Friday, May 20, 2011

Exed Out!

previous post: Parents Suck

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44 Comments

  1. Calenthedestroyer

    Wooow. Utterly destroyed.

  2. Comprehensive work Michael. Well done indeed.

  3. Hats off to Michael! I bow to your superiority.

  4. comparethemeerkat

    Fair play to him! But I bet she sucks a mean penis. Or peni. She strikes me as someone who doesn’t get pregnant because she’d rather the 11 dudes play tiddley spunks on her chest.

  5. ifitwerentformyhorse

    Hahaha Jennie really did not think that one through.

  6. wow.fkn slammed! and bullshit she inherited lots of money… typical female thing to say!

  7. And she thought that she was SOOOOO cool with her revenge plan. God those people piss me off.

    That was very thorough. And efficient. Bitch best watch her back……actually scratch that, it’s too late for her now.

  8. doctorchalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    I don’t know about that, bradles. I just broke up with my girlfriend despite knowing she’s about to inherit about half a million dollars. I’m okay with my decision though.

  9. thehungrykraken

    I would love to feel the epic feeling of WIN that he felt when he posted this. That would be pure bliss

  10. thatfukkenfurry

    Hope she’s got enough money to buy a new house, new job, the judge and new friends.

  11. @doctorchalk .. where’s the ex live?

  12. I call bullshit. No way did he respond with all that in three minutes. Funny, but really getting tired of all the fake posts around here.

  13. I agree. Fake.

  14. I would’ve set her shit on fire too though. Turn about is fair play and all that.

  15. Funny, when you’re angry you can type fast. I just tried it- in a calm mind, I made it in just under 3 minutes. Some people type fast. Like I said, especially when theyre angry. So give them the benefit of the doubt, it makes it funnier :)

  16. bollywood_rocks83

    girlymcfemale, anger is like a second wind for some people. I am a “pecker” when it comes to typing. If I’m angry, I become the best typist in the world.

  17. MsBuzzkillington

    I have to agree with the above posts. When I am angry I can type like the wind. Usually flawlessly too. Just because someone types faster than you can, doesn’t mean the post is fake.

    Also what do you think they did… photoshopped the time stamps for it to be funnier? Or photoshopped fake wall posts?

  18. I am definitely in the “calling bullshit” category on this one – unless Michael was glued to his news feed in anticipation of Jennie showing her ass in this manner AND had already crafted some, if not all, of his response in advance. It just seems highly implausible otherwise, especially given the anger inherent in these types of situations as well as the fact that we men typically are not keystroke speed-demons.

    MsBuzz: I am guessing that either a) ‘Jennie’ and ‘Michael’ are the same person with two (and perhaps more) different accounts or b) they are BS accounts held by two bored teen-aged friends coordinating with each other in their quest for Lamebook “fame”. Given some of the highly suspect crap we often see here, neither one of the above is a stretch.

  19. This sounds like the second act in a shitty romantic comedy.

    Michael (Ryan Reynolds) is a quick and clever everyman, who has always got by on his wit and charm. But will he ever find true love?

    Jennie (Jennifer Lopez) is the bitchy shrew Michael inexplicably lives with.

    Mark (Jennifer Aniston) is the girl Michael was meant to be with. But will he realize it in time to stop her from entering a civil union with Jennie?

    This summer, don’t miss the titillating lesbian scenes in our PG-13 movie: Dream Snatcher

  20. @girlymcfemale: He didn’t have to DO all that in 3 minutes, just type his response in that time (easy if his job involved typing). She could have turned up at work in the morning, then done her ‘deeds’. If he’d got the sack straight away, he’d have had plenty of time to get through his revenge (for getting him the sack) before she posted.

    Personally, I’d have left it a week or so before posting my response. Better to let her get blindsided by the shit hitting the fan time & time again.

  21. hootie the blowfish

    Not only do I think it’s bullshit, but even if it WERE true, I would have to disagree with those claiming some sort of victory for Michael. They’re both losers.

  22. Jennie could not be less creative. Michael could not sound more like a petty little bitch. Both these revenge plays are pathetic. I’d like to burn their clothes. But when they’re wearing them.

  23. I agree with Keyser Sose – this could be real. Not saying it is, but the timestamps don’t matter, seeing that the bad stuff went down earlier.

  24. Michael is a hero. End of.

  25. Soup, that was epic. And sounds like it could very well happen. I demand this movie gets made.
    At the end, there will be a disclaimer “Based on a Lamebook story”

  26. Bigmike makes an excellent point. The time stamps mean nothing. The whole scenario could have taken place three hours earlier.

  27. sometimes i just want to be held

  28. Pics or it didn’t happen.

  29. actually, she does have some place to live–at least until michael serves her with an eviction notice, and then she has thirty to sixty days, depending on the state, to find a new place to crash. in my home state, you can’t even evict an unwanted guest without a thirty day notice provided that some of their belongings are in your home.

  30. Legend. The witch deserved it.

  31. She pissed on someone’s chair at a party.
    Surely that says enough.

  32. Though I agree it’s fishy that he posted a response right after she said that, I don’t think it shows that this is fake. There are a couple of things that could have happened here.

    1.) He’s always online, and he was just waiting to publicize his revenge to the whole FB world. Maybe had even typed out something along these lines then saw her status and took the opportunity when he saw it.
    2.) She waited till she saw he was online to post this, and got it at just the perfect timing to where he responded right away.
    3.) He could have her FB updates sent to his phone for some odd reason.
    4.) Pure coincidence that they were on at the same time.
    5.) Someone has too much time on their hands because this is fake.

  33. I think it’s plausible. If my other half and I have had an argument, I can sit all day dwelling on and meticulously planning exactly what I’m going to say to him in my head when I get home.

    If this were the case I don’t think I’d have any trouble quickly keyboard-vomiting it out in the space of 3 minutes.

  34. ismayonnaiseaninstrument

    what’s the word i’m looking for here? oh yeah. Owned.

  35. I don’t mean to be a self-promoting spammer but I think lamebook readers would appreciate my latest blogpost, so if anyone has the time please check it out :) http://satiring.blogspot.com/2011/05/whats-on-your-mind.html#more

  36. throwingtofu: My point exactly.

  37. stomabeutel v1.1 with added empathic capabilities

    @35 After reading your latest work, I felt the urge to write something really horrible involving inside-out kittens, decapitated midgets and group raped ladybugs.

    However, after an unintentional click on the “older posts” button , I chose to have angry sex for hours but was forced to cut the session short when my palm started bleeding. Yet another evening of crying myself to sleep, thanks for that. I hope you feel proud of yourself.

  38. There is an old saying Revenge is a dish best served cold

    Which is a load of old dolphin cock. Revenge is patently a dish best served with a claw hammer, negligee, tuning fork and a pick axe.

    Haloumi to introduce you to a shovel to the back of the head, you fucking unimaginative slutslug.

  39. littleredcorvette

    According to girlmcfemale, people apparently facebook shit as soon as it happens. Could it be that Michael did this stuff on his own with all his newly acquired spare time, and then happened across Jennie’s post later in the day? No, of course not. This all had to have happened right away. Girlmcfemale is a dumbass.

  40. I did appreciate the blogpost

  41. Am I littleredcorvette? Or are you the dumbass who misread my post? The latter, obviously. I said it is unlikely he responded so fast, as in responded on facebook, dur!

    You realize it’s a sign of immaturity and underdeveloped social skills to take an elitist attitude toward your own masterful intelligence and a mistaken perception of anothers alleged stupidity in an attempt to use it as fodder for your own ego-stroking, don’t you?

    Yawn….and by the way: get a real screenname.

    I still say bullshit. This post was probably from some lamebook fan looking for a little front page glory.

  42. Of course it’s fake. A person like Jennie posting this right after she did all that, ran home and… Posted without making spelling mistakes?
    No shit Sherlock, I think not.

  43. pandainspandex

    @girlymc… “Get a real screenname”? *snap* Oh no you di’n't!

  44. Without further ado, I give you the bad-ass honey badger’s red-headed step brother, the fucking GINGER BEAR! Thats right people; I’ve discovered the ginger of the animal kingdom…

    http://eviltrancetwins.com/the-red-panda/

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