That’s just silly, you can’t possibly turn a basement into a bong. A room full of people wouldn’t have a fraction of the lung power required to fill an entire room with smoke. Even if he used some form of motorized pumping system, by the time the smoke made it through the tube, it’d be stale and choke anyone who came near it. Dude should have started small with a closet or something. I know it’s not real, but at least base it on a reasonable concept.
Too lazy to come up with anything intricate, but just wanted to see how you are faring. How are the children? Last I heard little Jack had broken his arm while you were fording the river. Sorry to hear this. As I write this, you should be about 59 miles from the nearest Landmark, with substantial weight in food. How many Bison have you typed to death so far? It’s only been two fortnight but it sure feels a lot longer. My eldest, Andy, had the measles and succumbed to her injuries. We gave her a right burial and I even made her a grave. If you pass by it, please remember to visit his grave. It’s marked “Here lies Andy, peperony and chease.”
Me and Becky did it simply for the lulz.
The real reason I’m writing this is because, dearest McCowley, I have dysentery. Becky says it was just the KFC that did a number on me, but I’m convinced it’s the fatal-D. Mind Becky while I’m gone, and see to it that she doesn’t marry that negro boy from the big-town.
i’m not going to lie, i joined the first group, i’m really interested in seeing if he at least attempts it. there really is no way it could work, like the reverend said, there’s no way to come up with the lung power…unless he uses something to suck and milk for him…jesus, i’m thinking way too much about this…
When I was young, my father had a darkroom in our basement that we adopted as our smoke room. After one too many, we decided to build a wall bong. We took 3, 5 gallon buckets with lids, and connected them together with pvc pipe. We had 2 hoses connected to it and the bowl we constructed would take about a half an ounce. It would take about 45 minutes to an hour of 2 people constantly pulling just for the smoke to start trickling. The bowl of course, would have long been burnt. Anyone who has smoked a bong knows: the longer you leave that smoke sitting, the more toxic and rough it is to take a pull. Lesson learned for me, and I thought about it quite a bit too.
To my year 12 physical ed. teacher who belaboured endlessly the perils of the “gateway drug”, I hope you read that group description while chomping on humble pie. After you eat the pie you can wash it down with a throat full of the contents of my scrote bag- “leads to loss of ambition”, like fuck it does, check out this overachiever. I love that this is how this guy “settles down” – rock on motherfucker.
oh, and annonymouse:
“Please spare us herbaceous respirers the widely cast assertions, my good chap.”
You took the words right out of my bong hole, nice.
The house bong would also need to form a really good vacuum. If a machine was used to pull air through the chimney, the house would have to be so airtight that air would be pulled from the toilet bowl through the basement flood water. Weather seal would not be good enough. He would have to cover all his walls, doors etc with a stiff, structurally strong airtight membrane that wouldn’t collapse and then crack from the forces caused by the sucking.
I hope this letter finds you well. The news of your possible Dysentery has me worried beyond compare. Will we never go hunting together and accidentally kill too many things and adversely affect the natives in the area? Will we never drive bumper cars and double team the girl in corner that has the car that only drives backwards?
I’ll assume it was the KFC, as Becky is very knowledgeable about the bowels, from what I remember.
Jack is doing fine. After the arm healed, he was back to running and playing and causing trouble like all little boys again. Therefore, I broke his arm again with the hammer, just like before. He’s so much better behaved with a cast holding him back.
I did see Andy’s grave as we passed by and remembering those nights in the toolshed, I felt it only right to pass by without stopping. Graveyards plus erections lead to jailtime. At least that’s what my pappy always told me.
Good luck with the dysentery and try not to drink the water. As you know, the 1850′s in the USA is like 2010 in Mexico… dirty water, cheap drugs, and lots and lots of prostitutes. Speaking of which, does it still burn when you pee?
I smiled for the last picture, simply because I also remember that game, with fondness. Many o’days spent in the library with nothing but fording rivers and killing bison and crossing my fingers when someone fell ill.
PBR is a long standing american beer. Which apparently he loves… a lot.
However, if i didn’t have the video game past, I probably wouldn’t think it should be on here.
PBR is swill. I imagine some hipster started drinking it “ironically” and all of his hipster friends, trying to be individuals by doing what all the other hipsters do, joined in. Now you have legions of 20-something kids who are too cool for their own good drinking urine out of a can
I was all ready to join the first group until I got to the last couple of sentences of the description. I then discovered that James didn’t know the difference between “your,” “you’re,” and “yore.” Therefore, fuck James and his house-bong dream.
Meh. These groups are pretty dull. It’s just a bunch of kids who think relaying old, stupid “jokes” is funny. No one gives a shot about Billy Mays mode, smoking pot doesn’t make you look enlightened and edgy, etc etc.
The only thing worse is those “when I was your age…” ones.
All considerations for the plan’s possibility of succeeding, and the possibility that this is not a real consideration and just a joke, aside, why does this guy need his GIRLFRIEND’S permission to turn HIS house into a bong?
just sayin. obviously if he’s a good bf he cares about her opinion, plus it wouldn’t work anyway. just thought it was interesting that no one commented on that aspect. if someone already did and i missed it, my bad.