Monday, December 21, 2009

Gettin’ Crunk in the Crib


previous post: Too Weak



  1. That baby has 6 fingers. You can see the sixth just about past the guys thumb.

  2. Wtf you on about…


  4. HansKalos, you have lost the plot. There’s 5 fingers there. No more drinking for you!

  5. Hans You Are A CtotheOtotheCtotheK

  6. There are 5 fingers and this is not lame…

  7. You are all living in denial! LOOK!

  8. There’s five fingers. The reason this is on there is because the baby has it’s middle finger up. How in any way did you people see a sixth finger?

  9. Really Olivia, really? Thats why it’s on here?
    It’s not lame.

  10. I don’t see a middle finger. Where?

  11. oliviahere is smarrtttttt

  12. Where would the sixth finger be?

  13. In its diaper.

  14. Liz (the babies mother I presume) should have her womb removed, the type of person who allows her child who is only days old to be forced into flipping the bird should not be allowed to pro-create.

    And why has the baby been pixilated? All babies look like Winston Churchill anyways.

  15. This is still allowed to be on here even if it isnt “lame”. This site is described as “Lamebook – Facebook Fails, Wins, LOLs and more”….. This clearly comes under “Wins, LOLs and more”.

  16. If i’m being moderated does it mean i’m a bad person?!

    Will I ever be able to redeem myself, or is it straight of to hell with me?

  17. This is clearly lame.

    The people who think this is funny are the same people who think drawing penises everywhere is funny. Or who in fifth grade would say “fuck” all the time (and probably still do) to feel cool. God, unintelligent people piss me off. Ha ha ha, it’s sooo hilarious when we take small taboo actions in order to feel cool. This would’ve been funny if it happened by accident – the same way it’s funny when a kid learning to crawl manages to look like he’s humping the floor. But an adult forcing a baby’s middle finger up? LAME.

  18. Disregard that, this baby’s mother sucks cocks

  19. I don’t understand why the “sucks cocks” thing is used as an insult. Doesn’t every guy want girls to do that? Besides, she obviously does more than that as she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant. You need an anatomy class.

  20. @Imamofo
    If you are being moderated you probably used ‘n**gar’ or something like it. Cuz “cunt fucker” doesn’t get moderated. So why are you so full of hate?

  21. @stanselmdoc-well put.

  22. @stanselmdoc-not well put.

  23. @Seabea: Nope, not full of hate, I think it was a womb removal comment that got moderated, but hey ho!

    Although on reflection I do fucking hate traffic wardens, old people, young people, people who don’t fucking hate anything and my parents…and your parents.

  24. @stanselmdoc: Agree with you totally, apart from one thing. Drawing nobs is funny.

    When no one was looking I drew a huge nob on the 3rd page of a flip chart in the office (complete with jizm and pubes) and in a subsequent meeting when the second flip chart page was turned over to reveal my pathetic artwork, all 18 people laughed and it brought a temporary lift to an otherwise dull meeting (I stayed anonymous or I would have been fired – shame I could not claim the kudos for the laughter). Never underestimate the power of nob doodles my friend.

    8====D – .

  25. @Imamofo
    That’s funny cuz I hate my parents too.

  26. @Mercure
    Cuz you’re an adult and you can do that…and if you can’t act like a 12 year old what the hell is the point?
    Loves his inner child.

  27. I put weird hats on my kids when they were babies. Why? Cause it was funny. The Carmen Miranda fruit hat was a particular favourite. Or when the oldest was born with a big ole head of hair and we would spike it or make him look like Ed Grimley. Babies are little lumps that shit and puke and cry. Its not harmful so why not have some fun with them? My son loves the pictures of us being goofy with him. Also if putting a funny hat or making a rude gesture helps someone bond with their kid then power to them.

  28. Imagine you’re a 15 year old boy and your mother is embarrassing you by showing your baby pictures to your friends. Then, she flips to this one. You instantly become the coolest kid on your block, and everyone forgets about those unfortunate bathtub shots they were pissing themselves laughing about just a few seconds before.

    If I had a picture of myself as a baby flipping the bird, I would have it framed and hang it in the most visible part of my house. This mother has done her child a favor that will pay dividends for years.

  29. big deal

  30. This is not cool
    I hate parents who do stuff like this

  31. This is shit.

  32. And of course she’s a formula feeder

  33. Yes, because all formula feeders are horrible parents.

    Please. Get over it. Some women can’t breastfeed.

    Freakin’ boob nazis.

  34. i posted this :D

  35. Hey cherrykitten? People like you are the worst kind of person. This shit really chafes my ass. Not all women want to/can breastfeed. In fact its a choice. Not a necessity. So why dont you go feed your cat and stop hating on the people that managed to have a real baby.

  36. @Me:
    Mwahahaha! That was gold.

  37. While this post may be lame, I agree with sensible madness! This is cool, but it doesn’t deserve a spot on lamebook.

  38. I think cherrykitten was just making a joke.

  39. It really rankles me when people make comments like that. Boob nazis make my blood boil. Not all women can breast feed. I felt like a failure when I couldnt. And you know I dont feel any woman should be shamed on her choices. Joke or not.

  40. It is terrible for a mother to not be able to breastfeed when she dearly wants to and I feel for those women.

    BUT this looks like a newborn – so she never even tried.
    @cherrykitten’s comment stands.

  41. @Me…. apparently you are a failure as a parent if you describe your baby as a “little lump that shits and pukes and cries”. I mean, I’ll agree with that in any situation other than you trying to present yourself as a model mother….

    Well it seems that the population of teenaged mothers is sky high!

  42. Man, the self-righteousness is thick in here.

    Anyone who’s had more than one kid, or even has had a kid for longer than 7 or 8 years, should recognize @Me’s sense of humor here. Calling her a failure as a parent because she can see the humor in the many truly ludicrous things involved in parenthood is way out of line.

  43. Yeah! Who in gods name gives new born babies bottles without trying to breast feed! I think the more obvious question to ask is “why is it any of your fucking business?”. Some may have health problems, some may have psychological problems. In the end so ling as the baby gets the nutrients it need then who cares!?

  44. @KMB A teenager mother? Did you call me a teen mother? BWAH HAHA HA HA. Holy shit that made my day. Im 33 babe. My teen days are far far behind me. Well at least physically. Mentally? Meh you may have got me there. I had my first at 26. And my second 9 months ago. Anyhow. I was as Sensible Madness (who I adore)pointed out so eloquently making a silly joke. My point was why not have fun with your kids? Its not like you can play peek-a-boo or catch at that age, why not have fun anyway you can. I guess I was being too much of a failure as a parent to notice that children should be wrapped in cotton and left alone except to BREAST feed, change into all natural organic cloth diapers anjust sit in awe of. And Im no model mother. I formula fed my kids which I hear is horrible. Ive accidentally smacked both kids heads with the car seat handle when I wasnt watching what I was doing putting them in there. I fed them both baby food out of the jar, instead of making my own. Ive stuck their ass under the faucet bc I ran out of diaper wipes. I make do. Ive never ever claimed to be perfect. But so far Ive managed to keep the oldest around 7 years and I havent broke the baby. (yet)

  45. @ AlyKat: Ever try to breastfeed a baby? They dont come out and latch themselves perfectly while a angelic choir sings and mother and child are bathed in a golden light. They fight and thrash, scream and cry at your boob, wondering why in the hell is this thing shoved in my face. My son was a hungry baby. I tried several times and was faced with the option, to let him go hungry and keep trying or give up and let him eat and be happy. To keep forcing something that aint going to happen would have been selfish. I managed to breastfeed my daughter for 2 days. And when her weight dropped I switched her to a bottle and shes and I never looked back. So yes while it lovely to be able to breastfeed having a screaming starving baby is very much the definition of unlovely.

  46. @Me: In 18 years you’ll have a kid like me- Dean’s list, honor student, student editor of the paper, all after falling off of a car and being bottle fed with… gasp! Soy formula. Keep at it. :)

  47. @ Flagtastic: LOL! I hope so. And Ive seen breastfed babies and they aint not smarter then my childrens.

  48. “And Ive seen breastfed babies and they aint not smarter then my childrens.”

    Hahahaha FAIL

  49. @ daisyisarobot: Since its christmas time I’ll be charitable and not make fun of you. I’ll let someone else (hopefully) do it for me. Smoootchies.

  50. @daisyisarobot: Um yeah, we know. That was kinda the point.

    Me and Flagtastic you guys rock! Babies ARE fun, they’re NOT made of porcelain, and formula does NOT kill them! I’m guessing the people who made those idiotic comments don’t have kids, and I’m sure 90% of formula-bashers out there don’t have kids and therefore have no clue how difficult breast feeding is (was for me too). If you don’t have kids you just don’t understand – I know it’s cliche but it’s true!

  51. A lot of women can’t breastfeed for whatever reason. If I have children I won’t be able to because of the medication I take. So, yeah, it’s not cool to stand in judgement.

  52. @ chromeroze: Exactly. It wasn’t my best work but at least someone got me. And I agree I got into a argument about circumcision and half of them probably dont have kids. Its nice to have plans and ideals but it all goes out the window when the little one shows up. Sure we want to do all the best possible thing for our kids but time, patience and circumstances change things. As long as the baby has a full belly, a clean bum (etc) you’ve done right by them.

    And Stinkerbell75: I tried my hand at breastfeeding and I didnt bond with my daughter anymore then my son over it. Its all the same in the end. Boob or bottle.

  53. @Me No, it isn’t the same. Breastmilk cannot me synthesized and no formula, no matter how expensive or well-made can substitute for the compounds found in a healthy woman’s own milk. Especially for a child as young as the one in the photo in the OP, which will not be getting the amazing colostrum that it needs to compensate for the fact it has next to no immune system of its own at this point.

    Yeah, breastfeeding isn’t a magical, beautiful, wonderful experience most of the time; parenting in general isn’t. But before the advent of formula there was no alternative, so simply saying, “IT WASN’T WORKING FOR TWO DAYS” isn’t a valid excuse for anything but being a lazy git who wanted an easy way out.

    Also, for what it’s worth, two days attempt at breastfeeding isn’t really long enough to gauge how well it helped you bond with your ill-begotten spawn. You can talk when you tried it for a month or more, honey.

  54. be*

  55. Hey Rooster sauce let me start by saying go fuck yourself. Now that Ive got that out my system: My daughter was a healthy 9 pounds 10 oz at birth. After 2 days of breastfeeding her weight dropped severly. And we were getting on perfectly. When her weight dropped I had to supplement. The nurses had me feed her every two hours. She resisted the breast after taking the bottle. So I could continue to starve her to force breastfeeding or move on. And no it didnt help me bond more then my son. I loved her as soon as I saw her. I didnt feel the need to bond more. It was already done.

    You can talk shit about me thats fine but to call my children ill-begotten? Thats low. You are the worst kind of parent out there. The judgemental type that looks down the end of her nose at other parents bc they didnt do exactly as she did. You know what I didnt even want to breastfeed at all. I tried it only bc my daugher latched the first time we tried at all. And you know 9 months later and 7 years later you couldnt ask
    for healthier more clever children. And yes the baby is clever. Much more so then your judgemental ass. And I get that years ago I would have had no other option but also I might have died in child birth too. Oh noes! The baby would just starve then eh? Might as well toss it in the coffin with the mother. And yes breastfeeding is a choice. Same as formula feeding. I dont disagree that one is better then the other. I just dont care as long as the wee ones tummy is filled.

  56. Newborns are blobs. Cute and adorable, yes, but blobs nonetheless. Why do people have to be so judgmental without all the information? I had to stop breastfeeding my daughter when she was 6 days old and went to the ICU with an enlarged heart due to a rare heart condition. She had so many tubes and wires connected to her I couldn’t even pick her up. And whenever that middle finger of hers popped up I laughed my ass off. We were in agreement thinking “fuck everything”. Maybe something similar happened with this baby. Maybe not. Who the fuck knows and who the fuck has the right to say anything anyway? She’s feeding her baby and not leaving it in a ditch somewhere. That’s a good mom, taking care of her baby blob.

  57. Right on raen!

  58. Rooster Sauce: You are a moron! Some people cannot breastfeed due to health conditions, so that leaves feeding them with formula milk, which has alot of additional nutrients to assist in growth and development. Getting food in the baby’s tummy is just as (if not more) important as getting food into your stomach. “If you don’t eat, you don’t shit. If you don’t shit you die.”

    “You can talk when you tried it for a month or more, honey.”. Really a month or more? Something is far from right with you. Your fail has me lost for words.

    @Me and raen: LOL, keep up the good work.

  59. Thanks Insane.

  60. Jesus. How does all this self righteous bullshit have anything to do with a picture of a baby holding up a middle finger?

  61. I made an account just to say; Me, raen, Insane and you others who are on this side, you guys rock.. especially you Me, you are the coolest parent ever!

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