Thursday, February 23, 2012

Family Ties

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59 Comments

  1. Ben!

  2. STEVEN!!

  3. In something like half of the United States, it is perfectly legal for first cousins to marry. No state forbids second cousins from marrying. So, you know, your call.

  4. Codename Dutchess

    If both their mothers are sisters that would make them first cousins, which makes things kind of dicey should they choose to breed. Based on their flippant use of the word “yall” I’ll go ahead and assume they live in a state that doesn’t frown on their citizens engaging in some cousin lovin’.

    /picks up banjo

  5. I know you are all going to assume these idiots are from Kentucky….and they probably are… but at least there are enough among us to save people like this from themselves. Thank God for KRS 402.010.

  6. @Steeeever Are you an Adam and Joe fan?

  7. They are gonna make flipper babies

  8. ^ Hahaha! Sounds cute.

  9. @hungover but they’ll be faster than lightning… *sarcasm*

  10. depending on the state, it could be illegal…

  11. gotta keep those bloodlines pure.

  12. Better for them to screw it up in their own bloodline than to screw up other’s.

  13. They is in love y’all. Cuz, Why U Not Change status to in a relationship? Do their parental units not know how to use facebook? Their grammar and lack of punctuation fucking hurts my brain.

    “we are grown yall mind your business its nothing too yall and we are not stupid we know we are cousins but whats it too yall”
    =
    “We’re grown up. Mind your business. Our incestuous behavior has nothing to do with you guys. We know we’re cousins, but were not stupid. Why do you care?”
    Yeah, whatever..

  14. does anyone know of any cousins that bred and had retarded babies?

  15. HAHA! CapnJaques I love when someone tries to get all grammar nazi and fails to correct their own mistakes.
    ‘but we’re not stupid’.
    But thanks for playing

  16. I bet they have a plaque that reads, “Why go across the street when you can go across the hall?” in their homes.

  17. turtlehead: I’m going to assume you’re the result of two cousins hooking up.

  18. turtlehead, I don’t know ANY cousins who have had bred, normal babies or retarded babies.

  19. Uhhhh these two are seriously messed up. Fuck your cousins all you want (it’s good practise) but you don’t fucking marry them. I used to do all sorts of nasty shit with my older, big dicked cousins, but we grew up and moved on like normal people.

  20. You’re welcome, Sparkles. I appreciate that you care enough about me to take the time to fix my minor errors while I was eating cake. “Now my pirate belly hurt.” So, by all means, feel free to interject, whenever the need arises.

  21. Take note, that’s not even me being a smartass. I should be slapped for that, with a fucking ladle.

  22. Thanks a lot CapnJaques! How am I going to get validation for my comment now? Skank!

  23. I’ll validate ya, miley. You seem to have your head screwed on straight.

  24. Good god, I’ll fucking validate it. I’m tickled that you fucked the shit out of your centaurian cousins. Are fucking happy now? Whore!

  25. Really? That’s fucking silly. How does this shit happen. Fucked up minds think alike…ish…

  26. I have to prove that I’m not everybody else. sababy demands it.

  27. The “yalls” really put this post over the top.

  28. We know how to take dicks. #dealwithit

  29. No running with penis in your hand, you might fall and get hurt!

  30. Or I might fall and get fucked until my sphincter is inverted.

  31. , and if that doesn’t boggle my brain a bit I don’t know what will. 10 fuckin’ points for you for an image I can’t erase. I’m just going to go do more drugs to make myself OK with the shit people say on here…lol…

  32. one time a dude fell onto a lightbulb while he was changing it naked and it ended up in his rectum. true story.
    why would he lie about that?

  33. satiring.blogspot.com/2012/02/how-to-judge-someone-instantly.html

  34. You know, one could argue that a moderate dose of narcotics and lamebook don’t mix, I disagree. This reminds me, I used to work in a correctional facility, and, one day, I’m doing my rounds and I walk in on this guy sitting on his footlocker with another familiar inmate kneeling between his legs. I thought to myself, OK, this is prison, and thought nothing of it, sometimes, strange things like that were the norm. Little did I expect, 10 minutes later the inmate that was casually reclining on the footlocker to emerge at my door and request to speak with me in private out in the hallway. I let the guy out and he proceeds to tell me his penis was bleeding, which was by this time evident by the blood seeping through his prison blues. Apparently, his cellmate was attempting to assist him in installing a pearl, and in doing so accidentally sliced halfway through his penis with a razor blade. The real winner was me, who then had to call medical and trying to maintain some sort of professional composure advise the nurse that answered the emergency line that I now had an inmate standing in front of me with his penis sliced halfway open. I almost felt bad for the guy, except for the next ten minutes I couldn’t do anything but laugh uncontrollably while I tried to explain what happened to my captain, who was just as boggled and shocked as I. I don’t even want to go into too much more detail, this whole event just went right up the chain of command, and to see the look on the Colonels face when he read my report and came across the word, “flaccid”. Fucking PRICELESS.

  35. I read that cool story, yoghurtybits – even though it was technically spam you naughty girl.
    It’s right on the fucking money, though.
    I have untamed, greasy, multi-coloured frizzy hair, which makes me a pure-hearted, misunderstood, puppy-murdering heart-throb.

    And my cooter is an evil genius.

  36. No evidence to indicate first cousins procreating would cause any genetic abnormalities. It’s only when you’re directly related, either sibling or parent. That’s why it’s legal in almost every state (more states than same-sex marriage).

    It is only a social taboo, so good for them doing what they want regardless of what society thinks.

  37. what the fuck is Rudd doing?

  38. all heil the return of King Kevin! may he make it reign cash once more.

  39. lol Ms. Well played.

  40. I know a first cousin couple who married. They have 3 kids. None of the kids are developmentally delayed/physically deformed by true definition. But they are all fucked in the head and ugly. Same goes for the parents.

    Ah, haven’t seen miley in a long time. She never posted much, but by God, when she did, she made me laugh. And nothing has changed. Good one.

    Krudd has no chance.

    sababe, have you checked out MsAnne‘s Tumblr? If not, you should. Sorry, but I laughed at the post dedicated to you. At the salted bit, mostly.

  41. If you are part of a family that repeatedly marries first cousins (this tends to happen with British Pakistani families as it’s a tradition to keep the money in the family) then you will begin to see a sharp increase in certain congenital conditions – some of them quite nasty. Eye conditions particularly.

    So, much like having sex with your partner when they’re passed out, it’s ok as a one off, but not as habit.

  42. If I’m not mistaken, hemophilia was created by the inbreeding of European royal families.

  43. Haemophilia is a recessive hereditary genetic disorder, and since some European Royal families had it, when they bred with other people who had it (relatives), it caused new members of the family to have it, and so on. It was not caused by inbreeding, though.

  44. stomabeutel v1.1 with added empathic capabilities

    @43 no need to start gay bashing…. dumb fuck.

  45. My Twentieth wife was my cousins’ cousins’ sister…. ok, ok she was my sister, you say tomato, I say potato.

  46. I’m surprised no one has referenced the hills have eyes yet.

  47. I stand corrected, Crane. However, may I point out that while it was not CAUSED by inbreeding, it was a result of inbreeding.

  48. I know of a local couple that I -think- are 2nd cousins (I’m pretty sure not 1st, but not as far as 3rd), and they have several kids. They all have hearing problems and require hearing aids, some are worse than others.

    Side note, my mother has DOUBLE first cousins. I wonder what would happen if two of those bred?

  49. Reason4happenings

    FAKE!

  50. Eh, who cares. Not harming anyone. And the risks of an unhealthy child between cousins are actually very small.

  51. Kay did you fail Biology or something? It is very dangerous to inbreed (because of the lack of genetic diversity which sets up offspring to fall into mutations), such is the case with pure bred dogs because their family lines are so close to one another.

    Have to say its disturbing to read, but not surprising.

  52. @07deadlysins

    I think you failed biology. Let’s assume that one of them had a genetic disorder in their family. Now let’s assume that one of them carried the recessive gene for that disorder. Now let’s assume that both of them did. Even then, there’s only a 1/4 chance of one of their kids having that disorder, which might not be present at all.

    You mention mutations…. inbreeding does not cause mutations. While all their traits would be homozygous, mutations aren’t occurring because of that.

  53. ^Look hellomoot, I knew these two kids at school whose ‘rents were 1st cousins. The whole family had these big sticky-out chins and were ugly as fuck.

    They looked like mutations to me. And I should know because I was there.

  54. 44: What are you talking about, specifically?

  55. drchalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    Hellomoot explains it best. Inbreeding increases the likelihood of genetic conditions that are already present in the genotype making an appearance in the phenotype. MsAnnThrope’s schoolmates’ families obviously already had the sticky-out chin gene to begin with. So maybe there’s an argument in favour of inbreeding where the people involved are tall, attractive, healthy, intellectually gifted (and whatever other genetic traits are considered positive these days – maybe justbeingmiley’s “big-dicked cousins” for example) people; I get the feeling that this argument doesn’t apply to Michael and Shannon however.

  56. drchalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    07deadlysins;
    No, Kay’s right. A single instance of procreation between cousins is unlikely to have any adverse effect. It takes successive generations of inbreeding.

  57. I can definitely picture Shannon and Michael appearing on a US version of Jeremy Kyle’s show.

  58. These people should not breed. I say that not because they’re cousins, but because they’re both dumber than a box of rocks. The world does not need their progeny.

  59. then who will fight in our wars?…oh.

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