Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Feel the Love

previous post: Classy Acts

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66 Comments

  1. Ohhh.. I love a good dose of Facebook Drama in the afternoon. :)

  2. LOOOL!!!!! (:

  3. I’m with Tyler on this one. Jessica does seem like a drama sponge

  4. Oh, Tyler. If only you included g’s on the end of your words.

  5. 4th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. damn :(

  7. Jessica seems like the type of girl that would… hmmm, slip a bit of “bad stuff” to her 2 month old, in order to make her sick and need to be in the hospital, in order to get Tyler to come visit and “maybe stay”.

  8. Danielle sounds as crazy as jessica… words to live by, dont nut in a bitch thats nuts

  9. Damn, John voluntarily cuts off his own testicles so that he’d even be capable of mentioning they’d been together for 17 months (seriously, what guy remembers dates like that other than the actual anniversary, much less announces them in public?), and Danielle goes all grammatically-challenged-psychopath on him. John, I hope you kept your balls in a safe deposit box or something, because it’s time to go pick them up and dump that crazy bitch.

  10. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    Does anyone understand the Samantha one? I’m confused?

    Jessica needs a swift kick to the buttock!

  11. Haha, poor Tyler.

    But I don’t get what’s lame about the first one?

  12. Sounds like samantha got knocked up with a new guy before she even divorced her husband… and she doesnt even know if she is going to marry the new guy… this is why a gal needs a party boy

  13. bollywood_rocks83

    Could someone clarify Samantha’s? It seems she and Dakoda are married from the thing then she got knocked up by someone else. Dakoda seems to take it in stride and advises her of potential polyandry?

    I feel sorry for Tyler. Sadly though, even if he leaves, he still has to deal with all that drama for the next 18. Good luck,Tyler! and next time use a condom!

  14. My guess is Samantha and Dakoda have been broken up for quite some time but just never actually got divorced. It happens sometimes when two people want to get divorced but have no particular assets to fight over. I knew some people who stayed married for like two years after they broke up because they couldn’t afford the court fees to make it official. They only finally went through with it when one of them wanted to get remarried.

  15. Dana sounds like she’s been watching Dr Phil.

    That piece of convoluted garbage/advice sounds exactly like something he’d say.

  16. Oh, please. Dakoda was doomed from the start. It’s a misspelled girl’s name anyway. (I say this because in my limited personal experience, I’ve never met a male named Dakota, except as a last name)

    Seriously, what the shit is up with these spellings of names? Bryttini? Dakoda? Part of me hopes that these people came up with these dumbass spellings themselves…but part of me hopes that the only reason they use them is that their cruel, evil, parents stuck them with these awful names.

  17. @bollywood_rocks83 polyandry … v nice!

  18. Hooooooly shit.

    It’s… too much… to take…
    *head explodes*

  19. Seventeen months? Really? Fuck you.

  20. WHERE THE HELL DO THESE PEOPLE COME FROM???
    It’s like all the gene pool’s biggest floaters got screen-captured on FB in the same day.
    WOW. I am starting to understand why certain friends of mine won’t come to Lamebook for fear of losing their faith in humanity altogether.

  21. I think Samantha and Dakoda are married lesbos but that Samantha got knocked up by a married dude.

  22. Totally un-fun guess here, but I’m betting Dakoda is Samantha’s girl-friend and they just joke about “being married” because they “love each other soooooo much omg” and because they think it makes them cuter and girlier to have in-jokes like this. I know lots of women who do inane shit like this.

    Mostly, I think this because my brain would explode if I even considered that a) a woman named her male child Dakoda, and b) he didn’t feel inspired to legally change his name to something more masculine or at least socially acceptable once he came of age.

  23. I don’t have time for all these relationship dramas.
    I’m not in a good mood this morning.

    I’ll leave it to you lot to sort this one.

  24. awww, whats wrong your highness? need me to cum on your tummy?

  25. I love you Tyler.

  26. slim, that’s an offer I would never normally refuse, but semen is not what I need right now.

  27. Credit to Chris for having the sheer balls to call his wife out on posting stuff on Facebook while he has his secret life I ignorantly know nothing about.

  28. Is anyone going to point out the blatant homosexual drama happening in the first one?

  29. Toodles – Austin is a woman’s name too.

  30. holy fuck danielle… at least he remembered you had an anniversary. stfu
    turkeyvulture- i agree. i’ve had annoying friends that do that.

    wordpervert- hope your day gets better. it’s just not the same here without your witty remarks. :-(

  31. Tell ‘em, Tyler.

    Considering it’s all dudes mentioned in the first one, why don’t we label it gay and call it a day? Any parents to name a girl “Austin” clearly wishes she was a boy.

  32. What? I’ve never heard of a woman named Austin. That’s an ugly name for a dame.

  33. Isn’t it? Apparently “Dustin” is a name for ladies, too. Sad.

  34. sorry word… you know id hook you up with what you need if I could… hope your day gets better

  35. Austin-sibly ambiguous names aside, what IS particularly lame about the first one?
    Isn’t he just pissed off because he got cheated on, or am I missing something?

  36. 1UP Tyler

  37. I think I’m the only one who has this theory.
    In the first one, Dakoda is a girl. You know how girls jokingly marry each other on facebook? I think that’s the deal… I don’t think Dakoda is a guy and that they’re together…

  38. Oops nevermind– TurkeyVulture got there first. C:

  39. CommentsAtLarge

    Pish posh everyone; it’s common knowledge that FB is the BEST place to work out your deeply personal issues. I mean, c’mon, how can you really improve the state of your marriage without the opinion of everyone you know – including the guy you were kind of friends with in high school that stumbled across you on FB and friended you randomly.

  40. Agreed with everyone who is saying Samantha and Dakoda are “married.” Come on, folks. Dakoda isn’t calling Samantha a cheating whore and Samantha is also being very civil. That never happens on Lamebook!

    Also, although I’m sure they are doing this to disgust people, am I the only one is extremely grossed out by every conversation between wordpervert and slimjayz?

  41. JacksSmirkingRevenge

    Samantha’s little situation is like something straight off a Jerry Springer episode… I’m super confused.

  42. Yes, Vlamenni. You are the only one.

  43. It must have been two-for-one day at the exclamation point store when Jessica posted that status. I love that Tyler told her off. I wanted to, for the exclamation points, alone.

  44. Siding with Tyler. I hate people like Jessica.

  45. Tyler FOR THE WIN! I know where your coming from man. My ex is just as crazy. Oddly enough she has the same name too.Now that I think about it, every Jessica I know is a nut job. But anyway, she used to try this same ole drama bullshit. Talking about how I never help with my daughter and I just do nothing but lay on my ass. When in all reality, IT’S THE OTHER WAY AROUND! Now everybody is finally realizing it after we split and I’m the one with OUR daughter who she never makes an attempt to see. If I recall correctly it’s been about 6 or 7 times in a year now.

    Look at me ramble. Now I’m the one putting drama out there.

  46. Oh, hey, HeSaidWhat, my name is Jessica. :(
    And I’m a good mum! And my husband is lucky I’m so nice and let him sleep at night when he has work, even though I could be bitchy and wake him when our daughter cries. I’m just nice like that. Don’t judge all us Jessica’s at once.~

  47. Oh Digi you’re taking it all wrong girl. I said all the Jessica’s I have met. I am a firm believer in don’t judge a book by it’s cover.

    Your husband sounds like a lucky man. I know it’s not easy either. You’re talking to a single parent here.(A proud one I might add). My daughter is 2 1/2 and she still wakes up occasionally a little scared from whatever. But you know, you just don’t think twice about it. You just make them feel better. :)

  48. Ditto eyeheartbrains, Vlamenniyou’re the only one. Word and Slim are sexy :-)

    Thanx to all of you, the comments today made me laugh like hell- I don’t bother with the actual posts anymore, they are only good for comments… and also to run for my life if I ever meet anyone named Bryttani, Dakota, Mishka, Ben…

  49. Whenever my friends come up pregnant I have to say that Jane Roe weeps but Norma McCorvey cheers. I am a good friend.

  50. HAH: “You drama lovin piece of fucking shit. And u wonder why I left your nutty ass.” Seriously applicable to almost every relationship related status posted here.

  51. Fair enough. I shall graciously accept my defeat.

  52. @Vlamenni

    You’re going to give up that easily? Fight for your beliefs! Be strong in your conviction that internet spooge is just as nasty as real life spunk. Battle to protect the sanctity of textual virginity.

    The only way broadband should contribute to sex is when it finally binds the hungry girl’s stomach, and allows her to be the stick thin woman that we men appreciate.

  53. Whoa Vlam, I disgust you? I just saw that. You need some lovin’? I’m very accommodating.

    If you think slim and I are gross, you haven’t been witness to some of my other trysts.
    Soup will vouch for that I’m sure.

    But you know what, as they say in the classics, frankly my dear I don’t give a damn.

  54. I will vouch for the visually horrifying things that happen when Word and I get together. You ever see the movie Scanners? When that dude’s head explodes? When our crotches join, the outcome is an explosion of lots of viscous material.

  55. True story that one.

  56. @Vlam, sorry your russian sensibilities are offended, but their menage a trois is funny…

    @Soup, would like to test your diet out. Where can I sign up?

  57. I love you word…I want you to have my babies…

  58. lol

  59. Its the fucking Beatles

    Fucking bollocksing hell! WHY FACEBOOK WHY? And the fuckers are breeding. Shit, we’re doomed as a society.

    Cybering on Lamebook? Meh, it could be worse. It could be those fuckers involved in the posts having their dramas in the comments box instead. Think about it.

  60. Dakoda is a guy and is legally married to Samantha. She moved to SoCal and is freeloading off another guy and got knocked up.

  61. The guy she got knocked up by thinks they’re going to get married. But, she cheated on him before with Dakota.

  62. Austin is a guy, I know both of them. Gay couple yo.

  63. Brilliant!
    -Gods investment in you (His son!) was SO great, he could never abandon you!-

  64. No, it is not brilliant. Not even a little bit.
    -How considerate, he sacrificed his kid to save my life. Is that like using a kid as a bullet shield?

  65. someone got a little distracted by the repeater….
    that’ll happen…

  66. Actually, I’m leaning towards the second one being about a baby. Babymomma’s mad because babydaddy “don’t buy no pampers & wipes” and then he tries to be all “look, I remembered our kid’s birthday” and she’s all “you’re a day off, jerkwad”.

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