I don’t even know what a ‘pluming field’ is.

    ‘I have seen and felt the love of woman’?! Oh, bog off! Even most hippy-dippy optimists like me would rather vomit in our handbags than say ‘I have seen and felt the love of a man’.

  31. The poor fellow obviously failed all his English classes however, he so badly wanted to be a creative writer that the fulfillment of his shattered dreams has been limited to a FaceBook Bio. Poor sod. At least the pictures he paints are… colourful. So colourful that it leads most readers to believe that he is either very high or very gay.

    Personally, I think Allison’s little finace is both. I have never heard/read a straight man’s ponderings and found it quite so… colourful.

    Regardless of his sexual orientation or possible recreational drug use, I do think Allison needs to rethink the whole engagement thing, due to her man’s fondness for seeking alternative company.

    That is unless they have an “open engagement” – there is no official description like that yet, which could be why it was not listed.

    That is all (Thanks be to Ye Gods)

  32. *finace = fiance. Oops!

  33. Oh, and that is one EFF OFF HUGE nutshell!

  34. I think the real issue here (other than the whole ‘Well a lot of people say I’m a stalker…’ bit) is the narcissism factor in the last four lines. God made all the plants and animals for this guy? And if you disagree he’d love to have a conversation with you about himself? This is a classic case of narcissism.

  35. what’s lazzy?

  36. I love trees and birdies and feelings, however I hate spelling and grammar and monogomous relationships…Wait I’m just a fuck- tard.

  37. This guy is just bumbling along through life looking at the sky and crap. Suddenly I am a little envious (Isn’t it the stupid people who are always real happy?)

  38. mymomruinedfacebook

    This guy has not only seen 1 but several earthquakes, hurricanes and volcanoes. Wow. All in 21 years and a debilitating leg joint problem that prevents him from frollicking with bunnies in the plumbing fields. Maybe one day he will know see and feel the love of a man, or a goat. He should experience that before he walks around looking upset, as if he just got married.

  39. @ glueyourfingers – What makes it funny is that James is clearly crazy people! He’s a stalker who stalks people because he wants to know his own emotions? James is obviously a murder suicide waiting to happen. And it’s also really funny that he ends it with “If you disagree I would love to discuss with you what you think I’m like.” Glad to see that at least his ego is in check! Wait…He is nuts! And the people defending him keep saying, “Oh, cut him some slack! He’s young and idealistic!” No! This wasn’t written by an eight year old with ideas bigger than his vocabulary; this was written by a twenty-one year old! A totally unhinged twenty-one year old.

  40. either 1- he has a mental disability
    2- he really is psycho
    3- he is on some crrrazy drugs
    4- he is trying to be all poetic for a girl (if it’s this one he failed miserably)

    feel bad if it’s #1 if it’s not then this is really freaking funny.

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