Wednesday, March 10, 2010

FTWinsday! (part 2)

previous post: A Few Quickies



  1. No, Tarek, STD’s are NOT worth having.

  2. Me and Mr. Lamebook have different dictionaries. In his, the definition of win appears to be ‘not funny’.

  3. Unless subversively he’s showing that these people THINK they’ve won, whilst really they’re just as lame as everybody else on Lamebook.

    Including me :(

  4. SomeRandomChick

    Yes, we get it Kris, we are paying attention to your comments little buddy.

  5. What’s worse people that type your when they mean you’re or, people that type you’re when they mean your?

  6. Worst part , Tarek is a guy.
    and Gabrielle and Chad should be locked up.

  7. Lady Gaga is yuck. good on Brandon :)


    Please help find Jonny Dorey, British Exchange student missing.

  9. I dunno yimmie, you’re call. ;)

  10. I vote for one bikini picture in every post. It’s nice to see women represented and it will counter-act the sexism of the “women in the kitchen” posts.

  11. Can someone please explain how the first one is supposed to be a ‘win?’

  12. It’s hard to believe these girls have time to pose at the beach when there is dinner to be made.
    Also British Hobo, I think the Viagra post deserves a little bit of credit. Boner jokes are great.

  13. Karrah. Why. People need to understand that misspelling names does not make them cool.

  14. I’m so tired of the tree in the forest joke. Sound is produced only in the human ear, if no one is there, it does not make sound.?

  15. gah, no question mark.

  16. @nashntth, isn’t sound produced in squirrels’ ears as well? Just sayin’…

  17. No, it’s produced in the human ear only. Nothing else in the world hears sound.

    Vibrations transmitted through an elastic solid or a liquid or gas, with frequencies in the approximate range of 20 to 20,000 hertz, capable of being detected by human organs of hearing.

  18. Brandon and Kris FTL

  19. Reading this definition, I’m going to have to refer to my physical dictionary and see if I didn’t misread it.

  20. That sounds like a sound decision. ;)

  21. I must be really bored to care, but I’m not following the thread of comments in the beach boobs one.
    Which one is Mckenna, the kid, or beach babe 2, who happens to be wearing glasses possibly owned by beach babe 1?
    Are the big shades they’re referring to, the glasses on beach babe 2, or the all the tits?
    And the tit comparison, is that between the 2 beach babes, or the freakin obvious, the kid?
    Get your heads around all that.

  22. Then what the hell do Dogs and cats hear if only humans can hear sound? I’m pretty sure whenever I call my dog over to me, he doesn’t just guess that I called him over.

  23. All I see in that last photo is that side boob. I”m not into chicks… well maybe sometimes, but that side boob is like a beacon.

  24. You’re really overthinking things, wordpervert.

  25. You love your side boob sightings don’t you ee?

  26. I do word, I do. I just can’t help it.

  27. And Scara, you are right.
    That was my mental gymnastics for the day, I did it in lieu of the newspaper crossword, but it was much more exhausting for me.

  28. ee, it’s ok, that’s your thing.
    Me, I’m more into a decent package sighting.

  29. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Wow nashntth said that human ears PRODUCE sound, and everyone seems kind of down with his medical reference, the online dictionary. I’m gonna assume it was a joke and not bother trying to explain that as long as there is a medium for the compressed oscillating waves of sound to travel through then it exists. Human ears RECEIVE noise, they don’t produce it dude, and compared with a lot of other animals, our ears suck.

    Elton John & Lady Gaga are two hermaphrodites on opposite ends of the spectrum.

    Those viagra jokes were comedically impotent. (Yep, that’s the best I got)

    word, I’m pretty sure in this case they are talking about glasses but they mean tits… It’s kind of suspect as even the ones with norks seem kind of young. But not as suspect as being called Remington.

  30. My angle is not whether or not creatures other than humans hear. The debate for me is whether or not what they hear is defined as ‘sound’, as opposed to noise or an audible disturbance.

    Different take on it:

  31. omg. i love how the picture just has the glasses blurred out. yep, totally can’t recognize them now.

  32. Bloody hell nash, I’m confused enough by the boob posting.

  33. Correct me if I’m wrong (highly likely) isn’t sound the same thing as noise or an audible disturbance?
    I would have to argue that if you recorded it and played back the “noise” then did it make a sound or noise seeing as you say that it’s not a sound if it isn’t picked up directly by a human ear…
    I may have your ideology on it wrong though.

  34. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    nashntth if I use my finger to flick you on the lobe THEN your ear will produce a sound.
    You did say “Nothing else in the world hears sound.” But I guarantee almost all animals do.
    But you were talking of subjective idealism, and I’m WAAAAYYYY too hungover to get into that. I think what you’re saying is that you are making a comment about the way we process sound.

    But now I’m one of those lamebookers that gets all fact happy, I’m not trying to condescend, I get where you be comin’ from (ie, I hear ya), you just didn’t articulate it that well.

    Let’s just talk about side boobs instead! Hmmm periphaboob!

  35. See, it’s all about the side boob. It always lightens the mood.

    word, I do love the package sightings as well, but I’m still recovering from the guy with the Spiderman undies. shudder…

  36. From the Wikipedia article you posted…”It is not the absence of sound that should be considered, but rather the absence of awareness of the sound.”

    Side boobs are nice too though

  37. Yeah ee, I was away for a few days and came in late to see that one. It was worth it though, I’m seriously thinking of doing something like that for my next dress up do.

  38. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Besides baps on the beach get me way more “Zen” then philosophical riddles…

  39. The nice one’s should be appreciated. I’m off to go look at my own side boob now, I’ve gotten myself all worked up over it.

  40. Can I see it too, ee?

  41. Go for it word! lol!

  42. Anytime, when have I ever denied you?

  43. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Sucks to be me. There isn’t a single part of my body that I can do that with. :-(

  44. What no side boob? Well there is always the wonderful side bulge. Don’t let that get ya down.

  45. Not true Divine, all you boys dress one way or the other… enables us girls to have a bit of a sideshow.

  46. Very true word.

  47. Well Divine, both ee and I now have our tops off, there is side, top, bottom, and front boob on show.
    That beats that existential ear shit doesn’t it?

  48. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Sidedick? Sidenut? What are we talking about girls?

  49. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    “Beats” being the operative word, word.

  50. Think Mick Jagger in his tight pants Divine.
    Get the drift?

  51. Yeap, it’s all up for show now.

  52. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Well I had a delicious mental image of two girls somewhere out in cyberspace stroking their nipples, and I was anticipating the next message, now I’m just trying to shake Mick Jagger out of my head. I can’t get no… da da dadada da dada da da… satisfaction….

  53. I got a little drunk last night ee, I think this conversation is coming from having a good night, and being in a good mood today mostly.

  54. I think mine is from my 3rd glass of wine and my erotica, that just about does it.

  55. Divine, there is stroking. Lots of stroking!

  56. Divine, ee and I will usually have a little thing like this about once a week, it seems to happen on a Thursday afternoon my time for some reason.
    A bit of harmless fun, we can be serious too, you know.
    Feel free to tune in and join in around this time each week.

  57. I’m starting to think he tuned out word, just when we were about to play.

  58. And ee is a wino hehe!

  59. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    ‘Cause I try and I try and I try and I try… Nope still got Jagger dancing around on a stage in my head.
    Wait ee, you read or write erotica? If you write then I’d love to get my hands on some of that… Yes, my hands would be ALL over that, side, top, bottom, and front…

  60. I think he went soft after the Mick Jagger reference.

  61. I read erotica, and still… I can’t get no satisfaction. But I do try.

  62. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Tuned out? No way, I’m just a super visual person and my mind’s eye has been sullied by the thought of an old rocker in tight pants… But lets get back to the stroking bit shall we?

  63. Divine, you can still get your hands on it though.

  64. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    They’re plenty busy by now ;-)
    Just nobody mention Keith Richards and I’m almost there… ha

  65. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    *hands, that is*

  66. Divine, if you so desire, you should peruse some old posts that have ee and I in various scenarios.
    The banana one is a personal favourite of mine.

  67. Mmmm, that sweet succulent fruit. Good times word, good times!

  68. Keith

  69. Curves in all the right places, firm yet soft.

  70. Cruel word, but I love it!

  71. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    K, every thursday then is it?

    So no matter the topic of discourse on the lamebook post it just goes freudian then?
    What if it’s granny knickers?

    ps I have a new found appreciation of bananas now. Hot hot hot

  72. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    word you cruel temptress. Suggesting Keith Richards while I’m nearing climax is sophisticated sexual torture. You need a spanking…

  73. We would find a way around old lady underwear, don’t you worry.
    I said Keith only as a means to delay your gratification Divine.

  74. Did someone say spanking?

  75. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Oh, you were doing me a favour? How can I ever repay you?

  76. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Yea ee, a big hard slap on the cheek. It’d leave a perfect red hand print, like I’m branding you both as my own, I’d take it in turns and you would both be leaning over the bed wearing nothing but high heals…

  77. ee, if you’re anything like me, and I know you are, a good spanking never goes astray, does it?

  78. Red high heal Divine!

    Word, it just brings more pleasure and heightens the already intense sexual situation. I do love it!

  79. Now you’re the one being cruel Divine, you’ve tapped into one of things.

  80. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Discipline is integral in my books. Why don’t you maybe tell me how you like to be spanked?

  81. one of MY things was what I meant to say, but I’m sure you get it.
    And right on ee!

  82. Divine? Do you have a cat o’ nine tails?

  83. Sounds like ee just answered your question Divine.

  84. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Yep. and paddles, both studded an non. And a riding crop. Which should I use first?

  85. Personally ee, I prefer a black heel.

  86. Studded huh? Now we’re talking!

  87. What a pair we make word.

  88. I’ve actually never been horse riding, but am up for the challenge.

  89. Bareback comes to mind…

  90. 2 peas in the proverbial pod.

  91. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Yea fuck red high heels rule… Good call!

    …and somehow ‘pervert I forgive the nonsense typo as a sign that i’m getting through…

    2′s company, but 3′s just a whole shit load of naughty fun, damn, turns out I can get some satisfaction.

    *Lights cigarette*

  92. Of course ee, I had other visions.

  93. Word, I do love your imagination.

    Divine, a cigarette? Already? Where’s our spankings?

  94. Well thanks Divine, I rarely make mistakes… typing or in bed.

  95. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Shit. Mea culpa! What can I say? I’m being a selfish lover…

    Well I asked you what you girls would like to be spanked with first, but I guess you said riding crop right?

  96. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    *stubbs out proverbial cigarette, rubs chin stubble in contemplation of the beautiful sight of two bare arses and plots next move*

  97. Give and take Divine, give and take.

    I think the riding crop has peaked our interest!

  98. Hands for me mostly Divine.

  99. But I’m willing to take a crack at that whip.

  100. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    First I’d grab the silken rope from my top drawer and tie both of you up using one piece so that you are facing each other but tied to the bedpost and not able to use your hands….

  101. Nice choice word!

  102. Shit, that’s hot! Then what?

  103. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    ee has red heels on and ‘pervert’s are black…

    I open the toy cupboard and choose my implement.

  104. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    The riding crop is about 12 inches long, which is a good size in anyone’s books, not too big so I can stay close and whisper in your ears dirty, dirty things as you bend over in receptive anticipation…

  105. Wow

  106. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    word is first, she has been waiting for me to meter out some tough love since her dream last night, but don’t worry ee there’s plenty to go ’round, and you are definitely not too far behind…

  107. holy crap

  108. Keep talkin’

  109. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    with an adroit flick of the wrist word is caught unawares. The first pang on the nerves makes her instantly want more, which she gets… one crimson red line marks each of the buttocks, and she cannot help but to let out a deep moan.

  110. (all you reader take some notes, cus this is how it’s done!)

  111. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    then I make my way around to the pert rear view of ee…
    She moves her booty in a circular motion, as if in invitation…

  112. And ee, Divine?

  113. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    I like to tease, so I make her wait just a little bit longer than necessary…

  114. Uh huh…

  115. Ha! you got there before me Divine, which is never a good thing for the man to do, so now you have to finish me off.

  116. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    and then just when she thinks I’m being a prick, I let her have it two. Because I feel I have been a little cruel her first strike is a little heavy handed, it almost breaks the skin, but this is exactly how she likes it…

  117. True, finish the lady.

  118. Divine, you should write a fucking book. That was good!

  119. Fuck yes ee, how does that sound?

  120. Feels to real my cheek is stinging!

  121. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    After 5 minutes or so, I decide that these girls need the use of their hands after all, and now it seems as though they should most def return the favour… They are untied now with at least 12 lashings each being worn on their sumptuous rumps

  122. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    I think we all just wrote the book… Where’d everyone else go?

  123. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Fuck ‘em anyways…
    That was fun

  124. Damn, give me a moment to come back from that. I need to catch my breath!

  125. Your good Divine! Kudos to you!

  126. Now I need a cigarette!

  127. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    See what the mention of sideboob does to me?

  128. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Thanks ee, thanks ‘pervert…
    Looks like we got off topic a bit, what I meant to type was “lol”

  129. Yeap, that about sums it up word!

    Word, as always a pleasure!

    Divine, you did wonderfully! Look forward to our next random encounter.

    Off to bed I go… fully stated!

  130. I’m pretty sure a lot of people reading this kinda like it, others get a bit pissed when we do it.

    Do I care?


  131. This perverted girl is very weary after her big night last night.
    Time for a nanna nap, in a g-string, not granny pants ok.
    Thank you both.

  132. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    It’s all fun and games, and a fraction as vexing as people who sit around hitting refresh on the homepage so they can type “First” first when new posts come up.

    Every thursday then…?

  133. Thursday Divine ;) night

  134. Lamebook doesn’t cease to bore me. Which is ironic because I take the time to read and comment it.

    God I’m boring.

  135. Yeah, Kris is totally lame.

  136. loving all the bumsniffing in this thread.

    No-one has offered Chad a vigorous anal raping with a broom handle yet, so I guess it’s up to me again. A woman’s work is never done.

  137. You’re right it’s not. I’m hungry. Now who let you out of the kitchen?

  138. lol

  139. Ahaha Nate :D

  140. C’mooon guys, I thought we were over the crazy sex :p

  141. Er…ok.

  142. Lamebook sucks. Everything about Lamebook sucks. Let’s spend all our time there.

  143. Oh Stoner, you too? Bend over then, there’s a good boy, I’ve got a bad back.

  144. Leequette, i have some ironing that needs to be done , and i do believe you could put your broom to better use …

  145. Don’t worry, I’ll get to you, Fr. The one thing I do ask is that if any blood comes out your nose while I am anally penetrating you, you MUST clean it up yourself. You simply cannot treat this place like a hotel. You can wipe your bleeding arse on that pile of freshly-ironed clothes on your way out :)

  146. haha women with a sense of humour , they are so rare that you need to cherish ‘em

    On the record : i am joking before i get masacred by the feminist brigade :-)

  147. Shush now, back to your Xbox.

  148. tsss xbox , behave , no need to get so defensive

    ps3 is the thang …

  149. OMFG! This entire tread is full of male and female fluids. We where witnessing the lamest “public virtual sex” in lamebook history. really guys? erotica is only cool if you have someone REAL to share your fantasies right next to you. If not, what are you gonna do when you are turned on? I can only think of three choices: 1)going to sleep with a boner so big that is as unconfortable as gettin a hockey stick into your bed. 2)Masturbate -and feeling alone afterwards- 3)Getting laid with the cheapest ugliest person willing to fuck with you within 100 yards around.

    Erotica es overrated in my book. I don´t like to read eat -even if a love to read and write- I like to DO it. yes, imagination does a good lover. But performance is the key.

    BTW. Sorry for my english. It´s not my first language.

  150. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Hobo walks into room and catches Monkey with crop in hand (mid swing) wearing a French maid costume (that’s how I pictured it):
    “Ah this, this isn’t how it looks!” Divine scrambles for subterfuge. “this is a fly swat!”

    C’mon Hobo, loosen up a little, you don’t want to be the prude of the website now… I tried to stick to the post but there was too much talk of sideboobage, and I got carried away.
    You’re the only one that told us to get a (chat)room. So maybe everybody else was too busy loosing a load (or indeed, lunch), the point is this is lamebook and transgressive comedy rocks out with it’s cock out.

    Besides, it wasn’t “crazy sex” it was a 3 way cyber-spanking, did you even read it?
    …and for the love of all things Holy, what makes you think anyone here is over “crazy sex”?

    Behave yourself, because if there is one thing today’s debauchery made manifest it’s that I do not shy away from my disciplinarian tendencies. And there is a studded paddle with your name all over it big boy… Peace.

  151. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Camil: 1 hump or 2?
    K, I’ll stop now.

  152. man, show some bikinis, and get over 152 comments.

  153. How did you guys even manage to twist this one on to sex? :P

  154. And why do I always seem to get here when it’s all over? :(

  155. Damn those are some nice tittes! Thumby likes titties!

  156. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Hobo @ 153: The mention of sideboob soon escalated to full scale titty talk, rounding off with some cheese-core spanking clichés, the transcript is before you. I was horny as a rhino fight and kind of walked into it.

    In my defence, at least this didn’t take place on the Corey Haim memorial thread.

  157. You can blame me, I mentioned the side boob. And the Cheese-core spanking was funny as shit! Not that you didn’t do a great job Divine!

  158. hey Divine, it looks spanking is one of your favorite activites. being girls, boys, dogs. Wathever that moves.(ok, that was my last one).

    I don´t to start some stupid youtube kind of fight here for seing who has the largest dick. In fact, most people here are pretty cool, and I don´t want to ruin that.

    Peace accepted.


  159. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    No no, now let’s not blame anyone, the sideboob started before we “connected”…
    No regrets but seriously I need to stop drinking so much.
    O.k. I’m personally banning myself from this thread hereafter ee, but we’ll talk again methinks ;-)

  160. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    Camil: I wanted out but now I need to clarify. Peace was directed at Hobo, not you… and now Hobo wants some. You, however accused me of the worst sex on lamebook, but I’ll let you off because you aren’t privy to the full extent of the joy of the written word. Clearly I care a whole heap what people think of me so after you accused me of liking to spank dogs (WOW!), well first I had to stop laughing my arse clean off, and now I’m going to have to cry myself to sleep… With my dick “that’s as big as going to sleep with a hockey stick in my bed”-whatever that means…

    I’m so done here… But for the sake of not having to hear anymore I’ll now say “Peace” to you too.

  161. isn’t the ‘kitchen’ joke getting a little old?

    i’m not sure why Craig’s post is lame, or even the entire entry. it’s just a Guster lyric and his friend isn’t funny.

  162. Lamebook sexers FTL. Unless you’re all fifteen, in which case I guess I can’t fault you for being so freaking horny that you’ll start to cyber with strangers on the comments section of a site that has nothing to do with sex, leaving your trails for all to read, or perhaps not realizing that the internet is a public forum. Or hey, maybe you’re all exhibitionists. That would make sense too. Sigh, the frequent commenters on this site are capable of fantastic wit and beautiful snark, but this is just lame.

  163. dawn, I’ll always be a horny 15 year old girl in my head, heart, and loins, and I’m an exhibitionist as well, so you got me pegged.
    Everyone has an opinion, and like I said up there, I don’t really care, so think what you will.
    Have a nice day.

  164. Word, instead of launching into a long-winded diatribe aimed at public cyber-ers and their seeming lack of self-respect, I will say this: please know that there are better forums for this kind of sh*t than lamebook.
    I come to this site because I have a deep appreciation for humor, sarcasm and snark, and the commenters here bring it without mercy, most of the time making the comments twenty times more entertaining than the posts. (Yourself included, stepping beyond the subject at hand.) Then this ‘sex’ shiz started. I cannot be the only one disappointed by it.
    And before you label me a prude, or the likes of one, I understand your head, heart, and loins. I am an extremely lustful lady as well, trust me on that one.
    You have a nice day, too.

  165. hmmm, now for me a ‘side boob’ should really be the outer side, not the inner side as #5 shows, I would probably put that in the ‘cleavage’ category even though they aren’t being pushed together. Only my opinion…

  166. Point taken dawn.

    My final word as a participant in these kinds of threads is this…

    If people looked at my comments, they should note they never get particularly graphic, and that I try to keep it funny.
    I’d like to think I had at least a little bit of style, but if people still think I’m lame, then so be it.

  167. It was funny, meant to be so. I was laughing my ass off last night. If people can’t see the humor in in fuck it. Seriously… a riding crop! That was some funny shit. I have fun with word, and our antics. Harmless fun, that’s all it is.

  168. I’m not gonna read all of that.

    Does a dog whistle make sound? Go boobies.

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