Wednesday, September 9, 2009

eHarmony.com, Dude.

eharmony-dude

previous post: Shades of Lame

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44 Comments

  1. This works about 3% of the time. I’ve tried it before.

  2. Might I bring up that “The Naked Man” works 2/3 times with women.

    Fwiw

  3. He’s not only desperate but impatient as well. He’s actually surprised he hasn’t found a girlfriend after a 46 minute search?

  4. He’s…he’s…somehow irresistible.

  5. Desperation is so sexy!

  6. Any male that says openly that they want to cuddle has some problems, according to me.

  7. I am single. Want to mingle.

  8. a metrosexual caveman’s mating call

  9. I wanna see how this cat chats up in real life.

    “Hey dere!!!! Imma big n love big lol lmao!!! I’m singel belive it lol!!! Hey lady!! LADY!!! PPlz cmon lol!!!”

  10. Is that or is that not a blurred-out picture of a sexy and huge beer gut with a t-shirt riding up it?

  11. @Jonas-LOL!!! awesome

  12. Disappointingly, it is no beer gut after all. Unfortunately for Javian, it’s not difficult to find him on Facebook, but I will say one thing: I would.

  13. No time for lamebook today…watching the healthcare reform speech…too busy to comment on how the new bill will help desperate above finally afford a shrink

  14. Oh Javian. I would date you, but I just don’t think you want a relationship badly enough, and I’m afraid of getting hurt…

  15. Pathetic excuse for humanity.

  16. Even I, a straight man, find myself attracted to this individual.

  17. I bet he rubs his bean three times a night.

  18. haha, his bean

  19. wyf indeed

  20. My last four dates have been with girls I met on the internet. But none of them on a dating site. Hm.

  21. Marla had a good start there. Why did she have to spoil it with the lol and the heart?

  22. if he wants to get laid, why not just rape someone like i do? :/

  23. Oooh a troll! It’s like teh real forumz

  24. I’ve never been so gutted to be married.

  25. This part disturbed me “I have best friends that gets me through this, I love u all”

  26. This reminds me of the time my Uncle Jack went on eHarmony. The thing is, he didn’t know that they matched you on the highly-acclaimed 21 levels of whatever; so he breezed through the questionnnaire because he just wanted to flip through pictures like they were some mail order bride, finding the hottest and hoping he could give her his seed.
    Unfortunately for Uncle Jack, in his careless answering of the questions, he chose his favourite music as Rap / R&B, favourite place to eat as KFC and ‘on a typical saturday evening, he would: bust out the 40 and spit some evil riddems’

    Jack’s first date was with Latoyah Otis Ellis, and let’s just say it didn’t go over well. You see, Jack is a life-long Klan member. Unfortunately the girl provided a false picture, but indeed answered questions truthfully.

    Anyways, this was all before Uncle Jack started raping little boys and pinching big soft loafs on their stomachs. That I will save for another entry.

  27. This is the type of guy who shows up to a club at 11 p.m. with four other dudes–no girls at all–and wonders why the bouncer won’t let them in.

  28. Give me his address – I’ll send him an inflatable doll…

  29. Maybe Javian doesn’t realise that teddybears are no longer cute when they’re “big ass”, and therefore technically known as “grizzlies”.

  30. lmao i fell sorry for teh guy.. wait.. he’s single??? :O :L

  31. lmao i feel sorry for the guy.. i’m ‘thinkion’ he need to try speed dating..

  32. wait… are we SURE this is a guy? This level of clingyness is usually only seen in high school girls who get their nails done once a week, doodle their boyfriend’s name on every school assignment and have no activities of their own because they spend all their time cheering on their boyfriend’s sports team, hanging out with him and his friends and generally whining about how they can’t live without him.

  33. Ya know I might take him up on it if I were single and all,but I’m afraid of the language barrier.

  34. Donald Trump's Comb-Over

    Yes, Javian. You DO have ‘da best friends ever’! They love you so much they submitted you to Lamebook.

  35. wow this guy is pathetic and iritating

  36. I bet Marla fucked him, and now he stalks her. Who wouldn’t want this stud to stalk them? Who the fuck calls themself handsome, btw. That’s a bit funky.

  37. anyone that types lol! then lmao then rofl one after another deserves to lose internet privileges

  38. Jav is talkin to himself. Kinf of mirrors his sex life…

  39. Did he mention that he’s single?

  40. gah if this guys single, i have no chance.

  41. I’m surprise he’s still single. With spelling like that, he must be a really cool dude. Surely he’d have to fight the girls off?

  42. He’s the best example for guys that overestimate themselves, thinking of their attractiveness and the day when they’ll marry a model.

  43. Oooh, Marla could’ve clinched the FTW but she definitely dropped the ball with the ill timed “…..lol (heart)”. It saddens me to to see such opportunities wasted :-(

    to Anonis- priceless

  44. I am single. Want to mingle too.

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