Jessica seems like the type of girl that would… hmmm, slip a bit of “bad stuff” to her 2 month old, in order to make her sick and need to be in the hospital, in order to get Tyler to come visit and “maybe stay”.
Damn, John voluntarily cuts off his own testicles so that he’d even be capable of mentioning they’d been together for 17 months (seriously, what guy remembers dates like that other than the actual anniversary, much less announces them in public?), and Danielle goes all grammatically-challenged-psychopath on him. John, I hope you kept your balls in a safe deposit box or something, because it’s time to go pick them up and dump that crazy bitch.
My guess is Samantha and Dakoda have been broken up for quite some time but just never actually got divorced. It happens sometimes when two people want to get divorced but have no particular assets to fight over. I knew some people who stayed married for like two years after they broke up because they couldn’t afford the court fees to make it official. They only finally went through with it when one of them wanted to get remarried.
Oh, please. Dakoda was doomed from the start. It’s a misspelled girl’s name anyway. (I say this because in my limited personal experience, I’ve never met a male named Dakota, except as a last name)
Seriously, what the shit is up with these spellings of names? Bryttini? Dakoda? Part of me hopes that these people came up with these dumbass spellings themselves…but part of me hopes that the only reason they use them is that their cruel, evil, parents stuck them with these awful names.
WHERE THE HELL DO THESE PEOPLE COME FROM???
It’s like all the gene pool’s biggest floaters got screen-captured on FB in the same day.
WOW. I am starting to understand why certain friends of mine won’t come to Lamebook for fear of losing their faith in humanity altogether.
Totally un-fun guess here, but I’m betting Dakoda is Samantha’s girl-friend and they just joke about “being married” because they “love each other soooooo much omg” and because they think it makes them cuter and girlier to have in-jokes like this. I know lots of women who do inane shit like this.
Mostly, I think this because my brain would explode if I even considered that a) a woman named her male child Dakoda, and b) he didn’t feel inspired to legally change his name to something more masculine or at least socially acceptable once he came of age.
I think I’m the only one who has this theory.
In the first one, Dakoda is a girl. You know how girls jokingly marry each other on facebook? I think that’s the deal… I don’t think Dakoda is a guy and that they’re together…
Pish posh everyone; it’s common knowledge that FB is the BEST place to work out your deeply personal issues. I mean, c’mon, how can you really improve the state of your marriage without the opinion of everyone you know – including the guy you were kind of friends with in high school that stumbled across you on FB and friended you randomly.
Agreed with everyone who is saying Samantha and Dakoda are “married.” Come on, folks. Dakoda isn’t calling Samantha a cheating whore and Samantha is also being very civil. That never happens on Lamebook!
Also, although I’m sure they are doing this to disgust people, am I the only one is extremely grossed out by every conversation between wordpervert and slimjayz?
Tyler FOR THE WIN! I know where your coming from man. My ex is just as crazy. Oddly enough she has the same name too.Now that I think about it, every Jessica I know is a nut job. But anyway, she used to try this same ole drama bullshit. Talking about how I never help with my daughter and I just do nothing but lay on my ass. When in all reality, IT’S THE OTHER WAY AROUND! Now everybody is finally realizing it after we split and I’m the one with OUR daughter who she never makes an attempt to see. If I recall correctly it’s been about 6 or 7 times in a year now.
Look at me ramble. Now I’m the one putting drama out there.
Oh, hey, HeSaidWhat, my name is Jessica.
And I’m a good mum! And my husband is lucky I’m so nice and let him sleep at night when he has work, even though I could be bitchy and wake him when our daughter cries. I’m just nice like that. Don’t judge all us Jessica’s at once.~
Oh Digi you’re taking it all wrong girl. I said all the Jessica’s I have met. I am a firm believer in don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
Your husband sounds like a lucky man. I know it’s not easy either. You’re talking to a single parent here.(A proud one I might add). My daughter is 2 1/2 and she still wakes up occasionally a little scared from whatever. But you know, you just don’t think twice about it. You just make them feel better.
Ditto eyeheartbrains, Vlamenniyou’re the only one. Word and Slim are sexy
Thanx to all of you, the comments today made me laugh like hell- I don’t bother with the actual posts anymore, they are only good for comments… and also to run for my life if I ever meet anyone named Bryttani, Dakota, Mishka, Ben…
I will vouch for the visually horrifying things that happen when Word and I get together. You ever see the movie Scanners? When that dude’s head explodes? When our crotches join, the outcome is an explosion of lots of viscous material.
Actually, I’m leaning towards the second one being about a baby. Babymomma’s mad because babydaddy “don’t buy no pampers & wipes” and then he tries to be all “look, I remembered our kid’s birthday” and she’s all “you’re a day off, jerkwad”.