Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Gabe’s First Day on the Job

previous post: Background Checks!

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61 Comments

  1. well let’s hope this guy doesn’t have his boss on his fb

    Dominos is better

  2. first ;)
    I love it when people give you a running commentary on every second of their life.
    oh wait. I lied.

  3. not first! damn it ;)

  4. The diary of a model employee, this is how all people in all jobs should be.

  5. Oh noooo, this is my first post everrr, and I was gonna do the whole “BEN!!” first thing, and then I realised I wasn’t first at all and aaaaargh! (Anyways, do people still do that “Ben” thing?)

    And yeah, Pizza Hut is waaay better than Domino’s – I once found a fake fingernail in a Domino’s pizza, it was gross. But I did actually eat it (the pizza, not the nail).

  6. SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES

  7. Bill and Ted jokes aside, fuck you all, Papa John’s is better than Pizza Hut OR Domino’s.

  8. haha I agree Pizza hut is better than dominos.. (what’s that “ben” thing?).. but don’t eat anything other than pizza at pizza hut. I went there a few weeks ago and ordered bruschetta and the bread was so thin and overcooked.. then my dads gf ordered quesadillas and they were thin, overcooked, and one quesadilla had nothing in it. the others only had a tiny bit of crap that didn’t even taste good lol. dads gf complained and they were confused as to why, as if they did nothin wrong. they gave us free dessert and later free dinner anyway.. that was my dads bday dinner ffs.

  9. You took your dad to Pizza Hut for his birthday? He must be so proud.

  10. I love Papa John’s. But Pizza Pro has the best pizza, ever.

  11. interesting first day. dominos pizza is garbage though. so is pizza hut’s. papa ginos is where it’s at.

  12. Going to Pizza Hut for bruschetta and quesadillas? That’s like going to McDonalds for salad.

  13. Why must we keep explaining Ben?

    Ben is a guy that used to post on here and every time someone would say “FIRST!” he would get suuuuper pissed. So we started saying Ben instead. That was the very short version but I don’t feel like typing out everything.

    And I agree with cocacola…bruschetta and quesadillas from Pizza Hut? The fuck?

  14. Gabe.

  15. @heisenberg: Gabe is Ben, Frodo, Jason with his Monster Fail, Fake Boz… and a douchebag.

  16. I don’t even remember what happened in Jason’s Monster Fail.

  17. It’s sick and sad when the lamebook comments are lamer than the original posts.

  18. re: #8 (shampoo): only an idiot would go to a commercial pizza joint and order BRUSCHETTA and a QUESADILLA. seriously, that’s like fucking with the ingredients in a recipe and then complaining that it tasted like shit.

  19. robotninjazombiebear

    LOL@ cocacola. totally agree though, pizza hut is bomb. super supreme pan pizza with easy sauce. i know now what’s for dinner.

  20. @BritishHobo I have no idea what you are talking about, but I am sure you are right. I just thought Gabe was the traditional “I’m fourteenth” substitute.

  21. I hadn’t seen the post immediately before mine. Impeccable timing as usual.

  22. The Pizza Hut guy wins…after some pot any pizza would taste good

  23. Lol. I just had Papa Johns and a doobie. (yes I’m old and call them doobies)

  24. @heisenberg: Ben I think you just saw explained, Frodo is some running joke that got old ages ago but I haven’t seen in a while from some post where these kids were arguing about which of them was Frodo, and people on Lamebook started to say ‘so-and-so is Frodo’ about people they thought sucked, Boz was an awesome commenter on Lamebook back when you didn’t need to sign in to comment, and people started commenting as Boz and saying shit stuff like ‘I’m gay!’ until he got fed up and left and then Lamebook fixed it so we had to sign up to use these names, Jason’s Monster Fail was a Lamebook post I remember NOTHING about because it got deleted, and you probably knew all this and I’m just looking like a patronizing douchebag.

    No offence Gabe, you’re probably a nice guy when you’re not high. And I’m not condemning anyone for doing drugs. But people that boast about it on Facebook etc as if it makes them sooooo cool? Ugh…

  25. I think I’d enjoy reading more of Gabe’s postings.

  26. damn, i honestly thought this was going somewhere epic like a post from his boss saying hes fired and has to pay for all the customer pizza he has been scoffing

  27. I want to add Gabe to my friends list and enjoy reading his posts from his night of pizza delivery. I think it would be better than some of the crap they have on TV.
    As for the pizza comparisons.. Dominos and Pizza Hut are so-so but Papa Johns is the worst! If you want great pizza then get Papa Murphys!!! The BEST pizza I have ever tasted.

  28. so you know: this is my first time posting a comment, but i have been reading all of yours for a very, very long time. (so what if im a creeper?) i just wanted to let you all know that i love you, and some of my best laughs have come from your comments. thanks. :)

  29. PraetorianXVIII

    how do pizza delivery drivers have iphones?!

  30. San Dimas High School football RULES!!!

  31. @BritishHobo
    I think Jason’s Monster Fail was the one where Jason accidentally uploaded a picture showing how he had crapped himself while passed out naked on the toilet or something like that.

  32. BritishHobo and europe_rocks,

    Jason’s Monster Fail was an email that a guy wrote to his friend (who was in a town he was about to visit) which detailed how he had cheated on his girlfriend with some other girl (Sabrina or something) but that the other girl didn’t know he already had a GF. He mentioned that he was “glad he met her” and thought “she was cool” but she couldn’t compare to his current girlfriend, who didn’t know about the cheating. Then the person he wrote his confession to pointed out that he had just replied to about 10 people.

    Why I remember something so trivial to such detail is beyond me, however. The human brain is a strange thing.

  33. MsBuzzkillington

    I was waiting for a post “oh man just got fired.” I thought it was going to be a one night job.

    That would have been funny.

    I have never been a fan of Pizza Hut pizza, Dominoes is way way better.

  34. Bucky, aaahhh, yess, I remember. Thanks for clearing that up.

  35. CommentsAtLarge

    Being high and delivering pizza – when he gets the munchies and takes it out on his deliveries, I think the boss might catch on. If he doesn’t find out about Gabe’s play-by-play of being “extremely blazed” on company time first of course.

  36. @Bucky Fellini: Oh, I remember! Did he actually come on to the comments page for that post, like in other Lamebook posts that were deleted? Because when I googled it, somebody said something about him threatening to sue for libel, or something. I dunno. I probably shoudln’t bring it up. SORRY LAMEBOOK.

    On a similiar note, Lamebook’s Facebook page says we will be hearing more from Gabe about his job in the future… which makes me thing… are they just building this up until we get another one armed girl/Jason, and the posts get deleted and I have to ask you guys what happened because I’ve forgotten?

  37. It’s all about Digiorno

  38. http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/jasons-monster-fail.jpg

  39. Sweet, no “Awaiting moderation”…. hell yeah! Fight the man! Fight the power! Fight the …… hmmm, system? Is that right?

  40. Godfathers is the only good pizza out there!!!!

  41. Hold up, hold up, hold up.

    You can get QUESADILLAS from your Pizza Hut????

    All we have are those shitty pastas. Fuck you, New Zealand Pizza Hut.

  42. Awesome mcowles :D I remember now… good times…

    And I was exptecting some kind of Awaiting Moderation for actually saying the words ‘Jason’s Monster Fail’ like if you even try and mention… the other thing…

  43. Mellow Mushroom is by far the best pizza, ever.

  44. Mellow Mushroom is overrated. Tino’s Pizza in Tucson is where it’s at.. But otherwise, Papa John’s.

  45. Crust Pizza in Sydney is the best!

  46. @TwoWorlds:

    I see what you did there. Good on you!

    “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K…”

  47. I feel bad for anyone who doesn’t live in NY because they eat inferior pizza.

  48. Flamboyant stereotype

    Would it be lame to have a Facebook group for Gabe?

  49. mymomruinedfacebook

    Dude I hope Ben lives on forever and ever, everytime someone starts on here they are confused by Benimmediately.You end up figuring it out over time…sorta lol

  50. mymomruinedfacebook

    @BritishHobo you are awesome…and I think that “Pizza Hut is way better than Dominoes” could subliminally mean that indeed he did get fired

  51. What a stoner. Apparently there are more of Gabe’s high tales on the way according to LB’s Facebook fan page…

  52. lol

  53. @manda27 It was his idea to go to pizza hut! The rest of us weren’t stupid, just his gf. We all ordered pizza. She mooched off my dad’s pizza when she was starving cause her food wasn’t good enough.

    @jackanddianne Yeah well consider yourself lucky they don’t :P

  54. yes you can’t beat the post , you just need to read and laugh and not drive anywhere near him!

  55. I’d totally friend Gabe…he seems like a pretty chillax sort.

  56. PeanutButtercup

    @jackanddianne, the pasta at NZ Pizza Hut is bad enough, WHY THE HECK DO YOU WANT QUESADILLAS TOO?!?!?!?!

  57. @jackanddiane nooooooo quesadillas are far too precious to be spoiled by Pizza Hut, you want to get them somewhere classy, like Taco Bell. @PeanutButtercup agreed :) .

  58. I love Gabe. He’s totally Jim Anchower from the Onion.

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-was-too-gone-to-go-to-work,16656/

  59. I am BEN, the original douche Ben seems to have left the scene, I can’t even see a post with diction that vaguely resembling the “Original Ben”, he threw his dummy out the pram and left, last real Ben message I recall was “Fucks Sake”.

  60. I have a massive craving for pizza. And weed. Cheers Gabe.

  61. Not gettin’ it. :/

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