Thursday, March 11, 2010

Gender Benders

previous post: FTWinsday! (part 2)

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84 Comments

  1. lostintranslation

    I approve of Patrick’s comment, and the second one was pretty funny, but the last two… this whole woman = man’s slave in the kitchen thing is so very tired. *yawn*

  2. lostintranslation

    I approve of Patrick’s comment, and the second one was pretty funny, but the last two… this whole woman = man’s slave in the kitchen thing is so very tired

  3. I disagree, they’re still hilarious.

  4. It will remain hilarious as long as it keeps bothering some particular women as much as it does.

  5. @XS YES!

  6. Like the angry lady is the first one for example.

  7. *in

  8. I’m female-the first one is hysterical.The others aren’t bad either.

  9. the funniest (in nothing but an ironical sense) thing about women posting colours for support for breast cancer awareness is that there is some new evidence that wearing bra’s for long periods of time could dramatically increases the risk breast cancer….Could this be the first case of Copy Pasta that is bad for your health???

  10. @AlanLaing – pasta is bad for your health?

    What’s this about posting colours? I thought slavery ended years ago. Except for women, obviously.

  11. Except for the breastpump one I also found them hilarious :) Chicks like Emma’s gotta learn that with a status like that you’re just setting yourself up for comments like Matthew’s – unless she blocks all her male friends.

  12. @XS Yeah they need to just chill out, right? Same thing for when I call ethnic people various racial slurs all the time; they get so mad! What the hell?

  13. I will agree, though, that Emma was asking for it. Reverse sexism is…still sexism. Surprise!

  14. lostintranslation , i agree with you

    Women are mens slaves on a whole lot of other places too, restricting it to the kitchen is just a neanderthalic view.

  15. Anyone who says that women are slaves to men have never lived with a woman in a relationship…..

  16. Or are just joking …

  17. I thought these were great. @Alanlaing, my husband agrees with you. Me, not so much. I’m a great wife, and an absolute pleasure to be married to. Now he’s shaking his head laughing….

  18. LoL. Parked your car in a kitchen… Women in the kitchen jokes just never get old

  19. On the serious side ,

    A lot of women make it seem as if men are the only ones joking about the opposite sex. Well i come from a family with a lot of women and they joked about men all the time

    We took it with a smile and retaliated , thats the way it works. A bit of banter can do no harm. Stereotypes are just that , they offer occasions to make wiseass remarks and cheapshots.

    But in my experience in real life (not on this site because the women here are pretty funny in general) women tend to make more of it then men do if they are the victim of a gender stereotype pun.

  20. I wish I wasn’t so Aryan so people could make racist jokes at me and I’d have a sense of humour about it. The worst I get is blonde jokes, and who tells those anymore?

  21. Yes, and black people tend to make way more of it when they are the victims of a racist joke than white people. Mostly they just don’t have a good sense of humour though, I mean some blacks do, ok, but generally not. They are just that bit more touchy and sensitive – nothing wrong with it. I’m just saying.

  22. lostintranslation

    I’m not saying that sexist jokes aren’t funny. As a woman, I can admit that I definitely laughed the first time I heard a variant of the women-must-stay-in-the-kitchen bit. But that was probably 10 years ago; all I’m saying is that I think some new material is needed!

  23. Haha leequette, i am guessing you are using irony as a defense … touchy subject?

    Or are you serious ? I am a bit thick sometimes.

    Aryan jokes , have lots of blond friends and we make german jokes about them …

  24. Well I’m not German, but I’m Irish and I hear quite a few of those jokes. I just think it’s a bit of a double standard that racist jokes about white races are ok but not about other racial groups. Either some of it is ok or none of it is ok, and personally I prefer all of it being ok because like is much funnier that way.

  25. life*

  26. They didn’t bother me. But they are so old and tired, and yeah, I’d say annoying now. However, I’m aware that my being female renders my opinion automatically “oversensetive”. *Shrug* There really is no winning here.

    FWIW I do joke about men occasionally with my spouse. (Not often, because he actually is absurdly anti-gender stereotyping.) However, if I used the same joke every day I’m pretty sure it would get a little old.

  27. And tbh , there is nothing funnier as making a ‘are you having your period’ joke only to get the following reply …

    Euh no , that has nothing to do with it. Like hell it doesnt :-)

    And feel free to shoot some men are useless jokes , i tend to find them very funny and often painfully true.

  28. Amazing, do real boys in actual life literally say out loud “are you having your period”? I thought that was a myth, like a cute dog making off with a string of sausages from the butchers!

    Well well, every day’s a schoolday.

  29. *gets period*

  30. DragonflyOfDoom

    Yes, ‘woman is a slave!’ and ‘are u having ur period?’ jokes were once funny. When you hear them everytime you disagree with a man (on the internet or IRL), it’s the man who makes himself look like an idiot. Because everyone knows those jokes are old as hell. It’s the fact that someone still uses old ones that makes me irritated, not the joke itself.

    And yes, I’m a woman in the kitchen, I clean up and pleasure my man – since it is the mans job to bring us ( = me) money. I like my life :)

    (oh yeah, jokes about men dont usually work, because most of the men would just laugh)

  31. After living in a house with only women you tend to be apprehentive fur certain things …

    And it is pretty funny if you get it right , very male chauvinist but funny nonetheless.

  32. blah blah blah tampon blah blah blah kitchen. come on dudes, i think we can be a little more original.

  33. But i also agree on the need for new and more inventive variations on the old women in the kitchen theme …

  34. You’ve got to realize that half the time it’s not the joke that’s funny, it’s the reaction. Of course we’ve all head every chauvenistic period joke that can possibly be made, but what gets funnier every time is the women that can’t develop a sense of humour about such things.

  35. Women in the hall perhaps (on their way through to the kitchen after going shopping obviously)

  36. *heard
    Geez, I ought to start editing my lamebook posts.

  37. Exactly! Just like the n-word – you should see their faces. BAM! EVERY time! And I mean it’s just a word. Fucking hell. Never fails though.

    And I wonder why I don’t have more black friends :)

  38. @leequette – I’ve certainly been asked that before now on many occasions. To be fair, most of the time it’s because I’m being stroppy and most of the time that’s because it’s the time of the month…

  39. Oh, come on! MORE ‘women in the kitchen’ jokes? For fuck’s sake, you could tell that joke to a caveman and he’d tell you not to be so fucking unoriginal.

  40. Though, I do still find the whole bra colour Facebook status thing hilarious in that the point was meant to be that no girl should tell any guy what the colours meant, except some people clearly weren’t even able to manage that.

    And then the guys started coming up with even shitter revenge groups, and made me even more ashamed than I already am to be a guy :(

  41. hehe , are you sure you are not a men in online disguise ?

    You are actually pretty funny.

    ps even if the analogy does not add up :-)

  42. @leequette – Most of my black friends find it hilarious when I use the N-word. Apparently lamebook does not share their sense of humour though, since one of my previous posts is awaiting moderation because I used said N-word in full. I’m sure they’ll delete it, but I can assure you the post was humourous and ensightful beyound your wildest dreams.

  43. British

    As a matter of fact , the cavemen would not get the joke as their women were cooking and sewing their hides when they were out hunting.

  44. krasivaya_devushka

    Women rule! :)

  45. I’m yet to find a sexist joke about men funny.
    I wear my “I should be in the kitchen” t shirt with pride.

  46. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Yea yeah, all these jokes need to be carbon dated, I got the intense feeling of a vacuum of humour especially in regards to Jason and his comedy team. If anyone can make me laugh with material provided here I’ll consider you for the MacGuyver of lamebook award.

    Ladies, smart fish don’t bite, so next time some chumP comes at you with any of these “gems” do your best to never ever mate with them, and spread the embargo to everyone you know, that way if everyone chimes in we can breed out this unfunny genetic defect within a generation.

    Like I say, I’m a dreamer…

  47. i wish i found these funny but i do not.

  48. Haha. I’ve already done my breeding. I think it went pretty well. :-P

  49. Who cares? Can’t say I’m particularly bothered by these jokes. I actually found the first one really funny, first time I’ve heard that one.

  50. I miss the days when the internet was filled with proper nerds like me, who knew they were pathetic and wasting their lives. Nowadays it’s all about the faux-sexism, and pretending to be some kind of macho guy.

    Oh, for the days when these people didn’t even know what an internet was…

  51. @DivineMonkeyTrigger
    Great in theory, but I know far too many women who have mated with said chumps. I’m afraid, it may be too late :(

  52. Thumby loves women.

  53. I wouldn’t have thought to ask either because I just went ahead and assumed “downstairs” right away…

  54. Unless his penis has the girth of a typical breast, I would imagine it would be difficult to get any kind of suction going. I’d make my husband get his own breastpump, either way.

  55. @ el_monty…So did I!

    Although thinking about it, a woman’s boob has more girth than a man’s willy so I’m not sure the apparatus would fit properly and have the desired effect.

  56. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    …but while we are having a crack at trying to ridicule women boys, how ’bout Kristin?

    If her husband was to borrow her breast pump, she assumes there’s an equipotent chance of him using it on his tit OR perhaps dong, but she has no idea which one might potentially feel better for a guy. Yea guys are pretty weird, you’re totally right, one minute we are thinkin’ with our dicks, the next we are performing all the computational activity in the areola area. Crazy men.

  57. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    oh, el_monty beat me to the 1/2 arsed punchline…

  58. I tried to play with my husband’s nipples once. He said….’don’t it’s dangerous’

  59. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    I assumed that’s why there are products called breast pumps, and products called penis pumps, so to abolish all the confusion from the get go, but you gotta give it a try I guess.

  60. I milk my penis all the time, but the wife sure does get mad when I store my “milk” in the refrigerator. The baby doesn’t seem to mind, though.

  61. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Okidoke, now I’m starting to see the relevance of the moniker, “Soup”.
    Thus far you get the nomination for the MacGuyver award.
    “Milking”, yeah, you keep telling yourself that that’s what it is…

  62. Thanks for my morning chuckle Soup!

  63. as a woman with a pretty non-pc sense of humor, the kitchen jokes are getting really old. it’s really unoriginal, predictable, and yeah while the reactions can be funny, it doesn’t even get a reaction out of me anymore. i’m not offended, i just feel bad at the guy cracking the joke for just not being funny and amusing only people with the same boring, cooking cutter, “LOL VAGINAS BLEED THATS GROSS” sense of humor. think outside the box (no pun intended).

    and women, stop doing the “why r men sew stupid…” jokes copy and pasted from a chain letter your idiot girlfriends probably forwarded. they are no more clever/funny than the dated cathy comics taped to your refrigerator door. yeah, women have come a long way, but being a dick and acting like we’re smarter or better than men is not cute; it’s asinine and untrue that one gender is ultimately better than the other. if you want to try to insult the male gender by being a sexist tool, you’d better be ready to get something sexist and (if the guy is original) probably hilarious back.

  64. The fact is if you leave any kind of receptacle like a breast pump or an apple pie for that matter laying around the house, the guys will put it in there.
    That’s the reality girls, so keep them stashed if you want to keep them semen free.

  65. I don’t see why people think these people continue to think that these sexist “jokes” are funny. Just like “your mum” jokes, these lost their humour. I don’t understand why lamebook proceeds to post the same jokes in different context. It’s shameful on lamebook’s behalf.

  66. Because sexist jokes ARE funny, and they always will be. Yes, “your momma” jokes went out of style years ago, but they are not on the same level as sexist jokes.

  67. lol

  68. DragonflyOfDoom

    Dear eric_benjamin, sexist jokes are funny, I admit that, but like every joke in this planet, they get old. I would, however, be glad to hear you tell some new sexist jokes. Maybe something that doesn’t have the words ‘woman’ and ‘kitchen’ in the same sentence.

  69. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    The are funny, the kitchen jokes will never die. The first one was the best. And yes we need new material just so we have more stuff to laugh at.

    @Girlpants I’m sure I would marry any hot girl I see wearing an “I should be in the kitchen” T-shirt

    lol @Malteaser keeps typing just lol

  70. yeah as long as kitchen jokes get a rise out of people they will be funny and they will never die. i personally find them hilarious.

    i’m a fan of helen keller jokes as well. they’re great cause she’s handicapped and a woman. it’s like hitting 2 sensitive flocks of birds with one stone, and that my friends is what i call good aim.

  71. I’ll never understand people moaning about the kitchen jokes. You are aware that the statuses weren’t posted for you, right? That the jokes are made by people who’ve never met each other and read by people who’ve never met each other? They’re not old. If another website chooses to go looking for jokes on that kitchen theme then of course they’re going to find jokes on the kitchen theme.

  72. Kitchen jokes are funny. Also to whoever said the racist jokes thing, me and my friends always go back and forth at each other with tar baby, cracker, n-word, honkey etc. I find it hilarious.

  73. @Jaz

    That is because familiarity allows a comfort level to say those things, whereas among strangers the intent of the speaker is not known. For example: I can call my mom a dirty cheap whore. But if you were to say that, well, I would expect you to pay her the $10 you guys agreed on.

  74. This whole women are ‘slaves and should be in the kitchen’ thing was never funny….and to those people who say its all a bit of banter and it doesn’t really mean anything then I suggest you get real because as long as we think that its never going to change.

    Rant over.

  75. I probably wouldn’t mind the period/kitchen jokes so much if it weren’t for the fact that every guy I hear them from is actually pretty chauvinistic. I don’t overreact or anything, but they’re really not all that funny to me.

    That said, the comment about lighting the fuse on a tampon is brilliant.

  76. @Soup
    $10??!?! I thought we agreed on $4.

  77. I’m over the “women belong in the kitchen” joke now too. The only people I can picture using it are sad little teenage boys (some possibly trapped in older men’s bodies).

    The second one is very weird…but my husband did once offer his nipple to our baby in an exhausted desperate attempt to get him to sleep…our baby didn’t go for it fortnately, that would have been waaay too weird :/

  78. and if you can fit your male anatomy in a breast pump you have NOTHING at all to be proud of – the actual area of suction is very small.

  79. dietpillpyramidscheme

    I don’t mind a sexist joke, as long as it’s a joke…

    I know some people who are genuine misogynists, one of whom posted continual “Man Laws”, dripping with deep-seeded disrespect for women. So, when I posted a sarcastic “Tool Law” a firestorm of a facebook fight broke out..

    Sadly, Lamebook are yet to post it.

  80. @ dietpillpyramidscheme ha ha ha ha ha ha

  81. 1,3 & 4 Lol. Some things just make me chuckle no matter how old they are. This stuff doesn’t bother or offend me, banter rocks!

  82. pearls-before-swine

    I can’t help it, I laughed soooo hard at Emma’s.

    And I’m a lady.

  83. In the Emma one, it’s not the implication that women should be slaves to men that is funny. It’s that she, probably thinking how clever she was with her (equally sexist and boring, I might add) quote, still got owned by the simplest of retorts.

  84. WHAAAAA….

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