Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Farmville Follies

previous post: Merry Mary

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65 Comments

  1. My favorite quote of this is ‘to get back to nature’ made me LOL.

  2. farmville is lame but not as lame as porking a porker. fat chicks shouldn’t breed and pass on their fat genes.

  3. Fat chicks usually wear out their fat jeans before they can pass them onto their children.

  4. the only reason to lay a fat girl is if she’s a training lay. but even then….

  5. I commune with nature by watching clips of Green Acres on YouTube, but Jessie’s method of playing Farmville sounds like a pretty good idea too.

  6. looooool he finks hes bein cleva calin her a cow n sain shes fat n he oveusly porked her so he werse for fuckin her flabflaps loooooooool

  7. YOINK!

  8. Yoink! I fink you’re thucking awesome.

  9. fanks dude or dudet

  10. krasivaya_devushka

    I never played Farmville and I also blocked the application because I got sick of seeing it on my news feed every second. Then there was Petsville or whatever? Yeah, that went on the block list, too.

  11. dont forget yoville, frontierville, mafiaville, queerville, etc

  12. Hey Yoink, how was work? Any crazy carpenter shit go on?

  13. farmvils gay man if u wana be a farma then do it proberly put on them rubba welis an get ur hans dirty n rownd a propa cow tit not sit on a com an pratend ta plant stuf an make fayke monee!!!!

  14. work was long man staid late an finised a job so can hav tomora of tho so it al good made a counter fing so borin loooool yous katy?

  15. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Apparently Yoink just logged in and so did I. Anybody have any more “theories”?

    And hey Yoink how are you doing? You rule man.

  16. krasivaya_devushka

    @dukey,

    You must be him and I must be you! lol

  17. Wow, yoink, you really do like cows. I think you’re amazing for this.

  18. I used to play farmville, I really see nothing that lame about these posts.

    Jessie’s complaint is valid. It takes real money to do anything in the game now. Which is ridiculous because it is a stupid facebook application.

    But his “getting back to his roots” thing just isn’t crazy enough on its own.

  19. Lol Jessie… and I’m a world class soccer player… on FIFA 10.

  20. Still here… got another 2 hours before I can head home. Made a counter, eh? Use that MDF? :)

  21. So that’s what getting back to nature is these days…I’ve never played a game on facebook, and I never will. I don’t get why people can’t use facebook for what it’s meant to be used for…Then again, we wouldn’t have Lamebook, so i shouldn’t complain.

    Yoink, you’re my hero.

  22. wat u do katy? na dint use mdf made it outta brazilan hardwood it lot stonger that way sum peples neva happi tho

  23. krasivaya_devushka

    @wonderbread, I’m glad I’m not the only one!

  24. I am a paralegal. I assume not nearly as much fun as a carpenter. Who wouldn’t want to play with wood all day hahha

    Brazilian hardwood, eh? What are your feelings on bamboo flooring? Just got some and it seems to get marked up pretty easily.

  25. Yoink for presseydant

  26. it scraches wel qwick but al wood dus relly wood floorins a pain in the ass ta be onist an if u spil anfink the slats can lift best tipe ta get tho is timber hardwood on floors an bamboo r the werst for scraches

  27. that dunt reed to wel mean timbers the best of bad bunch but ne tipe of hardwood or bamboo u hav most problims wiv

  28. Greeeat. So, area rugs it is.

    So, Sir yoinkalot, what do you mean by timbers? Is it a type of wood? Other than that, the info up there is actually quite interesting, so thank you!

  29. Yoink – tell me more about your hardwood?

  30. Yoink should be on Lamebook posts. Please submit your Facebook wall posts

  31. timber is a tipe of wood yeh katy its egspensiv but al good wood is ya best to get american hardwood or brazilan for a counter or anyfink thats not guna be ovaused ya betta wiv softa wood on the floor an darka culers sho up scraches more so ya betta wiv a liter color but be relly carful not to spil stuf on any floor wiv wood can take a bit but if u do to much or get a flood ur fucked

  32. y stephen?

  33. yoink – I’ve heard that American hardwood has the tip of each log cut off, whereas European hardwood usually has a big ol’ tip. Can you, as a guy who handles a lot of wood, clarify for me?

  34. i dunt get u dan? u dont cut the tip of the log u use as much of it as u can an the wood anit a log wen i get it its bin prosesd bifor

  35. yoink – from what I’ve heard, women tend to prefer the American hardwood because it is cut properly and cleaner. From what I’ve heard, the European woods can be dirty and smell bad. I’m not a woodsman, so I’m not sure if this is accurate.

  36. oh u talkin bowt dicks dan? y u hitin on me? ud like that woodnt u u racest prik bein homifobic then tryin to find out bowt my dik? try sortin urs out befor u ask over peple bowt theres they can do a lota plastic surjry these dais but i recimend wiv one as smal as urs u jus get a sex chang u woodnt evan miss it considrin roses hav got biga thorns than ur dick

  37. Well there goes 5 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Everything about this is lame.

  38. yoink – No, I’m talking about wood. I was under the impression that you were a carpenter. If you are, that’s a noble career choice. Our lord and savior was also a carpenter

  39. ur not talkin bowt wood i anit stuped

  40. krasivaya_devushka

    Ok, neeeeext.

  41. yeah dan, listen to yoink. He’s smart!

  42. @Wonderbread – based on his spelling and grammar, yoink is probably a Mensa member. It’s a wonder that he works as a wood handler and not as something more mentally challenging

  43. i anit a wood handler freekalina im a carpenter get ur fact rite u incontnant dickpin

  44. all right, lets all stop picking on yoink already. Both of these posts were sorta lame, though getting back to nature made me laugh. IS she for real?

  45. krasivaya_devushka

    Just because his spelling is bad doesn’t mean that he’s stupid or that he can’t have a smart conversation.
    So dan_fargis, stop it right now and put some periods at the end of your sentences.

  46. The last one would be funny if Jessie’s profile pic included a gas-guzzling SUV, a pelican covered in oil, or a pile of rubber tires burning. Otherwise, “getting back to nature” is cute, but not amusing beyond that.

  47. Hey yoink, I’m looking to make a javelin. What kind of wood would you recommend? Also, could I commission you to make said javelin? I need to throw it at Dan_fargis.

  48. i dunno bowt makin javlins an wat wood be best but i def fink u shud do it an make it in the shap of a giyant cock so then wen he has his funral in a cerch his preest and al his religus frends wil be told he got kild by bein penitrated by a giyant cock an he wil lose his credabilty

  49. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Lol Yoink wins.

  50. Damn, yoink, on a roll. That is probably the best idea I’ve seen in a while.

    “He was penetrated mercilessly, and the giant cock pierced him too deeply. He couldn’t handle all that wood.”

  51. yay for yoink!
    really, everything he says makes sense and isn’t stupid, he just spells like he talks.
    i dig it.
    dan eat a dick.

  52. ohbabybaby – You’d like to watch me “eat a dick” I’m sure. However, I must decline your offer, as I prefer not to have my soul suffer in eternal damnation

  53. CommentsAtLarge

    If Dan eats a dick, is it cannibalism?

  54. not unless the dick is Spencer Pratt.

  55. CommentsAtLarge

    @teo

    Calling that guy a dick is an insult to dicks.

  56. Good point. Shall we downgrade to a cast member of Jersey Shore, or is that still going a bit too far?

  57. CommentsAtLarge

    Nah, spray paint him orange and he’ll fit right in.

  58. ok, I hereby edit Comment No. 54 to read “not unless the dick is The Situation”

  59. CommentsAtLarge

    I second that, motion passes. Welcome to the Jersey Shore Dan.

  60. Here’s your complimentary bottle of hair gel, and the tanning booths are down the hall, third door on the left. Just be sure to get in before midnight when that 10% tax goes into effect.

  61. yoink, you are my all time favorite Lamebook poster.
    dan_fargis you are my least favorite.

  62. Eric = win + fail

  63. haha dan I knew you were a troll!!! :D

  64. Ok, @dan_fargis
    I’ve been going back through the archives, and you seem incapable of saying anything that isn’t senseless, tasteless, stupid or just plain inconceivably idiotic. And as such, I have taken it upon myself to make this account and try to remedy the few that I can stand reading without vomiting. Beginning here.
    Grow the hell up! What is wrong with you?
    “fat chicks shouldn’t breed and pass on their fat genes.” What? So you’re not going to hell eh? You take a very liberal view on who or what is going to be in ‘eternal damnation’. Who gets to decide? You or God? Because if it’s not you, then I’d be a touch worried if I were you.

    “the only reason to lay a fat girl is if she’s a training lay. but even then….”
    I have a question for you. If there like some switch you throw that changes you from a bible-bashing, beatified, righteous jerk into a degenerate, wanton, absolute tool?
    So much for avoiding Hell. If you feel so strongly that there is one.
    Hebrews 13:4 God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.
    1 Thess 4:3 God wants you to be holy and completely free from sexual immorality
    1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
    And of course, ‘Do not commit adultery’.
    I could literally go on for about a week, there are quotes left right and centre about having sex before marriage, and with people you’re not married to… and you’re talking about practicing on other people? What the hell?

    And you’re one to talk about spelling and grammar, if Jesus is God, then doesn’t He at least deserve a capital letter for Lord and Saviour? And try capitals at the beginning of sentences. I could sift for hours through the mire of your posts and fill volumes with your own errors, so perhaps best to take the plank out of your own eye before taking the speck out of your brother’s eh?

    And what’s with the creepy double entendres? And no, its a bit late to claim an interest in woodworking, not with posts like that. If you’re going to use double entendres, at least be classy about them, don’t talk about cutting the tips of logs. Wow.

  65. @dansatool

    Are you kidding me? You’re saying you’ve been reading dan_fargis’s posts for awhile now, and you STILL think this is him? I’m not one hundred percent positive, but it appears obvious that this is someone else with the same name. The grammer mistakes, the lack of political spewage, not one quote from the bible?? This is NOT the dan_fargis we all know and laugh it. It’s just a shame that these were the comments that broke the proverbial back for you. :(

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