Monday, June 28, 2010

Everyday Entertainment

previous post: Jacqed Up!

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58 Comments

  1. Deb loses majorly.

  2. Either Jon is a very generous person or one who isn’t up to date with prices at all. As for Deb, well if you have only one item to sell, you better sell it for a good price. So, good call there.

  3. Carlo is the definition of douchebag.

    Deb failed majorly.

  4. And wow, Carlo just set a new meaning for ‘low’. Very very low. Happy for someone getting beat up and more importantly, a baby having an unplanned miscarriage? Just because you didn’t want a baby. Some people NEED to get banned from breeding.

  5. …you can plan a miscarriage these days?

  6. i wish people would all shut up with this banned from breeding thing! seriously, who do you think would collect our garbage and fix our sewers? do you not understand how society works?

    now fat people, they actually ARE a waste of space. amanda – maybe ‘the man’ with the knife was just trying to cut some of your fat away…

  7. Sarah’s grandfather is my new hero!

  8. I am hoping Cdot is Black. I know that doesn’t make it much better, but still …

  9. @6: Both those professions make great money?

  10. Great job today Lamebook :D

  11. Totally Cool said: “a baby having an unplanned miscarriage?”

    ROFL @ the fact TC thinks there is such a thing as “planned miscarriage”….unless you thinking of murder/abortion. LOL

  12. @6 – hey, have you ever asked a NYC garbageman what he makes? It ain’t peanuts!

  13. sorry i live in england, where ‘refuse collectors’ are well and truly at the bottom of the food chain.

    maybe you pay them more in america because you have more refuse? i wouldn’t know.

  14. I find it amusing that two people made fun of Totally Cool for saying “unplanned miscarriage” but nobody said anything about “a baby having a miscarriage”. If babies are having miscarriages now, I don’t know what this world is coming to…

  15. @5 Yes, unfortunately I have seen a ‘planned miscarriage’. If you can call it that.

    @11 Abortion is different, I’m talking about some people who plan ‘accidents’ to get rid of the baby. If you haven’t heard of it, perhaps you live in a much better neighborhood than me :)

    And I’m usually just neutral on these abortion/miscarriage stuff, but when I first saw the comments I was surprised that some people are just using two words that I used to prove their existence, but then again it’s the internet XD

  16. Really, things are much easier when a baby has a miscarriage. Trying to get them an abortion just means paperwork, awkward questions, and a visit from Child Services. I’ve never been so happy to change a diaper.

  17. Barrett is the one that annoys me the most. I had a similar experience at work a few years back. I was selling someone an expensive person and while we were talking someone else came up and told her all about the big sale going on over at another store, then just walked away.

  18. MsBuzzKill is in the slave trade? Or a subtle shout out to the babies are cheaper at Walmart than Target joke?

  19. haha monthly payout fatty increase sounds like a plan, Ive been saying that needs to happen in the UK for too long lol
    poor debs… thats gotta sting.

  20. Carlo is a pig.

    I feel bad for both Amanda and Deb. :/ Blah blah blah bleeding heart.

  21. lol negro. ppl should use that word more often

  22. releasethehounds

    Deb: I’m starving, will have sex with anyone for $2.

    Barrett: Here’s $1, and we’re doing it twice.

  23. Damn it, there’s no comment thread for the lamebook book. Oh well. I hope they put some of the commenters in it, seeing as I remember the lamebook classic where they gave props to them for making a mediocre post into something funny with what everyone said (even though it’s done on a regular basis, that one was golden).

  24. @13: I think it’s because it’s a job no one wants, so we’re willing to pay more so that people will actuallly do it. Plus garbage strikes are the worst.

  25. Me too, nuff. It looks like that books just going to be split into sections of like, ‘Background Checks’ ‘Ink That Stinks’ and stuff like that, so including commenters would make that book a hell of a lot more awesome. But if they do, they need to include the following things:

    word, ee, Soup, slim etc having one of their late night sessions.
    A decent amount of comments from malteaser. After all, she’s a Lamebook commenter too.
    Someone coming on to a post about, say, miscarriage jokes, and causing the world and it’s dog to come and post long stories about their history with miscarriage and why they like/don’t like the post and everyone who doesn’t share this point of view is uniformly a fucktard.
    That time Lamebook forgot to blank out a name, and a girl from the post and herr friends came to Lamebook and went mental, so some people on Lamebook tracked her down thanks to Lamebook’s mistake, started stalking and harassing her, and made a Facebook group mocking her. Good clean fun, that.
    Me trying to be funny and dying on my arse in front of y’all.

    Come on Lamebook.

  26. I’ve been a long-time watcher of you all and find most of you to be incredibly funny and make the whole site much more worth a glance but I just had to register to vent something-
    I know that, most likely, these comments about trash collectors and the like are made with a hint of irony and I’m probably just over-reacting but I just want to throw this out there-
    It sucks to be them. I know it does, because I was one (a Cleaner/Maintainance girl) up until about a week ago. Sometimes you just get thrown into the job and there’s nothing you can do about it. I’m well educated consider myself to be a pretty intellegent person, and the people I worked with were the same… S**t happens and people have to earn a living- just remember that.
    If I just convince one of you to be more polite to “the bottom of the food chain” I would be happy, because I was treated so poorly on a daily basis.
    Again, I know that you probably don’t actually believe your own joke, but I just wanted to say… I’m probably gonna get a whole lot of abuse now, lol…

    Anyway, I’ll just ass this: This site wouldn’t be the same without the comments. I honestly find them to be the best part most of the time, they should at least include one user comment that adds to the post, ya know?

  27. *add this… not ass… that’s embarrassing.

  28. @Amis_Reunis

    If the garbage man is so great, why does he always rebuff my advances? I just want him to touch it. He’s wearing gloves, what difference would it make to him?

  29. .cum.and.av.a.go.if.u.fink.ur.hard.enuff.

    i dont reeeally understand why carlos is on here..that bitch probably deserved it if shes tryin to tie down some guy with a baby. babies shouldnt be used as weapons. i fucked this girl i met for the first time in a club last year and she got pregnant cos she didnt have any condoms with her so we had to ride bareback and she werent on the pill. worst thing about it was she came back to my place for it so SHE KNEW WHERE I LIVED!! meant i couldnt get away from her!! she ended up coming round to tell me WHILE MY WIFE WAS HOME (yeah yeah i know it’s bad but guys nature means they have needs that only one woman cant fulfil before all u feminists n stuff pipe up) and told me she was preggers and my wife heard. i made some bullshit up about it being my buddy dave’s one night stand and she didnt know where dave lived so came to tell me to tell him, and the wife believed me haha thank fuck shes a bit of a dosey cow..well she belived me to some extent, but she did say when this baby was born she wanted DNA to make damned sure. well thats when i started screwin and dint know what i should do about the situation. this girl kept coming round every couple of weeks, at first i didnt believ her just thought she was probly making it up to stay in my life cos she seemed pretty obsessed with me, but then her stomach definitly got fatter maybe from food, maybe a baby, but neways she kept begging me to leave my wife and i wasnt gna do that, she seriously started fucking me off, begging me to give her money “to help the baby”. i was like “i dont even fucking know you, i dont want your baby, get a fucking abortion!!!!!!!!!!!! if u bring that baby into the world i will kick it’s ass when it grows up i would hate it THAT much for ruining my life”..well that scared her but not enough..i ended up having to get a couple of my friends to sort her out, went to her place, kicked the door in, slapped her around. obviously they didnt hit her in the stomach cos that is taking it too far i know..but they frightened the life outta her. they said to her if she didnt get rid of the baby herself then theyd have to take it into their own hands. they wouldnt actually have, we just needed to scare the shit outta her. it worked so she had an abortion!! thank. fuck. for that. it wouldve been due a couple of months ago and my life wouldve been in tatters but now im happy again and that bitch hasnt been round since. i told my wife she had miscarridge so no problems there, and now when i fuck other girls i always make sure theyre on the pill first so can ride bareback without any problems like that again!!! just to teach everyone lessons to be very careful, and yeah sorry for my rant, i just know how that carlos dude must feel and it is SUCH a relief when the baby isnt there anymore!

  30. wow. rant much!?

  31. @29 – that’s one of the best comments ever! Love it.

    And I love Sarah’s grandpa.

  32. @29 why not try a threesome with the preggers and the wife?

  33. AngelsNDragonflies

    @29 Full of yourself much? Jeesh, what a piece of work.

  34. @29 do the world a favour and get a vasectomy…

  35. @MsBuzzKill

    it was an expensive person? what kind of services did they provide?

    @.cum.and.av.a.tl;dr

    cool story, bro

  36. and soup, your garbage man obviously isn’t good enough for you if he can’t recognise that a good time is to be had…

  37. I don’t know if youre serious, wetspot, but if are then you are the stenchiest pile of vomit on the planet.

    But i do feel a sense of gratitude to you for making sure you don’t have too many offspring. You might want to carry some morning after pills with you and force them down the throats of any more retarded women you bed.

  38. You should also make sure your moronic wife is on the pill. Those kids are bloody expensive you know? Thanks mate.

  39. I wonder if Carlos’ baby-momma was faking a pregnancy and faked getting beat up? Otherwise, he is kind of a doucher.

    @29 Just wow. One day you are going to get some fun VD. That’ll be a hoot to explain to your wife!

  40. The Salmon Mousse

    @26. I can understand where your coming from, and I agree with you partially. However (and I am a douche for pointing this out, and will probably go to hell) describing yourself as an “intellegent” person doesn’t give the best impression.

    /Hangs head in shame, for being low enough to point out spelling errors.

    I can’t tell whether #29 is trolling, or whether he’s just a screw short of, well, a screw.

  41. @29 is either a fucking douchebag, or the stupidest troll ever, ie. a fucking douchebag.

  42. .cum.and.av.a.go.if.u.fink.ur.hard.enuff.

    wow, that’s pretty hurtful. i came on here to give my advice, honest opinion on one of the posts and an apropriate anecdote to go along with it; I give you my time, thoughts and secrets, and most of you come back firing words of hate at me like bullets; like im some sort of afgahni terrorist or something. so ur all so perfect are u? just because I choose to share the things in my life that have happened to me, out of pure bad luck, doesnt make me any worse than all of you who are too embarassed to admit your shortcomings. in fact, it actually makes me better than you. it wasnt my fault she wouldnt fucking leave me alone like some sorta psycho stalker bitch!! I know now i shoulda just shoved it in her mouth and forced the chick to give me deepthroat when I found out she wasnt on the pill and hadnt thought to carry condoms around with her (typical ho to be fair), but I was tanked and horny and felt like ramming some ass. im sure most guys will agree with me that when ur hot for it, ur hot for it, no matter who it is. pretty much any piece of ass will do. the wife was actually taking our kids to visit her mom in hospital down south so when she wasnt there to cater to my needs i had to find something else or i woulda gone stir crazy. besides that story isnt even bad..nothing like some of the shit i could tell u.
    walter – my wife isnt on the pill, nor do we use condoms, they say that the meaning of life is to continue ur genes so belive me that is exactly what im doign!! just cz i dint want that ho having my baby doesnt mean my wife shouldnt! we’re on 4 with 1 currently in the oven and its getting close to arrival date, luckily the state is supporting us pretty nicely since i had my accident and neither of us can work coz we’re so busy with the little uns. i could tell u about my accident but uve ruined ur chances of that by disrespecting me and my family and i dont want any of ur sympathy. there are a couple of girls in the past im not sure but may have had my babys coz they were idiots who didnt bother protecting themselfs with the pill and tried tellin me they were keeping them, but the good thing is ive moved around a fair bit ever since i left college coz i got married young n dint want my wife finding out about me getting other girls preggo (obviously), so they wouldnt be able to find me neway. its like everytime iv been told i got a girl preggers ive moved away! its probly not even true anyhow – girls arent allll THAT fertile.
    well i hope u all learn ur lessons about not being rude when someone opens up to u all.. it’s really quite harsh and fucking rude! and now u can’t hear any of my interesting stories. ur losses!
    peace suckers.

  43. @29 Haha, well played. Unless you’re serious, in which case fuck you very much.

  44. Mr. Cum’s posts are just too long and too erratic with the spelling to evoke any interest. Moving right along…

  45. Ha, garbage collectors around here just drive a truck around a block with a machine arm that picks up the bins and dumps it automatically into the back. One man job, and they get paid pretty damned well since it’s a city job. Now, those old school garbage collectors where the guy hangs off the back and picks it up… Ohhhh boy, does it ever suck to be you.

  46. Come on everyone… does nobody else find .cum.and.av.a.go’s post just a teensy bit funny? He is clearly joking (except for you, Musket – you seem to get it)!

  47. @ .cum.and.av.a.go.

    For the record, the internet has never been kind to those without thick skin. Also, you picked a humor website to “open up”. That’s painting a big, red target on your hide and darting through a shooting range. This is the kind of story that you tell to your closest friends, who MIGHT empathize. However, to a casual observer you showed bad judgment and are paying for it. Even if she was trying to play you for a sucker, you brought that on yourself the moment you whipped it out.

    And for the love of Marduk, don’t use that “I can’t help it, I was horny” excuse. It doesn’t hold water. Most guys, most humans have something called self-restraint. It generally keeps us out of bad situations except for when the universe decides some cosmic sodomy is in order. If that was the case, you may or may not have gotten some sympathy. It’s the damn internet, bad idea to bare your soul to anyone but trusted friends on here. Usually…

    Finally, what are you doing getting tanked at a club with a wife at home? Going deep into the mouth of madness, I’d say. Perhaps cumming in it if your story is true.

  48. @gingivitis

    It’s possible he’s serious. This IS the internet, after all. I like to cover my bases. :P

  49. Oh, ok. Musket’s not on my side either then.

  50. I feel so alone.

  51. @Gingivitis
    you’re not alone, I thought it was hilarious!

  52. Usually I read all the comments on here they really do make my day most days (I know sad life I have) but cum.and.av.a.go. just ruined this one for me. Thanks Douche

  53. @The Salmon Mousse – You’re right, I would have pointed it out myself… Oh, the irony.

    About cum.and.av.a.go – He’s clearly a troll, it’s in the name.

  54. At first I felt kinda bad for Deb…but if she can still afford internet to FB on then obviously her priorities are a little screwed up.

  55. Sarah’s grandpa FTW!

  56. i think i’m in love with av.a.go

    thing that sucks about carlo is he’s probably just gonna go do the same thing over again since he got off so easy.

  57. bloody hell cum.and.av.a.go.if.u.fink.ur.hard.enuff.

    By the way…your name precedes you and makes your post funny…..I’m on your side gingivitis don’t worry.

  58. Don’t worry gingy – I’m with you!

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