Thursday, March 11, 2010

Gender Benders

previous post: FTWinsday! (part 2)

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84 Comments

  1. @DivineMonkeyTrigger
    Great in theory, but I know far too many women who have mated with said chumps. I’m afraid, it may be too late 🙁

  2. Thumby loves women.

  3. I wouldn’t have thought to ask either because I just went ahead and assumed “downstairs” right away…

  4. Unless his penis has the girth of a typical breast, I would imagine it would be difficult to get any kind of suction going. I’d make my husband get his own breastpump, either way.

  5. @ el_monty…So did I!

    Although thinking about it, a woman’s boob has more girth than a man’s willy so I’m not sure the apparatus would fit properly and have the desired effect.

  6. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    …but while we are having a crack at trying to ridicule women boys, how ’bout Kristin?

    If her husband was to borrow her breast pump, she assumes there’s an equipotent chance of him using it on his tit OR perhaps dong, but she has no idea which one might potentially feel better for a guy. Yea guys are pretty weird, you’re totally right, one minute we are thinkin’ with our dicks, the next we are performing all the computational activity in the areola area. Crazy men.

  7. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    oh, el_monty beat me to the 1/2 arsed punchline…

  8. I tried to play with my husband’s nipples once. He said….’don’t it’s dangerous’

  9. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    I assumed that’s why there are products called breast pumps, and products called penis pumps, so to abolish all the confusion from the get go, but you gotta give it a try I guess.

  10. I milk my penis all the time, but the wife sure does get mad when I store my “milk” in the refrigerator. The baby doesn’t seem to mind, though.

  11. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Okidoke, now I’m starting to see the relevance of the moniker, “Soup”.
    Thus far you get the nomination for the MacGuyver award.
    “Milking”, yeah, you keep telling yourself that that’s what it is…

  12. Thanks for my morning chuckle Soup!

  13. as a woman with a pretty non-pc sense of humor, the kitchen jokes are getting really old. it’s really unoriginal, predictable, and yeah while the reactions can be funny, it doesn’t even get a reaction out of me anymore. i’m not offended, i just feel bad at the guy cracking the joke for just not being funny and amusing only people with the same boring, cooking cutter, “LOL VAGINAS BLEED THATS GROSS” sense of humor. think outside the box (no pun intended).

    and women, stop doing the “why r men sew stupid…” jokes copy and pasted from a chain letter your idiot girlfriends probably forwarded. they are no more clever/funny than the dated cathy comics taped to your refrigerator door. yeah, women have come a long way, but being a dick and acting like we’re smarter or better than men is not cute; it’s asinine and untrue that one gender is ultimately better than the other. if you want to try to insult the male gender by being a sexist tool, you’d better be ready to get something sexist and (if the guy is original) probably hilarious back.

  14. The fact is if you leave any kind of receptacle like a breast pump or an apple pie for that matter laying around the house, the guys will put it in there.
    That’s the reality girls, so keep them stashed if you want to keep them semen free.

  15. I don’t see why people think these people continue to think that these sexist “jokes” are funny. Just like “your mum” jokes, these lost their humour. I don’t understand why lamebook proceeds to post the same jokes in different context. It’s shameful on lamebook’s behalf.

  16. Because sexist jokes ARE funny, and they always will be. Yes, “your momma” jokes went out of style years ago, but they are not on the same level as sexist jokes.

  17. lol

  18. DragonflyOfDoom

    Dear eric_benjamin, sexist jokes are funny, I admit that, but like every joke in this planet, they get old. I would, however, be glad to hear you tell some new sexist jokes. Maybe something that doesn’t have the words ‘woman’ and ‘kitchen’ in the same sentence.

  19. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    The are funny, the kitchen jokes will never die. The first one was the best. And yes we need new material just so we have more stuff to laugh at.

    @Girlpants I’m sure I would marry any hot girl I see wearing an “I should be in the kitchen” T-shirt

    lol @Malteaser keeps typing just lol

  20. yeah as long as kitchen jokes get a rise out of people they will be funny and they will never die. i personally find them hilarious.

    i’m a fan of helen keller jokes as well. they’re great cause she’s handicapped and a woman. it’s like hitting 2 sensitive flocks of birds with one stone, and that my friends is what i call good aim.

  21. I’ll never understand people moaning about the kitchen jokes. You are aware that the statuses weren’t posted for you, right? That the jokes are made by people who’ve never met each other and read by people who’ve never met each other? They’re not old. If another website chooses to go looking for jokes on that kitchen theme then of course they’re going to find jokes on the kitchen theme.

  22. Kitchen jokes are funny. Also to whoever said the racist jokes thing, me and my friends always go back and forth at each other with tar baby, cracker, n-word, honkey etc. I find it hilarious.

  23. @Jaz

    That is because familiarity allows a comfort level to say those things, whereas among strangers the intent of the speaker is not known. For example: I can call my mom a dirty cheap whore. But if you were to say that, well, I would expect you to pay her the $10 you guys agreed on.

  24. This whole women are ‘slaves and should be in the kitchen’ thing was never funny….and to those people who say its all a bit of banter and it doesn’t really mean anything then I suggest you get real because as long as we think that its never going to change.

    Rant over.

  25. I probably wouldn’t mind the period/kitchen jokes so much if it weren’t for the fact that every guy I hear them from is actually pretty chauvinistic. I don’t overreact or anything, but they’re really not all that funny to me.

    That said, the comment about lighting the fuse on a tampon is brilliant.

  26. @Soup
    $10??!?! I thought we agreed on $4.

  27. I’m over the “women belong in the kitchen” joke now too. The only people I can picture using it are sad little teenage boys (some possibly trapped in older men’s bodies).

    The second one is very weird…but my husband did once offer his nipple to our baby in an exhausted desperate attempt to get him to sleep…our baby didn’t go for it fortnately, that would have been waaay too weird :/

  28. and if you can fit your male anatomy in a breast pump you have NOTHING at all to be proud of – the actual area of suction is very small.

  29. dietpillpyramidscheme

    I don’t mind a sexist joke, as long as it’s a joke…

    I know some people who are genuine misogynists, one of whom posted continual “Man Laws”, dripping with deep-seeded disrespect for women. So, when I posted a sarcastic “Tool Law” a firestorm of a facebook fight broke out..

    Sadly, Lamebook are yet to post it.

  30. @ dietpillpyramidscheme ha ha ha ha ha ha

  31. 1,3 & 4 Lol. Some things just make me chuckle no matter how old they are. This stuff doesn’t bother or offend me, banter rocks!

  32. pearls-before-swine

    I can’t help it, I laughed soooo hard at Emma’s.

    And I’m a lady.

  33. In the Emma one, it’s not the implication that women should be slaves to men that is funny. It’s that she, probably thinking how clever she was with her (equally sexist and boring, I might add) quote, still got owned by the simplest of retorts.

  34. WHAAAAA….

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