Friday, March 26, 2010

Friday PhoDOHs!

previous post: Just a Few Quick Wins

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117 Comments

  1. Puddle of love? wtf….

  2. Eww, more like a puddle of pee. Richard does have nice legs though.

  3. dietpillpyramidscheme

    Congratulations, Jade, you’re not even trying to make people think you’ve given up smoking for the duration of your pregnancy.

    Hooray for child abuse!

    I can only hope that the “puddle of love” is sweat..

  4. That is a really small bed…

  5. ThinkingInPictures

    Am I the only one wondering where the hairbrush fit into that whole “puddle of love” scheme?

  6. Hairbrush for spanking!

    That cannot possibly be from one session. It’s either a year’s worth of cum, piss or bum sweat.

  7. With that thick Carebear’s comforter, I wouldn’t doubt they were sweating that much. And I’m assuming the hairbrush was to tame Richard’s crazy pubes, before putting those fishnets on. Nothing worse when crossdressing, than to have ball hair poking out from between your legs.

  8. That second one could be Farmville, VA not Facebook Farmville. I’m pretty sure that was taken on a side street in Richmond, VA.

  9. FRMVILLE – oh my god! it’s taking over the world!!!

  10. Didn’t you see the keyboard at the lower left corner? The “puddle of love” is where Richard watches internet porn.

  11. Looks like a sex doll in Richard’s photo…

  12. Farmville…. Wow. Where is that license plate from? I can’t tell. It kind of looks like an Ontario plate, which I hope that it ISN’T, because then I would have to move out of the province…!

  13. She could be a squirter.

  14. Sarah, I think it’s Quebec.
    Feign surprise now.

  15. Now there´s a puddle of vomit in my lounge after seeing the puddle of love. Gross.

    And that girl’s pose in photo 1 already told me she´s a bitch, didn´t need a caption!

  16. first of all, you all just revealed yourselves to be virgins, or you have never had sex for longer than 15 minutes. lol

    second, i knew that chick was a total bitch before I saw the caption. sorry, dude.

  17. @katethecurst if you’re leaking that much fluid during sex you’d be wise to have your glands checked.
    That or just quit pissing yourself.

  18. this website is making lose all faith in humanity. Doesn’t anyone believe in showing some class and dignity anymore?

  19. There are Farmvilles all across the U.S., so I don’t see this as something lame. Unless we know the owner of the car was deliberately referencing the game. Spicy Boughner, I agree with you. I’m from VA and actually have friends from Farmville and they are crazy proud to be from there, so…I could see a license plate.

  20. Not to defend a Lamebooker, BUT Farmville is also a college town located in Virginia. That car in the picture has a Virginia license plate and the picture was clearly taken in Richmond, Virginia. So, there’s a chance those people could be reppin’ their hometown and not a ridiculous Facebook app.

  21. Also, I have to comment on Jade’s picture. This makes me doubt every time someone told me “You don’t look that pregnant.”

  22. vaginassination

    Yeah, there’s a lot of virgins here. Or guys who have never REALLY made a girl cum.

    I have a picture just like the bed one, from her squirting. Look it up, kids. It’s not piss, and it’s not like boy cum. It’s not even a unicorn! And believe me, when you make a girl cum so hard she soaks the bed, you’ll be smiling.

  23. @katethecurst

    1. I thought your name said katethecrust :)

    2. I fully agree with you. Have you never been on top and were going at it so hard that sweat literally drips from your nose?

    If you think there’s no POSSIBLE way any two people made that much sweat during sex, then you are too vanilla for my ball gag.

    @Dinoburger

    Every woman is a squirter, if you push them through a wire fence hard enough.

  24. sweat + other fluids* (because she could definitely be a “liquid girl”)

  25. 1) It’d be pretty funny if Jade wasn’t actually pregnant, she was just fat. I’d love to see the massive bitchslap heading towards Hollie via internet.

    2) If Jade actually is pregnant, what is she doing with a cigarette in her hand?

  26. @forestfrenzy

    Yeah, that sounds like a likely explanation…way to spoil the fun. :(

  27. @Melee

    She’s smoking it.

  28. Yeah, everyone that doesn’t see how the ‘puddle of love’ could be possible is either a virgin or terrible at sex (redundant?).

    That said, no reason to post that pic on facebook ever.

  29. Fair play if he managed to make the girl squirt it’s no easy task, barriers and all that jazz but why take a photo of it then put it on FB…….grim.

    Smoking in pregnancy is rank but then again she’s about 14, go figure.

  30. Errrm if she’s a squirter then that is about right….trust me. There arent that many out there but when you meet one it’s quite disconcerting how much liquid a woman can make. Makes mens 5ml seem tame in comparison

  31. @RaRaSuperStar Snap…

    And yes even taking the picture in the first place shows a distinct lack of class….I concur, grim

  32. I haven’t squirted like that in years ;o) Lucky bint, maybe it was the fishnets and stiletto’s that did it!

    Enjoy it girls! Worth all the embarrassment lol

  33. I want to slap that boy in the first photo SO bad! How can he call that girl a ” huge bitch ” ? She’s wearing a horrible puffy dress, but she’s not huge.

  34. whats with the 1st one? She isn’t fat ;)

    Jade’s pic is SO wrong coz of the ciggie

    As for Richard, the leg looks like it belongs to a slapper

  35. That first photo is from the girl’s fb.

    Second pic looks like a messy first-timer lick out.

  36. @leequette the picture of the car’s license plate? I think I’m not understanding the term “first-timer lick out” then, haha

  37. Not that I care either way, but there is no real evidence to show that smoking causes any birth defects. Though the silly bint shouldn’t have put that on facebook and opened herself up to the mass hysteria that will no doubt follow.

  38. I notice that Richard’s “The Sexa!” album has 30 photos, of which this is the last one. Wonder what 1-29 show?

  39. #33,

    “Huge” has nothing to do with her physical size and everything to do with the size of what Sigmund Freud referred to as her “psychobitchual development” relative to the size of her “non-psychobitchual development”, which is clearly greater than a 1:1 ratio.

  40. and how come we are assuming that pic 1 is the boy talking about the girl? If it was the other way around it would make more sense, I mean – he’s pretty tall.

  41. Smoking increases the risk of SIDS, stunts the growth of the fetus, can cause brain abnomalities, increases the chance of asthma, but hey who gives a shit when all you wanna do is hang out with your mates smoking and generally being a bellend!

    Pfft, society today, wasn’t like that in my day ;o)

  42. This is why you never ever ever ever buy a mattress secondhand.

  43. RaRaSuperStar wins with the bellend comment

  44. And thank fuck she’s wearing a cheap New Look plastic rosary or she’d be damned to ‘Ol Scratchs firey home of unmarried mothers

  45. @DukeGuy

    I don’t know where you’re getting your “lack of real evidence” about smoking during pregnancy, but there are hundreds of studies about it.

    I recently read one that found that smoking during pregnancy greatly increases the chance of having a premature birth. That in itself will bring a child into the world that does not have a full 9 months to develop, allowing problems to form just from that.

  46. mcowles: You’re absolutely right. There is a good chance that if a woman smokes during her pregnancy, an infant will be born with a low birth weight and is also at risk for being born prematurely and addicted to nicotine. And that’s just the common side effects of smoking while pregnant. I know because my mother smoked while prenant and I was born prematurely and had to spend time in an incubator because my lungs were underdeveloped. As a result, I’ve had a lifetime of respitory problems involving pneumonia, bronchitis and chronic sinus issues.

  47. *refrains from making a mean comment to Alaskangirl*

    Also , thanks for the tip sensible

  48. @Pedantrix
    Pictures 1-29 probably play out like a horrifying, horrifying sexa flip-book.

    Jade, you stay classy.

    Very off-topic, but am I the only who noticed that lovely house behind tall guy and huge bitch in the first picture?

  49. @Dukeguy

    Google it, it’s not a conspiracy I promise. Smoking is extremely bad for a child in the womb. There are a ton of things that have been linked to smoking and pregnancy. It is just selfish.

  50. Lovely as in suburbia hell ?

  51. @everyone:

    I quote:
    “However, there have been no consistent
    findings of a pattern of birth defects associated with maternal smoking.”

    http://www.psychiatry.emory.edu/PROGRAMS/GADrug/Factsheets/facts%20about%20smoking%20during%20pregnancy.pdf

    I’m not sure on the veracity of the source, but it’s better than no source at all. I agree about premature birth, but meh – so what – kids are born premature all the time, doesn’t mean they’ll turn into forest gump – look at AlaskanGirl – she can type words and everything

  52. I want to know what the wrist tattooes say on the classy smoking pregnant girl.

  53. Being mentally handicapped and having respiratory issues aren’t even in the same ball park buddy

  54. @chicky_monkey – both are birth defects surely?

  55. @Father Sha

    Maybe… It has a castle-like quality, which may or may not host a Stepford Wife… but that could be the Sudafed talking.

  56. Hold on, I bought a secondhand mattress.

  57. Quebec, that’s funny.

  58. @DukeGuy Well, the evidence isn’t as strong, since they can’t link the smoking directly. If pregnant smoking results in more premature babies, and being prematurely born results in your lungs not being fully developed, then they will attribute the lung issues to being a preemie. It’s hard to show causality when it’s a string of causes.

    Any way, how hard is it for the 14-year-old to put the f’ing cigarette down??! Seriously, if you even thought it might cause issues, why wouldn’t you stop?

  59. @chicky_monkey – I totally agree, I guess I was playing devils advocate for a while there.. I mean, even if you do smoke – don’t show pictureso of you doing it while knocked-up.

    I don’t think that anything is going to help in regards to this this child being mentally handicapped, genetics goes a long way further than environmental influences ;)

  60. With a bed that small I’d just fuck on the floor (not that there’s room amongst all that shit in the pic).

    Seriously, my air mattress for camping is bigger than that bed.

  61. squirt happens.

    even if the child isnt getting harmed by the smoke, the mom is. and thats stupid enough

  62. For the last picture…That’s why I’m always on bottom. So BritishHobo doesn’t get his bum-sweat all over the sheets and duvet.

  63. I’m keep going back and listing all the classy things about the cigarette girl.

    Wrist tattooes. Wearing a rosary. The colored bra under the thin white shirt. The painted on blush. And from the color on the blurred area, really heavy eye make-up.

    And those are all before we reach the cigarette in her acrylicly manicured hand.

  64. The first one confuses me…
    Does he mean ‘A Huge Bitch’ as in a total bitch or as in fat? If it is the latter, I don’t see how..

  65. Farmville is a rural town outside Richmond, Virginia and that is Monument ave in Richmond,Virginia. Definitively not lame.

  66. How to you create that much fluid with a blow up doll? Actually it kinda looks like she is not longer in this life…really wierd.
    The prom pic…if he ment by “huge” that she was fat…he would have called her a “fat bitch” I think she dumped him at the prom so she is a huge bitch. Just saying…

  67. the first thing i thought when i saw the first pic was “barbie!” i know i had a dress just like that for my barbies when i was a kid. i didn’t know they made them in human sizes.

  68. *meant*

  69. dietpillpyramidscheme

    As I said earlier: it’s child abuse. Like heavy drinking during pregnancy.

    If a chemical is in the mother’s body, it’s in the child’s. As far as I’m aware, the fetus can’t order “take out” because it’s mother’s blood/oxygen/nutrient supply is polluted.

  70. The Frmville car person lives in my apartment building! Farmville is a real place not far from Richmond, Virginia (where that photo was taken — that intersection is off of Monument). My guess is that the plate refers to the town rather than the game.

  71. @ 32.RaRaSuperStar …..I’m surprised you haven’y had an offer to get you into that state again by somebody here! Who’s the biggest man-whore? Soup….or who?

    @ 57.SeeBea …..I’d get rid of it if I were you after seeing THAT pic!!

    62.BritishHobette ……. you don’t know what you missing with the control of riding yourself to orgasm ….. although missionary has it’s place.

  72. re: puddle of love photo

    That’s not even a real woman, lol wtf. It’s very obviously a sex doll (maybe a “Real Doll” since those things are as realistic as hell o_o). bahaha what a creep.

  73. @randomuser

    I’m the biggest manwhore here, but as long as I’m squirting, I don’t really care. Although it would be fun to go for distance records. “Oh, you almost hit the wall, I’m gonna have to put a dart board up or something.” Then I would wipe her up with a teddy bear and go back to playing Yahoo Pool.

  74. dancesforcookies

    @mcowles “too Vanilla for my ball gag”, Simply brilliant!

  75. Blow-up dolls have clenched fists, cheap bracelets, and the flaring of fat where their thigh is pressed against the bed? …Awesome.

  76. Silly questions. Unless he digs the anorexic look, she’s obviously not fat. She’s just an overwhelming twat. What kind of a shot is that? He can’t even hold her ’cause she’s got her look-at-me Superwoman pose going on.

  77. Hmm. I never got to experience the whole American prom thing. But judging from Lamebook posts… has anyone EVER had a good time at a prom?

    I saw an article the other day from some bitch talking about how amazing prom is and how everyeone should get one, because being crowned Prom Queen (as she was, back in her day) is the greatest feeling in the world. Which made me think, because at every prom, an average of roughly ONE girl in about thirty gets crowned prom queen. So apparently the one girl that gets attention all evening has a good time. Everyone else can fuck off and stop whining.

    …wait, what? Now I sound like a bitter teenage girl who had to go to a prom dateless, and was ignored all evening.

    The puddle of love is disgusting.

  78. @languorous.. I think he meant Huge as in, how much of a bitch she is. Not that she’s fat. She looks like a big bitch.

  79. @mccowles: we should meet.

  80. by meet, i mean possibly fuck.

  81. vaginassination too

  82. just my two cents on the smoking issue: as a psych major, I recently took a class in developmental psychology. Here is what my (very reputable) textbook has to say: “Nicotine is another teratogen. Maternal smoking increases the risk of miscarriage, premature birth, and low birth weight (Kirchengast & Hartmann, 2003). Due to secondhand smoke, regular tobacco use by fathers also has been linked to low infant birth weight and increased risk of respiratory infections (Wakefield et al., 1998).”

    textbook: Psychology: The Science of Mind and Behavior, Fourth Edition, by Passer and Smith (page 412)

  83. sorry, I hope that didn’t come off as snotty :/

  84. @BritishHobo not sure, the only prom I ever went to was the one for my old high school when I was a freshman in college. The prom just happened to be in the student union building at my university and I just happened to be drunk, so I decided to stop by. For some unknown reason my old history teacher just let me in without any question, and I spent about 10 minutes in there before I got bored and left. I remember music, lots of colored lights, and a bunch of people in fancy clothes they’d probably never wear again.

    It’s just your basic high school dance, except everyone gets all dressed up for it. It’s also apparently one of the preferred nights for teenage girls to get drunk and lose their virginity in the back of a rented limousine. So, if you missed the opportunity to attend prom, you might want to look into getting a job as a limo driver.

  85. I encouraged my wife to smoke and drink while pregnant. I didn’t want that little son of a bitch ruining her vagina. Sure, he came out looking like one of those stomach bursters from Alien, but the wife’s twat is tight as a drum.

  86. you have to be careful though, Soup; to many teratogens and you might end up with the thing from Eraserhead. It would ruin her vag AND probably cause you to lose your lunch…

  87. So Hollie says Jade doesn’t look that pregnant- she probably tells her that her arse doesn’t look big in those jeans either.

  88. Love a bit of Harvard Referencing on here

  89. Maybe Jade’s past due with triplets? Then, yeah, she doesn’t look that pregnant at all. Looks like the smoking worked for her in that regard.

  90. I am worried about the puddle of love and all the electrical cords and devices on the side of that tiny bed. How did they not get electrocuted?

  91. The huge bitch in the horrid Barbie dress didn’t even like that guy. The elbows akimbo is her way of getting him the fuck off of her. He obviously didn’t like her, either, but what guy doesn’t hope he’ll get laid on prom night? They probably each have an interesting story as to why they were desperate enough to go out with the other.

    @BritishHobo, I had fun at my prom. I brought a very handsome guy from another school, and had fun playing dress-up. My handsome date put his hand on my ass when we danced and caused a scandal. Afterwards, we had sex in his Volkswagon Thing until dawn. Good times!

    Oh, and I’ve definitely made “love puddles” like that in the past, but would I take a pic and share it on FB? NO.

  92. @katethecurst

    If we “met”, like you want… we would definitely have to change your name to katethecrust.

    If you want details, I can provide them.

  93. My wife is a squirter and makes the bed, kitchen table, washing machine, lounge floor, wherever, a lot like that, in mist cases its completely flooded, I dont understand how she can lose so much fluid and not be dehydrated afterwards. Its obvious most of the males here have just been pounding their fist to not know what a real wet spot looks like.

    Id say in the first pic call that gorgeous lass didnt make his night memorable lol

  94. Oh my god, he fucked the lamp!! It’s Fra-gee-lay, I really hope he didn’t break it.

  95. bellecamino!!! that was PURE WIN.

  96. “HEY EVERYBODY LOOK

    HEY

    HEY EVERYBODY

    EVERYBODY

    LOOK LOOK IM NOT A PATHETIC LOSER”

  97. I feel sorry for the guy in the first photo. the amount of money a guy has to spend to get to prom is insane especially when you’re still in high school. If that girl in the first photo can’t even put her arms around the guy just for the sake of having good pictures and appreciate him spending that much money, then she is a huge bitch. I mean she doesn’t even look like she wants to go.

    She also doesn’t seem like she put out in the end. But maybe her attitude changed after she got smashed.

  98. Chewbacca shagger

    The first guy should never take the piss out of anyone with huge freaking ears like that. He may as well be a ginger.

  99. Sick @ Puddle of Love.

  100. Prom Guy – Don’t sugar the pill mate, say what you really think!

  101. @ Sense: My mom was getting my brother(16) a new bed. Well when he was moving the old one out, he pulled off that little tag could could of thrown him in prison for removing, and it said it was a hotel bed from 1974!!!! He instantly started to puke! I laughed so hard I thought I was going to piss myself!

    The first one, How could you date someone so fat? They must of used a wide angle lens to fit them both in. I would be embarrassed to take somebody that big to my prom. She must of weighed at least 105 lbs….What an asshole!

    I must say, Richard looks hot in fishnets! In response to all you sex gods that chimed in, not every woman squirts. Some do, some don’t, everybody is wired differently. Just because you whacked it to a POV porn with girls that did, does not mean that made them do it. I am sickened by the fact that not only does Richard wax his legs, this “girl” knew that she was one of the few that did squirt,and did not lay a towel down. You know that bed HAS to stink to the high heavens! But that does not surprise me since she has enough class to post a picture like that on Facebook.

    Yeah it’s not everyday you see a pregnant 15 year old dropout that smokes. What shocks me about it is that she doesn’t have a beer in her hand.

  102. that could*

  103. I have to say, I love the fact that people keep thinking that “huge bitch” is referring to puffy dress girl’s weight.

  104. It could go either way really Jenny. He is pretty tall and looks like a total douche. Also, we don’t know her, she could be a total bitch. Myself, I was just throwing in a little comic relief for the simple minds.

  105. dietpillpyramidscheme

    The “huge” in “huge bitch” refers to how much of a bitch she is, not her weight..

    By all standards, the huge bitch is pretty hot.

  106. @dietpillpyramidscheme “By all standards, the huge bitch is pretty hot.” … by all standards? Like being 16 years old?

  107. @Pipster It looks like Monument and Robinson. I didn’t get the joke for a minute because I was thinking, “It’s just someone from Farmville. What’s funny about that?” Then it dawned on me.

  108. in the preggo girl pic, I think that the condition of the room behind her would cause more concern than the cig in her hand.

  109. that huge bitch comment – totally referring to the size of HER dick. strange thing is, he sounds proud of it too…

  110. lol

  111. kittylovesvodka

    the girl in the photo smoking…

    perhaps the photo caption said something along the lines of ‘gah I look pregnant’, and her friend was trying to be supportive?

    maybe.

  112. Once, so far…

  113. dietpillpyramidscheme

    Pirat3, someone who is going to a “prom” would probably be in their last year of schooling, making them conceivably 16 – 19 years old. There is a chance, that I too, may be within, or close to this age bracket, rendering my comment only marginally inappropriate.

  114. Maybe the pregnant chick is the girl from the prom later that year…

  115. The 15 year old pregnant middle school dropout smoking the cigarette is missing a 40 in the other hand.

  116. @23 mcowles
    too vanilla for my ball gaga :)

    @85 Soup
    Aww, you’re so considered.

  117. *gag even. Gah.

    And aww, look at Hollie being such a liar. Jade looks like she’s ready to pop.

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