1. I expected him to say something about Bella. Not simply because of his name, but also because he’s a self-absorbed douchenozzle who’s probly a virgin and also gay.
2. Where can I get a car like that? Seriously, I want a Lamborghini that turns into a Ferrari!
3. Speed of sound is 768 MPH, not 600, and I don’t think you would hear the boom if you created it. There’s that whole “going faster than sound” thing, after all.
Cursormortis = most sane person to post so far…
Edward’s story was moronic. As a comedic endeavour, it falls flat. And to Cursor’s other tidbits of realism, no one can bench 1200 lbs. The record is well, well below that.
I expect Edward is one of those overly outgoing individuals who think every girl wants them, whereas in fact girls are barely able to restrain themselves from vomiting whenever he is around. And not from his d!ck which couldn’t hit the back of their mouth by a good three inches.
Awwwww! The bugatti veyron isn’t made by Maserati. Its a Veyron. Hence the whole bugatti veyron’ thing. Also, the Bugatti can’t be driven anywhere. No insurance (unless you are a shiek) policy allows the bugatti.
Wow, about half of the comments on here are on the same level as the people in the lame book posts you make fun of. For those of you questioning his integrity and the validity of his story- you are retards. Clearly this was a joke, the changing cars was part of the joke. Mad2physicist, if you want to pass judgement on others, heres yours- i suspect you are a 120 pound loser (i am only 130, doesn’t mean you can’t be athletic, you are definitely not) in high school or college who is incapable of communicating with people anywhere that is further then arms reach from your key board, I suspect you are a virgin who abhors all those who made fun of you in school and probably still do. Of course he’s going to use ridiculous numbers, if he used thesible numbers (bench press record is around 1000 pounds btw) it would not be as clear that it was a joke, You say he’s probably one of those jerks who thinks every girl wants him, well i suspect you are one of those losers who thinks any sign of confidence is boarderline rape, which is why you remain a virgin. Now rather then judge and try and attack what was just a funny ass story that this dude made up, correcting people’s use of vocabulary, trying to improve funny things people say (whatever you normally do in the posts) why don’t you try actually living. The same for the rest of you whose only outlet is talking trash on this site, try doing those dumb things for once rather then just watching because being dumb is part of life.
Whoever wrote (regardless of whether it’s a copy+paste job) is obviously taking the piss. I for one found it pretty funny!
What is remarkable however is the amount of oblivious, pedantic numbnuts on here making comments like “The guy changed cars 4 times, let alone all the other BS” and “Speed of sound is 768 MPH, not 600″. Are you fuckwits really so clueless that you’re totally incapable of identifying a completely obvious piss take/joke??? Simpletons boggle my fucking mind, they really do…
I couldn’t care where this was copied from, it is fucking hilarious! Apologies if I don’t browse every single site on the web to capture everything first hand, thanks lamebook for letting me see this.
Oh and god(if s/he exists) help all the people who can’t see the blatant joke in this. It was blown up totally out of proportion to make it a totally obvious piss-take and you’re criticising the lack of realism? Seriously, jump off the first tall building you find. Now.
I only registered to say @ jonjones:I love you! I totally agree with everything you said! But since I’m here, I gotta say I totally LOVED this totally exagerated manbullshit story. I would like to here Senjogahara side of the story!
So after the caviar-based working lunch I had with my lawyer colleagues in the Hilton I had a few spare minutes so I arranged for my personal trainer to take a few minutes out of his day working with Jolie and Portman to come and tone my abs and thighs, and I don’t mean by jogging with me. After the three-hour debauchery that ensued I put the bills on my American Airlines card which they gave me for flying ten billion miles (they threw a party on the plane for me on that flight, so I had more caviar and lots of champagne at $10,000/bottle while I was flying to Darfur to save the world, but that’s another story). My nymphomania still wasn’t satiated, so I rang up this loveable rogue I know who promised to come over (although he misinterpreted and with his 29 inch dick came over the house, rather than TO the house, but I digress). I was in the middle of a game of scrabble when I heard the sonic boom of his impending arrival, followed shortly by the sound of a Ducatti exploding and the giant bonsai I have outside getting splintered to all hell (it’s gonna be costly to replace, in the region of a few million, since I had it imported from a shrine in the Tibetan mountains which is guarded by yetis, but it’s ok, I’ll put it on my card). As the explosion rocked the house all the scrabble tiles landed facing upwards spelling out the words “There’s a fine line between success and sucks ass,” which I ignored since I live such a successful and fulfilled life. As I opened the door, Ed rolled up to me without a scratch. We fucked all afternoon and then he came over the house. I explained that since he’d now ruined my tree AND my house I was gonna hold onto his MV Augusta as collateral. He didn’t seem worried and rode off on his Borile. Then I finished my caviar lunch and went back to work. I solved the case with a unique angle nobody had thought of yet and set a legal precedent for corporate law. Later I solved the unifying theory of everything reconciling quantum mechanics and special relativity, before my caviar lunch and a six hour work-out, but that’s another story.