Friday, February 19, 2010

FANtastic Friday (part 1)

previous post: Use Your Head

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61 Comments

  1. Ben! The fan entries usually suck. No exception here.

  2. I hate it more when you sit on your balls, oof

  3. i wonder how many paranoid schizophrenic ravioli lovers there are on facebook

  4. Wow. I seriously LOL’ed on the schizophrenic ravioli lover. Priceless.

  5. Kristen is a scary bitch.

  6. @orinincadenza – you should start a fb group and see…

  7. Hah. All of them made me laugh. Well, except the Kristen one. The only thing lame about that is the fact that she fanned Twilight. :/

  8. I wonder what will happen when the ravioli starts staring at her.

  9. Kristen sounds like a real winner. And by “real winner” I mean a complete loser.

  10. I might just be wantin’ a bagel with my coffee.

  11. @MikeyMike

    Seriously, her status could read “everything I like sucks”

  12. Maybe it’s Chef Boyardee on the label staring at her. He does have a very intense look on the Beefaroni can.

  13. Am I the only one who thinks it’s time to break off the engagement when one member of the couple gets sent to prison? I mean, if you’re planning on spending the rest of your life with someone (in theory), shouldn’t incarceration be a deal breaker?

    But then, there are people who intentionally seek out convicted felons in prison to marry, so what the hell do I know.

  14. Is there a procedure where guys can get their balls lifted?

    Has Kristen considered suicide?

    And the one about “your Mum is a whore” is a total knock off of Sean Connery in SNL’s Jeopardy. “What’s the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One’s a sick duck and I can’t remember the rest but you’re mother’s a whore.” Fail.

  15. Ohhhh, man. The “CHEF BOYARDEE stop fucking staring at me, bitch!” bitch killed me, y’all. She’s a fan of canned spaghetti, so the Chef’s probably the only one NOT giving her dirty looks.

  16. I imagine her entire house to be stacked with can upon can upon can of ravioli. Building a FORTRESS of canned ravioli. Because THEY’RE ALL STARING AT HER.

  17. If you hate it when you balls get stuck to your legs, quit shaving your legs and balls. Duh.

  18. @nashntth

    Hey, you gotta manscape for chics these days… Im sure there are some betty rubble bitches out there that likes a hairy guy and probably get a weird kick out of picking pubes out of their mouth… But if you want chics to get freaky then you gotta take care of your bad bad (If gals have gud gud we have bad bads right?)

  19. That last girl clearly has issues. Either she’s paranoid, or she’s just dumb. Or maybe there is in fact a fucking reason for why people are staring at her!

  20. My theory is everyone’s staring at the last chick because she has horrendous acne from eating all that chef boyardee crap.

  21. Definitely have to manscape the bad bad Slimjayz. Nashntth doesn’t get laid that often I’m guessing.

  22. ThinkingInPictures

    @spinach dip – Whether or not the chef’s staring is an issue really depends on which way she has the cans facing. Chef Boyardee always did have that kinda smug “you know you want my ravioli” expression… http://www.wisynco.com/files/u1/ChefBoyardee.jpg

    And basically, I think what Kristen is trying to tell me is that I should hope we never, ever have any reason to interact with one another.

  23. That look in the Chef’s eyes could go either way. “You know you want my ravioli” or “I know what you did, there, lady. Better start building a bunker out of my cans for when the People come.”

  24. I’m so joining the “your mom is a whore” group lol

  25. I can already tell I hate Kristen. I don’t need to know anything else about her.

  26. Yes guys, manscape your bad bad.

    That’s what I got out of this conversation, and it’s true.

  27. I’m liking the bad bad. Manscaping is good, keep it up boys. Let’s leave the 70′s bush where it belongs.

    Chef Boyardee brings back some childhood memories, as I recall the can never freaked me out. But what do I know, I was 6.

  28. Why is everyone assuming Schizo-ardee is a girl? Could be a dude.

    I’m surprised there are that many STOP STARING AT ME OMG groups on FB. Maybe (s)he made them all.

  29. @27

    You could be right. My ex was that way. He always thought was staring at him, or worse–me. Either way, it gave him an excuse to want to kick someone’s ass. Bad times.

  30. Maybe its the chic from the commercial where the chef boyardee can follows her home from the grocery store… That would trip me the fuck out

  31. Are you staring at my headgear?

    Oh, and Kristen is quite obviously a contrarian.

  32. LMFAO@ slimjayz. I totally forgot about that commercial. Could be a possibility.

  33. slimjayz, that is the best comment I’ve ever seen.

  34. They’re probably all staring at her giant ass after she ate all that canned spaghetti!

  35. I love the word slut, bad I know, being a girl and all, it’s very disrespectful to my fellow sisters.

    But fuck it, I use it in a sentence at least 3 times a day.

  36. krasivaya_devushka

    What’s the point of joining all these groups? To prove that you exist? Ha ha.
    My friend joins like 50 groups in a day; I’m not even kidding! It is so annoying going to the home tab & seeing “So & so joined such and such group” and 30 others.
    Hahaha!

  37. Schitzo ravioli lovers FTW!

    @34.wordpervert – I’m a girl and I use slut in my everyday language too! It’s a fantastic word!

  38. **schizo

  39. @ word and becky

    I use sluts too :)

  40. Yes becky, it has such a wonderful economy… so much summed up by saying so little.

    And slim, I would have expected nothing less from you ol’ boy.

  41. I don’t know why, but this entire entry made me laugh really, really hard. It started out kinda funny and weird, and then crescendoed into outright recockulousness.

    I want to find this Boyardee kid and STARE at him so hard.

  42. I think Chef Boyardee Crazy is a girl because I don’t know many guys who would join groups that call people “bitches” and threaten to slap people.

  43. Kristen joined those at the same time because she thought it’d be funny to do it then send it to Lamebook. Let’s be honest – the people who become fans of random things, make what they *think* are funny comments on other peoples’ stuff, etc. then submit it thinking they’re hilarious are the “Lame” parts of the submissions.

    Also, I’m guessing the “staring” person probably joined all of them on purpose to show how lame it is that so many of those groups exist at all. At least I hope that’s why…

  44. You stockpiling spaghetti, gr_on23? You’re really paranoid. WHY IS EVERYONE STARING AT YOU?

  45. K, so I seem to be awaiting moderation. What I was trying to say was: @ wordpervert, beckyboo, and slimjayz: I’m okay with “slut,” but I’m a particular fan of the word “c*nt,” both as a reference to female genitalia and as a reference to people with unpleasant dispositions. Most often, it’s “c*nt-faced b*tch.” Embrace “c*nt” people!! And I don’t mean “can’t.”

  46. I’ve been known to use that one too, Anna, usually while driving.

  47. my new fav thanks to lamebook is c*nt puncher

    And I think you gals misunderstood… I dont say sluts much… I use sluts :)

  48. Nickelback + Twilight + Sarah Palin + Glenn Beck x Kristen = C*nt-faced b*tch

  49. Kristen, Kristen, Kristen… Somebody needs to slap some sense into this girl…

  50. Aye slimjayz, I got it. However, if you call me slut in the mobile unit, the deal is off. Sometimes I would like to punch the good good of a c*unt-faced b*tch.

  51. @slimjayz –

    bad bad FTW!!!

  52. Haha I’m not paranoid… just perhaps too easily irritated. I should let these things go, eh?

  53. @gr_on23, I tell myself the same thing many times a day….

  54. The last one is my absolute favorite.

  55. At lunch time the bell calls,
    spaghetti and meatballs,
    for you and for me,
    from Chef Boyardee!

    Oh, why do I remember this stuff? :D

  56. @_supergirl_ Kristen is a God. Nickelback, Twilight, Sarah Palin, and Glenn Beck; that’s so much fail it’s obvious-win.

  57. What the fack is nickelback?

    Who the feck is Glenn Beck?

    Why the fock did I come out from under my rock?

  58. It’s kind of strange to be cooking chicken legs and meat balls at the same time, esapashally in the same pot. But when I am cooking me up some chicken leg and meatball spaghetti sauce I find that a good way to keep them from getting stuck together is UNDERWEAR…

  59. Can someone explain the first one to me?? I don’t get it… :\

  60. Somebody made the group I see and there are already 8 members so psycho spaghetti girl/guy is not alone.

  61. The last one probably was lousy at staring contests.
    But at one point I did expect to find a “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin’ to? You talkin’ to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” in there.

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